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Spanking 15 Year Old Acceptable

My husband and I spank our 15 year old daughter together as we believe that it is a duty that both of us are responsible for. Is it inappropriate for him to continue administering spankings now that she is older?

Moderator - Nobody should spank anybody that is over ten. You take things away at an older age.

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I believe you should still spank your dd at 15. I was spanked until I was 9 and I needed it much longer. As long as your child is under 18, you may spank and should spank. I go further in believing girls need it more than boys and that the father should be the spanker. Girls will grow to be woman and need to have that respect for their future husbands. Yes you should spank!

BTW I am a mother of 2 girls
---maisy on 6/13/09


Deb,
I'm not encouraging whipping, but Christ did make a whip/scourge and used clearing the temple(twice?). I don't believe every offense or every child needs physical discipline, but certain kids with certain behavioral problems may benefit if dispensed properly. I wonder why some verbally abuse their kids, then I realize they never use physical discipline. Today, many parents berate others for physical discipline, but mentally abuse kids by withholding affection or putting them in solitary confinement (sending them to their room or grounding them), others deprive kids of a meal (short term starvation), others steal from them by taking away toys and playstations. Lets face, in most cases, punishment only works if the child feels discomfort.
---doug on 2/7/09


I definetly agree with the moderator on this one.I will go one step further and say spanking should be the last resort at any age.Try other corrections first.
---shirley on 2/7/09


Dark ages my sister said that to me bringing up my two lads her son is a father at 15. My friends said I was over the top her daughter was a would be mother with five children however she chose to only bring three in the world. most my other friends children enlisted in the street gangs and are either dead or in Canada(prison doing Her Majesty's Servive) You bet I slapped them growing up right into learning good orderly skills for adulthood.

At 13 one had a paper round, earned more in tips than his wages 7.00 per week. He got a job with elderly/disabled people, minimal wage, but he was so reliable even when he comes home fron Uni.. they give him a job for that period. It did him NO Harm he's 23.
---Carla3939 on 2/7/09


I don't feel like it would be inappropriate for you husband to spank your daughter, no matter how old she is. Now if you are choosing to bare her behind for these spankings, then I would say that only mom should do it.
I also don't feel its wrong to spank her at her age. She is old enough to understand the consequences of her actions. If she chooses to disobey, then she knows whats coming.
I was spanked at 15 and it tought me to follow the rules, or else.
Good for you mom.
---Emily on 2/6/09




Did Jesus spank anyone?
Did Jesus hit anyone?

Still hitting, degrading, humiliating, children? Get out of the dark ages.
---deb on 5/12/08


It makes me sick to read how many so called christians think it is ok to humiliate their children rather than speaking the Word to them instead of hitting.. the rod is used to redirect your path.. move you, not hit..if you love your children you will teach them Gods word every day and have a relationship with them.. my mother did not love me and she tried once to hit me that way and i fought back and prevented her from accomplishing her sick mind out on me
---bonnie on 5/10/08


Do you mean that while you are beating on her you both are doing it at the same time. God have mercy. Please have mercy.
---catherine on 3/6/08


That is somewhat of a loaded question, it would sure seem 15 is pushing the age thing.
However, if the spanking works, and that child knows you truly love them, I would say go with it. I feel a good spanking over the buttocks is certainly not abuse. Although many in our 'correct society' may say otherwise.
---Daniel on 3/5/08


I would say yes.She is too old she's now a woman.When I was 13 my daddy stopped spanking me.He said I was too old as I was now a woman in his opinion and he wasn't even a Christian until a few months before he died at 68.
---shirley on 2/10/08




WHAT! You 'spank' your wife? That is absurd, does she spank you when you 'need' it?
That sir is abuse, to a 15 yr. old, and especially to your wife!
---NVBarbara on 2/10/08


Mary ... But she is grateful for the spankings!
---alan_of_UK on 2/10/08


You don't mean to tell us you actually spank your wife on occasion?!!! :O She's not your child, she's your partner!!!
---Mary on 2/9/08


I think that you do a good job, later in live she will be gratefull for it that her parents did spank er when she needed it.
a spanking can not be wrong as long as you give it for the wright reasons.
never give a spanking when you are angry, allways tell her wy she gets it.
a whole lot of people would be better of when they had a spanking in their young years and even grown ups need it sometimes, my wife gets it some times when she deserves it nd she is gratefull for that.
ilovan,
holland.
---ilovan on 2/9/08


