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Whites And Blacks Date

I'm really at a loss for words right now, because I really like a black guy, and I'm white. He's a christian, and a good guy, but I'm confused on the matter, and I don't want to be influenced by his race. What should I do?

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 ---Kaitlyn on 2/11/06
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Is it a sin? I don't think so. However, I do know people who think that you should stay with your own race because God told the Jews to marry their own kind. If people believe this does it make them prejudice?
---veronica on 12/7/07

By how old this blog is i'm sure this person has moved on by now!
---Carla5754 on 12/5/07

If the questioner is still reading this a year after posting the question I would say that it is probably not his race that you feel influenced by but the opinions of others who are probably racist. Amongst non-Christians we might expect comments like "what will the neighbours think" etc. These people would not bat an eyelid if you married a non-Christian. It is what God thinks that matters and he wants you to be equally yoked with a believer, skin colour is not the issue.
---RitaH on 12/5/07

Honey you don't need a man period if you are that dense and blind in your perception and dealings with others. Color does not have anything to do with a person's character,upbringing or station in life. You are blind,indeed. I would steer clear of you, if I were the man. You have a lot of learning to do. I hope you are real young because time will probably run out on you before you truly understand the meaning of life.
---Robyn on 12/4/07

Are you for real? A person is a person is a person. You don't want to be influence by a person? But you like that person. Please stop being a racist!
Those days are gone..and they will never come back. Grow up!
---lisa on 12/4/07

Blessings to all, if you really like this guy, reguardless of his color, remember, Jesus Christ died for everyone, not any specific race or color. If this man is a Christian as well as yourself, do not be influenced by what other people think. God loves this person just as much as He loves everyone else. Pray about it and follow what the Lord puts in your heart. God Bless friends!
---Cynthia on 12/3/07

Hi,I'm in the same situation.I'm a white girl dating a black young man.We've had hard times cos of misunderstanding caused by the different cultural backgrounds BUT we love each other and we bring everything to God.It can work if it is from God.Pray!
---Erzsebet on 12/3/07

God's stipulation is 'be ye not unequally yoked'. That is referring to one's beliefs not skin colour or other matters of 'race'. If you are a Christian you should not contemplate marrying anyone who is not a Christian. Any problems that occur in a Christian inter-racial marriage are man-made problems. God has no problem with this at all I am certain. However, please be aware that other people could create problems for you.
---M.P. on 5/10/07

Jeanne , Thanks for your compliment! God's love is color blind(He is not a respecter of person's). God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/10/06

Your statement that you don't want to be influenced by his race tells me there could be trouble in the future. If you should marry this person you will be inheriting the whole package. You need to be ready for this. He will be doing the same so he also needs to be ready. Cultural differences can be worked out but you will both have to accept eachothers herritage, famliy, and culture.
---john on 11/10/06

Mrs. Morgan I just love your answers even when disagreed w/you have elegance-- sadly lost in our world. In Heaven all colors will raise our hands & that will be the biggest rainbow ever- full of Saints, those who paid w/their blood to be there, the quiet, the loud all together saying All Hail our King! What a day no more tears/fears/hate/schemes, only love as clear as the purest water from an ancient cistern. What a day Mrs.Morgan who knows maybe U & I will be next to each other smiling at our King!
---Jeanne on 11/10/06

In regard to my Grandma and my Grandpa on my mother's side of the family even though they came from different ethnic groups, they had JESUS in common. Both of them grew up on farms, had humble godly rearing. I thank God for their godly INFLUENCE and godly EXAMPLE that they lived out before my family. God's people speak the same language of true love, and true holiness(Hebrews 12:14,15) no matter what color they are. Amen! God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/10/06

Jeanne, "Prejudice came from both sides also." Yes, this is true!
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/10/06

Rachel I agree. I know 1st hand I had a mixed marriage.4 great kids(1 w/God). Names we are called at times ugly. My kids cried many times by mean things.It taught us to love/forgive/& be strong. So it wasnt just love/wine/& roses. It was broken windows, curses-dont move here & try & "goad" us to fight. Spray paint nasty words on cars/house! I just want you to see all sides. If it is love guard it well but be prepared for the "real" obstacles also. Prejudice came from both sides also.
---Jeanne on 11/10/06

