How To Properly Spank My Kids
I am a mother of two boys ages 3 and 5 and have decided to spank as their discipline. I was wondering if I should use an implement and if I should pull down their pants, over clothes or pants and underwear down.
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---Tammy on 1/19/06
Helpful Blog Vote (984)
I hate spankings, but none-the-less it is crucial. I have found that if I can't get the point across swiftly, only one or two strikes on the bottom, he does not learn.It also seems more effective to use a spatula, not my hand. You don't want them to fear your hands.
I sit him down and explain why he/she is about to have a spanking first and then I spank him. If the occurrence happens again, I don't warn this time, I make it fast and follow it with time out. No counting, no warnings over and over again.
Once we seem to be out of the defiance period he is in I sit down him down and explain again why he was in trouble and I make sure to end it by hugging, zerberts, tickling, something affectionate that leaves him secure.
---Vanessa on 6/2/09|
I would say pants and underwear down, that is what i do to my two boy's(twins age 5) and it works.
---Jenn on 5/26/09|
Gina,as I said before, I no longer spank my 12 & 14 year old. You see, once children are becoming adolescents, then it's time to revise your discipline techniques with them.Personally, I don't believe that this is the best time to spank your kids around.It might not even achieve its purpose.Left to me, I feel that discipline tactics should be age-specific. I mean, is it when my daughter has started her monthly periods or when my son has started having wet dreams, that I would now start spanking them. The truth is, they've outgrown it. Gina, adolescence and corporal punishment is a whole different topic volume on its own. Well, thanks for the compliment and God bless you too.
---Rita on 5/25/09|
Gina, I'm sorry for not replying your post. I didn't check back in time after my last post on Thursday. Well,we live in Maryland but i grew up partly in Nigeria where parents see nothing wrong with whipping their disobedient kids.So well,it's commonplace to see people selling such things as the cane in the open market which is where I got mine, during one of those vacations to Nigeria.Now,my husband wasn't caned as such nonetheless he had corporal punishment while growing up and he's also a disciplined man who is a physician by the way and a role model for his children.
---Rita on 5/25/09|
Rita. I'm still waiting for your reply
---gina on 5/24/09|
I recall being slapped in the face once, as a punishment for cheek. It was not effectual because I still feel the same way about the person who slapped me. All my life I riled against injustice. Instead of seeking the truth about who was at fault, both parties (usual fights were with the same sibling) would be punished. Thus discipline was administered to both, guilty and innocent alike. It made me more rebellious and resentful. A good parent will take the time to get to the bottom of every fight, or disobedience. Often there is misunderstanding. Thought and care should be spent instead of just lashing out in anger. Injustice will continue down through the generations unless training is undertaken.
---frances008 on 5/23/09|
Rita. you sound like a great mom and a strict disciplinarian. where did you get your ratten cane? I'd like to get one too. where do you live? how often do the 14 & 12 yr.old get caned? so you say you were caned back then. was your husband caned too? do you think he's well disciplined?
---gina on 5/21/09|
Gina, Well first of all, from your messages,it seems to me that you've never been caned, am I right? Well you know what, don't worry, if you administer appropriately to correct a child, it wouldn't cause injury.Trust me.OK I've 5 kids(ages 14,12,8,6,3),2girls,3boys.On average, we use corporal punishment about twice a year. Last month, my 8 year old son was the first to get caned this year.My husband and I have decided to never,ever strip our children naked for punishment because there just isn't any need for that.I believe it's like shaming the child. Besides,the impact would still be felt with their clothes on so they always have their full clothes on. And we don't believe in rituals like bending /stretching over the knee etc for punishment.
---Rita on 5/21/09|
Rita. do you EVER spank on the bare tush or ALWAYS with the pants up? how many kids do you have ? and what are their ages? also on average how often would you say you use the cane? a few times a week, or a few times a month? also why don't you bend them over so you have better aim? if you strike anywhere else but their Tush it could be very dangerous! thank you ang gd. bless
---gina on 5/21/09|
Explaining to your kids what they did was wrong is NOT PUNISHMENT. Therefor you are teaching htem that there is no consiquence for sin. Many, many people in the Bible were punished for their sins. Jesus showed us what the punishment we deserved for our sins was: crusifiction. Do you know how painfull that is? (Not that I've been cruscified before)
God didn't just pretend Jesus was a sinner adn tell him what he did wrong. He PUNISHED him in our place. And hte punishment was INTENSE PHYSICAL PAIN.
