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Married And Flirting To Feel Good

I am a married women flirting with a married man. We know that it will never lead anywhere, it feels good knowing that other people find me pretty and interesting. Is this wrong?

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 ---LISALOCT on 6/8/06
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What a blessing to be married! If in a truly abusive situation (emotional, psychological, or physical) this is no excuse to flirt..seek help. If you're even remotely happily married, how would you feel if your husband was flirting with another woman? You're weakest when you think flirting is harmless-you will be surprised at how quickly even the littlest flirting can lead you places you never thought you would go from which you might find it difficult to return. A clean conscience is priceless.
---laura8395 on 5/13/08


And as far as the subject of this blog...I think it's terrible for a married woman or man to be flirting at all, unless it's with your own spouse. Perhaps if this woman flirted with her own spouse, there would be more romance between them. I am a single woman and I don't flirt...I am trusting that the Lord will bring the right person at the right time for me, I don't need to play the flirting game to get a man!
---Holly4jc on 5/12/08


My husband used to knock me around until I reached a size where I could huff and puff and blow his doors down. I get angry, punch a few holes in his door, that gets his attention. Oopsies.
---Holly4jc on 5/12/08

Just for the record, I did not write the post above, someone else did and they seem to be playing games, using my name. I have found someone's using my name on various blogs. I might not know who it is that is doing this, but God does and He says vengence is His and He will repay.
---Holly4jc on 5/12/08


My husband used to knock me around until I reached a size where I could huff and puff and blow his doors down. I get angry, punch a few holes in his door, that gets his attention. Oopsies.
---Holly4jc on 5/12/08


Don't you feel low and cheap doing that?
---Caring on 5/12/08




You're stuck on yourself and very self-absorbed. If your husband finds out he might not even care. Flirting with married men will throw you for a loop, God knows.
---Coloopy on 5/12/08


Yes it is wrong:). The bible says to avoid all appearance of evil. Have you thought about what spirit you are in when you desire to be lavished in compliments? You cannot serve 2 masters. If you are not in the spirit of God, you are wasting your time fliriting with SATAN and risking much. You must die to yourself and serve God:). It will take prayer, self control and awareness. My prayers are with you:).
---jody on 5/12/08


I will tell you what God said to me just the other day. I did not save you so that others can eye-ball you.
---catherine on 5/12/08


You will be the loser in the end. Solve the problems in your marriage,first.There are many,because you would not be doing this childish and dangerous thing. This happened to me before. I almost lost my life.Please give up this dangerous game.It could backfire on you.
---Robyn on 5/10/08


Every human person needs to be loved.But the kind of relationship also matters.So for one who has been given one by God and is failing to appreciate the gift which the lord has rendered to you.That in itself is a sin.So let us be proud of what the lord gives to us by continue loving and appreciating the true love with our true husbands and wives.
---emmanuel on 1/2/08




yes! as a male, who was caught up in the same thing, it does lead to something, it works in your mind, and flesh, if you are feeling unattractive from your spouse, go to counseling WITH your husband. get pastoral counseling, but please, before its too late, get help, for your marriage sake
---dennis on 1/1/08


Of course it is wrong. It is very wrong. Keep your eyes on your husband only. If you as much as look at another man to lust after him, Jesus says you have already committed adultery with him.
---Helen_5378 on 4/26/07


As soon as you looked his way, you began to walk in the counsel of the ungodly. When you began to flirt, you stood in the way of sinners. There is only one more progression to that and it is to sit in the seat of the scornful. To sit means to "rest" and rest is where intimacy is. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. The good news is that Christ in you meditates in the law of the Lord day and night and draws His water from the river of life.
---Linda6563 on 4/26/07


My girlfriend would always say...it's only harmless flirting...well guess what...there is no such thing...what she did hurt me and devistated my marriage...I am having a hard time forgiving her..I know I will, but I'm not there yet...this has caused much pain to what used to be called our friendship.
---Theresa on 10/11/06


Please stop now! I fell into sin by doing this. To believe it will lead nowhere is Satan deluding you.
Unfortunately there are hundreds of Christians who have fallen this way, and it only leads to bitterness and sorrow
---John on 7/6/06


If you think that it will never lead anywhere you are deluded. Every act of adultery starts with just one look or just one flirt. If you don't want it to lead anywhere, then why on earth are you doing it for?
---Helen_5378 on 7/5/06


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It is wrong, knock it off.
---Julie on 7/5/06


LISALOCT: You delude yourself, and delusion DOES NOT COME FROM GOD

You and hubby both need counseling. Flirting is a wretched way to meet your percieved need, "other people find me pretty and interesting"

Scripture tells us to "avoid all appearances of wrong-doing", and this fits that description.