Rachel, U want to talk about a melting pot! My ex is Puerto Rican dark skinned & Spanish/English speaking, his family is black to white. His mom is Tanio Indian. I am Swiss & Jewish by Jewish law U are what your mom is so I went to Temple as a Jew & English/Hebrew speaking. I am light eyed, fair skin & dark hair. So my kids were mixed skin wise, language wise and religious wise-but raised Christian! My ex his bro married a black woman (lighter then my ex)so their cousins are black. Only in America huh?
---Jeanne on 11/10/06

Thanks for pointing that out Vee, if you marry or date someone they should influence you. so if you don't want to be influenced then maybe there is a unequal yoke in the sense of christian and nonchristian? in this case you need to ask a different question because this could be detrimental to the relationship.
---Jared on 11/9/06

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Influenced by his race to do what? Please explain.
---Vee on 11/9/06

If you are both Christians then it is perfectly ok to date. God does not look on the colour of the skin, He looks on the heart. All are one in Christ.
---Helen_5378 on 11/9/06

I was taught to believe that a person should stick with their own race. White and white, black and black, etc. but after growing up and studying the bible we all come from the seed of Abraham. And we as Christians have Christ's blood in us, so spiritualy speaking we have Jew in us.
---Rebecca_D on 11/8/06

Mrs. Morgan, I understand. I come from somewhat of a rainbow tribe myself. Your comment: "Many are in hell right now because of racism." Needs to be on a t-shirt. It's straight forward and sooooo true!

To the OP, please do some self-exploration and figure out why this is even an issue for you. You'll probably find some deep rooted lies someone, somewhere sold you that you need to rid yourself from believing. That he's Christian and a good guy is what's important.
---AlwaysOn on 11/8/06

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(III.)People in my family range in appearance with some black folk having blue eyes(That's called a throw back gene), reddish hair, pale skin(my grandma had Keltic roots, BTW!),and some having dark brown skin with pale green eyes,and some looking "hispanic"(but they are not),etc. Different variations. People should stop being ashamed of their mixed heritage, it's just plain dumb! I know most white people in America have mixed hertiage(how could they not!), America is a melting pot, period!
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/8/06

(I.)AlwaysOn , It's the Truth ! My Mom, and her siblings got all kinds of rude stares, and murmurings in regard to my late Grandma, who wasn't Black. It's like they wore "their thoughts on their sleeves", "what's those black kids doing with that white woman?". I went out with my Grandma in the late 80's downtown to do some shopping, the same kind of stares, "what's that white woman doing with those black folks?".
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/8/06

(II.)It's PURE IGNORANCE. My Grandma said that when she was working, white people would be saying all kind's of nasty things about black folk(this was in the 50's/60's). There are some folk in my family that has anger toward white people, some even saying that our family is pure black. Well that's funny! Never seen no blue eyed, red hair tribe in Africa.
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/8/06

Skin color is a none issue except in the mind of the racist. Satan uses divisions of all kinds to separate the foolish & gullible. Free your mind & self & selfishness will follow. Prejudice is, pre-judgment. The same standard one uses in the judgment of others, that one will be judged by that same standard. Judge righteous judgment. The only righteous judgment is the judgment of self. What thoughts motivates your actions & what is the intent? Honestly answer this question & all will become clear.
---josef on 11/8/06

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Kaitlyn, you sound a bit shallow, like you desire him, but not his race. Ponder this, how would you fare if he felt the same way about you, as you do about him?..."I really like this white girl, but I don't want to be influenced by her race."
---Eloy on 11/7/06

"This is the sad story of America. Many are in hell right now because of racism."