---Brandon on 5/20/09|
I've replied but it's not up yet. Probably it got lost in transit. Nevertheless I'll give it another shot
---Rita on 5/20/09|
Gina. Sure I've been on the receiving end of the cane(both bamboo and rattan) before very well,back when I was growing up. And as far as this is concerned, I use the rattan which is slender and flexible as opposed to the bamboo which is sturdy and rigid and therefore is actually more intense.
Of course, you won't expect them to walk away straight because that shows the spanking has made no impression and if that happens then I'll like to know the reason why.Well I'm yet to experience such with my kids.
Anyway,the cane does not split the skin except when it's applied with an absolutely inhumane force, on the bare behind ,several times and God forbid I do that to my children.
---Rita on 5/20/09|
MARY. Personally, when kids reach around 11/12, Junior high, adolescent, then it's time to withdraw the cane. I let my adolescents( 12 & 14) know that I won't treat them like babies so long as they act responsibly.I remind them: "If you decide to act like a baby, I'll treat you like one. I wouldn't hesitate to deal with you like I would your younger siblings, but be ready to receive it in multiples of your age. I spank rarely because I believe that whichever tools I employ in my parenting, must not be overused. The cane is least employed in our home and used sparingly by their dad and I. We give enough warnings before corporal punishment, say 2-3 , any further insubordination on the matter would attract strokes of the cane.
---Rita on 5/20/09|
If you do not discipline your child, you are NOT preparing them for a godly life in the REAL WORLD! If you lash out in blind rage, that is NOT right. Anger is the most devistating tool of the devil. If you don't take the time to discipline your children, you are being selfish, and, in short, a fool. It doesn't matter if you spank your children or not, if you use your hand or a paddle, if you take away their poeseions or confine them to their room. All that matters is that you teach them ot love you, love God, love eachother, love their enemies, respect you, respect god, respect eachother, respect their enemies, and understand that their is consiquence for sin.
Guess what? This is a 12-year-old kid speaking.
---Brandon on 5/20/09|
Rita. upto what age do you cane? and how often do you cane? you didn't answer the previous post, if it was ever tried on you!
---MARY on 5/20/09|
Sue: Pain which is meant to correct does no harm but makes them strong,focused and resolute. Pain given to correct is a teacher which must be accompanied by verbal teaching to complement the effectiveness. The child learns to think before acting.
---Rita on 5/20/09|
Rita. Was that cane ever tried on you? I know that, ratten can split the skin , especially if you caned firmly. if they walked away staight without clenching or rubbing their Tush then they must have put on a dozen pairs of underpants or put a book in their pants!!!!!
---gina on 5/20/09|
People are not to be hit, no matter what age they are. There are too many other ways to teach.
---sue on 5/19/09|
yes! a Rattan Cane. that's the way to go.remember that fay kid that messed up in singapore and got punished with a Rattan Cane? they took his pants down too, and administered across his bare buttocks. Do you think he'll ever try making trouble again? his butt will remind him very very fast?
---george on 5/19/09|
I spank my kids on rare occasion using a rattan cane,giving 1 to 6 strokes depending on the age and misbehavior.Administered on the clothed bottom,I don't strip my children naked. If my child earns a spanking, I take him/her to my room and talk briefly about the behavior . I'll then let him know how many strokes he will receive before I begin. He would then stand in front of me while I take firm hold of one hand. It's done in private. After calming down, we talk and explain things and I always tell my kids that they're free to say anything on their mind.I don't spank for childhood playfulness. But for willful disobedience, I'll cane a child firmly.
