I remember growing up and in my friends kitchen watching her talking back to her mother using slightly colorful language and wondering if I was dreaming or something and actually thinking Wow where would my jawbone be hanging if I dared to as much as say darn never mind what this little girl called her mum.
My How times have changed! I still thank my dad not for the abuse but for the discipline and manners he taught us, we were angels looking back at what my friends used to get away with.
Was it because he was so strict I'd say so! |
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---Carla3939 on 11/30/08 |
, i have to wonder if the male-oriented verses in proverbs and today's bias against males both cause boys to be spanked much more often than girls. i hear a lot of girls say their dads never spanked them. |
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---steve on 11/29/08 |
No matter what the child has done, never, ever spank him/her in anger. Because then it becomes abuse. I know one time I smacked my son and left my handprint. Never again, did I do that. I cried the rest of the day and all night. I have found out that if you get eye level with your child and talk in a softly manner, things go so smooth. I do less spanking and take away their favorite toys, or put their nose on a magnet on the fridge. They hate that. |
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---Rebecca_D on 6/21/07 |
Spanking shows a strong lack of patience. Corporal punishment should only be used as a last resort. Just because you are bigger than the poor kid! |
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---catherine on 6/21/07 |
Personally, spanking is not always the most effective thing. My kids have responded better to things like missing a favorite show or outing, losing bicycle privileges, etc. They would have much rather had a quick punishment with a spanking, which is why I didn't do it much. And make the punishment fit the crime. One son lost bike privileges after riding farther from home than he was allowed. |
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---Annie on 6/21/07 |
When it comes to disciplining your children, make the punishment suit the crime. Your teenager breaks the telephone curfew? Remove the phone from that teen's room for a period of time until they earn back the privilege. Your 2-yo son runs into the street after you have repeatedly told him to stay in the yard. It would be appropriate to warm his buns (spank him) because a 2-yo is not able to understand fully the danger, but they will understand the unpleasant outcome should they do it again. |
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---Criss on 4/18/06 |
aSteve .. are you able to supply the source of your information? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 1/14/06 |
, trivia question. where is the crime rate worse, in sweden, or in our own inner cities? wrong! the answer is sweden. i wonder why? maybe because they outlawed spanking in 1979? |
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---steve on 1/14/06 |
Spanking is illegal in most parts of the world and should be so here too. The only thing you teach your children by hitting them is that you are incapable of reasoning with them. You, as an adult, should know better! |
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---allen_gardner on 1/10/06 |
Bethie, I think these parents need to be spanked. |
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---Elder on 1/1/06 |
A little off topic but I hope it's ok, we have a family at church, who punish their children by keeping them home from sunday school or children's church. What do you think of that? |
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---bethie on 12/31/05 |
Spanking is really not neccessary IF more correct measures are taken. For example: if a child breaks a vase, it's better to take a percent of the childs allowence until the vase is paid for. In some circumstances, especially if you are dealing with a toddler, just explaining to the child the consequences of an action will often times do the trick. Sending a child to their room is good, (providing all the un-needed items, such as a TV, are removed). Grounding a teenager works wonders,too. |
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---WIVV on 12/26/05 |
If you are a Spirit filled Born Again christian, you will spank, never out of anger. Ask God for wisdom..Be very cautious. There is a government agency out there who come to kill, steal and destroy, they hate true Christians. God has given us these little ones. They are to be trained in His ways. Treat each issue with Godly knowledge. Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing. |
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---Lynn_Bedford77 on 12/26/05 |
Steve: Your victim mentality is very typical of someone who is alcoholic. I have not seen Elder communicate any hostility toward you. He has offered to help you with your drinking problem in private, and you refuse to e-mail him and tell him to post it on the blogs. When he asked you direct questions about your thinking, you became hostile. I would ask someone who is drinking excessively, and verbally abusing people the very same questions. Unfortunately, you are stuck on the pity pot. |
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---Madison on 12/6/05 |
Steve how is it that you want everyone to "stick" to the subject at hand but you don't? Do you feel that you can mislead people and cause confusion and then go on your merry way. I am not the only one who has called you down but I am the only one you have singled out.
