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Stop Sleeping With My Boyfriend

Me and my boyfriend been dating 10 months and he has changed with in the last month. should leave him? Hes not affectiante and is distant, and just sits around .Its like he became a different person and the thing is we are backslidders and yes i moved in with him and thats when it changed.

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 ---Dawn on 10/22/05
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It also reminds me of an old adage which ended with: "Yesterday was the campaign, today you voted."
Or, for this instance, "Yesterday was the enticement, today your here."
Honor God by returning to Him and His ways, thereby testing your boyfriend's love for you.
If he is the man God has for you, he will follow suit, if he will not, he isn't the man.
Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
---micha9344 on 11/11/14

There's a rather crude analogy, but I think it applies here.

Why should he commit to buying the cow and having to feed and house her when he gets the milk for free?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/9/14

Did you get your question answered, or do you want more Bible answers? Do you care to give more information to be more specific?
---sin5694 on 11/9/14

since this blog is almost a decade old, i hope you have found the answers and peace.
---aka on 10/20/14

It is less a sin that you leave your boyfriend now than that you marry with all these differences and hatred for one another. Leave him now before it worsens. Of course, biblically, you should probably marry the man and stay together for life if he is the one who claimed your virginity. Then you can enjoy unhappiness for a life time.
---sin on 10/19/14

hello Dawn,
i believe that your friend may be feeling guilty and at the same time contemplating how to get you to do the right thing without hurting you.
move out and come in through the right channel
apologize for moving-in, you have allowed yourself to be temptatation

do the right thing for God's blessings and mutual respect

God bless u as you do so
---patience on 7/29/08

If you are both believers in Christ, then you know your first step is to confess the sin to the Lord. Then repentance, if you can do that together that's great. However, at the very least you need to do that. You will find no dating modeled in the Scripture. It is one of the sad secular relationships we have picked up from the world. Paul in the Bible wrote that a man should not touch a woman, unless married of course. We take the blame with you, since the Christian community at large continues to not speak out against dating. Your relationships with men you love intimately should only be in marriage. Please listen to Jonathan Lindval's teaching on Biblical relationships.
---Ron on 7/10/08

I think your eyes were opened to see the real person. That doesn't usually happen when people live together.

That happens after marriage. Count your losses and move on.
---Donna on 7/10/08

Perhaps previously he was behaving as well as he knew how.
Now you have slept with him, he reckons hae has got you dependent on him for sexual satisfaction, so you will not leave him
So there is now no need for him to behave so kindly as before.
Or maybe, after the thrill of the chase. he has become bored.
---alan8869_of_UK on 7/9/08

Oh come on! You've got to be kidding us, or fooling yourself. You don't need to ask anyone if you should stop sinning. And yes, premarital sex is sinning.
---Bobby on 10/8/07

God can't bless co-habitation. It is not his will. When you started living with him you saw this change. Repent and God can mend what was broken.
---sam on 3/8/06

I think your bf is being convicted by the Holy Spirit and he is battling that war inside himself (Praise God) and it will continue until you both do the right thing.
God Bless you both.
But, you already this. Let God bring you together as husband and the right time. You will both have more respect for yourselves and each other when you do and this will strengthen your relationship as husband and wife.
---irhnow on 3/8/06

You are not married. You don't have children with him. I divorced my first husband because he became 'broadminded' and I wasn't. It is better to know these things in the beginning, so you can cut your losses and move on.
---michele on 3/8/06

If you know it is wrong in what you are doing, like you said, you need to ask for forgiveness. When you do that though, you also need to repent, which means to turn from sin. You cannot continue to keep asking God to forgive you of a sin if you dont turn from it and continue to commit it. You should move back out, repent and ask for forgiveness. Most importantly, come back to the Lord. He still loves you and wants you back. He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sin.
---Cyndi on 10/31/05

Yes Dawn, you must make a choice.
Either this relationship is to be permananet, in which case yuo should make plans to have it sanctified before God
Or it is not to be permanent, and you should get out of it straight away.
Or you just put your head in the sand, and carry on as at present, and get yourself more and more confused and unhappy.
Others have given you the Christian view of this ... and I agree with them.
---alan8869_of_UK on 10/25/05

I know sex is a sin and I know living with a man is a sin.I am asking in reality but I think I would say that i believe he wants to be mothered and he knows he has me now and can be himself and thats just his personallity and he is being selfish.and he dont relize it or its just him.I know the lord forbids what i am doing and I pray he will forgive me and I will make a choice.thank you all
---Dawn on 10/24/05

