Husband Never Gives Me Gifts
During our marriage my husband has never given me a gift for any of the holidays or for our anniversary. I have given gifts and when I ask him why he doesn't recipitate, he always has an excuse. I understand that it is better to give then to receive. How should I react to this?
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---Asking on 1/9/06
Helpful Blog Vote (43)
Rhonda: You never answered my questions directly but are just looking for excuses.
I never said a marriage is based on gifts. It is based on love and one of the ways that love is shown is by giving gifts.
When you learn to truly have compassion for another's pain then maybe you will understand what I was saying.
I find you to be insulting and cold-hearted. I am finished with you. Have a nice day!
---poopsey on 4/5/11|
Rhonda: Are you married? Does your husband give you gifts? Do you keep them?
when you give a gift it is always from the heart ANY TIME you SEEK and EXPECT a gift in return you FAIL to comprehend you NEVER "gave" from your heart.
I don't give gifts to my family members, my husband or children or even homeless people with ANY EXPECTATIONS ...a marriage is NOT BASED on gifts you are SADLY mistaken
when you learn to TRULY give from the heart the giving IS THE GIFT you give yourself
a lesson most cannot comprehend which is why you make a poor attempt in your analogy to the GIFT of Christ
---Rhonda on 4/2/11|
My son was married for 20 years. He delighted in finding special gifts for his wife for Christmas and other occasions. Yet she NEVER gave him a Christmas gift or a birthday gift. She didn't have the kids give him gifts either. She would gripe and complain about the gifts he did give to her. He finally gave up after 16 years and bought his own Christmas gift and gave none to her. It hurts when you love and give gifts and don't ever receive any.
---Senior_Citizen on 4/1/11|
Rhonda: Are you married? Does your husband give you gifts? Do you keep them?
This particular case involves husband and wife. This is not the same as giving a gift to a homeless person that you know can't pay you back. A marriage is a reciprocal relationship. Husbands and wives are to love one another and gift giving is part of showing that love.
The Bible clearly states to love one another. Is this not reciprocal?
Giving has everything to do with Christ since Christ gave the greatest gift of all which was himself. Stingy people are selfish and are takers and not givers. People who love give and they give generously.
---poopsey on 3/30/11|
Rhonda: What you said is quite nasty and insensitive. The poster of the question didn't say she nags anyone for a gift. She is hurt because she gives and doesn't receive in kind. It is called reciprocating
okay then either you don't SEE the posters comments or you choose to IGNORE them
GIVING is just that GIVING and by the way nothing says to give and then ASK where is my reciprocation
as for "walking with Christ" and "giving gifts" I'm unclear HOW you make an absurd analogy because one either GIVES from the heart and is happy with giving or they "give" to receive
these concepts are NOT similar
---Rhonda on 3/29/11|
Rhonda: What you said is quite nasty and insensitive. The poster of the question didn't say she nags anyone for a gift. She is hurt because she gives and doesn't receive in kind. It is called reciprocating.
Walking with Christ has everything to do with giving. How can you be stingy and still reflect God's love?
Since you don't think giving is important then I suppose if you are married you do not receive gifts from your husband and if you did you would tell him to send them back for a refund.
---poopsey on 3/28/11|
as it stands it sounds like you are a spoiled child not an adult and a wife
what does giving gifts have to do with walking in Christ?
so you NAG your husband to give you a gift because you gave him one?
it is absurd to think there are people today who are so wrapped up in themselves they cannot comprehend how empty their "giving" really is
---Rhonda on 3/28/11|
I can't believe some of the responses to this question. Giving is all about love so by your husband refusing to give you gifts for special occasions he is withholding his love for you. That is wrong. He is being selfish and damaging the marriage by doing this.
I would tell him that this lack of love and respect is hurting you and that it is time to smarten up. I would tell him that you are not giving him any more gifts until he starts reciprocating.
And excuses are just that, excuses. I wouldn't let him get away with this. He is taking you and your love for granted and he needs a very strong wake up call.
---poopsey on 3/25/11|
Read the 5 love languages by Gary (i think) Chapmin very good book. Some peoples love language is gifts, touch, time, service, compliments explain that yours is gifts and how he can be better.
---Scott on 1/14/11|
Well put, Mark_V.