Wooo...say it again, Mrs. Morgan!
---AlwaysOn on 11/7/06

I think we are all equal, there is no white or Black in God's eyes. Now if your family has a problem with it then you need to think about it. I ask why are you dating someone of a different race is it because of actual love or are you rebeling agaisnt your family? I think why you are dating a person can explain alot about if you should marry a person or not.
---Jared on 11/7/06

THe last thing I will add is If you marry someone of a different race One of you will have to put off your own people and fully becomecome in your mind one with the other race. Like Ruth. If you try to stay seperate you will have a struggle to stay married.
---Jared on 11/7/06

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If whites and blacks didn't date, didn't marry, I would not be posting right now. I am a black woman, and come from a multi-racial background. People in my family range from black, white, native american, and everything in between. I think it's a crying out shame that I have white relatives in North Carolina, that don't even know I exist(and in some cases) would not even want to speak to me. This is the sad story of America. Many are in hell right now because of racism.
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/7/06

(II.) When I think about how people have suffered in American because of race, I just think of the devil, he is the source of all that stupidity. Only Jesus can bring people out of the bondage of racism. I believe that America has changed "a little", in regard to racism. I say "a little " because most of the change is only "outward"(going through the motions/fake), not "inward".
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/7/06


The force of Love is more powerful than the force of racism.

---Reiter on 11/7/06

Love is a rare treasure if U truly find it then guard it well. Black, white, brown, red, yellow doesnt matter what matters is the heart, are they saved etc. But also realize it is a harder road to go due to many people are racist still so it will take a stronger resolve.
---Jeanne on 11/6/06

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Love is the Uniting Force in Marriage.
We are One Human Race.
Let Love Unite.
---Reiter on 11/6/06

God loves us all...regardless of race/creed. I am Black and my husband my soon to be ex-husband of 10yrs is Mexican. We have 3 beautiful children. Imagine Adam, Eve..they've must've had children of all different races. (I'm not sure) Otherwise, where did all the nationalities come from because God "only" made 1 man/1 woman.
---Jackie on 8/7/06

Kaitlyn - I assume that you are born-again also. In that case pray about it and let the Lord lead you. God does not look on race so there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
---Helen_5378 on 6/20/06

Kaitlyn.....God doesn't see the color of our skin. We are all Children of God, and if he is a good person then you should proceed. Follow your heart and don't worry about what people will think.
---Grace on 6/20/06

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Remember our first parents? As christians there is no black, white, red, ect. We all must love one and all. The greatest gift God give to us is LOVE, followed by faith, then hope. Hope for his coming when we all will live together as one, with our king. JESUS.
---winna3836 on 6/20/06

It takes much education to bring up mixed race children so that they are well ajusted and educated about both of parents backgrounds and have a well balanced knowledge of themselves and know that the only differences between them and and other child is their age or their sex. Everthing else is personal to each child.
---Carla5754 on 6/20/06

Too many women rush into mixed relationships without much thought and consideration for the childern as they will be seen as black and may encounter racism. But having said that I have the odd one or two friends that have coped very well and not had a single problem, but there are others where the children have rebelled because of negative parenting either from one or both sides.
---Carla5754 on 6/20/06

Cultures are different so are blondes and brunnets but on the scale of things the only problem you will have as a white mother is if the family you marry into leave you to manage your childrens hair/skin alone if you so happen to have tightly curly hair girls. Then you need to learn how to plait or use bobbles/hair-oil, or it's an expensive trip out the the hair salon weekly. Learn about the culture, food and skin type if it's sound managable proceed with caution if this is not popular in your area.
---Carla5754 on 6/20/06

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What ever happenned to "if God be for us, who can be against us"? Or "no weapon can prosper against love or us"? Acts 17:26, "God created all nations of one blood, containing all the issues of life [not flesh], & set the bounderies of their 'habitation's', not marriages.

When Echad/God forgave & saved me, He saved & delivered all of me, permanently! These "problems" don't influence me! There's many positives? Wheat & the chaff, choose to be wheat! Be Real!
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 2/28/06

Darlene, People will be mean regardless of race. If a child is fat, thin, tall, short, red haired, blonde, brunette, etc... people will still be unkind - so rather than reacting out of fear and self protection, shouldn't we encourage our loved ones and/or children to look for the one God wants them to marry - regardless of appearance? Remember, Moses married a dark woman, and Miriam mocked, and since God reproved Miriam with leprosy... isn't His opinion on the matter evident?
---daphn8897 on 2/28/06

