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My Girlfriend Isn't A Virgin

My girlfriend is not a virgin and I am! We have been dating for a year now and it still hurts when I think about her past! I have forgiven her, but will the hurt ever go away or will it just nag at me through a possible marriage with her.

Moderator - The odds are if it bothers you now it will be even a bigger problem after marriage. After marriage, the question will become is she having an affair. Bottomline is she forgiven and trustworthy?

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Betty, I really don't know why others would disagree with your answer. Of course you were only giving your opinion why it is better for a virgin to marry a virgin. And you even gave the reasons why,
1. Start a new clean start with their marriage.
2. Even though Mose was forgiven, he was not permitted to enter the promise land.
I didn't see anything wrong with that. Also it was your opinion which I am sure many would agree that when both are clean to make a new start it has a better chance then those who don't have a clean start. It does not quarantee success but seems a better way to start.

Oh, beware when Jerry ask you if you believe in the Ten Commandments, you know where he is going with that or you should by now.
---Mark_V. on 6/1/09

What about it, Betty. Do you believe that the Ten Commandments are still binding or not? Yes or No?
---jerry6593 on 6/1/09

Betty I have to agree but disagree even though I am biased!!! My husband being virgin when we married.

However I still strongly agree that Virgins ought to look for Virgins themselves being so, but cannot condemn born again Christians who marry a virgin. Who am I to condemn not even Christ came to Condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved.

I am still with you but not where you press to state a clause not written in marriage Law. ''Non virgins are to look for non virgins'' That's just not so!
---Carla3939 on 6/1/09

Betty ... How could it have been Rhonda? She had not even posted when you made the claim about being ridiculaed and condemned.

I repeat, no-one had ridiculed or condmend you.

As to my alleged insinuations, they were pure, true facts. You on the other hand made vicious personal unjustified ininuations about my morals, and now say I am a "Bad Boy that terrorizes these blogs with your immodest views"

Immodest view? I reported a fact, not a view. My view is that women can wear female pants ... if you think that is immodest to hold that view, it says something about you.
---alan8566_of_Uk on 5/31/09

I think if you are bothered by this, then there may be something much deeper routed that you are apprehensive about. I think bettys comments are fine, in that individuals should be equally yoked and she should have the same values as you when it comes to following the lord. Relationships are based on honor, love, respect and truth, that truth grounded in christ. I would talk to god about this, and search the depths of your heart. Marriage is for life.
---wal_rev on 5/30/09

Good one Allen--very very good! :)
---Mary on 5/31/09

"Christians ought to be choosy"

When Jesus chose his disciples & friends, he did not choose perfect people.
---alan8566_of_uk on 5/30/09

Betty ... What you are saying is that though God may forgive people their sins, you will not, and that your unforgiveness is more important than God's forgiveness.

And have you answered about my situation as a widower? Are you saying that if I married a virgin, I would be bringing a blot to the marriage?
---alan8566_of_uk on 5/30/09

Jesus does not condemn the woman, why do you?
---NurseRobert on 5/28/09

You are soooo right on!

I would have preferred that my wife and I were virgins when we married, but we weren't. Then again, we weren't even Christians then. Now we are, and Jesus has forgiven us much. Adultery, along with the violation of ALL NINE of the other Commandments, is no longer an option for us.

Betty, weren't you one of those who told me that the New Covenant makes the Ten Commandments obsolete?
---jerry6593 on 5/30/09

"nana- Then you ought to be careful what you sow."
Good advice!

Good, clean start?
1 Corinthians 6:11: "And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God."

Even if you said in another blog, "The New Covenant is repentance and redemption of sins through Jesus Christ." You do not believe in redemption or not know what it is.
"Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so." I wonder who you call "Redeemed"?
Here is a plane flying over your head, 1 Peter 4:8: "And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins."
---Nana on 5/30/09

Betty, HOGWASH. No one is "dead-set" on anyone marrying anyone else. Your "used goods" comments and "holier than thou" attitude is what I have issues with.