Cond #2--> |
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---Elder on 12/6/05 |
Cond #2-->
We all, including ChristiaNet, have asked to help you, but you reject it. Do you realize that if ChristiaNet was not long suffering you would not even be here? Do you care?
When you get called down you write good for a while then go back to your old stuff. I for one am getting tired of your cover-ups and foolishness. |
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---Elder on 12/6/05 |
Ashley, I agree on the post Patra9397 11/23/05. It not only depends on the child, but what the child did. First you should give the rules of the home. If the child breaks the rules, then a spanking is a good way to show there are consequenses for our actions. Tell them why it is wrong.
Proverbs 13:24 \ 22:6 \ 23:13,14 \ 29:15 |
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---Ulrika on 12/6/05 |
, everyone, we need to stick to the subjuct of each blog. and elder, your attitude of hostility against me is way out of line. you owe me an apology, and let's remember that this is a CHRISTIAN site. |
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---steve on 12/6/05 |
As of this post there are 23 answers to Ashly concerning her question and 49 dealing with and from Steve to clearify the right way to deal with her question because Steve has muddied the waters so much. It is time, Steve, for your foolishness, on every blog, to stop. |
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---Elder on 12/6/05 |
Yes Madison, I saw that, but I feel that Steve is such a wind-up merchant (hope you understand that phrase) that I take most of what he says with a very large pinch of salt now. If he truly does have a drink problem I trust that he is getting or seeking help but I'm not at all sure on this one or on most of his comments actually. He seems to know exactly what gets each of us mad and we oblige with our answers. I guess he feels quite pleased with himself after each session on C.N. |
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---M.P. on 12/6/05 |
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M.P. Somewhere in one of his posts, Steve said he had an alcohol problem. I believe his nine drinks were alcohol and that Steve has an alcohol problem. |
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---Madison on 12/6/05 |
I personally think that Steve has more spare time than the average person and this gives him time to think up all the crazy comments that he gives us. I still think that his 9 drinks were coffee, pepsi and water (or similar). I have more than 9 drinks a day but am a total abstainer. One way of dealing with Steve could be to just not respond at all but I suppose he would then sign on with a 4th or 5th name and start all over again. |
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---M.P. on 12/6/05 |
Dear Steve, You must come under authority of the Blog moderator. If you persist in drinking as you are, you are only hurting yourself, but WHAT you do is important because this Blog is a testimony to those seeking "the way, the truth and the life" in Christ Jesus. Those who are in charge of this Blog are obligated to stop behavior that is not in keeping with Scriptures. I am praying for you Steve. God loves you and so do we! |
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---Elsie on 12/5/05 |
Many of the blogs are disrupted and side tracted by Steve's remarks? It reminds me of a misbehaving child in class.
How can we believe what he says? Is this helping others come to know about Christ and how Christ wants us to live?
Does it glorify God to have these conficts? Could it be avoided if we did not allow ourselves to be taken in by outrageous remarks? This I need to work on. Do responses always,sometimes,or never show the fruit of the Spirit? Galatians 5:22,23 |
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---Ulrika on 12/5/05 |
Steve #2. Please do us all a favor and stop the drinking and stop the argumentative posts. You shared in one post that you want to be more like Christ. Christ brought peace to people's hearts. |
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---Madison on 12/5/05 |
Steve: You say "i am just like everyone else,", but I disagree with you 100%. Everyone else here is not coming to the blogs after drinking 9 drinks and provoking arguments. Everyone else here is not making. You are the only one who has done those things lately. You were challenged to get help for your drinking and have not shared that you even care to get help for yourself for that problem. |
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---Madison on 12/5/05 |
# 2 Neither Steve do I know whether to believe you actually meant this "i have been provoking arguments with outrageous comments. i am sorry, and i know it is sin and i will never do it again" Maybe you did mean it, but you have broken your word ... because you have been at it again. |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/5/05 |
Steve #1 .. You say you are "just like everyone else" but not all of have been "banned (from the penpal section) for obvious reasons" And we still do not know whether to beleive you when you say "i know i need to change and stop my alcoholism. people around me are starting to notice how much i drink" and "i have had nine drinks today. i ask you all to forgive me. i need to live like Jesus lived. i am really sorry" |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/5/05 |
, okay, elder, i honestly think you do have a problem. you need to humble yourself and see that i am just like everyone else, but i tend to clash with your views sometimes. that doesn't mean we can't be friends. |
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---steve on 12/5/05 |
John I am not against Steve either. He has talents and has been involved with things that could benefit others.