---Rita on 5/19/09|
spanking was always done in all generations. I remember being spanked by mom. and yes pants were down,and underpants came down too sometimes(only if she felt it was needed). I really didn't like it,so I made sure not to get in trouble much. now I administer it the same way on my 2 boys (16 and 12).people are are amazed how well disciplined they are. thank you.Mary
---miami_beach on 5/11/09|
I've been a teacher and I see the exact opposite. Kids from families that fail to consistently and reasonably displine often end up with problems. As preschoolers, my kids got beat up by a friends kids. That friend did not believe in physically discplining her own kids. What happened when her kids beat up my kids? This mom lovingly went up to them put her arm them and cojouled them. Now almost 16 years later, her two kids show what can happen when a child is not taught and disciplined. One has already been in prison twice and the other can't or won't hold down a job, but somehow comes up with money for his drug addiction. I know it isn't all me or my husband, but our own kids are now happily married and stable productive citizens.
---Sophia on 5/10/09|
The words "Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me" refers to the father's protection of us from the world, and from ourselves.
Shame is painful like incarceration. While a child is young he or she may respond to nothing else but physical pain (that isn't to say injury, either physical or mental). Continually check your intentions to ensure you are causing neither.
An older child understands future consequences like grounding or the loss of privileges. Stop spanking then and use these.
You receive different opinions. I think neglecting to discipline is abusive and others think spanking is. I have nine children and three were adopted from truly abusive parents.
This is no popularity contest do what your child needs.
---Paul on 5/10/09|
Sarah: Have you asked your children how they feel?What is their reaction, by the walk down the hall naked, to a place where they will be spanked. Why do you want to embarrased your children? non of what you are doing is teaching your children to listen or behave.Maybe to fear you, Do you want your children to fear you or Love you? There is Always,always another way to discipline your children.
---BB on 5/9/09|
Sophia: Dickenzien parenting skills like spanking should be left in the history books beat your child once to often and risk losing them.Many children run away from home to escape violence unfortunately this is something I see on a daily basis(I am a social worker)
---Anon on 5/8/09|
Please Do not strike your children. There are some many ways to show your children that you are the adult not them. I was in your situation not to long ago and my friend gave me 1-2-3 magic a book on child disapline and my out of control son isno longer so. I implore you to pick up yhe book before you pick up you hand to strick your children.
---Jacqui on 5/7/09|
I think that the punishment should be given as soon after the problem as possible so that #1 the child quickly and easily associates the punishment with the incorrect action, and #2 so that the parent is more likely to be consistent. If the parent waits, they often forget or lose heart because they don't want to punish the child later on when the child may not be acting up. The only situation where quick punishment should not happen is when the parent feels that they may not have control of their anger. I believe that more harm than good is done by punishment when punishment doesn't stop at a reasonable threshhold.
As to stripping a child prior to spanking I see no need for it and think it is too wierd.
---Sophia on 5/7/09|
Sarah, you're suppose to disapline your children to TEACH them in LOVE. Not teach them by embarrassing them to the point of I dont know what. It's certainly NOT a control issue either. NO wonder there are so many strange people. Your blog makes me see red and I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense but I"m too angry.
---sue on 5/6/09|
Sarah may God have mercy on your children for having an unloving cruel mother ...hopefully someday your children will REMEMBER their hateful mother when she is old and feable leaving you all alone in a nursing home to rot away when they REMEMBER their sadistic upbringing by you
it's not too late to turn back from your warped ways seek help from your church ...but seeing your post I know you don't share this with your congregation if you attended
---Rhonda on 5/6/09|
RitaH ask why the naked walk down the hall? I feel like by undressing my children and holding there hand while walking them down the hall to the site where the spanking is going to take place gets there full attention. It adds a little embarassment as well as letting them know that I am in complete control of the situation as I undress them. They become completely aware of their actions and the consequences that are going to follow. Not meant to be horrific or anything like that,just an experience they remember if they think about misbehaving again.
---Sarah on 5/5/09|
talk before spank then three spanks
---tyler on 5/4/09|
Sophia: When I said that i took away a toy or prized position, IT was for a Certain Amount of time. Which can and has been given back. One cannot NOT take back spanking.
Another blogger said:
deliberatly take off your child clothes, walk them down the hall, then calmly get your paddle and spank them, sounds like a horror movie. That is Psch. terror. Just put your self in their place at the specific time, age,etc.
