Sin To Live Together
Is it sin if a couple lives together outside of marriage, IF they are having absolutely NO sexual relationship? Please show me biblically and not just your opinion. I don't mean any disrespect, but there are so many opinions out there, and I want bible references so I can know truth.
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---kevin on 12/7/05
Helpful Blog Vote (44)
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Patricia--
And how do you know that someone is committed to you?.... Because he or she says so? Will they say the same tomorrow? Next month? Next year? Will it change if you gain some weight or another "cute" person comes along. Will it change if there is a baby? ...or if you get sick and need long expensive treatment or are too ill to satify their desires?
Someone who is truly committed doesn't mind signing a legally recognized contract saying so. |
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---Donna66 on 10/7/09 |
Patricia, stop this!!! it is disgusting please!!
any way.... continue it for the pack of you who love to do things your way
for some of us we take 'LORD and Saviour' seriously
Lord means someone we ought to obey
you can stop being a christian so that you can make your own rules and obey them
i guess you prefer to do it your way because as far as you are concerned, doing it God's way gives rotten marriage right? |
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---pat on 10/4/09 |
Get it people. A paper filed at the courthouse does not make a marriage. It about committment. God honors committment. Sorry if i stepped on a few toes. This couple is committed and strong. Stop condeming them. Some of you who are doing this have rotten marriages (filed at the couthouse). Check youself! My best wishes to this couple... |
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---Patricia on 9/28/09 |
i find it difficult answering such fundamental blog questions
you know why?
it's because i know that we all know what is right when it comes to things like this... even the heathen know it
go ahead and please yourself... paul says we must move on from the fundamentals that it is time to chew meat but we are still taking in milk
Flee is what we are told to do ... not carry fire in our bossom and say we will not be burnt
that brings me to the question...do you believe that couples living together are not inviting sin which they should flee from? |
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---pat on 7/31/09 |
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How about "lead us not into temptation"? |
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---Dave on 7/26/09 |
Carla3939,
1 Thess 5:22: "Abstain from all appearance of evil." Maybe that one. |
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---Nana on 4/24/09 |
If a meat causes another brother to stumble to not eat of it. 1Cor 8:13. Don't put yourself in a compromising situation with the opposite gender. Seriously, Why do people look for the line to cross. If you're looking for the line, there's a good chance you've already crossed it. It's because of the acceptance of these gray areas that the church has been powerless. In the garden of Eden, the serpent used GOD's own words to bring confusion to the truth. Remember, we are suppose to be SET APART! Please so don't act like the world does. |
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---david on 4/23/09 |
yes it is a sin to live together why do you think god created marriage between a man and a woman. |
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---gene on 12/31/08 |
Shun the very appearance of sin I can't find it in the bible I'm sure it's in there tho, however living with someone is not recommended if you are emotionally involved.
It's a matter of decency not to live with a woman until you are married suppose you mess up? that woman could have been a decent mans wife but you thinking you were better than christian sober advice Messed her up!
Just think of it that way, I wouldn't want you messing up my daughter or anyone elses for that matter, be bigger than that LIVE ELSE WHERE! |
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---Carla3939 on 12/30/08 |
Reading all of Ephesians 5 puts living with another person (i.e. giving the appearance of sin) on the same level as cursing, being greedy or "foolish talk". As long as there is no sex, cohabitation is no more a sin than telling a joke.
Ephesians 5
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for Gods holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. |
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---Nate on 12/29/08 |
The Bible says to abstain from all the appearances of evil. This kind of living arrangements would have both Christian & Non-Christians thinking & believing there is a sexual relationship and the Bible says if it offends my brother, then don't do it.
Get born-again and you will make the right decisions |
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---Jerry on 12/28/08 |
Its not a sin to live together as long as there is no sneaking around.The sin comes into play because we are suppose to avoid the appearance of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 and Ephesians 5:3. Unfortanently people assume when a man and a woman live together there is more and thats where the appearance of sin takes place. hope this answered your question. |
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---heather on 12/17/08 |
a wise mother told her son this and when he became a man he told me this very wise statement," if you have to ask yourself if something is wrong it probably is and you should not do it." |
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---Soaks on 11/23/08 |
A Bible answer to the blog is "Abstain from all appearance of evil" in I Thessalonians chapter 5, verse 22. |
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---theresa on 9/8/08 |
The first bible reference I can think of is Genesis 2:24 that says "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". Second lets looks at Jesus Parents. Joseph went to Mary's father and asked for Mary's hand in marriage. He said Yes. But remember jewish customs were a 1 or 2 years courtship before marriage, which meant, no living together, kissing, hugging, ect... that was all saved for the wedding day. So the question is, Are you married? No? then you should not live together. Go by God's standards not the worlds or even your own. |
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---steve on 9/8/08 |
Kevin, there's times when a person has to move in with someone for lack of living space. For the moment that would be considered ok, but move out as soon as it's possible.