And personally, I don't care who "cheers" me on. You seem to me to be another reasons why people don't seek out the Lord. You need to look at your attitude.
---NurseRobert on 5/29/09

nana- Then you ought to be careful what you sow. Christians ought to be choosy. Virgins ought to marry virgins & they will both have a good, clean start to their marriage. Moses was forgiven by God for sinning at the Waters of Meribah (striking the rock episode). You know he was forgiven, for he lived & did not die. However, Moses did not get to go into the Promised Land because of his disobedience in striking the rock. Though Moses was forgiven, he was counted as unworthy to enter the Promised Land.
---Betty on 5/29/09

nurserobert- You, like many others on this blog are dead-set on virgins marrying non-virgins for some reason. I have not condemned whoever it is you thought I condemned. Most assuredly, I have not ignored the fact that Jesus might have forgiven any non-virgins. I might say, I noticed on many blogs that everybody was not cheering you, either. Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so.
---Betty on 5/29/09

alan- When you say nobody has condemned me, you overlook rhonda. Maybe you posted before she did. rhonda the hornet is dragging her stinger all over these blogs. I think she called me a hateful, bitter woman because I quote scriptures she doesn't like. Whatever. As for the pants blogs, your insinuations were far worse than mine. God knows you're one of the Bad Boys that terrorizes these blogs with your immodest views.
---Betty on 5/29/09

rhonda- I called you waspish on one blog. I take it back. Don't be such a hornet, rhonda. Look for rhonda if you want a vigilant misguided "christian", REAL Christians do not blaspheme the Holy Ghost like you, rhonda. Spouses that were allowed to divorce & remarry did not marry virgins, for it was forbidden. Fornication & Adultery were sins in OT times, and still are since the New Covenant. Christians who have been forgiven of sexual sins still bring a blot to the marriage if they marry a foolish virgin. Virgins are worthy of virgins & not used goods. Log off if you don't like what I say.
---Betty on 5/29/09

Quite unkind words, "used goods"!
Deuteronomy 25:5_10, about mercy and dignity. Some men prefer to be called, "The house of him that hath his shoe loosed." (and his face spit on)
Yet, our Lord said, "But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice:"
Vicious Bloggers? Matthew 18:23-35. Don't we reap what we sow?
---Nana on 5/29/09

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Most people give an answerr that promotes abstinence for selfish reasons. So my question is: Who did you abstain for? Your future spouse, Yourself, or God. i married as virgin, howver,my wife had a few slip-ups before she met me. I must admit that when i found out i was verry upset. nevertheless as the last blog REPENTANCE IS THE KEY. I staid virgin because of Christ and happy I did, my wife repented before she ever met me and she's happy she did. me and my wife are the best couple in the entire neighbourhood. because both donot focus upon past mistakes but on Christ and how He saved us. Remember what Jesus said to the prostitute... go, and sin NO MORE... anything beyond that (full repentance and full forgiveness) is in my mind from the devil.
---Andy on 5/29/09

The virgin did not give himself or herself away, and should wait and not settle for used goods.

Betty the vigilant misguided christian forever swallowed up in YOUR ADDED idea's to Word of God

"used goods"? sounds like a hateful very bitter women

physical humans are NOT perfect ...REPENTANCE is to GOD NOT humans ...only religious christianity dismisses repentance

as for "used goods" widows married brothers of their husbands ...spouse cheated on allowed to divorce remarry PER GODS WORD ...these people don't magically become virgins again

which obviously doesn't register in your misguided self appointed PIOUS "christian views"
---Rhonda on 5/28/09

Vicious Bloggers- Because I point out that adultery & fornication were punishable by death in OT times, and men & women were supposed to be virgins when they married, I am ridiculed & condemned?...
---Betty on 5/27/09

Betty, people stand against you because you completely ignore the healing power of salvation in Jesus. You chose to condemn this woman because of actions she took in her past.

Didn't Jesus tell us that "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." John 8:7.

Jesus does not condemn the woman, why do you?
---NurseRobert on 5/28/09

Betty ... No one has ridiculed you, and no-one has condemned you.