---BB on 4/29/09|
at a young age I think its enough with the pants on ,BUTT when they get older and wiser and still misbehaving that's when it should be administered across the bare buttocks. don't abuse nor bruise only discipline.
---maria on 4/29/09|
All punishment naturally has to take away something of value.
Sending them to their room is essentially imprisoning them, denying them their freedom and withholding your affection.
Denying them dinner is making them go hungry, depriving them of nourishment and making them fear about starvation.
Taking away a toy or valued item is like stealing from them and violating their private property rights.
What I am pointing out is that those who get all up in arms about spanking, don't seem to have a problem with these other things. If spanking starts a circle of violence, don't the above punishments likewsie teach kids to starve others, take away freedom and confine people unwillingly, or take other's property (steal)?
---Sophia on 4/28/09|
Why do you need to inflict physical violence on a child? worse still use a weapon(wooden spoon paddle belt etc).Do you not think there is enough violence in the world without bringing into the home. I have five sons oldest is nineteen,youngest two and never needed to hit any them, loss of privileges or grounding or sent to bed worked just fine. Take time to explain to your children the rights and wrongs teach them humanity and understanding teach them well and avoid hitting out in frustration.
---Anon on 4/28/09|
You should never pull their pants down.. it makes them more embarrassed and humiliated that sorry for what they did, you should use nothing but your hand because then it makes it more of a game when you have to go get the "paddle" or whatever you would use, and you know your strength with your hand, if your hand stings your not spanking your beating...
---Shelia on 4/27/09|
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You know why you have great behaving children? Because they are so scared of your "loving beatings" you have turned them into robots. You have done nothing you should be proud of. It is funny how some christians have very different interperations of "gods word". Mr Martin, can you honestly say that God would want you to hit a child? in any way? even if you think it is with love? It is not about God, it is about your control, and you are taking the easy way out. You are a discrace.
---jem on 4/27/09|
DDM jnr Thanbks for that ... it is not custom in my country for people to call tehmselves jnr. Children are usually given quite different Christian names, which mean they can't be confused with their parents..
Are you Duane Dudley Martin jnr the same as the person who used to post here as plain Duane Dudley Martin?
Do you know who Duane is ... he started blogging at about the same time as you?
I usually disagree with Frances ... it's just on this issue that I wholeheartedly agree with what she says.
---alan8566of_UK on 4/24/09|
sarah- (3-25-09) God is not interested in you punishing them with their clothes off. It is certainly not biblical and if anybody did it to you when you were a child, they were wrong, too. "Let the children come unto Me," said God. Children are precious gifts from God, and He does not want them humiliated and intimidated. Ugly things can happen because of you undressing them like that. One day you may conclude you did the wrong thing. I pray you stop and give it up. It's an ugly, evil practice to do that. Touching them without their clothes on is almost as bad as abusing them physically. Would you do that if Jesus came and stood before you while you were getting ready to?
---Betty on 4/24/09|
sophia- (3-16-09) Withholding food is not punishment, it is cruelty. Give them food, people, for God said,"Whosoever gives a little one a drink of water only in the name of a disciple will not lose his reward." (Matthew 10:42) People should not take the children's belongings because they will harden their hearts. Teach them to love God and learn to love God yourself.
---Betty on 4/24/09|
Alan, would you like for me to change my name to Duane of USA(Would that help your confusion?).
Yes, I have 2 grandkids.
No(Duane Sr.), my dad died of cancer(Horrible death) about 10 yrs ago, thank you!
Good luck with whats coming your way...
I would agree with Frances008 more often, "IF" their wasn't so much HATE & anarchy involved with her misconceptions of Gods word and her imagination filled with conspiricy after conspiricy(911) and such,
and ANYONE who disagree's with her "ARE AGENT'S of SATAN", Not to mention the Art of War(Bull).
She bears "False" Witness against others w/o a clue to what shes saying
---Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr. on 4/24/09|
Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr has grandchildren!
Is there still a DDM senior?
I have to say I get confused by all the DDM's posting, and by Duane?
Who is who? Can anyone explain the relationships?
