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Boyfriend Looks At Other Girls

Should it bother me that my boyfriend admits he likes looking at other women and can't help it if a "hot" woman is in his view? He says just because you chase a car it doesn't mean you want to drive it.

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 ---Gen on 12/29/05
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(Sigh) Oh John!
---Mary on 4/10/11

Yet the FemiNazis want women to be men and men to be women.
---John on 4/10/11

Donna66, you gave some great answers. It is true that man are made different then women. We should be so glad. I wouldn't want to have a love for dresses or for that matter have a baby. But because we are made different, we as believers should, because of the love for our wives, be more respectful, loving, considered, for our wives. That is something we can control. We as man should do our best to avoid hurting our spouses. The same should hold true for the women who is very pretty. She also has a responsibility to dress descent. If we cause others to sin, we are responsible.
---Mark_V. on 4/10/11

No one knows how to account for this difference in the sexes.
---Donna66 on 4/9/11

And to this I say...AMEN!
---John on 4/9/11

Would it bother you less if he looked at other men?
---Cluny on 4/9/11

There is a way to keep your man from looking at other women.

Just ask him IF you want the answer. You may not like it though.
---CraigA on 4/9/11

John---Yes there is research behind this phenomena, but it doesn't show that men are conditioned to be this way by women. It seems to be more a feature of genetics.

If a man sees a movie starring a beautiful woman, chances are, a visual image of her is "burned" onto his memory and he will think about her at times...even days afterward.

A woman will remember what a handsome male actor looks like, along with various scenes in the movie. But she likely will only remember him later, if someone or something reminds her.

No one knows how to account for this difference in the sexes.
---Donna66 on 4/9/11

When it says your body is not your own but your spouses that is all inclusive, eyes and all

You better consider marrying someone whose actions are so un-godly.
---sum1on on 4/9/11

John-- Many blogs on spiritual topics have been started by women. it would be nice to hear you say something kind once in a while.
---Donna66 on 4/9/11

I did! I gave you a huge compliment on one of these
"My Husband doesn't..." blogs.

That inspite of all your mudslinging at me.

I said that you were a True Christian Women and that they should stop the Squaking and follow your example. I said you were the Mary and they were the Marthas(Church Ladies). I also included Rhonda in that. Why?

Because, if you noticed, you are the only women we hear from in the spiritual/scriptural blogs on a consistant basis.

---John on 4/9/11

"Don't get mad, get even"???

That is childish and game playing. Men, you need to grow up and stop making excuses for your sinful behavior. If you are not a teenager then stop acting like one.

Believe it or not adultery begins in the heart as Jesus stated. So smarten up or take the chance of losing your woman's trust and respect and possibly even the relationship.

I personally don't trust lookers and it is not my job to spy on my better half to make sure he is behaving himself. If he thinks I am not good enough for him then he knows where the door is.

And all I have to say is "Don't let the doorknob hit you where the Good Lord split you"
---poopsey on 4/9/11

I even think its ok for a man to look at a women who looks similar to the way I look. ---mary8589 on
VAINITY VAINITY!!!! Thy name is woman!

In your case one with very low self esteem and insecure about her own "body parts"

WOW! That sure was ALL about you and your low self esteem.

Forget your flesh and find The Christ.
---John on 4/9/11

I can understand the ladies, My issue with this, is not the fact that men look at pretty women(pretty faces, thats nornal, I have a problem with my man looking at the body parts of women that pass by. moreover, body parts that I dont have. I'm fine if my man says, hey shes really pretty, ill say, hey yeah she is, but i have a problem when men look at girls who are really ugly and only have one thing going for them. hips and butt. I think that looking at these type of men turns into lust and not admiration. I dump guys like this.. I even think its ok for a man to look at a women who looks similar to the way I look. I think thats a compliment as if she were one of my sisters lol. But men can be trained like dogs... Ive done this before,
---mary8589 on 4/9/11

The thing I dont get is when im aware of his stares and i dress a certian way so i can get looks from others guys.. i find that his attention is on me.. and him wishing other guys wont stare at me the way he ususally likes to stare at other women..

But I think as a man or Women of God this shouldnt be... this isnt love..
---mary8589 on 4/9/11

John-- Many blogs on spiritual topics have been started by women. it would be nice to hear you say something kind once in a while.
---Donna66 on 4/9/11

Actually Ladies, there has been research on this.