If you are living together and as you say not having sexual relations, you have opened the door to the enemy and tempting the women. You might be able to contain yourself but maybe she cannot.
The passage that Nicole gave continues with Verse 14, which means if a believer is convinced a certain behavior is sin-even if his assesment is wrong, he should never do it, if he does, he will violate his conscience, experiencing guilt (1 Cor. 8:4-7, 2:15) and perhaps be driven back into deeper legalism instead of moving toward freedom, verse 5. |
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---Mark_V. on 9/7/08 |
Please show me biblically and not just your opinion. I don't mean any disrespect, but there are so many opinions out there, and I want bible references so I can know truth.-Kevin.
The Bible says we should avoid the APPEARANCE of evil. In the situation you propose, for sure people would gossip. Maybe you would not cause other couples to stumble or maybe you would.--obewan 9/5
Obewan is correct.
He just left out the Scripture support of his answer
He is quoting from Romans 14:13-23.
If you questioned other people who know you, do you truly think they believe you when you say you are not having sex?
They don't.
I don't even have a boyfriend.
People don't believe me, when I tell them I am not having sex! |
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---Nicole on 9/5/08 |
I will not hash out the scriptures that everyone else has quoted. If you are still living together, no scripture will change your heart. Only God will.
My question is why live together? We know what the man gets out of it but what does the women get out of it? The hope that the man will eventually marry her? That she will be loved and cherished? Her children will have a name and future?
If you are serious enough to live together or have the appearance of being a couple why not get married?
This is the way the world does it. We are not of the world.
If you, he or both of you are not willing to get married what good can possibly come from this?
Maybe some stories from others would help in this case. Anyone? |
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---Susan on 9/5/08 |
The Bible says we should avoid the APPEARANCE of evil. In the situation you propose, for sure people would gossip. Maybe you would not cause other couples to stumble or maybe you would. If you are romantically involved it would be hard to expect other people to believe you are not sleeping together if you are living together. That is just the way people are. Especially the non-Christians would gossip and have a hey day with it. Heck, when I used to go on Church retreats, my non-Christian friends would mock me and could not believe the single people were not sneaking off in the night for "hanky panky" as they used to put it. |
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---obewan on 9/5/08 |
Its a simple answer but a difficult solution. The sin is pre-marital sex, thats it. So to answer your question ... NO it is not a sin. However,Spiritually, moving in is playing with fire, and the flesh is very weak. Living together is very steep slippery slope of temptation. I would advise not to do it. You'll have less stress and be able to build a better relationship |
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---Kevin on 9/5/08 |
Any man who proposes living together before marriage is not of good character. Even if he does not end up sleeping with her, he has destroyed the woman's reputation forever. The very fact that a man would propose it, proves that he is no Christian, just a lip service man....just a show Christian. How easy it is to be led astray. It is easy to spot fake Christians by such methods. As for a woman suggesting it. She is just a harlot like the one frequently mentioned in Proverbs. Just because she moves out of her house does not make it less of a sin. It is still prostitution. |
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---frances008 on 7/23/08 |
The biblical answer is "Avoid all appearances of evil." Sometimes we are not doing something bad but it appears to be something bad and so all sorts of bad things come out of it. For example, you'll have your whole church and neighborhood whispering at ALL times. This makes a Christian brother/sister fall. Sigh. It's a long tough road, I know. |
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---kate on 7/23/08 |
I saw your question above. I am struggling with the very same answer. We are not,nor,tempted to violate God's law by having any form of sexual contact. We have been in the same house in seperate bedrooms for a year. We are engaged. The bible is not that clear on this. What have you concluded? |
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---Greg on 7/8/08 |
In this pretend marriage is it a sin to pretend to with hold your self from each other? There are no scriptures to give you for an unscriptural relationship. If your tempting yourself and your non-lover IS that sin? and it would be a constant temptation for a normal couple - if you fall into another category then just get some counselling - you guys need it. |
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---Andrea on 8/7/07 |
You are really fooling yourself if you think you can live with somebody you love and not have a sexual relationship. If you are not now, you soon will. You are living in temptation. Repent and move out. God is not mocked. |
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---Helen_5378 on 8/7/07 |
Why don't you just get married? Just go down to city hall and do it. Then have the ceremony later. I, and lots of others did it this way. But if you can live with someone and not have a tough time keeping your hands (and other parts) off of them, then I think you're lacking physical attraction in the relationship and you need to marry someone else. You really have to want to take off your spouse's clothes, or marriage just isn't going to work well. |
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---Bryan_Shaw on 8/6/07 |
"...Let not your good be evil spoken of....". "..can [anyone] take fire into their bosom and not be burned ..."? "there's a way that seems right to man, but the end thereof are the ways of death".