---Haz27 on 1/9/11|
Robyn, I disagree with you, many people love that way. So many. In fact the love we have for Christ should be that way too. We might not love that way all the time but we do so many times. I have seen people love others even when those others do not even know it. True Christians have died for the love they have for others. To love my wife I do not expect anything in return. I love her because it's in me to love her no matter what she looks like, or what she does for me. She loves me the same way. And ideal world would be great if everyone loved everyone, but love is talking about the individual. Not about two people. If only one loves, it should not matter if the other doesn't, it does not in any way change your love. That is why it suffers.
---Mark_V. on 1/9/11|
MarkV: No one can love like what is written in I Corinthians ch 13. Some of us may come close with knowledge. Here on earth.That chapter is a symbol or the ideal of what love looks like. The "ideal" is the key word. I would love an "ideal world" where there would be only peace, love, no tears, no suffering and so on but that's not about to happen. We have to accept what is, right now. The same with love, if you can understand me. We can save ourselves untold pain and heartache, if we learn this lesson.. so the christians live self defeated and sad lives spent trying to do something they will never be able to do, in this life. So relax, get real and do what we can, according to the will of God.
---Robyn on 1/8/11|
Always on, you again gave great advice. I love your answer. Every word you said was right on. If only everyone stop thinking so much of themselves they would be able to see the answer which is right in front of them.
1 Cor. 13, clearly shows what true love is. It's not selfish, that is for sure, not demanding, love suffers long and is kind, does not envy, and does not parade itself, or is puffed up, and really does not seek its own, and thinks no evil. it does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the Truth. It really endures all things. If that is not the love they have then they need to re-evaluate the love they have.
---Mark_V. on 1/8/11|
Haz27: You are making judgements calls on my life and you don't even know me. How sad. But I won't back down. I said what I did because I have the experience to back me up. I am so glad you don't have a hell to throw me into. You seem to be the one with the hard heart.
---Robyn on 1/7/11|
We all would do well to read the scripture micha9344 gave below.
When people dump their partners because they don't measure up to their(selfish) expectations, then this is the hardness of heart Jesus spoke of. It is ugly.
Love is a better way.
---Haz27 on 1/1/11|
Cluny makes a good point about how it is usually the wives who are far more demanding and critical than the husbands.
I believe feminism is much to blame. Unfortuantely feminism has corrupted many women in socieities that adopted it.
Becoming Christ-like is far better for both men and women instead of following selfish worldy doctrines.
---Haz27 on 1/1/11|
I would never marry a woman like yourself. Too hard of heart.
Marriage is to love one another. Not the husband being your lap-dog.
Being a loving Christian is far, far more attractive.
---Haz27 on 1/1/11|
Matthew 19:8b Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.(even for not gift-giving?)
Ephesians 4:2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love,-KJV
-Did that say meekness, longsufering and forbearing?
-Maybe another version might help.
Eph 4:2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,-NASB
-Wow, tolerance in love?..really?
1Jn 4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
-Even unmature, uncaring, unromantic, ill-mannered freaks?
---micha9344 on 1/1/11|
Haz27: Believe what you want about me. It does not matter.Whatever I say won't be acceptable to you, anyway. Men and women have many faults. We all have issues we are dealing with. What do you have to show for yourself? I guarantee you would walk the chalk line if you were my man. Or else you would not be around very long.
---Robyn on 1/1/11|
--maybe THEY are not the only ones with whom it's hard to live.--
I dont care how hard you are to live with, not buying your own spouse a gift at Christmas is just cruel.
Theres no excuse for it
---CraigA on 1/1/11|
\\You remind me of my brother who speaks in the same terms as you about womens many faults, weaknesses and gender traits.
---Haz27 on 12/31/10\\
One of the things I've noticed on these Christian blogs is how many women complain about men in general and their husbands in particular.
The gist of most of their complains is, "He won't do what I want him to do."
VERY few men, even the divorced ones, complain about their wives, even those who abandoned them.
Why is that?
---Cluny on 1/1/11|
Thanks for your response. Unfortunately it does confirm what I suspected.
I suspect your comment that you believe in "forgiveness, kindness, compassion" is insincere.
You remind me of my brother who speaks in the same terms as you about womens many faults, weaknesses and gender traits.
---Haz27 on 12/31/10|
If you believe it's better to give than to receive, that's all you have to do.
** I don't want to hurt my kids, but a husband with so many issues and deficiencies is very hard to live with.
---hurtWife on 9/18/10**
If this is your second marriage that has gone sour, perhaps your husbands were not the only ones with issues, and maybe THEY are not the only ones with whom it's hard to live.
