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Husband Beats Me and Kids

A Christian marries someone who beats them even needing several surgical procedures; they stay praying for change. Two children come along, mother has to protect the children 24/7. Major choice either the marriage ends or the mother loses her children that she would die for. Marriage ends. Is this unchristian?

Moderator - If you are stating you must leave to save the LIFE of the children and yourself, then yes the marriage should end. Only you know if the statement is really true.

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 ---mitzy9989 on 2/5/06
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And is the original poster talking about herself or someone else?
---Cluny on 3/24/11

Does he ever go to sleep?
woe unto him that beats me and my children and then thinks he can sleep.
---shira3877 on 3/24/11

If your husband is hitting you or your children you need to hit him over the head with a frying pan and get out of there. Do NOT stay in that environment while you are trying to work things out.
Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. God calls something sin because it will cause hurt and pain in our lives. We know divorce causes hurt so God calls it sin. But so does the sin of some wimp who hits women or children.
If he can be forgiven for hitting you then you can be forgiven for leaving him. God is good and does not want you or your children to endure abuse if your husband does not want to seek help.
---Anthony_Ward on 3/24/11

Robyn ... My point was that Mitzi asked the question 5 years ago, and is unlikely to be awaiting an answer after so long.

For the record, I agree with the advice you gave, but it will be too late for Mitzi
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/24/11

And what is your point, Alan? I don't put the questions up here. I only comment like you and others do,here. People have problems year round. Not just back in 2005. The year does not matter.
---Robyn on 3/23/11

Robyn ... Mitzi asked this question nearly five years ago.

CN has resurrected a very old blog!

The situation will have resolved itself one way or the other by now.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/4/11

Mitzi: No one has to tell you to get out of a situation, of this kind. Run as fast as you can, if this is yourself. Does not matter whether you are saved or not. Your life is in jeopardy and your kids.Seek help from the police department, family services and domestic abuse centers,shelters etc..Do it now! The person you are describing is a monster. Another question: what is wrong with a person, who wants to stay in a relationship like this? This does not glorify God. Get out fast!
---Robyn on 3/3/11

If you are in this situation, get out. Flee to a shelter and see a lawyer immediately. It is not whether it is unchristian or not. It is a matter of life and death.

Get out of the house. Get a lawyer. Get a restraining order. Then get therapy for yourself.
---Madison on 12/21/07

Lynet: Your advice is exactly on target. I am a licensed MSW as well. My mother was abused throughout my childhood, and the police were called many times, and they did absolutely nothing back then.

Thank you for sharing your expertise here.
---Madison1101 on 8/4/06

2. I want you all to know I'm not just throwing out numbers, and putting ideas in peoples heads. The system can work, but you have to know what to do and how to get started.
Many of us have jobs that wrench our hearts daily, this is mine. I love it, and hate it .... Pray for me
---lynet on 8/4/06

My name is Lynet,
I'm a Licensed MSW. I work with victims of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assualt in a major city in the US.
I can't tell you the horrors I see and hear of daily. I don't pretend to know all, but I know enough to help. I am empassioned by the story here today. My heart is so full. I try to leave this at work, but I understand it is everywhere. The saddest part is most of it goes unreported. When I see this I offer advice, but I do not make decisions, at work, or on this site.
---lynet on 8/4/06

Begin counseling with a licensed counselor/therapst ASAP, for yourself and your children. Pray and ask God for guidence while you are making decisions. Be wise, this has gone on for too long according to what you are saying.
I'm praying for you. If you have questions please ask.
---lynet on 8/4/06

3. Make continued police reports. Any assault that is not reported, did not happen if not recorded.
Take pictures of any bruises, or injuries.
Get records from hospital visits.
Keep a record for yourself of dates the assaults took place.
You must be discreet, it is to save your life and the lives of your children.
Call Childrens Protective Services:
National Hotline number:
1((800) 4achild.
You must report your husband. It is safer to do this after you have left the home.
---lynet on 8/4/06

2. Take all your important papers with you; birth certificates, immunization records, bank statements, check book, marriage license.
Be prepared to leave when you call the shelter. When a placement is found you will not be able to go home and get things. Perhaps you can put a few things aside at a time. You won't be able to take much.
Take a few of the childrens favorite things when you leave.
Keep your plans to yourself, that way no one else can be made to give information.
---lynet on 8/4/06

LEAVE NOW, There is no scripture says you should stay in this marriage.
These numbers will be helpful to you.
For information call:
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1(800) 799-7233
Seek shelter:
1(800) ashelter, an extra number is included.
Obtain a personal protection Order:
Include your children in the order
Make it very specific to fit your needs
It is not valid unless it is served to him
Keep your copy in your purse at all times
---Lynet on 8/4/06

Mitzy, I think the question of the marriage ending is the least important, and doesn't immediatly have to be dealt with. Is physically separating herself and the children from the abuser unchristian, NO. Once she and the children are safe, counseling for the marital issues could and should be undertaken. Is this you? or someone you know? Many of us are praying already.
---daphn8897 on 8/4/06

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No it is not unchristian for this marriage to end. If you are telling us about yourself I hope you are as far away from him as is possible and that the children are safe with you. If you are telling us about someone else, help her to get away, if she hasn't already, and make sure that she stays a long way away from him. Get him reported to the correct authorities so that he can be dealt with.
---M.P. on 8/4/06

you have to get out, if not for you for your children, pray for guidance
---tonya on 8/4/06

A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto (not beat) his wife and these two shall be one flesh. Giving honour (not bruises) to the wife as the weaker vessel. When a man is dead (spiritually) the wife is freed from the law of her husband. Husbands, love your wives. The husband has a responsibility to love his wife AS the Lord loves the church and gave his life for it.
---Delmar on 2/8/06

I stayed in my first marriage for 8 years constantly getting beat up. Yes there were two small children under 5 years of age at the time. I divorced him after he beat me once so bad I couldn't see or talk due to my face being so swollen. In the case of spousel abuse, it is not unchristian to end the marriage. God doesn't want His children hurt.
---Melissa on 2/7/06

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Run as hard and fast as you can with your children.
---Dee on 2/6/06

Please mitzy, for the sake of the child and you get out! We should all pray for you. God bless.
---Linda on 2/5/06

Mitzy, When I was growing up, my father beat my mom and me. He didn't drink either. He was just mean! It took me years and to get saved and to forgive him. He's gone now. Even to the end he stabbed me in the back. He and my younger brother conspired against me and I lost any kind of inheritance. Keep in mind now that I did nothing wrong. Get out now and don't look back! He will more than likely promise you that he will change but he won't. It's not only you but your child who is in danger. God bless you.
---John on 2/5/06

Not only to protect life, but the well-being of her children and herself. NO woman should have to put up with an abusive marriage, nor should children have to put up with an abusive home.
If what Mitzy says is true, her husband has already destroyed the marriage, and it is right that she should leave.
---alan8869_of_UK on 2/5/06

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