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Youth Pastor Dates His Kids

Is your youth pastor allowed to date kids under his leadership? Why or why not?

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 ---Alan on 6/12/06
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No. Our youth pastor is married. I don't know of any Biblical mandate against it but, in this day and age, I wouldn't call it wisdom. Are you talking about dating kids under the age of 18?
---Linda6563 on 6/2/08


Nooooooooooo! Because of his leadership. This will weaken his testimoney and possibly throw a damper on his abilities to lead. You have to be an example to others and live up to high standards when you are in a leadership position. It is best not to do this.Could cause to many problems on down the road. Youth pastor should date somone else, preferably from another church. Keeps everything on the up and up. Never let your good be thought of as evil.
---Robyn on 7/15/07


Having been a youth pastor, I wouldn't have dreamt of dating kids under my leadership. It crosses waaay too many boundaries. I even had a hard time devoloping friendships with my volunteers, who we close to my age, because of my position in the church.
---Katie on 7/14/07


The use of the word "kids leads me to think that Alan is not talking abput 24 years olds.
In the UK, at least in my own circles, "kids" would mean people under the age of of 16 or so, and it would be quite wrong for the youth pastor to date them. Even if no impropriety took place, the "kids" would come to think romantically of the pastor, and that would be either dangerous or ultimately deeply disappointing.
---alan8869_of_UK on 8/12/06


Alan what age range are you speaking of when you say 'kids'? Regarding a 24 year old 'youth', many 24 year olds where I am are now taking their own small 'kids' to church. I personally do not think that it is wise for a youth pastor to date one of the young people.
---Mac on 8/12/06




No ,it crosses the line in ALL areas. He is supposed to lead the children to Christ , not pick up youn girls .He almost sound like a child predator. Sounds like you need a new Youth pastor
---benna5383 on 8/12/06


pkay: 24 is not a youth. Youth are under the age of 18, they are minors, usually in school yet. A 24 year old would be college and career age.
---Madison1101 on 6/14/06


pkay, I don't think a 24 yr. old girl qualifies for a youth group. I call them young adults. But I agree, let's not rush to judgement here. If the parents of the youth give their concent, then so be it. But if the relationship goes sour for some reason, it will be a lot of uneasy feeling for all.
---Fred_S. on 6/13/06


Let us not rush to say no its unethical. Imagine a 27 year old youth pastor dating a 24 year old girl within his group of youths.anything wrong with that if the dating is orderly and dignified?
---pkay on 6/13/06


Totally wrong, unethical, unprofessional, and a boundary violation.
---Madison1101 on 6/12/06




It would be wise for the church to make it clear before the person takes the responsibility that there is no dating. That would settle it before it happened. Better yet, that the pastor would be married. That way there would be a husband and wife team as an example that other young people could follow.
---john on 6/12/06


Question--how old is the youth pastor, and how old are the faithful he's dating?

How do you know for sure they are dating?

If indeed is it dating, it would be a violation of professional ethics and pastoral boundaries, in my opinion--but can you actually say its wrong?
---Jack on 6/12/06


A Youth Pastor dating or having a relationship with a young person under their leadership is unethical, it is grounds for termination and and permanently revoking any ecclesiastical credentials in most mainline denominations.
---notlaw99 on 6/12/06


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