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Divorce For Poor Performance

Can you divorce your wife / husband if they were not great in bed? My friend says she wants out of her marriage because of this, I have never been married, so I don't know what to say!

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 ---Lily on 11/3/05
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Maybe she should look at herself and she what she is doing
---stuart on 11/30/08

That's not reason enough, I'm afraid - or so I think. There are all kinds of decent programs open to married couples to improve that aspect of their marriage/relationship.
---Chioma on 8/29/07

Divorce because one doesn't perform in bed the way their spouse desires, that's the lamest excuse I've ever heard of to date for a divorce.
---Thomas on 3/20/06

Yes, He does. Confess your sins and they shall be forgiven thee.
---Paula on 2/23/06

Thanks Barbara! This sounds like a young marriage. I have been married 22 years. The first 15 yrs. were spent trying to "get it right". I can honestly say that "LOVE" gets better with age. Speaking from experience, my advice to your friend Lily, is tell both of them the secrete of bedroom bliss is to get past their own pleasures, and consentrate on the "OTHER'S" needs!!!!!!!!!!!
---Fred_S. on 11/29/05

AMEN Fred! Husbands and wives need to be open with other and discuss what pleases them sexually. It should be pleasureable, CERTAINLY NOT a reason for divorce!
I've got one 'trained', I surely wouldn't want to start over with a new husband!
---NVBarbara on 11/28/05

The reason sex is great is because you truly love the person you are with. The antics are secondary.
---alan8869_of_UK on 11/28/05

Does she have some comparasons or assumsions? Us husbands' are trainable. We need to know what works and what don't. He may need some coaching!
---Fred_S. on 11/28/05

Conformity to the world is emnity to Echad/God!
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 11/9/05

No! There are only two reasons given for divorce and that's adultery and a non-christian who wants to leave a Christian. On the subject of sex and marriage, there are plenty of good Christian and secular books on the topic. (Not to mention marriage counselors.)She might start by communicating to her husband what she wants.
---WIVV on 11/5/05

i feel that you need to stay with your mate and seek some spritual married counseling
---Teisheka on 11/4/05

yikes!! she a guest on the Jerry Springer show or something???...
---Catha5879 on 11/4/05

If you are married to the person God has chosen for you then there wouldn't be this problem in the first place! Beauty fades and so does our performance in the bedroom, but emotional and spiritual intimacy does not!
Time to grow up sounds like.
---joe on 11/4/05

Try to get your friend to list the good things in their situation. The bedroom is an area that can be improved upon. Good husbands don't come trained, they need improvement in all areas when they first arrive. Remind your friend that the vows are for better of worse and this is a worse that can be fixed.
---Julie3763 on 11/4/05

Some do divorce because of this thinking that someone else will make them happier in the bedroom. Why take that chance when there's so much deceit because of these performance drugs now available to men to use. Maybe she/her husband needs to come up with a solution to their problem. It's both their problem. Sounds like she is only thinking of her own selfish desires and not her husbands' needs. Marriage should be a mutual blessing for both during the happy times and also during the difficult times.
---EJ on 11/4/05

I'm with Darlene on this one!
Although, it sounds as if she just wants out of the marriage. Really sad!
---NVBarbara on 11/3/05

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I echo the sentiment of many others. This woman is thinking about divorcing her husband because she doesn't love him, plain and simple. If it wasn't this reason it would be something else. Don't fall for her attempt to get sympathy and understanding from of you.
---ralph7477 on 11/3/05

No. If one could divorce because of this, the divorce rate would be ALOT higher than it is today!!
---Melissa on 11/3/05

Certainly not. She needs to talk to her husband and share with him what she needs in bed. He should share what he needs. Together they can make the bedroom a place of learning and exploration and exctiement.
---Madison on 11/3/05

I believe it's better if she consults the parents before making a terrible blunder she will never forget. There'll always be ways on how to solve it rather than divorce. Ask her. Does she really love this man? Did they ever talk about it together in the house? If not, i think it's high time they do so.
---Puta on 11/3/05

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I think it is just an excuse for some other problem. Divorcing over something like performance is wrong. If there is love and respect in this relationship they would figure out ways to make things right in bdrm.
Sex is not a firm foundation for marraige. They need to get on knees and pray and communicate what is in their heart and minds.
where there is God and a will there is always a way. I would say performance is just an excuse for some bigger issues in marraige or her heart.
---Marla on 11/3/05

Marraige is not about what happens in bdrm.
I was married for almost 10 yrs with no performance at all from her. She did not need to perform for me because was performing with many others. Perhaps she has had someone who performs better? This would make her angry when having to settle for less from husband. I think it would be a sin to divorce for this excuse but poerhaps there is a greater sin underneath the excuse
---Craig on 11/3/05

There is more to it than the performance. If she loved him the performance would not get in the way and they would find a way. Marraige is not based on sex. If this is what they base relationship then it would be very lonely marraige. she does not have respect and love for him if she is using performance as an excuse. You can divorce for any reason but, performance is a real stupid reason and I would think it would also be a sinnful reason. Perhaps she has someone else on mind she rather perform with?
---Shaz on 11/3/05

Sex is most likely not the only problem. Generally, when things are not good outside the bedroom, they are not good inside the bedroom either.
---anonymous on 11/3/05

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The committment she made to her marriage was not just to her husband. It was also made to the Lord. Quite often when a spouse wants out of a marriage, and begins finding excuses for it, they just want someone else. Many times they already have that new person picked out.
---Sally on 11/3/05

The Bible says that the only acceptable grounds for divorce is fornication. I believe extensive physical abuse should be another. But as for poor performance, that's just stupidity!
---joe on 11/3/05

Unless a person has a physical problem with performing sex,a spouse who isn't satisfied with love life is as much at fault as the one not pleasing partner.It's in their power and their responsibility to teach their spouse what's pleasing to them.They need to go to a Christian Sex Therpist who can give them instructions on getting more in touch with the emotional relationship to bring that into the physical relationship.There's also senstivity training which helps them relate better to each others needs.
---Darlene_1 on 11/3/05

i have never been in married,so i dont know what to said
---jonathan on 11/3/05

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That is so sad. So what happens, they move on and on to others because they are not satisfied? That is tragic and almost smacks of a lust spirit. Where does God fit in this marriage, He sanctified the marriage bed, this is a gift from Him for married folks. This is so sad and unfortunate. People get divorced now for so many stupid reasons, and this one is at the top of the list.
---anon on 11/3/05

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