Am I Unequally Yoked
I am a reborn again Christian walking with the Lord for approximately 10 years. I am planning to marry. My fiance has accepted the Lord and has been baptised but is not a devote church attender or studier of the Word. Are we equally yoked or could I be headed for danger?
Moderator - Your fiance sounds like a Christian in name only and not practice. Yes, you are unequally yoked.
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---C on 3/14/06
Helpful Blog Vote (6)
I do find it strnge that the questioner says "My fiance has accepted the Lord", and yet she is now called an apostate!!!
---alan_of_UK on 10/17/08|
Just because 2 people are not in the same growth or area of their walk doesn't at all mean they are unequally yoked. The Bible teaches not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, not a backslider or someone who is immature. I do believe that if you are more spiritual than your partner that it will cause problems but you are not considered unequally yoked in the Bible sense.
---john on 10/16/08|
Moderator, in my opinion, you just crossed the line for being judgemental of C's fiance. Your answer reflects that by judging his/her of their "works" or actions. I do not believe from this blog question that you know this person's heart or measure of faith, toward God. I believe if you accept God (as quoted), You get excluded from the "UNBELIEVING" heathens we are not to be yoked with.
Moderator - A Christian will walk a Christian walk. An apostate will not. A true Christian and an apostate would be unequally yoked. You disagree?
---Fred_S. on 10/15/08|
It's all about one's fruits [without judging or throwing stones at anyone]. Some go under the water dry sinners, coming up wet sinners!
Flesh or feelings alone will always fail one, especially when over riding our "born again" spiritual man! All you can do now is pray without ceasing.
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 3/15/06|
Obviously you are not equally yoked. To be be equally yoked you would have to be in a relationship that is "balanced" where you share joys and burdens (yokes) equally. This is not the case here and unless your friend demonstrates more enthusiasme for spirtual matters you will be a lonely christian in your home and that I am sure is something you can do without. P
---Pierre on 3/14/06|
" engagement is a vow that requires divorce for separation...show N.T. Scripture". Engagement is a vow to marry. This vow would have to be broken. I'm not talking of legal papers. I see that Joseph who was engaged to Mary thought of divorcing her quietly when he found out she was pregnant. He could have had her stoned. But the angel of the Lord explained that she was with child from the Holy Spirit. O.T. Teaching also shows that the engagement could not be broken unless there was fornication.
Moderator - John you are quoting the Law of Israel O.T.. Again show N.T. scriptures.
---john on 3/14/06|
I was married to a Christian who played church. His faith was superficial. When it came to letting the Holy Spirit change his heart, he decided it was better to leave me and find a new wife.
I suggest you reconsider your marriage. Pray and seek the Lord in this matter. Ignore your feelings and really pray and fast for guidance and wisdom.
The husband is supposed to be the spiritual leader. Your fiance can't lead you if he does not have a walk that is consistent.
---Madison on 3/14/06|
Equally yoked or unequally yoked, there is always the potential for trouble down the road. People will say and do anything if they want something bad enough. If a person is set on getting married he/she will become whatever the other person wants in order to make the marriage happen. There is just no telling what somebody will be like in the years to come.
---ralph7477 on 3/14/06|
Maybe your fiance hasn't found a church yet. God will send him and you where he can use you the most. Some people need motavation to study, maybe he just don't understand the bible and you and him could set down and study together. I wouldn't say you are headed for danger, because with God there is always help. I don't think you are unequally yoked either.
---Rebecca_D on 3/14/06|
Outstanding John T! And you were not judgemental at all with your response, as well as the others!
---Fred_S. on 3/14/06|
How do you and fiance fight? Does he always let you win? That may be an indication of his committment. It may be an act to "wed and bed" but to go no further.
Ask him a hypothetical: "Would you be upset if I postponed our marriage until I was more sure about your relationship with Jesus?"
A true believer will focus on Jesus, but the response of an unbeliever will focus on other things, making you feel guilty for asking the q. Then you have the answer.
---John_T on 3/14/06|
I would suggest allaying plans for marriage and encourage your fiance to get into Christ and into God more, invite him to go to church with you, read the same chapters silently in the Bible and then talk about the chapter afterward, take his hands and pray together, put on some Christian music and worship together. Then when you are walking together in the Lord, then make the plans for marriage.
---Eloy on 3/14/06|
The Bible says not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If your fiance is a believer then you are not unequally yoked. You may not be in total agreement in the positition and strength of your walk and this can cause difficulty. Also, according to Scripture, an engagement is a vow that requires divorce for separation. You have no right to break your vows for the reason stated.
Moderator - "engagement is a vow that requires divorce for separation". Show NT scriptures.
---john on 3/14/06|
Mod. I don't disagree with you statement. But "apostate"? That's a mighty strong word to "assume" a person has abandoned of renounced their faith. I accepted Christ at 12 yrs. old, but I was guilty of BACKSLIDING thru my "wild" teen yrs and early adult yrs. But the prodical son came home. And thank God, he didn't turn his face from me! All I'm saying here is "innocent until proven guilty", and by this question, we can't tell.
Moderator - Did you think you would have gone to heaven if you died in your backsliden state? It is better for C to not marry a backsliden or apostate person, then to weaken her Christian walk.
---Fred_S. on 3/14/06|