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Married Man Found Dream Lady

Hello I am going through tuff times. Been married for 26 years and for the most of it not a happy one. I am 46 years old and 6 months ago met a 26 year old lady that is what I have always dreamed about. However I am a God fearing man. Please post pos. or neg comments
Kindest regards

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 ---RJ on 11/9/05
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It's called a temptation to adultery, RJ.
---Cluny on 1/3/11


I am a wife of a man's youth. I've been asking God to show me what is happening to me and my husband. Suddenly the answer came to me and it all made sense. Between the ages of 40-60 men/women experience midlife crisis. Perhaps your American Beauty is part of you experiencing a midlife crisis. Also, get more in touch with FEARing God, it may be the healthy dose of reality you need to awaken from your dreams. Last, get some help. Speak to a spiritual male over 40 who has been there and overcame. Also, Marriage Fitness by Mort Fortel may be helpful. The Kingdom can't afford another lost marriage. I'll pray that you choose to learn to love the wife of your youth, once the woman of your dreams.
---Renee_Hampton on 1/3/11


To have found a 'dream girl' you must have been looking, they just don't fall into your pocket. I have been married 25 years and stopped looking the instant I knew I was in love. You should have stopped looking 26 years ago.
If she would do anything to bring dishonor upon you and your marriage she is not a dream but a nightmare. Wake up, if she doesn't respect your present marriage she won't respect a marriage or relationship with her.
---Harold on 10/19/10


Joe: Your post is very interesting. For a male. I do agree that the adultery part is out. God is not pleased with that type behaviour. I refuse to live with someone who cannot give me what I need. I give 500% in my marriage and I will not be deprived of what I require. I refuse to stay in a loveless,sexless marriage. Just slaving and slaving and never getting anything in return.I would rather be single, separated,whatever. If you choose to do that,fine. I won't and can't. But a lot of prayer and trying to work things out comes first.
---Robyn on 10/15/10


RJ: I commented on your post two years ago. Here is another view: Have u tried to work things out with your wife?If it is not working ,leave the marriage and take a chance on the young thing. Even if it does not work out for you. You will have gotten rid of the ball and chain. You can run free. You could also choose to just remain single and have a lady friend. No marriage. No strings...nothing. Just saying. Learn to be creative with your life. I have been longtime married. I am now facing a similar situation. No man involved,yet. I am getting tired of the whole darn thing(marriage). Whatever you do...pray and seek the Lord also. I wish u well
---Robyn on 10/14/10




Hey, listen all of you who critisize the poor guy who is struggling now. It is so easy to blame him. Ofcourse we all know that this is a sin. But this brother of ours doesn't need all these stones that you threw at him. He knows he is a sinner - otherwise he wouldn't share his dilema with christian brothers. How about trying to understand the roots of his weekness? How about we try to find out more about his life. Maybe we will understand then. It is so easy to acuse him in adultery. Show him love, patience and understanding. Would you like to share details of your life my dear friend? I probably have a lot to talk to you. Let us know you better. Judging you is the last thing to do. The first - to give you comfort and help you find the truth.
---Brandon on 10/13/10


Run away from the other woman, 1Corinthians 6:13. Divorce yourself from your own fleshly nature, and start living the truth in Christ Jesus. If you do this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7, and she does this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6, this resolves the situation.
p.s. 1) Don't blog, get counseling from a mature Christian, Galatians 6:1-10, and submit to God. 2) Read Romans 6:6-7, Ephesians 4:17-32, Colossians 3:1-17! 3) Pray. 4) Be kind. 5) All, get saved and trust in Jesus Christ.
---Glenn on 6/6/09


I have been married a long time too and my sweetheart has changed a lot over the twenty plus years. She is abusive and was once a drug addict. She has really hurt me in many ways but I had to give that to God. You should never cheat against your marriage. If you are really unhappy with your wife then just focus on God. God is what life is really about, not your wife alone, or a love life, or any material goods, or anything on earth. Get involved in the church or get another job to use up the time with those idle hands. Dump the girlfriend, she is poison.
---Joe on 6/6/09


Well, kindest regards: Butt out. If you do not want more troubles.
---catherine on 12/2/08