I will let God be the Judge of what is right or wrong about that kind of dating, not for me to do. I do wonder; how does God feel when races mix and change what He set in order, different ones, not a judgement, just curious? There is a hard road for a mixed couple to travel and even harder for their poor children. There are still mean people in this world who don't mind hurting little children.
---Darlene_1 on 2/27/06

mikefl, Yes, we are not to "tempt" God. However, I do not believe that interacial marriage qualifies as tempting God. To marry the one whom you believe God has for you is obedience - not foolishness, nor "playing in the freeway." "We might have taken a better path..." That statement accuses God of not being good or of not being in control. For whatever His reasons, you were not counseled differently. Trust Him, that He is good, regardless of your current circumstance.
---daphn8897 on 2/27/06

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Kaitlyn: "He's a christian," as I suppose you are. Excellent!

A relationship with him (or anyone for that matter) should be based on the content of his character, not by the color of his skin.
---Leon on 2/25/06

daphn et al. My son, now 21 y.o. has Prader-Willi Syndrome. Had someone cared enough to share their thoughts (in love) of his potential future we might have taken a different path for his betterment. Yes, God looks over us, that doesn't mean we should play in the freeway & expect Him to move the cars. We are to use love & compassion for one another. We are to use our God given minds & attempt to provide the best life we can for ourselves & those we love (present or future). Just my opinion...
---mikefl on 2/25/06

Please read the book "One Blood". My (white) son married a (black) woman and she is a wonderful helpmeet for him. They had concerns, but God is the Head of any godly union and if He is for us, who can be against us? Yes, there will always be prejudice in this world, but that is not of God. And it is not just about black and white, but also fat/thin, rich/poor, etc. Important: to be equally-yoked spiritually and know each other well before marriage.
---debor on 2/24/06

Daphne I agree with all you say. I just feel that different possibilities should be pointed out when someone dear to us is thinking of taking this step. The decision will be theirs of course and whatever their decision we should cover them with our prayers that God will guide their lives in the future.
---emg on 2/24/06

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emg, What good does "worrying" do period. Either God is in control or He's not - even of those who are racist. Kids get abused for all kinds of reasons - not just mixed race children - but fat children, skinny children, freckled children, tall children, short children, smart children, slow children, brown eyes, blue eyes, red hair, dirty blonde hair... the list is endless. Where is God in the worrying? I am sure that He doesn't - and if we trust in Him, neither should we.
---daphn8897 on 2/24/06

"worrying about the children" and other possible social ramifications is really just veiled racism. I don't agree with this statement. I think worrying about the children, rather than BEING racist, is worrying what racists THEMSELVES might do to our grandchildren. It's a perfectly natural fear like many other things but we have to let our off-spring decide for themselves.
---emg on 2/24/06

mikefl, You make is sound okay to discriminate because of race - it is not - ever. One can have ethnic pride without doing so at the expense of another. So called "worrying about the children" and other possible social ramifications is really just veiled racism.
---daphn8897 on 2/24/06

MANY things to consider mixing races. Not only social(though very strong) but physical, mental,& ethnic too. Using Ethiopian to believe one is black is like African only means black or German means white. Consider your & his family background. What about children? Their life ahead. There are many differences. If not, how could white & black races have lasted so long separate? There are reasons for ethnic pride other than racism. Your decision will affect MANY loved ones here & to come.
---mikefl on 2/22/06

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That's right Dee, not about the superficial; but, what lies at the heart of the matter. (1 Sam. 16:7)
---Leon on 2/17/06

Moses's wife was black. His brother and sister Aaron and Miriam talked about him and was mad at him. The woman Moses married was an ethiopan woman. But God straightened them out real quick and he punished Miriam and struck her with leperosy for 7 days. So this tells me clearly that we are all equal and it has nothing to do with the color of your skin. It's not about the outside but of the inside.
---Dee on 2/16/06

Skin color has absolutely nothing to do with relationships! I am a white Christian with freckles. The pigmentation in my freckles is the same that dark-skinned people have. God knew exactly what He was doing when He created people of all colors. The closer we are to the equator the darker skin we have so we do not burn up! See his character. Does he truly love God with all his heart,mind and soul! And most of all,PRAY TOGETHER! Ask God to direct your paths! Seek His will and He will bless you both!
---anna_jo on 2/15/06

Matt.11:28-29, "Come unto Me 'all' ye that labour and are 'heavy laden', and I will give ye rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of 'Me'; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls ........".