Boys have been trained/conditioned to look at Girls since 5 yrs old.

Women do everything they can to attract men to them visually (Makeup/clothes/perfume)

Then they expect them to stop instantly when they have a Girlfriend/Wife.

Since boyhood throungh manhood, men have been taught(BY WOMEN) to look at them.

Then SUDDENLY they have to unlearn what he had been conditioned to all his life.

Ladies, it's not reality. Only Vanity. "He should just look at me now. I'm the prettiest"!

Conditioned by the very woman who complain that their "dog" has not unlearn what they themselves have conditioned them to do in the first place.
---John on 4/9/11

Hi Donna, you might unfortunately be right about the male nature to look. I confess I have felt guilty when I admire how a certain man's jeans fit him sooo good--yet I'm happily married.
---Mary on 4/9/11

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This is just one woman's opinion.
I think it is hard for women to understand that this is just part of a man's's usually no reflection on you as his wife/girlfriend.
Women don't feel the need to look at every young hunk that walks by, because they are just not wired that way.

If, as a woman, you wish your man would be more tolerant of, say PMS...then you need to be be a little tolerant when his eyes follow some sexy looking young thing.

Neither PMS nor "girl watching" need to threaten a good relationship, if you both understand what's going on. The secret is to not let either permanently shape your behavior.
---Donna66 on 4/8/11

It would be nice to see you squaking hens actually spend some time dedicated to G-d instead of vainity.

"Vainity, Vainity, thy name is woman" W. Shakespeare.

It would even be more amazing to actually so one of you actualy start a spiritual blog about G-d/Scripture.


1) My Husband is lazy
2) My Husband is Controlling
3) My Husband doesn't give me gifts
4) My Husband doesn't work.
5) My husband doesn't pay attention to me

on and on and on......
---John on 4/8/11

i would take his pants down & give a good over the knee whacking right across his bare bottom !!
---cynthia on 4/8/11

I hate my boyfriend looking other women, i feel cheated on. My heart goes faster, stomach turns, sometimes feel i want to throw up or pass out. It really hurts that bad.iv told him this hr says he dont look but iv seen him looking at page 3 stuff. I really cant cope with it i know im worse than most, we cant go abroad cos i cant cope and id rather not be with him if he looks at women.wether im around or not. We have a baby and my body isnt what it used to be which has made it worse, its destroyin our relationship as i cant get it out my head. Is it reasonable to expect him to not look to save our relationship, it really is all i ask of him to make me happy. Or ill never be happy, i cry about it when im on my own i really cabt accept it.
---lauren on 4/8/11

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What's good for the gander is good for the goose. Give him a taste of his own medicine. If he indulges in looking, why don't you? The door swings both ways.Sometimes we get to predictable and men feel they can get away with anything. Don't get mad,get even.
---Robyn on 3/5/11

Well think of it this way. If your wife is hot whose not looking at her. So everybody likes to people watch.
---kissss on 3/2/11

hey ive i problem with my fella looking at other women i have said to him about it and he says he is sorry. But he keeps on doing it. Ive learned to not let it get to me but the thing that really upsets me is when he stares and cant stop. how can i fix this. please help what can I do?
---joanne on 1/4/11

Girl-watching has a been a joyous pastime for men since the beginning of time. Men will look and whistle. It is flattering for a man to look and whistle at you. But it is ill-mannered to do this with the woman you love. I would suggest a man not even stare at a woman, when he is with his main squeeze. That is--if he wants to keep the peace between him and his woman.
---Robyn on 8/3/10

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Don't if at all possible take it personably, ask him to look if he has to when your not around him. It really hurts I know but remind him of King David looking at Bethsheba and it cost him everything!He lost a child over it...Bottom line ask God for wisdom in this area...
---Patty on 7/23/10

This question was saked four & a half years ago!

I wonder if Gen still has that boyfriend?
---alan8566_of_uk on 7/22/10

Should it bother me that my boyfriend admits he likes looking at other women and can't help it if a "hot" woman is in his view? He says just because you chase a car it doesn't mean you want to drive it.