She is your daughter, living in your home still. And she is stillyour responsibility according to law. If she has been raised up by using spankings for corrections,no need to stop now. This will only open the door for misbehavoir without fearful circumstances. Example: you don't put your hand into the fire, because you ar eafraid of the pain of being burned. Samething in my views. This is the way that we learn. Everything here on earth learn the same way. Think about it.
---sam on 11/3/07


2)Not many years from now she will need to relate to men(that is if she choose to be heterosexual after this experience)and will think it normal that love comes through violence (that is if she does not HATE men).
This action toward a female child is different than an older male child recieving physical correction from a father. Men are more agressive and the boy does not have to relate on a sexual level to a man in a marital relationship in a few years after his teens.
---jody on 10/19/07


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2)Dad, if you want to teach your daughter to make good decisions on her own. If you want her to know the meaning of love. If you want her to grow up to ACT LIKE LIKE a lady, then treat her with love and respect,washing her in the word and TREAT HER LIKE a LADY. Do you spank or beat your wife. Wife would you let him spank you? Maybe you should be spanked for afew years and see what develops in your pshchi.
---jody on 10/19/07


1)Fathers are not to exasperate their children so as to discourage them. We are to bring them up in the love and admonishion of the lord. Even with small children, spanking should be a last resort. How could a loving parent want to smack their off spring around in the first place. Look how gently our Heavenly Father disiplines us. This young girl is a victum of abuse. She is learning lifetime lessons of how to relate to male authority and love through her father.
---jody on 10/19/07


No! where is your and your husband's wisdom. You are Suppose to have it when you are raiseing children. Your daughter is almost an adult. Her parents needs some kind of help. If you are an unbeliever by all means get whatever help that's out there. Ofcourse, no counselor can do the job that Jesus can do.
---catherine on 10/19/07


The moderator is SO correct. Any female over the age of 9 has her female organs intact and studies have shown that spankings or injuries to the lower back or abdominal area can cause permanent damage to these organs! Not only is this demening and inappropriate for a man to conduct himself in this way towards a young lady, it is also injurious. It is good that you asked. This is abuse and will have long term affects psycologically. She will expect men to abuse her and YOUR approval tells her it is normal!
---jody on 10/19/07


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After a certain age smacking/spanking a child is a little over the top. In early years maybe but one would like to think a child younger has little understanding of why things they do are wrong after certain ages it's not a matter of wrong or right but understanding of life. That for me takes communication, not violence.
---Carla5754 on 10/19/07



Pro 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child, if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.

The good shepard does not beat the sheep. he prods the sheep with his rod. He constantly redirects the lost and wondering and if the sheep will not take instruction. Then only then he breaks the calfs leg and picks it up and carries the sheep till it heals. Tethered to this broken sheep learnng to hear its masters voice. Carried from wondering.

Not beaten into submission.
---Andrea on 10/18/07


I don't see anything wrong with it, if thats the only way to get through to her, but today it can lead her to call the police on you for abuse, even thought your were in the right. Do like the moderator said for now on take things away from them instead.
---ANN on 10/18/07


Personally when I had to live with my parents from time to time over the years, I always had to live by the house rules. If I did not, then I could either move out or accept the consequences of my actions. Since I could not move out, I was on occasion spanked. This happened three times in my 20's and twice in my 30's. I am now a successful married, professional male in my 50's. So, it worked for me at least.
---Steve on 10/18/07


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Proverbs 23:13,, Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Proverbs 23:14,, Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Do not hesitate to correct a child, even if you have to use a rod. You will not kill him, but you will save his soul from hell.