He must come out of the darkness to be help in the light.
I wanted to deal with him on the penpal site so he could vent, holler or just confide in me to help him.
ChristiaNet said they would reinstate his account.
Everyone wants to give him a second chance. He doesn't want it.
His own statements and actions show how much he needs help.
Just continue to pray for him. |
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---Elder on 12/4/05 |
Elder, these are very good points. I wonder if he will answer them honestly and most of all be honest with himself and God. He should know that we are not against him but are praying for him to let God help him and deliver him. There are various reasons why a person drinks and a lot of times it's to cover up some pain in their' lives. It's not too late! |
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---John on 12/4/05 |
OK Steve, Let's deal with the PenPal account.
Why would ChristiaNet cancel you? Was it because of an attitude of anger on your part or what.
Next what kind of drinks were you involved with and why?
Why do you think people respond to you like they do here?
Have you been at fault in any of these areas?
Do you want to change or are you all right where you are?
What are you willing to do about these issues? |
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---Elder on 12/3/05 |
, elder, there is nothing you should want to say to me that you don't want others to see. whatever you need to teach, do it out in the open so we can all benefit. |
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---steve on 12/3/05 |
As long as your not punishing them out of anger, make sure your "cool" enough to punish them w/out overdoing it.. |
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---angie on 12/2/05 |
As of this date Steve has choose to not write me.
Some people like where they are at and don't want to change for the Lord. |
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---Elder on 12/2/05 |
Now that we have all expressed our views and rebuked Steve on many occasions (because he did need it) let's band together and agree to pray for him.
Let's pray that God will put a "Forum Family" member on each of our hearts daily to pray for.
Let's start a blog for it.
May God Bless us all. |
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---Elder on 11/30/05 |
Steve, notice what the Moderator said, "Yes, we would restore the account" (11/29/05).
God's Spirit knits together and works in His people.
Everyone here is concerned about your Spiritual well being except you.
When you find God's place for you, you will not have to seek other things to feel important.
We love you but not your foolishness.
I will post if you write me to show your sincerity.
You have not accepted the offer yet.
Do you enjoy your life as it is? |
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---Elder on 11/30/05 |
I don't think that I ever spanked my 15 year old. I didn't have to, he's always been a good boy. On the other hand if he wasn't a good boy and did some very bad things I would have had to. The bible says so. Read proverbs. There is one sure way to tell if your God's son or daughter. That is if He chastises you when you really get out of hand. This only means that He loves you so you won't die in your sins, that's all. God is good! |
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---Peter on 11/29/05 |
Steve:I have just given a statement in the other blog regarding you being "an interesting personality that needs attention". Now, here again, you drop some info regarding your person. A sisterly advice: seek immediate HELP! |
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---Linda6546 on 11/29/05 |
Steve: I attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings regularly, and I have not had a drink of alcohol since September 26, 2001. If you are seriously interested in getting rid of the alcohol problem you have, I strongly urge you to get to an AA meeting. If you aren't serious about stopping, please refrain from posting your nonsensical stuff here. |
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---Madison on 11/29/05 |
Well, Steve put your concerns down here in plain view. I was trying to be private for you. I will answer your concerns. I will even write to the President of CN and ask him to restore your account for one day so you can get my e-mail address and we will talk that way. Now you have two choices, since your excuses are gone, either do it or don't.
What you need is Reality Therapy and that is the way I will deal with you. The next move is up to you. By the way, CN staff reads these blogs also.
