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Husband Has Bad Mood Swings

I've been married for 3 years and since we've had our 8 month old daughter he has become more abusive and verbally calling me names. I have 2 other children from my first marriage and they don't even want to come over to see me, because of his temper and mood swings. Please help. God Bless

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 ---andrea on 10/13/05
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Hi im sorry that your going through like I am I have 7 kids I on the way and been married for 12 years and my has been unfaithful (cheating through out the marriage and I feel im being verbal abuse as well and I take care of his mom who's leagally blind and in diapers, its not easy but I feel that im not appreciated in any way. I have ups and downs and I get called names and told that he's leaving all the time. So please pray for me I need it.
---syeeda on 12/29/09

I know its the hardest thing to do,and to be honest i'm about to do the same.Leave. Although I don't have any children,but have known him for 6 years, and married for three and half. I am going through physical and mental abuse to the extreme. I know it will be tough, but I am leaving.
---Farzi on 2/3/08

If he has been physicall abusive of you GET OUT NOW. Don't wait for another episode. Flee for your safety and the safety of your child.

He needs therapy and you can't fix him by staying.
---Madison on 6/3/07

I'm in the same boat right now. I don't know what to do. He is a pastor and we have 3 children. He doesn't want to get help. I ask for your prayers. My kids are suffering from his actions (it's just verbally and emotional abuse). Please pray for us
---Claudia on 2/7/07

It is a proven fact that kids who witness and/or experience habitual abuse are more likely to tolerate others being abused and also become abusers themselves. Makes me wonder about you, David....I'm tired of women being sent home by their counseling pastors with instructions to "be more submissive" and the men not held accountable by the church for criminal behavior. Girl, get out, get out, get counseling so you avoid the same kind of partner the next go-round.
---Ellen on 8/20/06

Andrea, I've been in your shoes, and it was my PASTOR husband...who was physically & emotionally abusive and refused to get help. Our "secret"...Are you scared? Do you worry "what will my fmly/friends/church think??!". Don't WORRY about what they think, only what's best for you and the children. If he refuses to get help, he WON'T change and you and your children are in harms (physical & mental) way. God will still love you! He's not a "Get You!" God!!
---Caroa6864 on 11/16/05

Dear Sister, I have been where you are, please get yourself the book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans. It will speak to you like it was written for you and help you make sense of it and more importantly give you ways to address the issue. It changed my life.
---Maxine on 10/23/05

David, she said he is abusive. I counsel all women and men in abusive relationships, married or single, to get out. Research shows there is no way that the abuser is going to get better while the victim stays with him/her. The victim must get out to stay alive.
---Madison on 10/14/05

Run quickly and don't look back. I'm speaking from personal experience and from experiences of working with battered women.
---Dee on 10/14/05

We are human, and we make mistakes from time to time. However, God wants us to learn from those mistakes and change things we are doing. No one deserves abuse, physical or otherwise. To many times people stay in these relationships end up dead. Do not follow this pattern, get yourself and daughter out. Even God repented, you can to with this marriage of this person.
---geraa7578 on 10/14/05

You stated "he has become more abusive" this indicates he has always been abusive.Seems you could deal with "lesser abuse" but not this.You set the pattern by allowing any abuse,but if he has become a danger to the children's emotional or physical welfare you must put children first.Temper/mood swings may indicate a physical problem,see if he will go to a doctor for a checkup.The most important thing is get your baby away from him until he gets help and changes.
---Darlene_1 on 10/14/05

By putting your question online in this format on this site all you are doing is trying to justify a decision you have already made by getting a sympathy vote. There are things that can be done to work to a remedy of the situation. Remember... By leaving you would be the one in disobedience. "For better or for worse" is the oath that you made before Christ.
---David on 10/13/05

andrea, I am sorry but, I have to agree with the others when they say you need to get out of this situation. For your sake and for your childrens sake. He may abuse you and have his moods with you today bbut one day he will take out anger on your children. Do not let this happen. It is your responsibility to protect you and your children. God did not create marraiges where one avuses the other. He created marraige to be a loving, trusting union. Get some Christian help and take care of you and your kids.
---Marla on 10/13/05

I agree. If physical abuse is happening it's time to leave. God hates divorce but that doesn't mean He wants us to suffer physical abuse. At least find another place to live while you both attend counseling and he attends anger management - then IF that is successful you might try again - but I definately think physical abuse is a deal breaker!
---Marilee on 10/13/05

LEAVE the situation NOW....I was in a situation where the verbal abuse turned into emotional abuse and your children don't need to hear him....pray for him and tell him that you refuse to put up with his anger and abuse any longer....then get in touch wih a crisis center to seek safe refuge and get owe it to your little girl...God does NOT expect His children to be abused so you need to do what is best for yourself and your children are in my prayers!
---fran6775 on 10/13/05

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