I also want you to consider reading Psalms chapter one.
---Whisper on 10/5/07


"Either of you can spank your child as long as she lives under your roof." Are you really sure about that Sammy? I have a 34 year old son who still lives under my roof !!!!!
---RitaH on 10/5/07


Either of you can spank your child as long as she lives under your roof.
---Sammy on 10/5/07


Spanking a child that old is considered sexual abuse in most jurisdictions. Good luck with your prison sentence when child protective services finds out.
---Galen on 7/16/07


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I think that 15 is too old to stil be spanking a child. That should be for younger children when it is necessary. I think taking away priviliges is more appropriate for older children.
---maryj9396 on 6/20/07


There are several OT admonishes to use corporal punishment to save the child from destruction and hell.(my paraphrase).It does not mean beat the child for every minor mistake or transgression.But for bigger things,that really are important,spanking is necessary,to leave a permanent impression.Using a "rod"or instrument of punishment is preferable than using loving hands.Then you take the loving hands and explain to child why punishment was necessary,kiss them,hold them...love them.
---judy on 6/20/07


Angela, even tho your Aunt hits you, NO you can not hit her back! Does your parents give her permission to hit you?
More importantly, why even push your aunt to the limit? You say you're only 16, but that is old enough to communicate with your aunt instead of getting in hitting fights! Somebody has got to act like an adult here.
---sue on 6/20/07


I'm only 16 years old can my aunt still spank me if I push her to that point and can I hit her back if she does?
---Angela on 6/20/07


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I think we need to get back to the old school of spanking and that to spank kids on the bare butt when it's needed, even if it means using the belt on the bare.
---Gregnco on 4/26/07


My son is 13 and never has been spanked and has never needed it. I on the other hand had my bare bottom spanked and paddled until I was 15 and i needed it I actually think I should have had it until I was 18.Some kids need it to keep them in line.You have to know your own child.
---John on 2/14/07


Some kids respond better to other discipline..my 13 year old son has never been spanked, but he dosent need it. I was very responsive to a good bare-bottomed spanking.My parents stopped when i was 12.After that I went out of control..smoking, drinking shop lifting you name it..I knew I needed a good bare bottomed paddling and at some level was asking for it..My parents quit too early I should have had that kind of discipline all the way into my late teens at least..my life would have been better..
---John on 12/27/06


Alan of UK::It is strange that a simple thing pertaining to the bible in correction of ones own flesh & blood can reach such proportions as to inveigle the Govts. Satan sure has a long arm to reach out & make more fuel for his furnaces while good & honest people have their hands tied.We need prayer & action.
---Emcee on 12/3/06


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Alan...I hope that counter-political action is in progress...against...this political agenda...Father's are becoming powerless...the Influence of a Father is almost non-existent...which it will be...if this bill is passed by the U.N. There does, however need to be a distinction between "discpline" and "abuse" for the protection of the family. ~rachel~
---Reiter on 12/2/06


Alan is correct. This is madness. Correction, sometimes physical, is needed if our children are to grow up as decent human beings. We only have to look at what is now happening in British schools since physical punishment was banned. However, it used to be the case that some teachers didn't know when to stop and were abusive, as are some parents. There is a fine line between fair punishment and cruelty/abuse/humiliation.
---m.p.a. on 12/1/06


I think unless England, Ireland, France, USA, etc. have no problem with crime or respect the popular methods of correction aren't working. I think spanking (NOT beating, big difference)used as a final resort punishment works well. I see too many moms/dads in stores explaining how it is not polite to spit, yell, throw, run, etc, infinitum, isle after isle after isle. I agree there's an age spanking no longer works (I don't know a magic number like 10)but each person has differing ages we respond to.
---mikefl on 11/30/06


if they are 15 years old and you are thinking that they are doing something that needs a spanking then nothing is too drastict. 15 year old should not need spanking, thats only for lil kids. you can take things away, all of their things if you have to. believe me, it will hurt, sometimes more than a spanking! Then again, what are they doing that you think they need to be spanked? even with lil kids, rebellion should be the only reason for spanking.
---chestnut_burr on 11/30/06


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I think that at age 15, it is humiliating to be spanked. There are more appropriate ways to dicipline a child that age. If you are questioning it, maybe you should look deeper and have a discussion with your husband and daughter about what might be more effective.
---reva on 11/30/06


Sue, Understand that spanking isn't the only solution. It takes more than spanking a child to make him learn. Many people spank but don't explain anything to the kids. They don't spend time together as a family, eat together, pray together, study the Bible together, etc. With a complete environment of a truly Christian home with all components, including biblical discipline, things are better. In the instance of the 15 year old, there is something else missing besides the spanking. Hope this helps.
---jason on 11/30/06


One of our UK "rights" groups is lobbying the United Nations to ban any physical punishment of any child for any offence at any age.
Now I think that is mad
---AlanUK_quent5969 on 11/30/06