Moderator - Yes, we would restore the account. |
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---Elder on 11/29/05 |
Does Steve need a spanking? |
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---Pete on 11/29/05 |
, barb, i cannot use the penpal option because i was banned from it for obvious reasons. i know i need to change and stop my alcoholism. people around me are starting to notice how much i drink. |
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---steve on 11/29/05 |
I don't see the purpose of wanting to cause strife, its annoying and serves no purpose. Get real Steve, or whoever you are this week. |
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---NVBarbara on 11/29/05 |
| Read These Insightful Articles About Education
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Barbara, I think Steve is saying that he has had 4 coffees, 2 Pepsis and 3 glasses of water. Getting people to respond to many of his 'off' comments has become an art form to Steve.
Moderator - Exactly |
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---M.P. on 11/29/05 |
I was physically, and sexually abused, as a young boy. The teachers bullied me and my next door neighhbour introduced me to gay sex at 7. Do I find Steve's comments upsetting? Not at all, I find the desire to shut him down more damaging, as it implies control of free speach.
I watch parents scream at their children, foul language and abuse, and I believe that this is more damaging then a parental spank. |
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---mike6553 on 11/29/05 |
Alan Thank you for your confidence and complement. |
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---Elder on 11/29/05 |
What do you mean that you've had nine drinks today Steve? Are you an alcoholic? Don't come on here just to give lame remarks. If you need help, as Elder said we are here for you. My penpal is 'barba7434' if you care to talk seriously. |
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---NVBarbara on 11/28/05 |
Steve ... I very often disagree with soem of Elder's views, and this has on occasion led us to write privately to each other, and we understand each other much better now.
Elder really is a very kind gentle and Godly man. I do think that if you write to him as he has invited, he will be able to help you |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 11/28/05 |
We would likely have fewer problems with discipline in our public schools if the "board" of education was more frequently applied to the "seat" of the problems.
Corporal punishment has a long and effective track history in western countries.
Dr. Spock did not have much success in managing family. |
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---Phil_the_Elder on 11/27/05 |
When striking a child many adults use excessive force (from unleashed anger or ignorance), damaging the child, rather than teaching them why to be obedient. Many parents have broken their childrens bones, tore corneas from their eyes and shook the brain loose from their skull by shaking, there are bruisings, hemorraging, twist fractures, beltings, burnings, ostracizings, starvations, public humiliation, etc.- All wrong measures. Parents think twice before raising a hand or any implement against a child. |
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---Eloy on 11/27/05 |
Steve believe it or not we want you on the "Team." We are only as strong as our brother or sister in need.
I speak for many here when I say we want to strengthen each other. My time and service is available to you at elder2291 if you want to write me. I will help you any way I can.
We will be praying for you. God Bless you. |
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---Elder on 11/27/05 |
Steve: Do you have any idea what kind of damage you are doing to the victims of abuse with your outragous comments. You are just as bad as the parents and husbands who abuse their children and wives. You are guilty of verbal abuse and I am wondering how you can call yourself a Christian. You have some serious issues if you think you are having fun at the expense of other people who suffer. |
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---Madison on 11/26/05 |
, i have had nine drinks today. i ask you all to forgive me. i need to live like Jesus lived. i am really sorry. |
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---steve on 11/26/05 |
, barb, the moderator is right. i have been provoking arguments with outrageous comments. i am sorry, and i know it is sin and i will never do it again. |
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---steve on 11/26/05 |
Sometimes you can sit down and reason with a child instead. I have and it worked with my son. You should try and not spank a child in front of many people because it can shame a child. But if there is no privacy and no choice and good reason, you may have to. |
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---Sandra on 11/26/05 |
I do not think Steve is funny at all. His remarks are verbally abusive to victims of abuse, and I think it is sadistic for him to be posting such unkind, unloving remarks about any abuse, Child or Spousal. |
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---Madison on 11/26/05 |
I have noticed that Steve has went by the name of Steve, Curt, James and now Syl. Watch closely and you will see.
Cond #2--> |
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---Elder on 11/26/05 |
Cond #2-->
I think Steve is a dissembler and very serious in his statements. They cause confusion, contain mistruths and many times a hateful attidue.
As I said to him on another blog he doesn't try to fit in.
So who is he ministering to?
I take him serious because someone else may. That is why I correct his misstatements so often. The Truth is nothing to be played around with as to make someone else not believe.
He is not helping, he needs help.
