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Am I A Materialistic Person

My husband says that we are on a budget but continues to buy things for himself. For my birthday he wants to send me an ecard and feels that I am materialistic because I think I deserve more then an ecard. There were no Christmas, anniversary or valentine gifts or cards either.

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 ---Just_Wondering on 4/18/06
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He sounds like he is very selfish.
---shira on 5/1/07


Just wondering, yes, I suppose you are right.If your husband truly knows how important this is to you and does nothing about it, then you are right. Does he show his love in other ways?
sue
---sue on 4/20/06


Sue,
It is not the value on the gift it is the excuses he makes for not giving one. If we were truly broke and on a budget then this means in all things...he would not take the money to buy himself or his kids something if this is the case...am I right?
---Just_Wondering on 4/19/06


He can put a bit more thought into it then that I belive. Pick some flowers, make you something even dinner...a walk, a picnic, a time away and/or together, lots of things that aren't materialistic at all. If this is not agreeable to him, plan your own events &/or gift. Let him know this is what he give to you. Be happy about it.
---Alexandra on 4/18/06


Marital therapy.
---Madison on 4/18/06




My husband writes me his own card,sometimes poem and all; and I would rather have that than any store bought thing in the world.
(wellll, maybe not in the whole world)
It's a sad thing but true: love is measured with money these days.
luv,
sue
---sue on 4/18/06


Thank you all for replies. I just needed to ask this because I did not think I am alone in my feelings. Yes I buy him things and this year for his birthday I did not as a lesson. However his response was that I am doing "tit" for "tat" and that I only give a gift to receive and this is not the case.
---Just_Wondering on 4/18/06


I would hope he would be able to buy a small present, not just a card. An e-card is quite ridiculous. Do you buy him presents?
---alan8869_of_UK on 4/18/06


You deserve more. My wife says the same thing to me. And she is right. And ecard should be the bare minimum. Your husband should value you and cherish you, which means giving beyond just a card. Just because you are on a budget does not mean he has to be cheap.
---Alan_G on 4/18/06


There's a deeper root than what he is revealing. Meaning if he's buying himself things and not you, then he has a problem with greediness. If I were you, I would do the same to him on his birthday. He'll get the picture real quick. Does he buy you gifts all year long? What is he buying for himself? Something is wrong here. What's the reason he's doing this?
---Donna on 4/18/06




I hate to say it, but that should tell you about how much your hubby cares for you. Sorry to say that. And if you are cooking his meals, raising his kids, and washing his nasty draws, you indeed deserve a lot more than you are getting. Sounds like a control issue to me.
---Fred_S. on 4/18/06


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