This next quote is not a negative, "Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus", then you won't see or care about others opinions. Simon Peter had a racial problem once, til shown otherwise by God, then rebuked by Paul because of it.
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 2/15/06

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Phil the Elder, Because we are in a fallen world, having children period is going to invite cultural child abuse. If you are a christian and having children you are inviting cultural child abuse in many countries, so should christians not have children? Interracial couples invite cultural child abuse no more than any other different way of doing things does. There are bigots everywhere - even, apparently, on this site.
---daphn8897 on 2/15/06

Phil: Your evasiveness clearly indicates a "YES" response to my question. The long term consequences of your actions may be disasterous if that's where your heart is. Repent!
---Leon on 2/15/06

So Leon, you believe in actively promoting situations that invite child abuse. I tend to think of the long term consequences of my actions.
---Phil_the_Elder on 2/14/06

I come from a ministry that is the most multi-cultural ministry in the area. We beleive all are equal in Christ. Seek God, be honest with Him, with all your fears, confusion. Pray together, seek God's perfect will. Race should never be a deciding factor, only God will for your lives. God's will is the thing that will mature this relationship and you in Christ. In a relationship it's not about us, but about our Lord and Savior. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added to you.
---sue on 2/14/06

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Phil: So, your point is about "instantly changing the culture"? Specifically, what culture would that be & what timetable for change (if any) do you envision?

Everyone knows children, regardless of nationality, can be cruel towards each other for many reason having nothing to do with skin color.

Amerasian children are the offsprings of not only black but "white" well.

I believe you've failed to make your point. My original question stands.
---Leon on 2/14/06

Leon. you missed my point, you can't instantly change the culture. Children can be very cruel to each other. Couples need to consider the stigma that they will be putting their children through. At least the USA is better than Asia, there Amerasian children often end up homeless, living of the streets sometimes even killed. It is the consequences of the actions that really count; it invites cultural child abuse.
---Phil_the_Elder on 2/13/06

I very much agree with Eloy. Read Boaz Brown by Michelle Stimpson. this book is a lovely story that has scripture verses all through it and about interatial relationships. You won't be sorry. U'll understand and feel more comfortabe about how you feel. Please get this book, It'll open your eyes scripturly it did mine. willing to send you mine if u like :-)
---judit4846 on 2/13/06

Phil_the_elder?: Are you a part of the non-accepting culture?
---Leon on 2/13/06

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Problem one is the cultural nonacceptance of children produced by subsequent marriages in most parts of the USA. The same problem Ameraisan children have in Vietnam and Korea. You have to think of what you are going to put the offspring through.

Problem two is that you can't legislate culture. White women in the South (USA) who date black men are considered white trash. Black men who date white women just become actual Targets for extremist groups. That is the current political reality.
---Phil_the_Elder on 2/13/06

I always say" If God is our Father then we are all brothers and sisters (spiritually). As long as your partner is a christian like yourself.. equally yoked.. then the world and it's bias are moot.
---duane8386 on 2/12/06

I was raised that it is a no-no. but God made blacks just as he did whites and other races. I don't know what the bible says about this so I can't help on that. All I know is that if it were forbidden, then God would have said so. Everyone has a heart and feelings and God has given each of us the breath of life. so we are all made in God's image. So you make a choice with your heart, not what others say about the matter.
---Rebecca_D on 2/12/06

I had a beautiful black girlfriend in California, and had no problem with it, but there were disapproving onlookers when we went out to the movies togteher. She was sensitive about what others and her family said. The same racist disapproval was directed at Moses by his sister Miriam when he married a black Ethipoian. God showed his approval by striking Miriam with leprosy, and afterward healed her. If you're both Christians and love each other, than continue in your love and ignore the racist gainsayers.
---Eloy on 2/12/06

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