---Cluny on 12/31/10|
Haz27: I have nothing to prove to you. I have dated since I was 16 yrs old. I have been married over 30 years. I believing in forgiveness,kindness, compassion. But I also believe in these traits toward myself as well. I certainly don't have time to teach grown men how to act like adults. I married a man and he will act like one. Not a boy! Marriage involves doing many things we don't want to do sometimes. I give my very best and so will the man I am involved with. You do as you please.Case closed.
---Robyn on 12/31/10|
And by the way Haz: I am a happy and secure woman who knows how to treat her man. If my marriage failed today I would have no regrets. Marriage doesn't make or break me. I married because I wanted to not because I had to. I don't need a man to validate me. But they are nice to have around,sometimes.
---Robyn on 12/31/10|
Robyn, reading your posts I suspect you are a very hurt woman with a lot of bitterness against men.
Both men and women have gender traits etc, etc that will upset each other. Abusing others until they submit to your desires is unrealistic and increases bitterness.
Love one another, forgive 7 x 70, trust in God. These are God's ways.
---Haz27 on 12/30/10|
Cluny: You absolutely have no clue about women and their ways. No romantic or caring bone in your little body. You need to leave and come back again when you have matured,if ever.
---Robyn on 12/28/10|
Treat yourself to a gift, and enjoy the gift.
---Eloy on 12/29/10|
I going to send you tools, so you can build a bridge and GET OVER IT!!!!
---John on 12/28/10|
This blog question saddens me. Such a small thing could bring so much joy and happiness to this couple. I think I would cut my losses. Let this ill-mannered freak go. Try to find more happiness for myself. Life is just too short to tolerate this.
---Robyn on 12/28/10|
Asking: All I have to say is that it must be really depressing for you. I suppose you can keep asking him to recognize you through simple gift giving but you may need to just stop giving him gifts,period and let the chips fall where they may. I do not think it is wrong of you to feel the way you do. I just do not know how to solve this. Maybe counseling. If it is important to you, then it is important to the marriage.
---jody on 12/28/10|
I have been married to my husband for 7 years. He has given me a Christmas gift, twice - expensive jewelry, very nice and appreciated. He has grown kids and grandkids. It hurts when I see his excitement in getting Christmas gifts for them and I receive nothing. I have never recieved anything for Valentines Day, or my birthday. We are both Christians. Giving gifts is an expression of love, one for another. I have given him gifts and received nothing in return. I would be so excited about giving him something, get my heart ripped out when he would totally ignore the holiday as far as I was concerned.
---Louise on 12/28/10|
My sister, it is more blessed to give, why don't you skip giving him a gift once and twice and see his reaction. If he reacts, you will let him know that you feel the same way when he doesn't buy you a gift but if he keeps quiet may be he is not the type who thinks it doesn't matter.
---Mikelin on 12/22/10|
When I went to work to provide for my family my wife was among those benefiting. That was gift enough.
When my wife provides due to my declining health that is my gift.
It is called love.
And that is gift enough.
(however we do get each other gifts on certain occasions)
But we do not expect gifts.
---Frank on 12/20/10|
i would suggest that to be not hurt is not to expect.Hurting comes from unmet expectations.Instead of hurting try to understand his make up.people varies in showing love.You can spell love with g-i-f-t-s but he can spell love with s-e-r-v-i-c-e or t-i-m-e.know his love languages and accept him for who he is.
---mj on 12/18/10|
\\but he never even acknowledged any of my special days (birthday, mothers day). \\
Why should he have given yo a Mother's Day gift?
You're not his mother, are you?
---Cluny on 12/16/10|
How many gifts have you given him?
---Cluny on 12/15/10|
Your husband is aware of how you feel about this. Therefore, I wouldn't suggest that you react any other way than to accept him for who he is. The more you make an issue of it, the more your husband is likely to resist. Even though he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you, some people have a hard time changing when they feel forced to do so.
When you feel slighted, don't complain to your husband anymore, but talk to our Father, instead. Also, accept that your husband may never give you gifts. A lot of your heartache stems from wanting your husband to change and him not doing so is causing you pain. Instead, learn acceptance.
If he is ever to change who he is, let our Father be the one to nudge him towards it from now on.
