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Can I Remarry My Exhusband

I was married when I was a 18 it didn't last because we were too young to stay committed. I remarried and it lasted six years, but we couldn't get along and we both had an affair. Now I have started seeing my ex husband. Is it wrong for us to remarry? I think we can make it this time because I am a christian now.

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 ---kellie on 4/18/06
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Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer was not free to marry, and anyone marrying one is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Please read Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18. Both Matthew 19:9 and 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage. No!
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
---Glenn on 8/16/09


if you had you not remmaried then you could have asked the Lord to reconcile your marriage, but since you have remmaried then let that be that. A similar situation as yours, because I have had only one relationship (non married) since my divorce and I received Christ in my life after that one relationship. I question God and wonder should I reconcile but when i think about what I had to give up and how my unsaved ex does not want to live for God that's time waisted and life is too short.
---stacy on 4/30/08


Mam, maybe you should take your time and continue to seek God. Reason being, is that you don't know how it will turn out or if you are both ready for that. I'm not saying this religiously, but as your brother in Christ. I tried to get reengaged to my ex-fiance 2-times and both times it just didn't work, but we were determined to make it work and it didn't. I am glad that we both finally got in agreement with the Lord.
---Rickey on 2/15/08


Kellie, Deut. 24:4 states a man is not to remarry his wife after divorcing her if she married another after him. Also, Mark 10:11-12 states remarriage is adultery (scripture doesn't specify it's only adultery for "Believers" or for those who know better, but it applies to men and women in general). Lastly, you'll have to really study this and pray for your own understanding. Many will give you opinions, but only the Holy Spirit will give you truth. Remember, also, that Our Father forgives.
---AlwaysOn on 7/10/07


You seem to have researched your situation and can explain why it didn't work out the last two times. Whats more is that those last two times you did not know what real agape love was. Now since your saved you do. You two keeping being drawn back together even after you decided to end it. I would suggest give yourselves a trial year and if you still feel the same go for it. It would also help if you two would go to church together and get involved in a Couples Bible Study.
---Marcia on 7/10/07




Because you are a Christian now is not going to automatically make the marriage work now. I am trying to follow your line of reasoning. What about his spiritual state? Has he been born again? You may be stepping back into a hornet's nest. A chance you are taking. I would not go back to an ex but to each his own. Don't know the extent of the problems you and he had the 1st time around. You have alread lost out twice in marriage. You want to go for a third round?
---Robyn on 7/10/07


How long have you been a christian? Is your husband also a christian? If he is not saved Paul has advice in 1 Corinthians 7, seek the advice of the Elders in your church for guidance, take time to Fast/ pray to see if it is the will of God for you life. The answer should take the form of... How God can best work in both your lives according to his will, all the best.
---Carla on 7/10/07


Kellie: 1/2

To what extent are you "seeing your ex"? If you are having sex, then you would be compounding a problem through marriage.

If you are remaining chaste, and wish to marry, I STRONGLY suggest that you both go in to counseling, either pastoral or professional together.
---John_T on 4/19/06


2/2
Kellie: Each of you have past issues (your infidelity is a big one) that need to be addressed, and healed before entering into another marriage.

Months invested in counseling will prevent years of marital misery. If Ex does not want counseling, don't marry him. He is not willing to work on himself, surely he won't work on keeping a marriage intact.
---John_T on 4/19/06


Yes, in the final analysis it was all about power; power wrested away fro papel authority. The reformation was late in England, and as bloody. The point I made is literalism, as in divorce is used when it serves someones purpose, and dismissed when it does not, be they protestants, or Catholic. A divorced person with an 'itch' will find a loophole, literalism dismissed
---MikeM on 4/18/06




MikeM ... Henry seized on the Lutheran "Divine Right of Kings" to claim control of the church in England. Although Henry used the divorce as an excuse, it was not the real reason. With Protestantism already sweeping across Europe, the Reformation would have reached England anyway..
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/18/06


MikeM ... How familiar are you with English history?
The Reformation had already started with Martin Luther & Co in Europe. There were elements already in England but under cover. Henry's objection was to the pope having power over him, it was less about the divorce than power.
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/18/06


What is interesting is the beginning of protestantism, in England was with Henry the 8th, who wanted to divorce his wife for clearly non-Biblical reasons. The RCC said no, as literalism was on the RCC's side. (that time.) He then snubbed the RCC and formed his own Church( Anglican) This indirectly led to the reformation; thus we all enjoy religious freedoms coming from an unbiblical act from a adulterious King who defied Rome.
---MikeM on 4/18/06


First, the remarriage and affairs were adultry.

Romans 7:2,3
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
---chris on 4/18/06


Second, God would want you to reconcile and the man should not say no.

1 Corinthians 7:10,11
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
---chris on 4/18/06


Carla, you nailed the hammer on the nail correctly. It is God's will? Way too often, we do not ask God for His wisdom in finding a partner. We DO IT ON OUR OWN!!! Being a Christian does not mean good marriage. Christian people do marry the wrong person even if they are Christian. Let God pick your partner...that is what I did. My partner is the perfect fit for me.
---Michael_28 on 4/18/06


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Are you in a cell group or bible study group at your church? If not get in that & it will definitely give you wisdom, insight, character, etc. that you need for the man that God has for you. When you get a chance spend some time meditating on James 1:5.
---Rickey on 4/18/06


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