I agree 100% with Frances.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/24/09|
I hope you are all aware that it is to such as these children that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs. By over punishing them, are you really achieving anything? Okay, it makes you feel powerful and important, and you say your chldren love you for it. But what are your children really thinking. I guess you will never know that. I'd think really carefully before offending one of God's little ones, who believe in Him. By associating the punisher with God, you may put them off Christianity for life. Children should know beforehand what the punishment for which crime is, otherwise it is all just up to the whim and mood of the parent.
---frances008 on 4/23/09|
Sarah "After scolding them I calmly and deliberately take off ALL of their clothes MYSELF,and lead them by the hand down the hall to my bedroom where I have a chair and a wooden spoon waiting (though I do use my hand sometimes) and I put them over my lap and give them a good spanking"
Is there any reason why ALL clothes have to be removed and what is the purpose of the naked walk down the hall? Is it to humiliate or what?
---RitaH on 4/21/09|
children under the age of 7 ,is enough you spank em on the behind with pants on after that age its time to lower the pants and undies too.after 13 if you still have to spank often(meaning more than a couple of times per yr.)then you're doing something wrong
---zepy on 4/21/09|
It was outta Love, that my kids were dealt with(punishment befitting to their wrongdoing), NOT, in anger, it was more of a fear that they may turn out to be Godless little heathens and do the things "I DID",
Fair or Not(?), it is what it was and they are good, God loving productive people that love me/wife so much they all live a stones throw away, 2 of them i could throw a rock under handed and hit their house's(lol).
That in itself speaks volumes, they realise that it was "Tough Love" and it only made them stronger when it comes to other peoples(peer's)"Influence", THEY know it was outta love, and that's what matters(punishment coupled WITH Love)
---Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr. on 4/21/09|
I believe it is a parent's obligation to use spanking as discipline in serious offenses, and multiple offenses. In other words talk seriously at first for less serious offenses. A serious spanking should be using only your hand on the bare bottom with the child across your lap. Do not spank in anger, and be careful to land the swats on the rounded cheek. I don't believe implements have any place in discipline. Be careful that the spanking is warranted and not child abuse. The child should understand that you love him.
---Zed on 4/21/09|
there's nothing in the world as effective as a few good whacks across the tush !!!!! discipline the godly and biblical way not the crucket selfish minded people way!!!!
---aunty on 4/19/09|
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You do it with love but you spank. First, you explain the situation to the child. Then, follow through with your promise. The problem with children today is worse than ever before. Liberalism is destroying our children. I'm sure you've seen the smirk of a 2-year old or the mischievous smile. The discipline is done with love. I've seen the timeout lead to a child being upset and their revenge being taken out on the issuer of the motivational tool. For me, I don't think spanking should be done with the hand. The hand is a nurturing device to hold, comfort and make better. Timeouts are for sports.
---sam7489 on 4/19/09|
I have two children in college. I did not spank my children,I spoke to them, explaining what they did wrong, if they continued with the behavior, I then took away a prized possion(s) for a certain amount of time, if that did not work one by one their favorites things were gone.They learned very fast, there was nothing to play with. My son became an excellent reader.My daughter began to ask her teacher for more home work.At the end I would take them out for a treat or buy one item of their choice under a certain amount of money. I was spank and it did not work.Try telling your children YOUR expectations of them start with just 1. make it simple, start with the 5yr.the 3yr. most likely will follow.
---BB on 4/17/09|
I see nothing wrong with spanking your disobedient children bare or otherwise if done fairly, consistently and in a spirit of love.
---Keith on 4/17/09|
Sending a kid to their room works only if the child thinks it is a punishment. If their room has a stereo, tv, gameboy, xbox, etc. its really no punishment at all, its a time to get out of chores and not have to be bothered by Mom and Dad. I am not against sending kids to their room, but please be warned (by one who has already raised a few kids that seem to have turned out alright) that the sending kids to their room punishment isn't always as effective for the kid, but is often given by parents just to get the kid out of their hair.
---Sophia on 4/16/09|
I am AMAZED at how people TWIST the subject...Jody used the phrase "push and strike" instead of spank....who said ANYTHING about shoving or pushing????? some people called it "beating"....
A spanking to me is only for direct defiance...I tell them to do it, they don't do it. they KNOW this in advance. I then say calmly...I told you this, you did that, I will have to spank." I spank over clothes telling in advance how many "swats" there will be so it's controlled, not angry. Then I hold them and tell them I want them to learn to obey.