---AlwaysOn on 12/15/10|
Haz27, I agree with almost all of what you said. Especially the part that man or different and also, what we feel for others is not always what they feel for us, or in the same way. But I disagree it is the failure of the Church. That is blaming someone else for what we do. If all the believers were doing what God wants us to do, our churches would function so great. It is the believers fault to why the churches are the way they are. The main fault, is their devotion to God. If their devotion was real, you would see a lot of loving husbands and wives. I am not going to say they are not saved because I am not God, but is sure looks like they are not. I'll give you an example:
---Mark_V. on 12/15/10|
Make him jealous by receiving gifts from other relatives, friends and co-workers and make him feel guilty. same thing, ignore him by not giving any gifts for his birthday but send to all relatives for their birthday and let him notice strongly.
Now he must realize...and will change his course.
---kurt on 12/13/10|
Same thing here,only i am not married,been with a guy for 5years he has never given me a present or even surprised me!He does make excuses all the time and his good at it!! you belive so much that things will be different the next time.Wait till i told him he did not do anything special and that i wanted time off.now he cared and wanted to give everything...I would tell you to give him time but always let him know it is not fair your on one end always giving..
---Michelle on 12/13/10|
I don't know, Catherine, going out on a shopping spree is less than helpful and the lack of money may be the reason this man is not buying any gifts for his wife and he may not want any for his birthday either.
I may be wrong, but it sounds as if he is really depressed about being unemployed and this depression may be affecting his desire for his wife. Sometimes men begin to think they are not good enough for their mate and if they cannot provide for them as they would like (even gifts), they may begin to shut down emotionally and may even direct their anger upon the object of their affection.
---Higgins on 9/19/10|
Are you in Church? Can you not insist that you both attend counseling thru your Pastor, for your children's sake, as well as your own?
---Lin on 9/19/10|
My husband hasn't given me a gift or card in 3 years. He also has put me through a lot of pain, yelling and fighting, in front of our two small children. He doesn't work or make money. I have held on because the kids love him and although I do love him, my pain has made it nearly impossible for me to show my love to him. I grew up in a strong Christian family and this is my second marriage. I don't want to go through divorce again, especially now that I have two children. I don't want to hurt my kids, but a husband with so many issues and deficiencies is very hard to live with.
---hurtWife on 9/18/10|
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Star,Marie: My heart goes out to you. How did you put up with these brutes for so long? Forty years(40 years)My,my,my! These are men are blessed to have anyone around, with their type attitudes. If I were a man and a woman was stupid enough to let me get away with this insensitivity. I would probably do the same thing. The women are at fault,or greater,than the brutes who are doing this to them. We all have choices in life. Even Jesus don't force us to follow HIM! Every area of my life would be affected by this. Any caring man who loves a woman should have this as part of his arsenal. Even my favorite 50cents candy bar would make a difference. The thought is what counts!
---Robyn on 8/6/10|
We are all different both individually as well as in the typical gender differences. Just because your husband doesn't give gifts doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Husbands have similar stories about how they feel unloved by their wives too.
We each show love our own way. In marriage we can try to learn how to perceive each others love language and try to incorporate it into our own. But we can't expect our partners can do a total change to our way of thinking.
The high divorce rate amongst Christians reflects how many truely unloving people there are. This is contrary to the Christlike nature God is wanting us have. It shows that churches are failing in their teachings. It reflects how many hard-hearted Christians there are.
---Haz27 on 8/3/10|
Asking: You are very gullible and easily fooled. This man is taking advantage of you. And you are allowing him to. another woman would not accept this behaviour from him. And he would fall in line quickly or lose out on other things in the relationship. Or lose the relationship altogether.
You must put your foot down about this and make him follow through. If you give him a gift, he should be able to give back,sometimes. I could not imagine being married or involved with this type man--ever.
---Robyn on 8/3/10|
I have received No gifts for 13 years of marriage! He keeps promising that he wants to give me these expensive gifts which I do not necessarily want, yet never kept his words regarding those "future gifts". I don't want expensive gifts, just something: a t-shirt, a purse, a 15 minute massage gift certificate, a pen... Very upsetting to me!! I can't understand it! So you are not alone.
---marie on 5/7/10|
Well, I am sure that your feelings are hurt! What can you do? Go out and have a good old shopping spree.
---catherine on 5/2/10|
just because you dont receive a physical gift doesn't mean that he is not giving. there are other things that you might take for granted that he does that are in essence gifts what if he didn't do those things. my husband is not romantic doesn't believe in holidays or birthdays etc. in my previous marriage it was the opposite. my ex would give me things but i was not happy. the physical has nothing to do with what a person can emotional provide you with. i'd rather have the emotional things he gives me than any material gift in the world. the communication, the laughter, the peace, the no yelling. its priceless. treasure your husband for the non material values they are priceless.