They have put their views, as have you, and in just as gentle and courteous a fashion.

Do you recall the vicious insinuations and accusations made on the "pants" and Miss California blogs, and who made them?
---alan8566_of_uk on 5/28/09

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Vicious Bloggers- Because I point out that adultery & fornication were punishable by death in OT times, and men & women were supposed to be virgins when they married, I am ridiculed & condemned? So what. Look. According to the Bible, Fornication and Adultery are still forbidden. It is punishable by hellfire. Christians keep themselves pure & wait. They wait for a virgin who has refrained from sin. The virgin did not give himself or herself away, and should wait and not settle for used goods. Christians should ask God to choose their mates & wait for Him to do it beyond any shadow of a doubt.
---Betty on 5/27/09

NurseRobert: Amen! I agree with you on this.
---jerry6593 on 5/27/09

Betty: I'm confused. Aren't you the one who contends that we are no longer under those "Old Covenant" Laws? Yet here you are spouting them. And how do you know what sin is, except by the Ten Commandment Law - which you have frequently disavowed. Do you now embrace the Ten Commandments?
---jerry6593 on 5/27/09

What a beautiful description of a most excellent woman in Proverbs, chapter 31! Nowhere there is virginity mentioned, but "a woman that feareth the LORD" is.
If a woman or man's past will be lorded over them for always, there is no repentance, nor redemption that will avail, no hope and no newness of life before God (in the eyes of who behold such).

You would had made a nice partner to those of the circumcision who came to where Peter was with Paul and rattled him to dissimulation (Gal 2:11_21).
---Nana on 5/26/09

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Betty: and how many other old testament laws do you follow? Do you still wear a robe and stone your neighbors? Sorry about the sarcasm--that's my sense of humor though. But can you see my point?
---Mary on 5/26/09

James, have you considered therapy? What, exactly, do you think you have forgiven? If there is something in you that sees your virginity as a badge of honor while judging your girlfriend for not waiting for marriage, you need help.

Why would you choose to be with someone you judge in a negative light?
---Deb on 5/27/09

Betty, in the O.T times they used to kill children for disobedience. After Jesus arrived, the O.T. Law was fulfilled and the New Covenant took over from the Old. No longer was it necessary to stone people to death, in fact it was considered hypocritical because the stoners were as guilty of breaking the Law as the stonees/victims. That is why Jesus drew in the sand and said 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.' And everyone went away ashamed. As far as the New Law goes, lust is as bad as adultery. So we are all guilty!! (Unless you have never had a lustful thought in your life and if that is the case you are probably not normal.)
---frances008 on 5/26/09

She is lucky to have found you a good Christian guy who values her.I bet you anything she regets it today If you accept her for her failures and all, she needs a man to respect her and be the leader of the house hold. The hurt God can wipe away. I when you look at her you may think of it but as you said you forgave her therefore that means she is fresh again,with you thinking of that constantly may make her think she is used baggage that no one wants.. could go into a depression.. as for her cheating on you in marrage watch her while you date. If she told you that it takes alot of guts the fear of rejection.. Pray about it. and i am guessing she was never married. if she was than I believe her husband would have to die before she could remarry.
---Vanessa on 5/26/09

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Again, I repeat, any man or woman who committed fornication or adultery were supposed to suffer the death penalty. Therefore, God meant for virgins to marry virgins.
---Betty on 5/26/09

Rhonda is absolutely correct! If she has repented of her sin and the Lord has forgiven her, her sin is forgotten by Him. If this man can't forget her past then he hasn't forgiven her. If the Lord can forgive her and he can't - I think he is in need of repentance himself.
---HappyLDS on 5/24/09

Rhonda ... If you read what I said, I think you will realise I that your response should be addressed to Betty.
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/24/09

alan- That annuls the sins but not the physical fact.

and where is "the physical fact" in Gods Word

Gods Word states REPENT and sins are forgiven

the REAL issue is ONE YEAR of dating and NOW it's "hurtful"

HURTFUL indicates no forgiveness ...he wallows in self deception and pity party for himself about something this women cannot change

why would he DECEIVE her and himself by dating and now claiming it is hurtful

which is the "bigger" sin ...DECEIT of one year or a past that if she was Christian would be repented and already forgiven by The Father
---Rhonda on 5/22/09

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Betty ... you are so right. But why should that physical fact mean anything?