Dear God-fearing man: Grow up and continue to work with your marriage. You are in a relationship and need to keep your eyes from wandering onto other women.It is a very easy thing to do when you are not happy or fulfilled within your marriage but you can work things out with your spouse. Ask the Lord to help you bring back the romance and love into your marriage. Begin to respect yourself and your wife by making her the center of your life.
This young lady is only 26 yrs old. You are way past your prime and are entering into a different phase of your life. If you go with this decision to leave your marriage. You will probably live to regret it.
She will tire of you sooner than you think
---Robyn on 11/29/08




Hi RJ
The key word here is dream. The figment of your imagination has finally materialzed and now you beleive you have met your dream woman. Cast down your imagination and work on keeping your real relationship with your wife together.
---pg1 on 11/26/08


as a "god fearing man" you honored God and your marriage until your dream lady arrived?

wasn't your wife your "dream lady"? or did you marry her because you had to ...now you want to go back in time to an age you missed because you're tired of playing house

...your darling 26yo isn't much of a dream if she knows your married and entertains you coming between you and your wife ...have you ever considered what kind of a women would do this? when 26yo tired of you she'll move on coming between another man and his wife ...those type of women usually do ...unhappiness takes two ...playing around with another women won't bring you happiness when you never focused on one you pledged your love to in marriage
---Rhonda on 11/24/08


Forget the 26 year old and get some marriage counseling. And stop looking for the girl of your dreams - instead, look at the one you've got.
---WIVV on 11/22/08


Men of God in the Old Testament had many wives, Like David. God didnt care 1Kings15:5. Paul says to be a man of God you can have just one. Titus1:6 You can pick which verses you like better.
---Yoshin on 8/11/07


I knew a good church going man who left his long time wife for another woman. He married his new wife, probably, hoping to spend the rest of his life with his new 'dream' wife. After about 2 years, the man kept having heart attacks and car accidents and finally died from it all. Some might say God doesn't work that way, but it sure seems ironic!
---quyann on 8/10/07


Happiness is up to you. No one can tell you what makes you happy or that you have to be in an unhappy relationship. Write down what makes you happy. You have to be truthful with yourself. Review list daily, think positively and the answer will come to you.
---Xavier on 8/9/07


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If you are a God-fearing man as you say, then what were you do even looking at another woman? Jesus says that to even look at another woman with lust is the same as having already committed adultery with her (Matthew 5:28). You need to repent immediately and stay with your wife.
---Helen_5378 on 5/8/07


You have been married for 26 years try to stay married 26 more years. Since you are a God-fearing man, learn to keep your mind on the Lord and all things pure, noble and of good report. Stop dreaming of other women and dream about your wife.You will be surprised, as to how she will appeal to you again and improve your marriage. Blessings
---Robyn on 5/7/07


Your dream girl will turn your life into a nightmare. Hope you wake up soon-------
---carol on 4/25/07


Dream Lady become big nightmare.
Dream Lady probably younger version of wife.
Dream Lady probably shops at Victoria's Secret.
Victoria's Secret will become public knowledge and when wife find out, she'll cut your credit cards all up, and you'll be living in a doghouse.
---StarsnEyes on 4/25/07


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Stay with your wife. This other lady sounds like a temptation from satan just to destroy your marriage. Remember, satan came to steal, kill and destroy. He is working hard to destroy marriages. My husband was tempted with someone he "thought was the one". He chased after her for months. It almost destroyed our marriage. We worked through it and have been married for 11 years now. Please don't fall into satan's trap. If you are having a troubled marriage, get Christian counceling.
---Melissa on 4/25/07


A quick story. An unknown lady visited our church one day, knelt at the altar to pray. Pastor knelt beside her and asked "Is there any thing I can help you pray about" She replied, "I am in love with a married man, but God has told me that he will leave his wife to be with me". Pastor, stunned, replies, "OH NO HE DIDN'T SISTER".

Don't let the flesh lie to you, you know the truth.
---mike on 1/18/06


You have a serious situation that only God and you can fix. Your desire for a younger woman is a distraction from the devil. A bibical marriage is suppose to be an example on who and what God is in your marriage. You said you are God fearing but look like you do not have enough of God's fear in your life to be involved with someone that not in your league. You are better than that. Act like it!!!
---Charlotte on 1/18/06


if you look for the negatives in your marriage, then all that you will find are negatives. Ask God to show you the blessings even small ones. watch out for the brambles that satin has hidden amoung the roses. above all PRAY. been there, almost. my wife died and now i am so lonely. she loved me and i loved her. gave it to God. "almost girlfriend" is nowhere to be found. does not want the extra baggage from my life. think about what you have and have not. what will you have in 20yrs, or NOT.
---doug5759 on 12/19/05