I feel spanking is appropriate. Kids today don't understand taking things away. These children today have so much given to them that they don't appreciate what they have. They don't even care if you take something away from them. I was spanked when I disobeyed, and it didn't hurt me a bit.
---Joyce on 11/30/06


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Jason, None of my parents or grandparents were spanked. I truly think it just depends on the child. Whatever, to spank a child until they are 15 seems wrong, like it isn't working.
---sue on 11/30/06


Jason, My grandparents used to tell me that back then there was a lot of crime, like today, only that we didn't hear about it as much because today there is TV News, internet, radio and all kinds of media telling us every little crime. Back then, they didn't have that, but they still had crime.
---sue on 11/30/06


No Alan...I'm [pretty much] Good now...because I Want to be...but it took a while for me to reach the Maturity level of Wanting to Live Right...rachel...[i wasn't at this place at 15...or 16...and so on...]
---Reiter on 11/30/06


Matthew, So your parents rational with taking things away was better than Gods plan for training in the Bible?
---jason on 11/30/06


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100 years ago people used biblical standards when discipling their childre. Even the School teachers, Principals and other authoritive people spanked children when they were bad. Did it make the children scared of their parents? Did it make them hate their authority? My Grandparents and the elderly I have pastored had TREMENDOUS respect for their parents and teachers. cont...
---jason on 11/30/06


#2 From the elderly I've heard many stories about getting spanked and how the needed it! Were they worse off than us? The crime rate was lower, less rape, people respected each other, and CHILDREN had respect. All without ritalin,and a psychyatrist on every corner giving us excuses for why our children are bad. Today? Well I just don't think WORLDLY psycology OVERALL is working! Is their one person who would dare say that our children today are more productive, respectful, and all without SPANKING?
---jason on 11/30/06


The fear of my Mother taking my video games away was more than enough. I was a GOOD boy trust me.
---Matthew on 11/30/06


Reiter: You are still doing it inspite of maturity:Rebellion knowing its right but choosing whats wrong. God is much greater than Psychologist Skinner.Temper with love. not fear of Fire.
---Emcee on 11/29/06


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Reiter ... either deliberately or otherwise, you misunderstand what I ask. Let's put it another way ... Do you still only behave properly because you fear physical punishment?
---AlanUK_quent5969 on 11/29/06


oh but it did...Alan...it works well...i favor discipline over the lack there of...rachel...
---Reiter on 11/29/06


Reiter ... If the fear of (physical) punishment had not conditioned you by the age of 14, what makes you think it would have done so by the age of 20
---AlanUK_quent5969 on 11/28/06


That is such a good question, Alan...yes...I would have stayed well behaved...had I been disciplined past 14...because "fear of punishmen" [refer to psychologist: Skinner] is enough to make somebody be obedient...rachel...
---Reiter on 11/28/06


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Reiter ... OK ... but had trhe spnking continued, would you have remained properly behaved?
And what would have happened if, say at age 20, the spanking ceased?
---AlanUK_quent5969 on 11/27/06


nope alan...i knew right vs. wrong...i just chose not to listen...rachel

[that is what rebellion is, alan, knowing the right But choosing the wrong]
---Reiter on 11/27/06


Rachel ... I wonder whether it was the sudden freedom from inappropriate discipline (such as spanking up to the age of 14) which led to yuor disobedience.
Maybe if your discipline had progressed to being more of a reasoning nature (to explain why things were wrong rather than just being beaten for them) you would have understood how to behave properly
---AlanUK_quent5969 on 11/26/06


..."a 15 year old is not too old to disobey"... NO-ONE is too old to disobey but there must be a cut-off age where spanking is no longer considered the suitable punishment. I believe this cut-off comes long before the age of 15.
---m.p.a. on 11/26/06


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Robert is Right...in this respect..."a 15 year old is not too old to disobey"...hey...I did the majority of my rebellion at 15...and that was my First year w/out any discipline...I did more damage to myself in one year than a submissive daughter would have done in a lifetime...freedom is not found through rebellion--ever--if discipline keeps rebellion in check...it is well worth it...NO...I didn't appreciate discipline then...but I DO NOW...rachel...
---Reiter on 11/25/06


I guess it's kind of like a gun when people say guns kill, but actually its the people (hand) that shoots the gun.
Why would a child flinch every time your hand moved, unless your hand was moving in a threatning way?
---sue on 11/23/06