Nothing alters the fact that a former drug abuser now has a damaged body.

And if the girl had lost her virginity through rape, would you condemn her too, just because her body shows the damage?

Does God look at our bodies or our hearts? Which does He judge?
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/22/09

alan- That annuls the sins but not the physical fact.
---Betty on 5/22/09

Amen Nurse Robert

We have people who want to hold sin against those who GOD has forgiven and cleansed. Some think they are better judges then GOD. Just like the Sadducees did when they judged JESUS.
---Samuel on 5/22/09

If you are a virgin, do not give up to a woman who is evil or one who is not a virgin. Even if she has changed, she is not worthy of a virgin. ---Betty on 2/10/09

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new." 2 Cor 5:17

Betty, when I became a Christian, my past no longer mattered. God made me whole and forgave ALL my sins. Who are you to decide who is "worthy" of what? You need to go back into your quiet space and ask God to unfreeze your hardened heart.
---NurseRobert on 5/21/09

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Thank you Betty.

Of course, Jesus took away those punishments. Repentance and acceptance of Jesus annuls the sin.
---alan8566_of_uk on 5/21/09

alan- 1. Fornication was forbidden. Unmarried people who committed fornication did so with married or unmarried people.

2. Adultery was forbidden. That is sexual sins between people married to other people.

3. Non-virgin, unmarried women were stoned when their sin was discovered.

4. Any man or woman who committed fornication or adultery had to suffer the death penalty. That meant Virgins were to marry Virgins.
---Betty on 5/21/09

Betty ... I have previously asked you for the scripture giving this rule, and you chose not to answer.

Perhaps now you can answer ... where does the Bible say this?
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/20/09

Virgins ought to marry virgins. They both kept themselves clean and neither will be slighted. People who are not virgins and have repented should marry others like themselves, Christian not virgin.
---Betty on 5/20/09

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James~ If your girlfriend is a Christian now, she is wonderfully forgiven and a saved child of God! How wonderful is that! She is pure in God's eyes and if she is truly saved she is growing in purity day by day. All her past sins are forgiven! In God's eyes it is like she is a virgin again since all her past sins are forgiven. How wonderful and amazing is God's amazing grace!

If God has forgotten all her past sins, then all us lowly human beings should too. Now the important thing is to look at YOU. You seem to be judging her, ask God to forgive you and thank Him for making your girlfriend like a fresh new pure virgin again. May you both be blessed and continue together on the straight and narrow.
---Anne on 5/20/09

He that is without sin let him cast the first stone, you sound like a hypocrite, you want to tell me you think her sin of fornication is greater than any sin you have committed. How about Spiritual fornication and adultery, Christians commit those sins they love things and the world more than God and do those things that God says you should not put before him. They love their religious doctrines and commit fornication with them right in Gods presence. If she is serving God I am willing to say she is more pure than you are by your pharisee statement, of, God I am so glad that I am a virgin and not a sinner like she is. The same blood that that makes you clean makes her clean and God has no problem with her.
---Exzucuh on 5/20/09

James, I myself don't know why it hurts you when you think of her past. What could hurt you? You had nothing to do with her past, and I see no reason for you to have to forgive her. I believe this is an issue for God and not you. The reason you are dating her is not because of what she did in her past but what you know of her now. Who she is now and what you liked about her.
If you feel like she had to answer to you because of her past and you cannot get over that, in no why will you ever get over it if you get married. It will be worse. Yet I still don't understand why you feel hurt, she didn't do anything to you, and she sinned against God and only God can forgive her why would you even have to forgive her?
---MarkV. on 5/19/09

Thank you, MarkV. In exchange, I am also coming around to a compromise between predestination and free choice. There does seem to be a group of people who know the truth, but do everything in their power to stop it getting out, denying it etc. I don't know why they do it. Surely they do not wish to go to Hell, and I can assume only that they do not really believe the Bible, no matter what they say.
---frances008 on 5/18/09

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Frances, you have given great answers concerning these blog. I read everything you said and really appreciate what you shared with us. Blessings to you.

