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High School Daughter Is Depressed

My 18 year old daughter is a senior in high school and depressed. Her peer pressure comes from teachers. Why don't you have a car? go to prom? go to 4 year college? etc... We don't have the extra to do such. Suggestions?

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 ---Cathy_Y on 11/14/05
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Cathy,
I am so sorry to hear that your daughter's teachers are making her feel this way. Obviously they lack sensitivity and maturity.
Defend your personal beliefs and have parent teacher conferences with them so that they understand that their role in your daughter's life is only one of education, not as a social coach. I would also when you have the pt conferences include the principal and have a secretary take notes. God said that we are to be peacemakers..not peacekeepers..God bless.
Nancy
---nancy on 10/13/07


Cathy_y does your daughter not go to the prom, becasue of a money issue, or is it because of a Spirituall issue?
---bethie on 11/20/05


I teach inner city kids. They and their parents must take public transportation.

It is clear that your daughter is concerned about having and doing things that other do. Her identity needs to be in Christ and what He says about her. If she truly believes what God says about her and who He is to her, other people's opinions won't matter.

My daughter was so solid in her relationship with Christ, she didn't care what others thought of her material situation.
---Madison on 11/16/05


Madison, Considering the majority of young people have or do these things, they ask "Why?" because they don't understand why she doesn't have these things. A teacher tried to set her up on a date to the prom with someone she didn't even know. I see this as totally dangerous and unacceptable. They see it as normal.
---Cathy_Y on 11/16/05


Tell your daughter to forgive the ignorance of these people and to pray for God to show them the wrongs and the pain they cause others with their remarks. My forgiving them, she'll feel better. In high school, I didn't have a car, didn't go to the prom, didn't go to college either and I'm fine today. I have Jesus and car, but don't want the prom and I have a good job. But having Jesus is the best thing of all.
---Nellah on 11/16/05




My kids never had a car in high school, but we did apply for financial aid for them to be able to go to college. They worked in high school to pay for things like proms and stuff.
---Madison on 11/16/05


Madison,I have been where this girl is, and my children have been there. It is something this girl ask her self I'm sure a lot. And for others to ask her that can depress her and embarrass her too.
---a_friend on 11/16/05


If the question starts with "Why" how is that pressure? That sounds like they are trying to learn about your daughter, not tell her what to do. I ask my students "why" a lot.
---Madison on 11/16/05


Even though your daughter is 18 she still needs your help and protection. Go to the school and talk with these teachers. Find out exactly what is going on and also let the teachers know how your daughter is feeling.
Sitting back and letting this go on will only make things worse.
Our kids NEED to know that we are listening to them and hearing what they are saying and doing something to help them.
---Marla on 11/16/05


My children never had these things either, I don't believe the teachers ever said anything like that to them, but if they had I would have been there in a New York Second to put a stop to it. Anyway what I want to tell you is, my daughter is 32 and just started going to college and with out pell grants and student loans, she would not be able to go. Tell your daughter to perk up and not let this get to her, she will make it. And she don't have to wait till she is 32, she can apply for this now.
---a_friend on 11/16/05




Yes...shedule a time to talk to these teachers and inform them of the pressure these questions seem to pose on your daughter & ask them to STOP! Not every student drives a car, or goes to the prom. The college question...most teachers want their students to have bright futures. If finances are an issue, the majority of most on campuses go through applying for a PELL Grant. Best wishes to her and may God bless your family!
---caroa6864 on 11/14/05


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