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Sounds like he got what he wanted and now doesn't feel like he has to keep trying?? My suggestion is for you to repent, get closer to God, move out and move on.
---Melissa on 10/23/05

Its really immoral of you and your bf doing..Everything starts from wrong in relationship you can't feel happy ....Relationship in marriage without GOD's blessings is not working..and your boyfriend never loves you coz he can't wait untill you marriage..
---cristina on 10/23/05

I am getting the feeling that Dawn is feeling that her boyfriend isnt having sex any more now that he is allowed to, it was more exciting to him before he was permitted to, by living with Dawn..Now he sits on the sofa a couch potato..poor guy he is tired...
But neither of them should be living together they aren't married.
Regards Ron7949
---Ron on 10/23/05

It could be you were just a challenge to him. Now that the "challenge" is over, he wants to move on - without you. It could also be he is feeling guilty about the whole matter. You need to stop sleeping together, acknowledge you have done wrong, and change.
---WIVV on 10/22/05

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I am becky. I think that you should tell him about the way he is acting and tel him you might think its the best if you spend about a week from eachother and cool off.
---becky on 10/22/05

Marla has hit the nail on the head for why your bf is acting this way. My advice to you is to get back what satan has stolen from you. Seek God again, He is waiting for you. But know this, people become comfortable with other people and stop doing most of what they did before marriage.
---a_friend on 10/22/05

I am sorry to hear that you have moved in with your boyfriend. I am also sorry to hear that your relationship has turned for the worse. This is typical of such a relationship.

My suggestion is to move out, get pure, get right with God by confessing and repenting, and go back to church.
---Madison on 10/22/05

Do you know the Lord in your heart. Does he speak to you? If the answer is yes, then I would strongly urge you to seek him in prayer about this and do exactly what he tells you to do. You know he doesn't approve of a sex outside of marriage. If the Lord doesn't build the house they labor in vain and the house will not stand. I would say you are building upon the sandy soil and not the rock which is Jesus Christ our Lord.
---Jeff on 10/22/05

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I beg to you: stop all this wrong situation. it's not good for you, you are killing yourself, the lord Jesus will forgive you, but you have to stop it. your boyfriend really does not love you. please, remember all that the lord Jesus already didi it because of you, don't waste something that does not belong to you: your body, soul and spirit. beg to our King, He will help you, He loves you so much and He can forgive you and make everything new!!!
---rosin6449 on 10/22/05

The Father forgives past sins for Christ Jesus' sake. But what hope is there for those who continue in what they know is wrong. You made mistakes, stop! Beg for forgiveness and for righteous thoughts and deeds, without them no man will see GOD. Get out of your situation and do not get into it again. No sex before marriage, no excuses. And know someone for at least two years before consumating. The ways of the Lord are good and right and blessed is the man that walks in them (Gods amazing grace).
---brian4668 on 10/22/05

Whenever sex is introduced into a relationship before marriage, that relationship starts it's way to ruin. A good ministry that deals with relationships and would be beneficial if you realy want to marry your b/f would be Living on the Edge. You may want to check out Chip Ingram's book "Love, Sex, and Long Lasting Relationships." ISBN: 0801012546
---David7647 on 10/22/05

Maria ... waht you say is so true. It is also used as a reason for people living together before marriage, so they can see each other in the truer light before signing the paper!
Ther is a logic ... find out the worst about him before becoming committed.
OK in theory, but of course, that sleeping together produces a certain dependency, which means it is still difficult to break once you have found he is not so nice after all
---alan8869_of_UK on 10/22/05

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The Biblical instruction according to the law for 2 people who have slept with each other before marriage is that they get married and take responsibility for their decision.And the Father would be paid for the lose of the virginity of his daughter.And that they are unclean until evening and need to wash.Go talk with him, he is probably pondering about your future.Bro. John
---Bro._John on 10/22/05

You have answered your own question.

Like Dr. Larua would say. "You know the right thing to do. Do it."
---Bruce5656 on 10/22/05

Dawn, usually people act really nice, affectionate and loving when they meet someone they like and want to be with. When you moved in together he knew he HAD YOU so he could stop putting on the act so much and could just be himself. What you are seeing is the real man. This is the person you would be with forever if marrying him or living with him.
When God is the foundation in relationships they are much more loving and happier as well.
---Marla on 10/22/05

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