I do not spank for irresponsibility, childish behavior etc. Only for defiance.
GET A GRIP if you think a loving spanking = pushing,shoving, beating, etc.
---melinda on 4/16/09|
Duane, I'm glad I'm not one of your adult kids. My parents know how to TALK to me when we have issues!
---Mary on 4/15/09
Thats to bad Mary, WE don't have issue's(they KNOW better), And ALL my children live a stones throw away from me, and tell me I'm the best dad there every was/is.
I've been told by a Mayor, principles, doctors, police chief, preachers and MANY MANY others that I have the best well-behaved kids they have ever seen.
My own adult children tell how lucky they are/were to have a dad like me(obviously they didn't as children), but what child likes to be corrected/disciplined in the 1st place?
I've protected my kids like a shepard that loves his sheep
---Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr. on 4/16/09|
Duane Dudley Martin~ You're funny, thanks for the laugh. :)
---Anne on 4/15/09|
Duane, I'm glad I'm not one of your adult kids. My parents know how to TALK to me when we have issues!
---Mary on 4/15/09|
My children are adults now and I'll still get a hold of them if I have too...
To this day, they still know better than to make papa mad,lol.
I tell my grandkids(jokingly) to tell me if momma or daddy are being bad, so papa can whoop'em!
Nobody whoops my G-kids around me,lol
So, I guess I'm torn on this subject,lol
---Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr. on 4/15/09|
Do not spank your kids! They are old enough that a time-out would work instead. Anytime you feel like spanking your kids pray, "thank you God that I do not hit my kids". Then, put your kids in a time-out. I have a daughter who will be 2 in a few days and she responds very well to time outs (done in nanny911 fashion).
---Sue on 4/14/09|
i think you should spank your kids on their bare behind and if they had been really naughy you should use a wooden spoon to spank them.
---shane on 4/9/09|
Betty: "steveng- Learn to love God and find out what the Holy Spirit says."
I questioned God about this very topic forty years ago. He tells me the same today as he did back then. But,of course, whatever I say you are skeptical - as is your nature. Even if Jesus was posting on these blogs, people, like yourself, would be as skeptical. Jesus' post would just be another opinion.
---Steveng on 4/3/09|
Spanking is the biblical and proper way children should be disciplined.I'm not saying pants should be taken down every time they're getting a spanking , but for serious offences it should be bare bottom. take em over the knee. be calm and loving and be sure you're doing the best for them. I think all succesful people were spanked. do you even doubt if obama was whacked on his little tush bare bottomed?
---synthiya on 4/3/09|
i think you should spank your kids on there bare butt with your hand or wooden spoon depending on how bad they act thats what i do with my kids
---james on 4/3/09|
at age 3 i say start doing it at 5 well when i was a child my mum done it cause i was a girl. she grabbed me and pulled my pants downa and used a slipper or a wooden spoon. but in public she just hit me there and then but just with a hand. if i had guessed over and i was inpolite she wold grab me over her kneen and hit me with her slipper it was embarsing but that the way. You put them over your knee or over something pull there pants down and spank them but if they get older i would say use the dad.
---Louise on 4/3/09|
steveng- Learn to love God and find out what the Holy Spirit says.
---Betty on 4/2/09|
bettyw: "Children are not hardened criminals, but they can become that way if you harden their hearts. ...If you give railing for railing, what will you get? Violence."
The "spanking is wrong" experiment has failed. For over 6,000 years using the rod was accepted as healthy punishment. However, since WWII, parents have used spanking less and less. Yet the trend is that children have become more violent in today's world. We have raised a generation of children who are unruly and disobedient. Disciplining a child the Lord's way is not violence.
I am against child abuse, but I'm for using a switch - used moderately causes big pain much like a paper cut.
---Steveng on 4/1/09|
steveng- Children are not hardened criminals, but they can become that way if you harden their hearts. The Lord's mind was on love and not violence. Jesus said blessed are the peacemakers. If you give railing for railing, what will you get? Violence. It is up to the parents to teach their children to be kind and not violent, and it can't be done if you are wishy-washy and spank them. I used to spank mine, but I found out a better way that worked fine. What I wrote on 3-25-09, I found out from experience, and it will work with any child. Endear the child to you by being good to him or her and teach them to love the Lord. Take time to know them and cherish their innocence.
