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Should I Seek A Divorce

Don't know if I should seek divorce. Husband had an affair a year ago and we lived apart for 4 months and said he changed and moved back in. He is also very violent and disrespectful. I am currently 6 months pregnant and have a 2 year old. What should I do? He is not living here right now. Threw him out.

Moderator - If he is truly violent, which only you know, at minimum I would not have him around while you are pregnant.

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 ---Chrissi on 6/25/06
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seek a marriage counsellors or help from professionals to save your marriage. You are pregnant now. you can live happily with him if the right help is given. do not think of divorce...
---a on 3/11/07


Because I have been through a similar situation and know the heartache involved I would strongly suggest that you go to a Christian councelor or a Pastor to help you make this difficult decision. This blog will only confuse you because so many people have different opinions and beliefs about this subject. I will pray for you.
---KathyLH on 3/7/07


Chrissi,
Just want to let you know that I'm still praying for you. I hope things are better and that you are doing well.
---KathyLH on 7/12/06


3.
If your two year old has seen the violence there is a need for a stable, and loving atmosphere. Especially so because of the impending birth. Children respond to new siblings in differrent ways. Make him/her as much a part of this wonderful experience as you can.
With Dad away, and a new baby coming a small child can easily feel left out through no fault of yours.
God Bless, I'm hoping the best for you and yours.
---lynet on 6/26/06


2. You can make the visitaton easier for yourself by bringing in a friend or family member as a third party who will either transport the children to their home, or stay at your home while you leave so he can visit the children. These arrangements can be made in court if you'd like.
Until you feel confident you are able to be in your husbands company without fear of him repeating his abusive behavior you should act with caution.
---lynet on 6/26/06




1.
Good advice below.
Also, you should make a police report, and get a personal protection order. This will hopefully keep him away from you while you decide what course you will take. This may be difficult especially with a small child and a baby on the way. Be prepared in case he tries to use the children as a reason to come back into the home.
---lynet on 6/26/06


Chrissi, How terribly hard this must be for you. I concur with the counseling suggestions. I also agree that you should be physically separate from him.
---daphn8897 on 6/26/06


madison1101 is EXACTLY correct.

As a parent, your first proprity is to protect the innocent children and you. All else is secondary. If you are injured, who will care for them?

Distance and safety create a new lens to see from afar what you have been blind to, due to nearness.

Therapy is NOT expensive, it is an investment in your life and your children's lives. Therefore while it cost some, you WILL be better for it afte you experience healing.
---John_T on 6/26/06


Separate, stay separate, and get therapy. Protect yourself and your child.
---Madison1101 on 6/25/06


Get counsling. This post cannot begin to help you with such a serious problem. Stay away if he hurts you.
luv,
sue
---sue on 6/25/06




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