---aly on 5/2/10|
I love to receive a gift from my husband however, that is only a dream for me. Men dont realise that little things mean so much to some of us women. Years ago, my husband asked me what I wanted for xmas and I pointed it out at the shop. He bought me what he rather liked instead of what I wanted. I complained and 40 years later, nothing. some men are so thoughtless and selfishly mean and dominating.
---star on 5/2/10|
Have you been giving your husband gifts that he does not really want or appreciate(even if he uses the gifts)? If you match his interest in your gifts, it is likely you will get him thinking of what to do to please you too.
---Adetunji on 3/11/10|
Asking, I'm sure you are not around this blog anymore but here is my answer anyway. Many man do not even think of giving gifts. I believe it is that man have a different make-up then women. Women are very loving, caring,emotional. Little things mean a lot to them. Man don't think that way, at least a lot of them. They can take it or leave it and later find out they should have thought about it. Then once time passes they just forget about it to only come to the same problem again. Some man, godly man mostly, because they are working under the Spirit who is changing us, to be more loving, caring, understanding, able to deal with our wives better trying hard to make them happy. And when we make them happy they in turn make us happy.
---MarkV. on 3/10/10|
Come on girls!!!
Guys do not like giving or receiving gifts. They're not into it.
They expecially do NOT like Cards or gift wrapping. All of that is just woman stuff.
Men just do it out of obligation and nothing else.
If it were a mans world we would just hand each other cash.
Now that is the truth! Not PC, but the truth.
Ask any man for a straight answer on this and he will tell you.
---John on 3/10/10|
I don't know. I have the exact same problem and if you ever find out why please let me know.
---DC on 3/10/10|
Maybe it's not about you at all It could possibly step from childhood, I know of people who have never being appreciated by others growing up because they have never had the money to buy friends presents and in turn friends never gave to them.
In the end they become withdrawn when someone shows them affection through giving and the fact that they never had the practice of giving and receiving events surrounding giving is just over looked in passing.
Nothing to do with you but a situation where they find it hard to overcome the gremlins of their life. Maybe you could find out why he does not give gifts You'll probably be surprised.
---Carla3939 on 1/12/09|
I wonder if you are being entirely honest here. Forgive me if I am being presumptuous, please! But... no gifts? At all? Truly? Or just not gifts you want or feel you deserve?
In any event, the behaviour you describe is disappointing, but not beyond hope. Respond with all the love you can give - he might just realise your worth that much more!
---Graham on 1/12/09|
dont force the issue. people of the world do things for each other in reciprocation.
- but (assuming you are) Christians are supposed to do things for people unconditionally.
- who do you want to be like?
on the other hand. if you would like for your husband to unconditionally give things to you.. then its a topic for prayer. it means so much more when God prompts someone to do what your heart desires. instead of you trying to persuade your husband to do it.
---opalgal on 12/13/08|
He is willing that you should continue hurting when he could so easily stop it. He is in violation of Matt 22:39.
---helen on 12/11/08
Matt 22:39 And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself
To claim her husband is in violation of this law is ABSURD
this women CLAIMS she understands it is better to GIVE then to receive YET she enjoys her OWN SELF PITY and you cater to it ...the "hurt" she is experiencing is self-inflicted
you are misguided believing Matt 22:39 should mean her husband should run out and get a little gift as a "token" of his love to "ease" her hurt
Gifts that are given out of obligation ARE NEVER GIFTS
---Rhonda on 12/11/08|
The issue here isn't materialism. Your wording makes that clear. The real issue here is love. And it just happens to be manifesting within the context of gift-giving. It is not your focus on gift-giving that is skewed here, it is your husband's. If he knows how easily such a small, symbolic gesture would make you feel loved by him, why is he so adamantly stubborn to express his love for you? The only answer is selfishness. Whatever his fears or needs may be, he is willingly placing them first in his life, above the needs of those he professes to love. He is willing that you should continue hurting when he could so easily stop it. He is in violation of Matt 22:39.
---helen on 12/11/08|
I recently asked my grandson who just turned eight years of age this question.
Are you going to marry a rich gril or a poor girl?
He replied, I'm going to marry a poor girl so I can give her presences.
---mima on 11/25/08|
To Whosoever has an ear to hear?
Asking:, you've made two statements that led me to believe that you either need to submit and find peace in "it's better to give than receive" or you can continue in the "I'm only human after all world", looking to coax what you want from people instead of allowing it to freely come from their hearts.