I can't see myself or any other [spirit filled man]in that situation. God does understand! |
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---bob_[Elishama]_4679 on 8/3/07 |
Get Married! The Devil is very tricky. Temptation is very strong and before you know it, you will fall into the sin of fornication. It is best to get married to avoid any temptation.
The Bible said that the body (ie., Flesh) is very weak, while the Spirit is strong! |
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---Ramon on 7/30/07 |
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Kevin:: you want truth?The only biblical reference is within yourself.ask your self why what is your reason?,is it necessary? what would Jesus say?.Only the truth will answer your question which is within you & what you are contemplating. |
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---Emcee on 7/30/07 |
Are you same kevin running around with the wife's sister? |
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---Toby on 7/30/07 |
You are trying to justify a wrong you want to indulge in. Do the right thing and get married. You do not need a scripture, opinions or anything else. If you are pass 10 yrs old, you know right from wrong. If you are a female, wise up. Make the chap marry you. This is the right and godly thing to do. |
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---Robyn on 7/30/07 |
No Bible verses you would not understand or obey them. Straight from God>>>Why tempt fate. Get out. You are too weak. The devil is strong. |
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---catherine on 7/30/07 |
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for every man there is a women and for every women is a man?let whome GOD hath joind together (whome god hath joined together)!,let no man cast asunder,it is man that reguiers a marriage certificet,but render onto ceaser what is ceaser!! |
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---robert on 7/30/07 |
The Bible tells us directly to follow the laws. In the US to be considered married by law you can't just live together, although I guess in some states you are after so many years, but that is so many years of living against the Word of God. Why would a Christian not want to carry through with the blessing of God over a marriage, is my question? |
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---Angel on 7/30/07 |
I think it depends on one's definition of "marriage". Marriage means to join together permanently. If two people live together, without ever marrying, for their entire lives and never separate, how is that any less of a "marriage" than two people who say vows they do not keep and divorce one another? How do you think people became husband and wife before the marriage ceremony was invented? Read the story of Jacob and Leah in Genesi...any evidence of a "wedding" there? |
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---fred on 7/30/07 |
Ok I hope this helps 1 Thessalonians 5:22. It tells us to abstain from the appearance of evil. Technically we may not be doing anything wrong, but it could look as if we are and it could become a stumbling block for someone. |
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---bethie on 6/20/07 |
AlwaysOn, you must live with someone. I don't know why, but your subtle detours from Christianity are like witchcraft. |
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---Joni on 11/5/06 |
Kevin & Carol, it's not a sin. No one can give you scripture, as it doesn't exist. Bethie's post, however, warns why it shouldn't be done. You don't want the appearance of evil possibly affecting someone else. Neither do you want to be tempted as others have also stated. However, you don't have to live with a person to be tempted by or to lust after them. Two can live in different countries and have lust in their heart for each other. Overall, it's better to marry as is stated 1 Corinthians 7:8. |
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---AlwaysOn on 11/5/06 |
As I asked before, why do Christians look so enthusiastically for sin in other Christians?
I am widowed ... so far i have no new potential wife come along.
I have a big house. can I sugest another widower comes and shares the home ... or even a young female student?
Appearance of sin !!! Phooo-eeee
"Honi soit qui mal y pense" |
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---quent5969_the_Scot on 11/5/06 |
Alan said: MP ... it seems to be prurience. Or jealousy? Why do people always think the worst ... particularly Christians?