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---Elder on 11/26/05 |
I don't think that Steve is joking at all. I think he deliberately stirs up controversy then sits back and enjoys the results of his mischief making. |
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---emg on 11/26/05 |
No Moderator I haven't noticed that. When he first came on as "Curt" them "James" and now "Steve", he seemed then and now to have a LARGE chip on his shoulder. I think he's as serious as a heart attack, nothing funny about his blogs.
Moderator - I think he is baiting and teasing around alot and that he isn't really being serious most of the time, but people are taking him very serious which is alot of fun for him IMHO. |
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---NVBarbara on 11/23/05 |
God made us each unique and we do not all respond to anything in the same manner. Some children need a spanking and other don't. Just depends on their personality. One thing to be perfectly clear on though is NEVER spank in anger and ALWAYS be sure to explain why the spanking occurred and follow up by telling them you love them and do not want the behaviour to happen again. |
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---Patra9397 on 11/23/05 |
Steve, you are single and presumably have no children, WHO'S kids are you slapping around? I understand from an earlier blog that you were abused as a child. I think you should stay away from children!
Moderator - Am I the only one that has caught on that Steve is half joking most of the time? |
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---NVBarbara on 11/23/05 |
I only had to give a little 'swat' on the bum to get my kids attention,(when they were small) then we'd talk.
I had a paddle hanging on the wall inscribed with "Board of Education" on it. It served as a quiet reminder, I don't remember ever having to use it. At 14 my son was 6'2". The thoughts of putting him over my lap and spanking him are laughable! I raised him and 4 step-children for many years. Punishment of no phone privledges, no tv and extra chores seemed to work just fine. |
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---NVBarbara on 11/23/05 |
Steve ... what a lovely guy you must be to have around.
Do you by any chance enjoy spanking? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 11/22/05 |
, it is amazing how merely taking the wooden spoon out of the drawer seems to make kids such good listeners to whatever you have to say. |
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---steve on 11/22/05 |
OK, I'll try and make it simpler for the anti brigade.
Tell me how wonderful a paradise Sweden is. After all, you tell me that spanking breeds violence, so Sweden must be a paradise, they abolished spanking and corporal punishment 20 years ago. So, come and tel me how great a success Sweden is. |
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---mike6533 on 11/22/05 |
I fathered six children. Not once did I hit them in a negative manner. My youngest is 21 now, in love with Jesus, just like the rest of his siblings. Some people think that God is physically abusive towards His kids, so that is the way they treat their kids. Jesus said that if a person was to harm one of the little ones, that it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck, than to meet God over it? Quit hurting each other, and teaching our kids to do the same! |
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---matth9533 on 11/22/05 |
Wow...why doesn't that surprise us all Steve?? |
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---coroa6864 on 11/21/05 |
, becky, fifteen is not inappropriate. i once slapped a teen very lightly on her face for refusing to stop cursing. |
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---steve on 11/21/05 |
, it is obvious that many people today do not know what a spanking is. one or two casual slaps is not a spanking, just as a bite-size candy bar is not a thanksgiving meal. |
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---steve on 11/21/05 |
# 2 As they grew up, reassoning was needed and any punishment was by witholding.
Spanking is abusive and degrading to both spanker and victim. Maybe inadequate and bullying parents need to spank to maintain their sense of power. |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 11/20/05 |
# 1 I have to disagree with Steve. I have 4 daughters ... Whilst they were still toddlers, until they were about 2 years, if they misbehaved, they were given one slap on the thigh ... not very hard, just enough to hurt for a moment. They quickly learnt that disobedience brought pain, and only a few slaps were needed before "No" was enough to stop them being naughty |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 11/20/05 |
15? A father spanking his 15 year old daughter sounds HIGHLY innapropriate to me. I say stop at 5, 6 IF you are going to do it.( If only for consistency in methods , once children are in school teachers won't be taking that liberty) I also noticed no one responded to my query regarding the scripture which tells us to 'pluck out our eye if it causes us to sin" - how does one decide which verses to take literally and which to not? The ones that are convenient? |
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---BeckyH on 11/20/05 |
I`m still waiting for an answer, how do you stop a 3 year old by logic? |
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---mike6553 on 11/20/05 |
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