He's your husband and you should have married him because of the love of the Lord that flowed through him. I believe you both should keep walking the truth of God's Word that brought you together. Understanding that we all show and share the loving gift of God in different way.
---Shawn_M.T. on 11/25/08|
does your husband give you gift of love and affection everyday?
18 years with my husband we started out with everything ...lost a business and everything ...no money for gifts during lean times not even a card ...that financial crisis taught me many things and "having things" becomes less important ...today even though we are blessed financially again gifts no longer focal point ...dinner sharing day together on special days ...pretty bows colorful boxes physical gift would never replace my husbands love he bestows on me - cherish more than any material thing
if your husband does all this for you then why is the greatest gift the least?
---Rhonda on 11/24/08|
I feel for you. My husband doesn't give gifts either. For myself I've decided to end the marriage entirely this being the basis of a core heart issue that my husband has. These heart issues (selfishness, inability to express love etc..) have led me to seek a more fulfilling relationship. If your husband has an inability to give in my opinion he probably has other ways of showing this stinginess. Generousity is attractive and a need for me. Good Luck.
---monie_valentine on 11/24/08|
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No I absolutely did not marry him for the gifts...he was my gift. But I am human after all.
Moderator - There are 5 main love languages and maybe gifts is your love language, therefore there is nothing wrong with wanting gifts. And, yes make it clear to your husband. Most of us guys are just thick headed. Tell him that is how you feel loved.
---Asking on 11/24/08|
You married a dud and you are now stuck with him. I hate to put it to you like this but it is truth. I would be really upset. To the point of anger. Whether it is better to give than receive is not the point. He should not be so callous as to always treat you in this manner. My heart goes out to you. I would rather be without a man than put up with this shabby and insulting behavior from him. Make a plan to change this or leave!
---Robyn on 11/8/07|
Did you marry him for the gifts?
---ralph7477 on 11/3/07|
It tickles me to death when my husband buys me something, but I don't expect any material things from him. I expect him to love me and cherish me as we both vowed to do. If I never get anything else from my husband, that is fine with me. Because God has blessed me beyond measure with a man like him. He is romantic at times, but he is affectionet all the time. So I do not complain. Just be thankful he is there with you. It is nice to get something, but it shouldn't be THAT important.
---Rebecca_D on 1/5/07|
I am such a husband. I love my wife dearly, but I guess since I don't want gifts, she doesn't need them. Early on she returned many of my gifts because they weren't right. I am paying the price now as she thinks I don't love her or cherish her, which is far from the truth.
---Rob on 1/5/07|
My husb. of 14yrs never gets me gifts. I explnd to him this hurts me, I read 5 lang. of love to him. we talk about everything. He tells me he'll do better, never does. W/prayer, God help me to get through those times without pain, help me see who he is, to know I do have a good husband. I still want romance but will take him as is. cause I have no other complaints. I do hope you get your's to be more aware of your feelings. Sometimes its just nice to know that someone took the time to think about you.
---Sandra on 6/21/06|
There HAS to be more to this than gifts.
How are your communications. otherwise? I'll bet lousy. Consider counseling.
If you express your frustration to him, ask him to find someone you both trust to help resolve the issue, and many others, it will benefit both of you, and your marriage.
---John on 1/10/06|
My husband buys me too many gifts. It appears that he is trying to ensure that I don't leave him. So many times, I've told him that I love receiving gifts from him, but gifts couldn't keep me from leaving if I decided it was best to do so. Good husbands are a gift to us from God.
---Tammy on 1/10/06|
My ex-husband never gave me gifts or few times he did they were broken things from the bargain bin. It was his way of trying to control me - he knew it would hurt. I always gave him nice gifts and parties (he expected and demanded them) but he never even acknowledged any of my special days (birthday, mothers day). Your husband could just be one who doesn't understand or it could be a sign of an abusive personality.
---marya4586 on 1/10/06|
Has he given you love, a home, loyalty, companionship, Etc? Those are great gifts in this day and age...Give thanks with a grateful heart..
---Lynn on 1/9/06|
I recommend you to read a book called
"The five love languages" by Gary Chapman. Women often expect men to understand things even when we don't say it. Try to be positive!
Here's and idea; Ask him on a date, then ask him to tell you how you can meets his romantical needs better. Then let him know that for you, receiving his gifts more often would mean alot.
---Ayla on 1/9/06|