Though, I don't like to read too much into conspiricies, what you have wrote about the Jesuits some time back when, on another blog was very true. I didn't comment on that one before but I do now.
---MarkV. on 5/18/09

Frances ... Betty says "God wants virgins to marry virgins"

I asked Betty where the Bible said that & she did not respond. Can you point me to it.

As you said earlier, this is behind her now, and she can't change what has happened.

If God has forgiven her, so should we.
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/18/09

Betty made an interesting statement. God wants virgins to marry virgins. I think for a first marriage that is God's ideal. But we live in a fallen world and cannot always get exactly what we want. There are no hard and fast rules written in the Bible and what a good thing that is. We are free to marry whomsoever we want. Anne Boleyn (saint) married Henry V111. Okay he was younger at the time than after five wives, but he was reputed to have slept with many women by that time. Still, Anne Boleyn saw it as God's will for the Church that she married Henry. What a great move that was too. And as for being a virgin. What about those who have been raped? Are they not to marry, unles to someone 'experienced'?
---frances008 on 5/17/09

I am talking about character transformation. It is necessary for us to change to become more like Christ and less doing whatever we want despite the feelings of others (fornication does not deliberately cause offense to others because both parties are willing and nobody else is involved, unlike most other sins.)
---frances008 on 5/17/09

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If she is now a Christian, and he has excepted her, She is not the problem, he is. Forgiveness is what Jesus teaches! He needs to break off the friendship for her sake. I was a virgin when I married in 67, my friends were not. I was chastised for being stupid. My young, Christian husband became inpatient with me. I broke with a young man that would have made a great husband. My new husband became a womanizer because I was unknowing about what is expected when it came to intimacy. Not bad things, but how to be loving. So being a virgin does not alway make it the best solution. My next husband is loving, caring, and patient. WE had a great life together. We came together through our Christian faith. He was patient! Thank you! Amanda
---Amanda on 5/17/09

This is what happened to me also, but the other way around. My wife was pure when we got married but I wasn't. It was a bit difficult for her at first but as time went on and I proved myself to be a faithful man, she forgot about it and has never had it bother her ever again. That's 38 years ago. We have had a wonderful life together anf have raised 4 Godly children who all serve the Lord.
---john on 5/17/09

Frances ... I'm not sure what you are trying to say to me there!

But as you say, "This fornication happened, it is past and gone"

That is what I was trying to point out to Tiffany, who would keep this lady condemned for ever.
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/17/09

AlanofUk, my discussions with you, and various other hints show me who you are. Your opinions etc, your attitudes, your nature, you are a unique person but with your attributes you can be grouped into a certain category. Like thieves can be grouped into their category. God made people and they choose good or evil. That is where salvation comes. We are told that evil people (tares) are among the good people (wheat). There has to be repentance before God to identify the wheat. This happens in time. But it is usually not difficult to identify those who are never going to repent. A bit of discernment and it becomes easier with age.
---frances008 on 5/16/09

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This fornication happened, it is past and gone. When repented of it is forgiven and God (through Christ's death on Calvary) wipes clean he slate. But attitudes, opinions, and behaviours that continue wilfully after receiving forgiveness, those cannot be forgiven unless repented and reparation is made. Restoration to repair damage done to others. Evil speech, slander etc. does unseen damage. It is never even admitted much less repented of, or apologized for. Fornication is such a limited sin compared to most others. It is a sin that we can point at so easily, and the poor sinner can do nothing but admit it. Other sins go silently around destroying people in their wake.
---frances008 on 5/16/09

I don't know why she is your girlfriend if you are so obviously not the same types. Is it really so important that you have a girlfriend? What if the one intended for you is available but you are wasting your time on someone unsuitable? If this person is a real Chrsistian now, then they will be transformed, and you have no right to accuse her, so if you accuse her you must be in doubt as to the sincerity of her faith in God. Finally, exactly how perfect are you? Have you achieved sinlessness, because if you haven't you are in the same boat as murderers and adulterers (just a sinner). I suggest you break off and see if you can live life as a single person until you mature a bit. PS Her sin was not against you.
---frances008 on 5/16/09

Tiffany ... A theif may become a Christian, and I suppose he would be acceptable in your sight if he stops theiving.