You consider this "harmless", because it "not going anywhere". Yet SURELY IT WILL and are never in control of the consequences of sin.
---John_T on 6/15/06


Lisaloct, you seem to love to be adored. You like recognition. You feel good when others would tell you you are pretty. Why? Aren't you satisfied with what you see on your mirror? Having married men telling you you are pretty is not the best proof that you are indeed pretty! You seem to be insecure about the way you look! Did your husband forget his duty to complement you with what you have done to yourself?
---Raine on 6/9/06


I totally agree with Donna. Who are you to God? You are His beloved daughter, and He sees you as worth more than a sex object. Study who you are to God and begin to incorporate that identity into your being and you won't need the attention of another person to validate yourself.

Neil Anderson has a list of verses available on his website. Check them out.
---Madison1101 on 6/8/06


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You know that the enemy comes to kill steal and destroy. He starts with something very innocent like flirting and then even though it was not planned something more. Flirting is disrespectful to your husband and you are being unfaithful...Your relationship with the Lord as it deepens will lead to a strong sense of self and you won't need this man's interest.
---Pat on 6/8/06


Yes. If you have to go outside of your marriage to get someone to notice you, then your marriage is lacking something. this is the same as lusting. I see men that are good-looking, but that is as far as it goes, I don't flirt with them. But of course I have a stable marriage and I don't need to flirt.
---Rebecca_D on 6/8/06


Jesus said that to even look at another person with lust is the same as adultery --- watch out -- you are allowing temptation. Never say that it will not lead anywhere -- all adultery starts with just one look or one flirt.
---Helen_5378 on 6/8/06


There is danger.

Fantasy while not entirely wrong (but definately harmful in this context) has a way of making reality stink.

This could root some deep bitterness in you if you aren't careful and you might destroy your marriage.

Don't be surprized I say this, I was doing this, and soon I had no feelings left to work out my will in loving my wife.

Now I have a 12 year old girl who hardly knows me, this is wrong.
---Pharisee on 6/8/06


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Although I previously responded, I whole heartedly agree with Donna on this one. No one has ever truly changed by having their sin pointed out. Finding out who Jesus is and what He did in redemption....well, that's another matter altogether and enough power to change the whole world.
---Linda6563 on 6/8/06


We're all telling Lisa how wrong she is, but not giving her the solution. Lisa, find out who you are in Christ Jesus. You are God's righteousness through Christ Jesus. You are more than a conqueror. God said in Jeremiah, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." Find out who you are in Christ Jesus, let God instill that inside of you, come to a place of love and acceptance of yourself, and you will have Joy Unspeakaable, and will love yourself as God loves you. Amen?
---Donna9759 on 6/8/06


Yes it is wrong. Would you want your husband flirting with married women? Besides, if you cause him to lust after you, then you have caused another person to fall into sin! Jesus warns against that!
---wes on 6/8/06


Are you a Christian? If, so you need to know that the activity you're engaged in is what God calls adultery. (Matt. 5:27) Please don't think it won't go any further than it already has. Don't play with fire! Stop it now or else you'll be very sorry when it's time to pay the consequences for your sexually illicit actions.
---Leon on 6/8/06


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VERY wrong! Don't you honor your husband? Would it bother you if he flirted with co workers? Don't you honor God? HE says to stay away even from the appearance of evil!
You may find yourself in over your head. Be faithful in ALL ways! Use some self control!
---NVBarbara on 6/8/06


I think it is wrong. You are both married. How would you feel if your husband and his wife were flirting. You can't say that wouldn't bother you. I know as a married woman I would never do this to my husband or would he do this to me. I think flirting is stepping over boundaries of someone elses husband or wife. If you are married why do you feel the need to flirt. To me sounds like you aren't getting the attention at home that you need to get it from someone.
---debbie23453 on 6/8/06


Yes ... yes ... yes ... WRONG
---alan8869_of_UK on 6/8/06


Let's say you are the man's wife and he is asking you, as his wife, if it is OK to be flirting with another woman. What would you say?

Matthew 7:12 "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them" (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.)

Like we tell children playing dangerous games: "It is all good untill someone gets hurt." (And someone IS going to get hurt.)
---Bruce5656 on 6/8/06


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He gave you an armor to put on. Trust Him and receive His strength to walk in the full counsel of God. Then you will stand on the rock that cannot be moved and sit with Him in full rest and intimacy.
---Linda6563 on 6/8/06


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