I suspect those that do haven't yet gotten the hang of Matthew 7:1-7. |
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---AlwaysOn on 11/5/06 |
Jesus taught, "For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean'" (Mark 7:21-23). |
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---sam on 11/5/06 |
Paul said, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God" (1 Thess. 4:3-5). |
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---sam on 11/5/06 |
It is funny how most people would say that if someone is married and they lived with someone else, they are cheating on their spouse. People don't say this about couples who live together before marriage. Why? They don't have any commitment and God does not recognize them as one! Marriage, not co-habitation, was God's design for man! |
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---sam on 11/5/06 |
Carol::Is it a sin for bro & sis to live together NO:is it ok for them to sleep together,Questionable;Is it ok for man & woman to live together;Questionable.they sleep together, more questionable. Only God knows the truth,( avoid the occassion). your conscience is your guide, not mans bees wax.Just remember any match struck will light.God can does know mans every word, thought & action He bases His judgement on that.Its called accountability.Fornication & any sexual attributes is a sin. |
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---Emcee on 11/5/06 |
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Can someone please tell me which chapter and verse in the bible state it is a sin to live together before marriage? Also, does it state in the bible anywhere that if a heterosexual couple does live together before marriage they can not be married in a church because they are "below the standards of the church"? No disrespect, but I do need scripture on this. Thank you |
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---Carol on 11/5/06 |
2. We know that heterosexual sex before marriage and homosexuality are both wrong but I don't think the bible says anything regarding the question as it is asked, except about giving the 'appearance of sin'. Sadly sin seems to be 'appearing' before the eyes of many where there is actually no sin at all. What next, shall we accuse every adult male living with his biological sister of committing incest?
Moderator - Yes, Christians should stay away from the appearance of sin. |
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---emg on 3/20/06 |
1. Many people, including some Christians, just cannot believe that two people of the opposite sex can live together platonically. It seems to be assumed that sex must be taking place. So what do we say about two people of the SAME sex living together platonically in these days when people are proud to say that they are lesbian or homosexual? |
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---emg on 3/20/06 |
Trin; so if a man and a woman live together it isn't a sin, because you say the bible doesn't say? I agree the bible does not say Man and woman shouldn't live together (as those exact words) but there are verses that are as the same concept in the bible, and it isn't opionions it is true. |
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---Rebecca_D on 3/19/06 |
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So to answer the question in the way you asked for it to be answered: No, the Bible does not state that living together is a sin. This is something that is built on opinions based on the Bible. |
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---Trin on 3/19/06 |
It is not good man should live alone...so God will give him a WIFE (not someone to just "play house" or "shack up" with). |
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---Dan on 2/6/06 |
Now lusting is more than temptation. But who is to draw the line and say where the sin starts. It is not for us to judge that in someone else. It is not for us to say that if a man and woman occupy a home together that they must be sinning because they must be sleeping together, or if not that they must be lusting after each other. Why do Christians look for sin in others? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/13/05 |
Sorry lupe, but I was not rying to be funny. You see, I do not believe as you do, that "Just having the temptation that is not of God is a sin" There is no temptation that is of God. All temptations come from elsewhere. It cannot be a sin to be tempted. |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/13/05 |
Yes it is a sin, because you state it is "a couple", implying a union, and this kind of cohabitation is wrong. Fornication is whoredom, and it is a sin. Men and women should keep their chastitiy (virginity) until they marry. Please read I Corinthians 6:9,10; 7:2. |
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---Eloy on 12/13/05 |
No Alan, not a lawn mower silly, sinning with your heart. You know what I am talking about. People sin with their heart. YOu don't have to do the act. Hello Alan, Just having the temptation that is not of God is a sin. Lusting at another women is a sin, even if you don't do the act itself of wanting her you have sinned. Things like that is what I was talking about. You are trying to be as funny as Elder but not even close |
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---Lupe2618 on 12/12/05 |
Lupe . # 2 That seems to mean that for example, if I know that it would be a sin to steal my neighbour's lawn-mower, and do not steal it, I am still sinning ???? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/12/05 |
Lupe . # 1 not sure quite what you mean by this "I believe people think that you have to commit the sin for it to be a sin, but that is not true. Sister Dory has the correct answer for this question. If we know what God wants us to do and we don't do, it is a sin. We don't have to commit the sin itself but just knowing its wrong is a sin"
You seem to be caying that if we are aware that a certain action is a sin, and we do not take that action, we are sinning just because we know it is a sin.? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/12/05 |