Now what happens when a non-virgin becomes a Christian? Is he or she to be for ever condemned?

Jesus told us that God should be the judge.
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/16/09

No, you should not continue to date her. You should not be unequally yoked. You should be dating a woman with the same Biblical belief as you possess. If chastity isn't important to her, you should not have dated her to begin with. When you have saved yourself as the Bible has commanded, you must be rewarded with a wife who awarded you that beautiful gift on your shared wedding night.A Christian woman prepares herself from birth, keeping herself pure and whole. Not united in the flesh to any other man. Though you can forgive her, does she even understand the grievous error she has commit?
---Tiffany on 5/16/09

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Betty ...

There is NOTHING in the Bible to suggest that Virgins may not marry non-virgins.

There is nothing in the Bible to say that we may do an unnatural thing such as flying in the sky in an aeroplane.

Does that mean that we may not fly in an aeroplane?
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/16/09

strongaxe- So there was scriptural basis for Him not to throw Himself off that mountain, in addition to the fact that He was the Son of God, and God Himself. Plus the fact that He had a mission to fulfill: death on the cross, free the captives in hell, and go back to Heaven to sit in majesty beside His Father God. There was nothing in the Bible that specifically said "Jesus, don't jump off a mountain".
---Betty on 2/16/09


You are right that these things are not specifically condemned. However, my point was that one cannot FROM THIS ALONE necessarily deduce that something is permitted - one must look to see if anything else applies.

Matthew 4:6-7:
"6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."

Note that in verse 7, Jesus immediately quotes a different law that explains why this was the wrong thing to do.
---StrongAxe on 2/16/09

Betty ... no-one is against a virgin marrying virgin.

But the Bible did not say virgins should not marry non-virgins.

Nor does it say widows or widowers must not marry virgins.
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/16/09

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strongaxe- Is there a verse in the Bible that forbids people to floorboard their vehicles and crash? Does God approve of it? Satan tried to talk Jesus Christ into flinging Himself off a mountain. Was that forbidden in scripture? Show me a specific verse where it was forbidden, or where it is forbidden to commit suicide? I would like to know why it is so many people are against a virgin marrying a virgin. Why should a virgin give himself or herself carelessly away to someone who has already committed adultery against their marriage. Would the holy, pure God say to the virgin you waited for no good reason, have someone who is used because I am limited in power and I cannot find you a virgin to marry.
---Betty on 2/15/09

alan- The Holy Spirit let me know that He didn't want me to swim the Atlantic, and there was no example set in the Bible that said I should. Jesus Christ did not swim the Atlantic, neither did He say we should. He let people ride horses, camels and donkeys in those days. People were not smart enough from the beginning of time until the twentieth century to make cars that worked. God must have revealed to them how to do it. Maybe trains helped settle the USA out west. Maybe planes helped spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. But it started in the twentieth century, as if the time was right. If you think that according to the Bible you should not drive a car, then don't. Then it won't get parked over hell.
---Betty on 2/15/09


One can look in the Bible and point to specific verses that command this and that, and use this as evidence that "God wants this and that".

However, you cannot do the reverse, and, citing the LACK of verses talking about "this and that" and use that to say "God wants this and that". By that logic, one could also say that God wants nuclear war, suicide, air pollution, and arson - since the Bible never specifically speaks against any of these things.
---StrongAxe on 2/14/09

Betty ... I am not actually looking for a virgin.

But I would like to find and love another woman, and my dear wife told me I should marry again if the right person happened along.

Am I to be restricted to widows?