I gotta agree with Sue on this one--kids are not dumb--they know when they're being touched with affection, and when they're in trouble!
---Mary on 11/22/06


Jared ... Are you parent, or spanked your child?
You can inflict far more and crueller pain by wielding a weapon, instead of yuor hand.
What you say about the child flinching when he sees your hand move is nonsense. Would you fear the hand raised in anger rather than a gun? The child knows whose hand wields the weapon.
Besides, in the case of such punishment, should not the parent feel some of the pain himself? and the use of the hand allows this to happen, as well as limiting the damge don.
---AlanUK_quent5969 on 11/22/06


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but sue the rod is what gives te pain not the hand. If a person uses the hand to spank the kid will flench every time the hand moves. And it is a point of self control. If you have to go and get the rod you will be less likely to BEAT the kid for no reason. I've seen many kids get beat by a hand for little things. I'm not saying that the rod can't be used for abuse but there is more self control (unless you carry the rod with you always)
---Jared on 11/22/06


I find this idea of not using one's hand to spank the child because then he will know the punishment or whatever is actually coming from the parent, is so ridiculous. I mean, if you use a 'rod' it will be connected to the hand. How dumb do we think our kids are? Dumb enough to believe that the rod is spanking him all alone?!
---sue on 11/22/06


I do not disagree with using corpral punishment when a child is young. I think it is best to use something other than your hand so your hand is not seen as the source of punishment. This is what my parents did and if they started walking toward the "rod" we started acting right. But there is an age when a child needs to be taught as an adult. When a child begins to have knowledge of right and wrong we can spare the rod and convince them of the damage they do to themselves and to others.
---Jared on 11/21/06


My parents never spanked us after we were in 4th grade. And I have never needed to spank my son because talking to him has been enough (I don't know why but it is and he is a very well behaved kid)
---Jared on 11/21/06


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Jason, wow, I never knew that about breaking a sheeps leg. Thank you so much for your reply and I have no doubt your kids are wonderfully behaved and will be great assets to the community. God bless.
---sue on 11/21/06


Children who aren't disciplined may develop criminal tendencies because they adopt the false notion that 'they can do no wrong'...it is a danger to himself and society...when a child doesn't learn about Right and Wrong. Being told 'no' just doesn't always work. If we want to see the Juvenille Halls overflow, just remove a Father's right to chastise his children...and that is the way the law is leaning...to render Fathers/Husbands POWERLESS.

~rachel~
---Reiter on 11/21/06


Jared, No problem for the miscommunication. When we deal with the rod, we shouldn't use the "wporlds" rational. We don't need their psycology. Is it not better that a child is properly spanked, in love, at home while they are youngfor having a smart mouth, than to leave them be so that someone else can BEAT them up for their smart mouth later. I make no appologies for my biblical use of the rod. Thank you for the apology, tis accepted in love my Brother.
---jason on 11/21/06


Sue, The term "hit" is loosely being used here. I don't "hit" my children. I apply it to the correct part of the body (hind end) without leaving the first mark. cont...
---jason on 11/21/06


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Sue, Concerning the rod as a shepherds rod, one can easily see that the shepherd's rod was for guidance AND correction. A word study will show that whenever a sheep wen to strtay, the shepherd would chastise it with the rod. It wasn't uncommon for the shepherd to break one leg of the sheep with the rod to make it humble. He would then carry the sheep until it's wounds healed as it learned to Love the shepherd. I don't breaks my kids legs but I hope I have made my point that it was used for correction.
---jason on 11/21/06


I do not say this with certainty, if you have documentation to refute, I will humbly accept. Has anyone read in the newspaper about a Menonite, or Brethren commiting murder, robbing banks, or raping women. I know they are flesh and tis possible but I don't recall ever hearing of this being a problem. Might I suggest this may be because of their choice of child training? We live among these people and have learned a lot about child training from them and they DO use the rod. Just a thought.
---jason on 11/21/06


Rachel: LOL! assualt weapon!lol. Jason, I think, was saying that 'the rod' in Proverbs meant a thing to hit kids with. I disagreed. I dont think anybody should be hit by anybody, especially kids.
And, I AGREE. Some of these blogs are sick. Our kids here, USA, would be taken away also if we did that stuff.
---sue on 11/20/06


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