---bettyw on 4/1/09|
in re to 3-25-09 post of mine: Another reason children might act up is frustration. Sometimes people fence little ones in with too many orders like this one: Go to your room and play. They might be afraid to play in their rooms (some places have demonic activity, even in so called Christian homes). There is a reason a child will be bad, and you should take time to gently and lovingly find out what it is. Some people, out of habit, or a feeling of control or bad temper will deny simple little requests of the child. Sometimes, possibly even many times, their requests could be granted, and they would be happy and so would you.
---bettyw on 4/1/09|
Proverbs 22:15, 23:13-14 and 29:15 all speak of using a rod to discipline our children and save their souls from death.
Why choose an implement to spank. Your hand is just as effective to do the chore. The whole process hurts you as much as the child.
From an early age I was beaten to welts and bore resentments rather than learning a lesson and a wedge was driven into a relationship. How sad it took to becoming and adult to heal that wedge.
My children are not struck in any way. We teach our children by the example that the Lord shows to us. By talking to them and holding them accountable for their actions, explaining what was wrong, they rarely repeat the action. They are 18, 17, 15, 12 and 11 in age.
---Lesla3685 on 3/31/09|
The 6 Steps to Proper Spaking:
1) One swat
3) On the butt
4) Not hard
5) Don't be angry when you do it
The most important step of all:
6) Hugs and kisses
---djconklin on 3/31/09|
gee! I'm glad I'm not under your authority . my tush would look like it came out of a toaster oven
---mark on 3/31/09|
bettyw: "...Does He want children spanked? No."
And you know God's mind? Obviously, you haven't read the entire bible.
"Give them attention and love - that's what they need."
If all it took was a little attention and love, Adam and Eve would've been forgiven and we would all still be living in the Garden of Eden. He didn't spank, but he gave us something worse - death.
As for spanking, you punish a child that would keep him or her from going to hell. I don't recall one of the commandments as "thou shalt not break something." There are two ways to look at this though: one, did he break it by accident or, two, did he break it intentially? God has ordinances for such behavior.
---Steveng on 3/27/09|
I'm 41 now, but in my youth, my momma and daddy do not spare the rod. I was hand spanked on the bare bottom until I was 10. After that my parents used either a 1/2 inch thick wooden paddle or a leather belt that was purchased specifically for whippings. A few whippings was all it took for me to behave and do what I was told. I now have a boy, 11 and a girl, 13. Both of them know if they step out of line they get their bottoms bared and spanked. Until the age of 10 they were spanked on the bare bottom with hand only, but now they are spanked on the bare using a paddle shaped like a hairbrush. It gets the point across quite nicely, since both of them haven't had to be paddled in about 6 months.
---Patricia on 3/27/09|
It is good to see that most Christian parents understand their RESPONSIBILITY to discipline their children. 2 Tim 3:16 says, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right."(NLT)
There may be (very few) children that do not need spanking. But most will show deliberate defiance at some time in their lives. When you decide that God was wrong about spanking, (Prv 23:13 "Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them.") then you're using the Bible as a reference, picking out what YOU like and what make YOU feel good.
---Tanya on 3/27/09|
BTW, I send them to their room. Tell them to pull down their pants (they keep undies up). I use a small leather belt. I tell them what they did to earn a spanking, why it is Biblical for me to punish them in this manner, give one swat for each year of age, and afterwards tell them that I love them, and God loves them.
---Tanya on 3/27/09|
I disciplined my children with a mid-size wooden spoon over their clothes. the rules I followed were: be consistent, spanking should never be used in anger but should cause some slight discomfort, explain to your children what you expect from them before you spank so they know why they are being spanked, spank only for outright defiance, spank in private (no need to shame and embarass them), and then love your child after the spanking. Spend more time loving your child and you will not need to spank them very much or for very long. Your children will follow your directions when they love you because you loved them first. Same as our relationship with our Heavenly Father.
---Debbi on 3/27/09|