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How can you fear God and have lustful thoughts about another woman? It seems like that if you fear God then you would be afraid of even thinking of someone else. Are really willing to throw 26 years of your marriage for someone half your age? And chances are you'll not be happy. Cause a 26 year old is just starting her life, and you and half way through it. Just ask yourself, Is she worth losing everything you have?
---Rebecca_D on 12/18/05


Looks like Satan is trying to wreck your marriage.
---wes on 12/18/05


You have fallen for a 'perfect' girl who was just being born at the time you, as a 20 year old, were marrying your sweetheart. You ask for negative and positive comments. Are you serious or is this wind up? Do you really expect any positive ones? You say you are God fearing, well if you are you don't need comments from us because you know that even looking at this woman is adultery in God's eyes so STOP LOOKING and respect your wife.
---emg on 12/18/05


Here's an answer YOUR MARRIED! If you have kids, don't even dream of hurting them and leaving. Geesh, I get so sick of this mid-life crisis stuff. Hello??? How do you think your wife if feeling? Maybe she's tired of you???
---anonymous on 12/18/05


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She's Christian? Doubt it if she's a hubby stealer. And just how DID you manage to get to know her enough to decide she's "perfect"? Take the time you're using to ruin your marriage and invest it into working on your marriage. Marriage's a reflection of Christ's dedication to the Church. She's likely going to dump you for someone her age in the end. I saw a car in 2004, decided it was perfect, then I saw one in 2005; figured it was even better. The new 2006 model? She's the one.
---Jo_Anne on 12/4/05


Do you really think that she is your dream girl? I don't believe that! You are stuck on the image of your wife when you married her. She was young, and thats what you are looking fo so that you do not have to accept that you are aging! Believe me this has already happened to my dad! He left my mom who is 48 for a 32 yr old then left her for a 28 yr old and he is 51. He is just looking for youth!!
---Kellie on 11/18/05


I think you are bored with your marriage. Find interesting, adventurous and romantic things to do with your wife to rekindle the love/passion. Living with a person a whole 26 years inst a joke, there must've been something great about her that made you stick by her all this long.

Another thing, quit pointing out the unhappy times that you have had to justify your adulterous thoughts, rather dwell on the positive and happy moments that you have shared.
---Emma on 11/16/05


LOL! Your dream girl? I suggest you wake up and stop this nonsense dream! Think clearly, do you really wanna out of your marriage and WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU'LL BE HAPPY WITH THIS 26 YEAR OLD WOMAN?
---Lily9364 on 11/15/05


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Another thing sir..we don't want to be lover's of pleasure more than lover's of God. Doing what is right is not always a pleasure to us. In the long run it will pay off to keep God's commandments. Crucifying the flesh for the love of God and His' kingdom. Think of the soul of the 26yr old..the soul of your wife..the souls of your children(if you have any)..the souls of the lost around you witnessing you if you give in to this great temptation of your life! God will deliver you..call on Him!
---Cathi on 11/14/05


Listen sir..it is better not to have made a vow than to make one and break it. Being true to the vows we make sometimes brings tears to our hearts and eyes. One day in Heaven you will be rewarded for being true to your matrimonial vows u made..even if it causes you to be sad. I will pray for your marriage..God loves you. Stay true to Him and you will find true peace that passes all understanding.
---Cathi on 11/14/05


For they that are after the flesh do mind the things if the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. for to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.Some preachers are carnally minded and lustful, but if any man is spiritually minded he WILL have power over the flesh and over the mid life crazies! I have known many who were spiritually minded and thy did not have these problems. Preachers are human, nothing special! Same things apply to them!
---pat on 11/11/05


My Dear RJ
Please for Christ sake you have the power to turn this around,GOD gave us the wisdom and might to change,seek the face of GOD HE is eveready to help you. ACCRA,GHANA
---ISAAC on 11/11/05


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Greetings in Christ!
Brother RJ, You have received excellent councel here! Man don't forsake your relationship with your wife ~~ If you do, then when you realize that 'all that glitters is Not Gold', it will be to late. Fast, and Pray for HIS
plan, purpose and will to be done! Put Christ on the Throne of your Heart, and STAY clear of the 26yr.
old!!
---Mary_D on 11/10/05


When you married the wife of your youth this 'dream girl' was JUST coming into this world. She is not your dream girl , every person has flaws you just don't see them because you arent married to her. you are fantasizing. Stay with your wife or yo u will be committing a great sin against christ and your wife.
---BeckyH on 11/10/05


A man married for 26 unhappy years probably needs to learn how to make his wife *feel* loved. The heart of a woman is designed to follow after love. Learn what makes her feel (personally) loved and valued and you will likely find that you have been living with the woman of your dreams all along.