A single lady of my age may be hoping to marry ... is she to be restricted only to unmarried, crusty, set-in-ways bachelors?
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/13/09

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Betty (if Mod alloows this 2nd post)

"God wants virgins to marry virgins. Say where you found it in the Bible that he didn't"

Let's turn this round. Do you drive a car? You should not, you know.

God does not want people to drive cars. Say where you found in the Bible that He approves of cars.

And God wants you to swim the Atlantic. Say where in the Bible that He doesn't.
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/13/09

Alan- Why are you looking for a virgin? God wants virgins to marry virgins. Say where you found it in the Bible that he didn't.
---Betty on 2/13/09

Betty ... You have provided no Biblical evidence to say a virgin should not marry a non-virgin.

Can you do so?

And how about me? Am I not permitted to marry a virgin?
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/13/09


I don't know why God chose Hosea, or why he used that particular sign (of a man marrying a harlot), but he DID do it, and God wouldn't command someone to do something that is inherently wrong (such as murder, bearing false witness, adultery, worshipping strange gods, etc.) So, while marrying a harlot is definitely NOT the ideal, and usually has lots of problems, it is NOT something that is forbidden in scripture. If you CAN find a place where it is forbidden (other than to Jewish priests), I would love to hear it.
---StrongAxe on 2/12/09

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strongaxe- God knows why He said that to Hosea, do you? It was for a sign to Judah. If God told you something else, let me know. Furthermore, the day will come when Jesus Christ will return, and then we will know all things. Maybe she had a problem. God knows you put little value on virginity if you think a virgin should give up to a nonvirgin. Why would they have waited? God knows everybody, do you? Is He not able to find a mate for a virgin? Why would He say blessed is he who receives this saying that it is better not to marry than to burn? He wanted a virgin to marry a virgin. You do not believe in the power of God, evidently.
---Betty on 2/12/09

There are alot of christians that lived like the world and got saved. I was wild and crazy also until I got saved, but I have not been with anyone for 17 years and in the eyes of God, I feel that I am a born again virgin, since I have not been with any man since I got saved and will not until I get married. I feel it's ok if you want to get her tested if she had alot of partners, but I think that if she has been walking holy, you are judging her if she has waited until marriage. But if you want a virgin, then you need to find that and let her go because you will not be happy.
---Janine on 2/11/09


While it is ideal that a virgin marries a virgin, we live in a broken world full of broken people, and ideals almost never work out. It's ideal that every child have two parents, but that doesn't always work out either.

I am not aware of any scripture that commands virgins to marry only virgins, or non-virgins to only marry non-virgins (with the exception of Levitical priests who were to marry virgins only - and that is irrelevant to Christians). Making these demands on people places a greater burden on them than scripture demands.

(Oh, and God COMMANDED Hosea, a holy man, to marry a harlot - Hosea 1:2).
---StrongAxe on 2/11/09

I understand what Betty is saying. Mabe it's the wording. I don't know. I have a problem with that myself. Let God choose. Yes!
---catherine on 2/10/09

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Betty ... ,You can of course show where scripture says that!

Please tell us!

On a side issue, what do yuo think of the chances of a 60 year old unmarried virgin. Presumably she would be forbidden to a widower like myself.

Why do you make sexual sins so much worse than others.
---alan8566_of_UK on 2/10/09

Alan- You miss the point. A virgin is a sacred person not. A virgin deserves a virgin mate. Never would God want the sacrifice the virgin made to be in vain. The virgin saved himself or herself for the sake of purity and to be approved by God. The name of the Lord is sanctified. Christian people who are not virgins, are a different matter. They should make sure they repent and give their lives to God. Then they should ask God to get them a mate. He will get them a mate that is not a virgin, but is a Christian.
---Betty on 2/10/09

Betty ... There's a lot of rubbish in the Bible about us becoming new people when we are saved, isn't there?

Don't believe Jesus, don't believe the apostles.

No, Betty, that woman's mistake makes her forever blemished, for ever unworthy of a good man.

That's what Jesus said, isn't it?

---alan8566_of_UK on 2/10/09

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