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Daughter Afraid Of Driving

My daughter will be graduating in a few weeks from high school and has not gotten her driver's liscense. She really doesn't seem interested. She's an honor graduate and very conscientious, but not with driving. It makes her anxious. Any parent out there been through this with their child?

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 ---Cana on 5/3/06
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I know the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen, she is 22 and she has never had a car or liscense. She tells people she can drive because shes afraid of what they will think of her. Its really affecting her life, shes embarrased when her mother drops her off at work, she tries to lean back in the car so her friends dont see her with her mother. She has dreams about it all the time. But its a deep fear that overcomes her. She really wants to learn but shes too embarrased to ask anyone because shes afraid that they will look down on her or think that something is mentally wrong with her. She hates that everyone she knows can drive but her. Shes even concidered suicide because the fear is so raw.
---Olivia on 4/2/09


I am 29. I don't drive, but I've always been a responsible person with jobs etc.
---Kella3336 on 7/1/08


Your daughter probably has more sense, than anyone out here.>>>Do not push her. She can ride, yes indeed, cabs, busses, airplanes, trains, and the next door neighbors.
---catherine on 6/30/08


It could be the beginning or continuation of fear and anxiety disorder. It tends to run in families.
---Donna on 6/28/08


Hi, I mean this with all respect intended Eliza but it seems (to me) kind of strange that you attribute a lot of prior sin in your life to not being able to drive. I am 44 and I don't plan to ever drive--but we have a good bus system in my area and I walk a lot to keep semi in shape lol! Anyway, what's driving or not driving have to do with sin? Just asking, God bless ya :)
---Mary on 6/26/08




I have an 18 year old daughter, also graduating this year, who does not have her liscense for the same reason. As she matures, she needs to take more responsibility for herself, and i no longer provide rides except for some essentials. She needs to make her own arrangements for social activities, and it is not always possible. Consequently she is developing a desire to overcome her fear and assume the responsibility. Pray about the fear too.
---christina on 6/26/08


I would never encourage anyone to drive who was not 100% happy about doing so. There might be a physical reason why she is nervous (poor eyesight perhaps) or she might have witnessed a bad accident that has frightened her. Whatever the reason allow her to decide for herself. She will be even more nervous if pushed into it. Nervous drivers are the ones who often have the accidents so it just isn't worth the risk.
---emg on 7/30/07


I totally agree w/ Pueblo. I'm 17 and I fear driving as well. I want to, but when I get in the car, I freak out. the evil one tells us things to get us farther from God and to hinder God's plan. I have to remind myself that the evil one is trying so hard to stop me from doing this becasue God has a REALLY wonderful plan!! The better God's plan the harder the evil one tries to stop it!! Luke 1.37
---gary on 8/12/06


It is a trick of the devil. I had bad stress, and so when I started to drive to different places seeking God, the devil made me fear driving!
---Pueblo on 8/2/06


Let me just tell you fear can be overcome! I was the most fearfull and terrified person there is. I would stay in my house with shades pulled could not check my mail right outside the door it would take me all day, could not go in public or use the phone or work or even speak to people at all because of fear, if I overcame this FEAR everyone can. I just asked Jesus to give me the strength and did it afraid!
---eliza4969 on 5/4/06




I got my license at age 18 on the third try. Driving makes me very nervous, so I don't. I am not alert and don't have good reaction. Not driving is not what is wrong. The fear I have is what ids wrong.
---Ulrika on 5/4/06


emg- I am just trying to state the fact of the importance of getting over her fear of driving and the fact that if I can do it anyone can do it. also that people can (from experience) intensify that fear by telling them their right you shouldn't drive you might wreck, so then they enable that person to continue in that fear. if you drive you know how easy it is, after now driving I realize how foolish I was.
---eliza4969 on 5/4/06


2. Because you overcame your fear does not mean that someone else will, but I really hope that she does. I'm wondering where you acquired the idea that the 'mentally challenged' might not be capable of driving. That is taking this discussion to new heights (or should that be lows) so I think this could be a good time, for me at least, to leave the subject to others to continue.
---emg on 5/4/06


1. Eliza, I most certainly did not assume that this young lady lives in U.K., in fact I thought that she probably did not. I was telling how it is here, just as you say how things are where you are. However, what I do know is that the lady's honours degree will have no bearing on whether or not she will make a good driver or whether she will overcome this fear.
---emg on 5/4/06


emg- like I said before, The Fear Goes Away! after you just do it! I am 39 now! started driving 4 years ago, only practiced 2 weeks before I took the test and past 100% and totally was a nervous wreck with heart racing when I took the test. I could have avoided a lot of mistakes in my life (sin) if I had my licence early in my life.
---eliza4969 on 5/4/06


emg- no I am not saying everyone should be capable of doing everything. But the person who posted the question said, their daughter is a honor graduate, sounds capable to me, she is not mentally challenged. you assume she lives in UK well we don't know where she lives, where I live there is no way you can get everything done with walking and people tend to be bothered when you have someone asking you for rides all the time even if you pay them!
---eliza4969 on 5/4/06


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I don't know where you learn to drive in U.S. but in U.K. it is on the open road amongst whatever traffic is there. If someone who is nervous has access to an empty car park or obsolete airport runway to try to overcome their fear of driving that would be fine by me. Here there is no such thing as a quiet time of day on the roads and even our side streets on housing estates are chocker-block with cars. Driving is not a picnic for the experienced and must be a nightmare for the newcomer and the nervous.
---emg on 5/4/06


There are some fears that can be overcome by facing them. That is fine just as long as we are not endangering others when we decide to face them. Driving comes in a totally different category from e.g. spiders. I don't wish to be the one trying to cross a road when a nervous driver (pushed into driving by well meaning friends) is coming along for the first time. Eliza, are YOU saying that EVERYBODY should be capable of doing EVERYTHING? Cont.
---emg on 5/4/06


emg and Lissa- so you both are saying we are to give into our fears and let the fear overpower us? I think not we are called to overcome our fears through Jesus Christ!
---eliza4969 on 5/3/06


I've been through it myself back when I was a teen. I didn't get my license til I was 26 yrs old. Don't pressure her, because if she gets a license when she isn't ready she may get into an accident from being nervous. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her, she'll get one when she is ready.
---Lissa on 5/3/06


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continued: we pay more attention because of it!
---eliza4969 on 5/3/06


emg I disagree with you by experience. I feared driving and did not pursue it, so sin resulted in return because I could not take care of myself.If it was not for someone in my life who pushed me into driving I probably never would have. once she starts driving the fear about driving goes away, I have had my licence for 4 years now and have not had any accidents, "nervous drivers" are not the ones who often have accidents, it's people who are drunk, tired, talking on phones, etc...
---eliza4969 on 5/3/06


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