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Can I Date A Non-Christian

Am dating a young man. I am saved, he hasn't yet. Can I continue this relationship with him or I have to leave him?We love each other and he doesn't hinder me in church activities or Bible classes though he doesn't attend them. Is 1Cor 13-14 to be applied for dating as well?

Moderator - Yes and as a Christian you shouldn't be dating him.

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 ---mary on 1/12/06
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have you considered being saved by losing your faith? I would imagine he is hoping you open your eyes and come to him, in salvation through not being delusional.
---David on 8/10/10


If the two of you are not committing any sexual sin, then I believe it's ok. If he causes you to stumble, then you need to get away from him. I've heard of people getting saved because they liked someone who was a believer, but you have to be really careful not to commit any kind of sexual sins, including sensual kissing! If you really love this person, and the two of you are already getting physically involved, then I can reassure you that you will hender him from getting saved! DO NOT RUIN YOUR WITNESS WITH HIM!!! If he causes you to disobey the Word, then you must leave him, because you will have ruined your witness. He will not get saved if you stumble in your relationship with him, because he will doubt God's power to change people!
---Bryan on 2/7/09


I guess there could be a point there dare I go there..... scripture supports marriage after the fact concerning two believers, the hubby not being able to contain which is another subject.... Not a christian with the unbeliever.

The unbeliever part is if you both marry unbelieving one gets saved and the unbelieving cannot live with the believing partner you are not under bondage because you are called to peace.
---Carla5754 on 2/5/09


The Bible clearly states do not be unevenly yoked. When you date someone there is always the remote possibility you will marry them. So why play with sin? God says don't do it. If you do it you are in rebellion.
Of course he isn't interfering with your church attendance right now. This is one of the greatest deceptions of satan.
We are told to guard our affections. Once you become emotionally attached it is hard then to break away. So obey God first.


Jesus said "If you love me you will obey me"
---Tsuanne on 1/24/09


Wow - you bring up some amazing points on this blog. Fornication is just fornication without the covenent, but it's true, I believe it's a man's responsibility to "endow" the woman to be his wife once they have committed the sin. That's why it seems so illogical to ask the question "Should I leave my unequally yoked partner with whome I've fornicated with" after that fact. I believe God would rather see them together than to find other more "appropriate" partners.

The only question to this is in the OT where the Jews were coming back to the homeland and were made to divorce their foreign wives. Who can make sense of it?
---bina on 1/23/09




Read the scriptures on unequally yolked with unbelievers Google the subject you will see that not everyone is condemning you but warning you of the heart ache and years of misery you'll face disobeying Godly advice.


As elders we are there for your learning well being and spiritual growth The rest is up to you, you have a long life ahead of you to repent in depression at leisure.



Marry and learn the hard way or Give him up before your emotionally tied to this darkness OR Get shut of the situation where you can study the bible on Marriage/divorce re-marriage,love, forgiveness, and at least you will be able to make a wiser more informed choice than the one you are in right now.
---Carla3939 on 1/21/09


Read the scriptures on unequally yolked with unbelievers Google the subject you will see that not everyone is condemning you but warning you of the heart ache and years of misery you'll face disobeying Godly advice.


As elders we are there for your learning well being and spiritual growth The rest is up to you, you have a long life ahead of you to repent in depression at leisure.



Marry and learn the hard way or Give him up before your emotionally tied to this darkness OR Get shut of the situation where you can study the bible on Marriage/divorce re-marriage,love, forgiveness, and at least you will be able to make a wiser more informed choice than the one you are in right now.
---Carla3939 on 1/21/09


Ashleigh:-You do sound pretty young and a new look christian.Love in the eyes of God is different to the love you talk of :Jesus says "don't be unequally yoked"Heed the advice of Nicolette.Hasty actions produce short and violent upheavals,resulting in tears broken bones insults and lowers your self esteem.
---Mic on 1/20/09


One void of the word!
---Carla3939 on 1/20/09


Ive been dating a non christian for 6 months, he knows im a christian and hes fine with it.What kind of witness is someone who cant be bothered taking the time of day to be with a non believer.
---ashleigh on 1/17/09




I had that same niggling question while dating my ex fiance, and ignored it, until God ruffled me up so much that i had to face up and answer it! I prayed to God for wisdom, and I got my answer from Him. We have just gone thru a very painful breakup. The only one who can answer this for you is God. Ask Him, and please listen carefully.
---nicolette on 11/27/07


I think that yes you can still date him because as long as you are strong in your faith and you are praying and trying to get him to know christ there is nothing wrong. It just all depends how strong you are
---mae on 11/18/07


Absolutely not you cannot date him. 2 Corinthians 6:14 -- Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
---wes on 3/26/07


Absolutely not you cannot date him. 2 Corinthians 6:14 -- Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
---wes on 3/26/07


Tonya, perhaps your mum got saved after marrying your dad. If she was saved before marriage she was disobedient and deliberately made herself unequally yoked. If you know scripture you know that is wrong and now you are telling someone else to do the same. We should never encourage anyone to do something that the bible says is wrong.
---M.P. on 7/26/06


I feel if he is not hindering you and it works for you it's okay. My parents have been married for 24 year and My mom is saved and my dad is not.
---tonya3849 on 7/26/06


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If I just put a little dog poop in your peanut butter would you eat the sandwich? Not a lot, just a tiny drop! I'd just dip the end of a sewing needle in the pile! Is that really enough to contaminate your sandwich? Seriously - this guy is nothing but a little dog poop in your peanut butter sandwich. You decide.
---Laughable on 7/24/06


