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Married But In Love With Other

I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend. The problem is I am married with three kids. I don't think I ever realized how much in-love with him I was and now I can not stop thinking about him.

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 ---what_to_do on 6/8/06
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Love your husband.
---Bj on 5/17/11


Put your children first. If you give up on the marriage you now have, you will be depriving them of living with both parents that they love, in a home that is secure. As children so often do, they will probably wonder if they are at fault for the marital breakup. Divorce always harms the children.

Being "in love" with someone else does not justify the pain and confusion your children will suffer if you act on your feelings.
Concentrate on making your present marriage the most satisfying it can be for both of you.
Difficult though it may be,accept the fact that you ex boyfriend is indeed EX.
---Donna66 on 5/16/11


My condolences to you. You are in one of the worse snares satan uses to wreck one's lives,mind and emotions. Loving someone from afar is torture.You are in the throes of lust.Nothing good can come from this.Read Phillipians ch 4 and then follow what is written there! For your benefit.
---Robyn on 5/16/11


Something to consider. Love is an action more than attraction. If you are still in love you can also fall out of love, which is what it appears to be with your husband. Marriage is a great challenge which takes commitment. This is what you made a covenant with God to do. The grass always seems greener on the other side but their are the same challenges and considering you have three children it will be even more difficult.

Set your mind on the things that are above not those on the earth.
---willa5568 on 5/11/11


Your husband loves you. Work on controlling your thoughts.
---Concerned on 5/9/11




Get over this love affair,it will destroy you ,your husband and three children.

Dr George
---Dr_George on 1/12/10


"I don't think I ever realized how much in-love with him I was and now I can not stop thinking about him."


You think its possible you think about him all the time because youve already convinced yourself things would be better with him than you husband?

The grass is always greener....
---JackB on 12/9/09


Hi,lets first read 1st Corinthians 13, people say they love others but really love encompasses so much more than a four letter word, so lets see first what love is,love is a person and that person has to be formed in you his name is Jesus Christ,love grows like anything worth while it takes time to nurture.don't look to others to be fulfilled find Christ in you and begin to love who you are in him,then you will see clearly what love is.Thanks.
---beany on 12/8/09


well i went thru the same thing. head over heals for my ex. never stopped thinking about him and its been 15 yrs. untill i left my husband for my ex and regretted it. people change and its wasnt the same, and i lost alot. my reputation family and friends and my kids resent me. so i think its better that you see a therapist and help you thru this. and see what your therapist suggest...cause sometimes you confuse your lonelyness or you might be going thru depression or griefness . and you dont know it..
---noemi on 12/8/09


What to do is realize that love in this sense of the word is a feeling, that is fickle, and would easily be spoiled when you have no money because you pay child support, regret the betrayal of one who loved you with his will and not feelings. (that's what marriage is)

Now go and apply your will to loving the one whom you vowed to love, love according to your will which you are not doing when you "can't stop thinking" about the other.

You can stop, so stop it!
---Pharisee on 4/29/07




Hello my dear sister. What you are feeling is not love but mere emotion which is fuelled by some memories of things you did together. Love is what Jesus did for us on the cross. He decided to redeem us even when it cost His life. Decide to be faithful to you husband and allow the Holy Spirit to put the spark in your marriage. He has done it for me. Praise the Lord!
---Janet on 11/17/06


Thanks Paul.......
..........rachel..
---Reiter on 11/15/06


Billy Graham said marriage is not an emotion. It is at 1st stars in the eyes etc.not that we dont feel that way but we dont feel like that always. He said it is a choice. So when U wake up and even if your hubby is not prince charming anymore-make that choice this day I love this/honor him. Billy said after awhile U will feel it. They say all things in 21 days are habit. For protection of the marriage stay away from your ex -get rid of any pix, letters, memories so U then remove temptation.
---Jeanne on 11/14/06


2nd part some men/women get better looking w/age some dont- but that doesnt equate w/love. Maybe U are not remembering the "real" relationship a lot of the time we remember only the good but during it was both. A funeral the person could have been as mean as a snake but only the good is recalled. Ask your Pastor tell him what is going on so he can pray & ask for an older woman that wont gossip. Dont tell hubby it will hurt him. Get help 1st then see what happens.
---Jeanne on 11/14/06


You'll have to jump back in the time machine and go back to the 60's or 70's, to the flower power era. Bell bottoms, embroidery, peasant tops and lots of dope. Or did you return to us in a spaceship? Song was from Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young.
---Paul on 11/14/06


Who is the wise singer who uttered, "If you can't be with the one you Love then Love the one your with." Take his words to heart and Let your past go.

rachel
---Reiter on 11/14/06


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What To Do: I think you are suffering from the perverbial "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. You are probably longing for a time in your life at which your ex was a part of. Perhaps a time of less responsibility (3 kids can be exausting) or more free time and "fun". You have so much to loose and I am sure if your ex was so wonderful, you would have married him. Is he worth loosing your family? My guess is no. Turn to your husband. Love him.
---mary on 6/8/06


When you have a deep passionate love affair ,sorry to tell you,but the motivating factor isn't love,it is lust. Lust is what first draws you and also a person remembers the part of the relationship which is the most charged with attraction. Love is a choice,rebuke those thoughts in Jesus name, and stop committing adultry. To lust after one in your heart is adultry. Choose to love your husband and remember ,memories are never accurate,they become a fantasy over time.
---Darlene_1 on 6/8/06


You have to realise that is sin. You need to ask the Lord to not only forgive you but to help you let him go (the ex boyfriend that is). Thinking of another when married is the same as adultery.
---Helen_5378 on 6/8/06


Your ex apparently never really loved you as much or you'd be married to him.

Obvoiusly, this is a temptation.

Realize it as such, and deal with it accordingly.

CSL wrote that marriage vows come under the category of JUSTICE, which means keeping promises you made.
---Jack on 6/8/06


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You have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer you who live, but Christ who lives in you, and the life that you now live, you live by faith in the Son of God, amen?
---Donna9759 on 6/8/06


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