Well there is a termn for that.
He is looking for a BETTER DEAL.
Right now, he is lesing, with a option to buy.
---francis on 7/22/10

U also look for other guy
---xxx on 7/22/10

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first off it doesnt matter that he looks at other girls because he isnt doing anything with them and he still is with you,and i think that you also look at guys when your walking on the street or anywhere else
---keyblade on 4/28/08

I'm pretty sure your boyfriend is just asking to be dumped by lingering his eyes on other women in front of you so frequently. That is a very stupid move on his part and you shouldn't put up with it. If he really cared about you, he would not do that.
---Sara on 4/27/08

Human nature ...just because you're with somebody doesn't mean all other humans are dead to the radar. Just don't act upon it.If my husband tells me a woman is pretty, i ask him "What about her do you like?" instead of gettnig in a fit, because he looked at a woman I just ask him to define it more. He usually says "look at the way she carries herself.."So it's in the positive.
---candice on 4/8/08

And men say WOMEN are vain!!!

I can be so vain by being so concerned about what a woman LOOKS like!!!

THAT is s-u-p-e-r-f-i-c-i-a-l.

I STILL may not be able to "help" looking women over; but I understand the Holy Spirit can make me more real in love so I care about women, instead of just using them to look at, "etc".
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/28/07

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Nellah: What traps we set for ourselves to fall back in. Men are going to always look. So do women. Nothing wrong with that but I know who he really loves. When two people truly love each other, there is no place for these type insecurities. Be blessed.
---Robyn on 5/28/07

A gentleman will look and not rub his wife/girlfriend's face in it. All red-bloodied men will look. Nothing wrong with that. You, lady. Have gotten yourself a sluggard with no class. I would not go any further with this relationship. He will only hurt you with more trifles as time goes on. Get out now.
---Robyn on 5/28/07

I once answered this: When men look at beautiful women, don't get angry, turn the tables. say hey, that woman is hot over there. I bet they are fake. You both laugh and it difuses the situation. it enables you both to laugh with each other and understand it never hurts to look at men or women. it only hurts when it escalates to touch. men and women are God's creations on earth like flowers, trees, birds, paintings. by keeping things in a proper frame of mind, they are enjoyed but not lusted after.
---ashley on 5/28/07

Unfortunately, most if not all men are like this. Should it bother you? It depends on if he does it while he is with you. If so, then it's understandable that it would bother you. I suggest reading "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. This explains the reasons men act the way they do. The author interviewed over one thousand men of all walks of life. I have read it and it has helped me understand my husband alot more and we even get along better now.
---Melissa on 5/28/07

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Chase and look are two different things. Yet they are attractive people out there but it's not right to act on it, you must be true to god and you partner in life. Pray for guidance
---Tonya on 8/2/06

I always put myself down ,and he says that I need to be confident about myself. He says look at these others if they can be confident to wear some of these skimpy outfits then you can be confident about yourself. He is always telling me to be postive about myself. We are always honest with each other,and tell each other if another guy or girl hits on us. That is why it doesn't bother me when he says that he looks or looked at other girls. Cause I know he only wants me.
---angea on 12/30/05

I don't look at other guys, but i see nice looking ones when I am at work. But that is all I see. They don't interest me all. I only want my boyfriend and he is enough for me. But I know of other girls that have boyfriends who look at other guys too. My boyfriend used to say that he looks at other girls even when he tries not to. But I am the one he wants and I am the only girl he wants to be with.
---angea on 12/30/05

It doesn't bother me when my husband says another woman is pretty. It never has. I know where his heart is and it is with me. Men and woman are going to look, it is human almost like the law of nature to look. But there is a difference between "looking" and "gawking". I see nice looking guys but yet, I don't act upon what I see.
---Rebecca_D on 12/29/05

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Guys can't win in this situation. If he denied that he looks at women so as not to make his lady feel bad, she would still be bothered because he wasn't sincere. He's only a boyfriend, not a husband. He should shop around all he wants.
---ralph7477 on 12/29/05

Being that I was Miss Insecure 1960, 70, 80, 90 ... I had a hard time with boyfriends looking at other females. Made me feel ugly and not good enough. Jesus takes that away. Now, if my fiance looks, it doesn't bother me anymore. Pray for God to remove those insecurities.
---Nellah on 12/29/05

My ex used to tell me that.."just because I look at the sleek cars when I pass a car lot doesn't mean I'm going to buy them." Unfortunately that didn't keep him from taking "test drives" whether he intended to 'buy' them or not. Just one reason he's my ex.
---NVBarbara on 12/29/05

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