It depends on the relationship, You could win him over to christ,My parents have been married for 24 years, My mom is saved my dad is not, but they make it work.
---tonya3849 on 7/24/06


You must leave him because you are unequally yoked, which does apply to dating also.
---Helen_5378 on 7/24/06


I say you could be the one to bring him to Christ by your good actions etc as the bible says..who knows, he could bring in a friend as well. My husband is a nonbeliever and am still praying for him. Trust in God and put your whole belief/faith in Him..God knows His people and He will bring them in in His own time..not ours..I am patiently waiting too...
---jana on 7/24/06


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Why waste your time? While he may allow you to attend church now, what about the future? Let's pretend you get married - will he allow the children to attend church? What type of example will he present to his children? Frankly, I've done too much counseling of Christian and non-Christian married couples to see anything but heartache in the future if you continue to date him.
---WIVV on 2/5/06


You have to be careful. If he accepts Jesus Christ just to be with you, then that is not good for his soul because he is doing it with a selfish motive. You should not be yoked with him in the first place! God can't bless disobedience!
---Peter on 1/17/06


My definition of fornication is the same as yours, Molly. Why make such a song and dance of my simple observation? ... I was not even expressing an opinion.
Now Molly I ask you a question ... why are you so keen to assume that Mary is sleeping with her date?
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/17/06


That's why, in Proverbs, Solomon charged his sons to beware of harlots... BUT, marriage is not just predicated by sexual intercourse - there is a covenant made. So, fornication - no covenant... marriage - covenant. Both are the bringing together or making the flesh "one." There is a difference... that's why sex before marriage is fornication and sex after marriage - outside the marriage is adultery. Both are sin - but one breaks a God ordained covenant.
---daphn8897 on 1/17/06


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LOL!.....OK, I pose the question again- to both you, Alan, and to Steve- "What is your definition of fornication?"
---Molly on 1/17/06


c'mon Molly ... did I say any of that?
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/17/06


Part 2: Now John, everywhere you look in the bible..when "TWO" Become "ONE"flesh they become husband and wife. (GEN 2:24)(MATT 19:5-6)(MARK 10:8)(1 COR 6:16)(EPH 5:31) and that is just a few examples of two becomeing one or husband a wife.
---Steve on 1/16/06


John, Sorry I just can not see that. Exodus 22:16 says..And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. Now "endow" does not mean get a piece of paper. The dictionary says..."to furnish with an income; especially : to make a grant of money providing for the continuing support or maintenance of " Part 1
---Steve on 1/16/06


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steve. The Bible is clear in Ex. 22:16 that if a single man has sex with a single woman that they should get married. Now if they were already automatically married as you say they are then why would God tell them to get married?
---john on 1/16/06


C'mon Alan, you're not going to say that just sleeping together makes people 'married in the eyes of God" are you? Casually shacking up does not carry the same commitment as being lawfully joined together in marriage. A man must be legally joined to a woman in order to call her his wife, and the word says in Eph 5:31 "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his WIFE, and they two shall be one flesh." What is your definition of fornication?
---Molly on 1/16/06


Actually, Molly, there I have heard that there are instances in the Bible when sleeping with a man actually meant you were committed to him, without a formal marriage contract. I think that is what Steve meant.
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/16/06


Steve- sorry, but sleeping with someone you are dating does not make you married- it makes you a fornicator
---Molly on 1/16/06


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Mary, you can do anything you want. The question you must ask is SHOULD you?
---NurseRobert on 1/12/06


Steve ... are you the same steve who writes on other blogs and things 15 year old girls should be spanked? If not, can I suggest you add a further identifier to your name so we do not confuse you with him.
---alan8869_of_UK on 1/12/06


Here is a shock for you...If you sleeping with this person...your already married to him. If your not sleeping with him, and you want to continue dating him, I can not find in the word of God that you can, but remember, Paul said I would rather you be as myself(unmarried)
---Steve on 1/12/06


I have to somewhat agree with Rebecca...BUT, I would have a serious heart to heart talk with him, and SOON. You stated that you love each other- then is your dating relationship leading to marriage? Because under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you EVER marry him unless he accepts the Lord Jesus as his savior (and dont marry him immediately afterward either- there are a lot of me who 'pretend' to become a Christian just to get thier girlfriends to the alter, then it's back to their old ways, so BE CAREFUL)
---Molly on 1/12/06


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Any person that you date can be a prospective husband and, if you live as a Christian, being married means, that unless death or adultry are causative...this is a life-time thing, despite Hollywood's example.
Hear me on this as someone who has done just that..married a non-believer: You can't and won't change him but, he is very likely to change YOU! it is heinously damaging, though it seem harmless now.
---Rebecca on 1/12/06


If you got saved while you two were together then I don't think that scriptures applies to you. If you don't go around him and you leave him, it would deveastate himm blaming God which will do more harm than good. Just like a marriage, if the woman gets saved before the husband that doesn't mean she should divorce him. Show him the God in you. Now when your b/f starts hindering you on spiritual things, then I would think of just being friends.
---Rebecca_D on 1/12/06


Can you continue to date him... yes. Should you... NO. Can you continue to be his friend? maybe. If you're asking the question, you probably already have a prompting in your heart to choose scripture over your emotions. So, walk away from him gently but firmly - explaining that your faith and relationship with Jesus is paramount.
---daphn8897 on 1/12/06


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