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I Spank My Kids A Lot

I spank my kids a lot. How can I stop doing that?

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 ---jocelyn on 3/15/06
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Dont' sweat the small stuff. Realize that each child individually is in his own place of growth and is to be responsible accordingly. I have five children ranging from ages 2-15 and I don't deal with any of them the same. I came to realize that I don't have to fight any of them for authority because authority has been GIVEN to me by Father God.
---Linda on 1/15/08


1. If you are spontaniously spanking them the moment of error, send them to their room, tell them you will be there shortly. Give yourself some cool-down time.
2. Start taking away their "fun" (depending on ages)as in no TV for week, no phone, internet.
3. Make them write sentances, like we had to do growing up.
But the important issue is take time for yourself to COOL-DOWN before the punishment.
---Fred_S. on 5/2/07


Soon you will realise the more you hit them the more it will get worse. The best thing that hurts them most is taking away privillages, it also encourages you do activities that they like, and activities that are taken away if they are disobedient. if you have to resort to hitting them it will do both you and them no good, because it will be done in anger, punishment is always best explained and without violence.
---Carla5754 on 5/24/06


Also, if you're not already doing this, whenever you punish a child, explain not only what they did wrong, but WHY IT'S WRONG. And an explanation like, "Because God says it's wrong," won't work for most kids. Give them a reason their young minds can comprehend, like, "Because it hurts someone." Tell them the mundane consequences of their crime. More often than not they'll understand. Just be prepared to give them a big hug afterwards if it makes them cry! ^_^
---david8576 on 4/23/06


Whatever you do, DO NOT spank when you are mad. Only spank a child after you've had time to cool off and judge whether or not they really need physical punishment to learn their lesson. Also, when you're angry, the adrenaline rush inhibits the sensation of pain. You may not realize just how hard you're spanking them. My parents practiced this, and I was only ever spanked four times (and I deserved it each time.)
---david8576 on 4/23/06




Jocelyn, it looks like you spank your kids to get rid of your frustrations more than to educate them. Such spanking is selfish and cruel.

One of my popular spanking was saying NO to them accompanied by a long dirty look. It worked.
---A_Catholic on 3/22/06


I made rules for myself of what situations would require a spank. Every wrong my children did had a result that they were well aware of from the start. Pray together, give space to one another(yourself and them each from each other), and if you get real angry start signing and/or reading the Bible at the top of our lungs (smile).
---Alexandra on 3/19/06


It depends to a certain extent on their age, and what you mean by spanking. I think if you need to spank them as a punishment, something has gone wrong earlier.
We we brought up my children, as toddlers, they occasionally receive single slaps on the thigh if they disobeyed. This was done immediately after the event. There was never enough force to leave a pink mark.
Later, witholding treats or privileges shoud be usefull
---alan_of_uK on 3/15/06


Jocelyn, I know the challenges of raising children and I have seen what doesn't work and what does. If you would just like someone to talk to, my penpal id is linda6563. My personal e-mail address will be in my profile.
---Linda on 3/15/06


What he usually does when I ask him if he hit his sister is he passes the blame to her. I ask, "Did you hit your sister?" and he says,"Sissy did this or that", trying to justify his actions. I just keep asking him until he admits that he hit her. What I do from that point on is upon the leading of the Spirit.
---Linda on 3/15/06




It is one thing to say the words, "Lord, I release them into your hands". It is another matter altogether to actually release them.

Disclaimer: I am NOT saying that I have never spanked a child or that I don't. A child about to run out into a busy street will probably get one...and when our four year old hits his 2 year sister, a spanking is probably on the way if he doesn't repent.
---Linda on 3/15/06


Maintaining the relationship, to me, is more important than enforcing my rights as a parent and trying to control them. Perfect love casts out all fear. A child who fears punishment will hide everything he does. You don't want them fearing punishment. You want them to reverence God as a Father who desires relationship above all. That will take care of everything.
---Linda on 3/15/06


If any of them should decide that they don't want to submit themselves, then their issue is with God, not with me, and I pray accordingly that they will come to the place where their whole hearts are bowed to the Lord Jesus Christ. The bottom line is this: if they don't listen, they don't change who I am in Christ nor do they change the Christ in me; they hurt themselves. I tell them that I hate to see them take that path since there is a better way, but ultimately it is their decision.
---Linda on 3/15/06


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