I recommend a God-fearing man purchase Gary Chapman's video (or book) "The Five Love Languages" (through the Internet or a Christian bookstore). It will make a difference in your marriage.
---DoryLory on 11/10/05


If you had to stand before God tomorrow, can you testify that you were such a righteous man, and your wife so morally bankrupt, that you are justified in terminating your marriage? Your thoughts have turned inward requiring "self" satisfaction. This circumstance is a time of testing because nothing happens by chance. Seek HIS counsel and HIS love to fill your needs because your Spirit man is extremely weak.
---Erin on 11/10/05


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RJ: and what about that 26 year old lady? Is she falling for you too? I mean, sometimes we get confused and start believing that "that girl" is the girl of our dreams, but then after a few dates we realize that it was just a mirage and we already had destroyed our marriage.
---Alex on 11/10/05


i'm sorry RJ no possitive coments possible here, as it is a very negative situation. If you were single i would honestly say stick to your own age group. but it looks as though you need to apprechiate your wife abit more, the bible says do not forsake the wife of your youth!by loving her you can make her your dream woman, forget and forsake the 26 year old; move jobs or church anything but back off!!! your forsake your wife you forsake christ! think about it. you too need to act your age!
---susanna on 11/10/05


Actually, Pat, whether a man is sold out for God or not has nothing to do with the "midlife crisis" you mentioned. Every man I've ever known between 40 and 50 has gone through it (this includes preachers I know).
---Heather on 11/10/05


Sounds like the "change of life" men tend to go through if they are not sold out to God when they get up a certain age. Fasting and prayer will bring the flesh under subjection! I feel sorry for your wife! If she werent your "dream girl" why did you marry her?
---pat on 11/10/05


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Satan always makes the grass look greener on the other side of the fence! Why did you marry your wife of 26 years? Sounds to me like you're just in a rut. Stay with your wife.
---Cathy_Y on 11/10/05


Have you ever read psychology books regarding men in their 40's? According to statistics men at this stage of their lives loves and like to be with younger women. Having met this woman, all the negatives regarding your wife came to the surface. If you are indeed a God fearing man, then take extra precaution. Start to analyze the motive of the woman. Analyze your own motives too. Be objective. Do not let desire color your analysis.
---Linda6546 on 11/10/05


How did you meet other women? If you are married how did you take time to get to know 26 yr old women? Did you meet and talk to her online?
If you took time out to get to know this 26 yr old women than you where in the wrong. As a married man you should have been faithful to wife not looking for other women. Being married means you do not stray to look for something better. You have promised in good and bad to stay with wife. You took vows in front of God. Find Christian councellor and save marraige
---Shaz on 11/10/05


If you fear God, then you will obey His Commandments. Is your wife unhappy as well? Perhaps you should get Christian intervention to save your 26 yr. marriage. Afterall, dreams are fine for the moment, but we all have to wake up and smell the coffee.God gives us free choice. But know the choices you make affect others, and your being obedient to God. Don't be ashamed of the choices you make today, when the time comes to meet our maker. Seek God with all your heart. He has all the answers.
---Gloria on 11/10/05


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iam 48 and a widow for 2 years now..iam looking for the love of my life ,,i have 4 kids all married and 5 grandkids..i live in texas with my dau. and sonnaw..love deborah
---deborah on 11/9/05


Oh grow up! You are old enough to be this "dreamwoman's" FATHER!! Remember the wife of your youth, and work on your relationship with her mister. You better be getting on your knees and doing some serious repenting, then stay out of this little girl's path.
---julie3763 on 11/9/05


RJ::Men of your age sometimes do have daughters of the same age as the lady you say you have dreamed off.The fruit of the the tree of forbidden fruit is dangling within your grasp.You will ruin 3 souls by your action.ONE Maybe 2 for all eternity .Just a reflection!!!!
---Emcee on 11/9/05


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