Lupe ... The problem with this is that there are many Christians with what appears to be a prurient mind ... taking pleasure in judging other to be sinning especially in sexual matters. Some are too quick to assume that others are sinning. If they live together without sex, there is no sin. But I would agree it is UNWISE, because the temptation will be great. |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/12/05 |
2. Many times when we hear the Holy Spirit in our hearts talking we don't want to except what He is telling us so we ask. A person without The Holy Spirit, that is lost, does not think twice and never cares what God thinks. But we are different and we get a conviction so we ask the question, kind of questioning what we already know is wrong because we can discern that through the Spirit. If God has spoken, listen to Him and you will know what is right for your case. |
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---Lupe2618 on 12/12/05 |
I believe people think that you have to commit the sin for it to be a sin, but that is not true. Sister Dory has the correct answer for this question. If we know what God wants us to do and we don't do, it is a sin. We don't have to commit the sin itself but just knowing its wrong is a sin. Alan, speaks of it as just someone living there for boading and that is different. Dory's explanation is totally correct with Scripture. |
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---Lupe2618 on 12/12/05 |
I can only speak from experience. My fiance and I lived together for over three years, sleeping in the same bed but no sex whatsoever. When I moved into my own apartment God began to bless me ... I had prayed for years for my hearing to be restored, well, I can hear in my left ear now. My son can now come and visit and spend the night. God, at least in my case, did NOT approve of my living situation. As soon as I moved God started to move too. |
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---Nellah on 12/8/05 |
My husband's aunt moved in with her boyfriend,they slept in separate rooms, vowing never to have sex til they got married. Still temptation took over and they had sex. So in other words, even though it may start out innocent, temptation can over power, and then yes it is sin. On the other hand, as said in answers here, even the apperance of evil we should stay away from, lest rumors spread and lives are ruined. |
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---Melissa on 12/8/05 |
When issue comes up again, why does they covet what they cannot have(adultery - Matthew 5:27-28). In addition, look at Leviticus 18, have them read chapter. Guidelines are straight. Married man and woman. Issue is not about living together but rather how do I get benefits of married life without being married. This living together is trying to fill a void, God. If God is truly the Head, this issue would not have been asked. |
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---Paul on 12/8/05 |
MP ... it seems to be prurience. Or jealousy? Why do people always think the worst ... particularly Christians? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/8/05 |
No Alan it is not wrong. I agree with you when you say it is an impertinent assumption that living together means sleeping together. I have argued this on many occasions but always get the 'appearance of evil' bit thrown back at me. I think that the evil is often just in the minds of others. |
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---M.P. on 12/8/05 |
For a long time I had a male boarder in my home and we were not in any type of relationship. It was strictly financial matter. If there is an emotional, romantic bond, then it all changes and you need to look at options to the current arrangement. |
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---Toma on 12/8/05 |
Alan of UK, I think the problem comes when the two living together are known as a 'couple'. |
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---bethie on 12/8/05 |
"A couple that is living together is assumed to be sleeping together" That is an impertinemt assumption. I have a female paying lodger in my house ... is that wrong? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 12/8/05 |
The problem: the appearance of immorality (Ephesians 5:3) and it will be a tremendous temptation for immorality. Flee immorality, not expose ourselves to constant temptations to immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Also problem of appearances. A couple that is living together is assumed to be sleeping together-we are to avoid the appearance of evil (Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble/be offended. Its not honoring to God for a couple to live together before marriage. |
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---Ralph on 12/8/05 |
The Bible says that it is not good for man to live alone, so God made him a wife. And the two shall become one. God recognized man's loneliness and need for companionship. Marriage is a serious contract. God didn't call man to find a woman and play house! |
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---Bob on 12/8/05 |
Bethies, very good response. I truly appreciate what you said. |
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---Toma on 12/8/05 |
Two points:
1/ What don't you understand about adultery for looking, if that is the case then living is sin.
2/ As it goes against the churches and Jewish teaching, where does it say you can in the Bible? |
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---mike6553 on 12/8/05 |
I believe that 1 Thessalonians 5:22 which says to abstain from the appearance is the obvious verse here but there is also James 4:17 which says "... to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin." -- Sin is not only a matter of committing evil deeds, it is also passively failing to do what you know God wants you to do. |
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---DoryLory on 12/7/05 |
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There is no scripture that says word for word that two people cannot live under the same roof if they are not legally joined in marriage. BUT, there are tons of scriptures that warn us about putting ourselves in tempting situations, which is exactly what 2 people who are in a romantic relationship living in the same house is- the devil knows that, and believe me...he WILL take advantage of the situation. |
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---Molly on 12/7/05 |
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