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In Love With A Non-Christian

I know that the Bible warns us about being involved with those who do not believe but for the past month I have fallen in love with this guy but he not born again. What should I do?

Moderator - Stop dating him if you are a Christian.

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 ---Sebaga on 7/6/06
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Clark, I don't think Christians are condemning this lady but God did teach us to be equally yoked and has many applications.
---shira4368 on 4/27/14

it is unfair for believers to condemn one in this situation. God is not looking upon you with hate, but with guidance. His word is created for us to be guided by, and sometimes he guides us to do the unthinkable.Look at the story of Hosea...the world may think otherwise, but if you are pursuing the Lord, wait on Him and he will make known His path. Its great to get godly advice, but it is even greater to follow God's call whatever it be. The Lord will always love you and "he works all things together for the good of those who love him." If you were to marry this man it may be a challenge, but God can redeem all things and use it for glory. All choices have consequences, good and bad, but God will never leave you nor forsake you.
---Clark on 4/26/14

Jed, you are so right concerning the passage in (2 Cor. 6:14-17). By this anology Paul taught that it is not right to join together in common spiritual enterprise with those who are not of the same nature (unbelievers). It is impossible under such an arrangement for this to be done to God's glory. Christians are not to be bound together with non-believers in any spiritual eterprise or relationship that would be detrimental to the Christian's testimony within the body of Christ (1 Cor. 5:9-13: 6:15: 10:7-21: James 4:4: 1 John 2:15).
---Mark_V. on 6/20/12

"If it is the Christ's Will, He will make this relationship work."
---Linda on 6/17/12

We can know Christ's will by looking in the Bible. He's already said not to do it. There's really not a whole lot to guess about with this subject.
---Jed on 6/17/12

If it is the Christ's Will, He will make this relationship work.
---Linda on 6/17/12

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

This verse may have to do more with bussiness partners, than with marriage.

There are just toooooo many examples of devout Jews, male and female marring none jews male and female to limit this verse to marriage only
---francis on 6/6/12

Read your bible, see how many devout jews were involved with non jews

Start with Esther
Look at Judah
Consider Ruth
Peek at Tammar
Check out Joseph's wife, the priest of Egypt's daughter

Then look at this wartime law:

Deuteronomy 21:10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,

Deuteronomy 21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife,

OUTRAGOUS a devout Jews marring the woman of his enemies!!!!
---francis on 6/6/12

Please do not go with him the devil will use him to drag you down, I married the man I loved and we are now divorced. A lot of hardship, and now I love another non chistian. I refuse to go there, even though we live in the same place and I see him often. I just pray for him. That is all you can do, it is the best you can do and the best for him. Pray for his salvation and ask God to change your heart. You can control your feelings, do not dwell on romatic fantasies.
---deborah on 6/5/12


2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (King James Version)

14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God, as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
---Gareth_Rodway on 4/29/11

leave that man alone.

1st 2 Corinthians 6:14

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

2nd James 4:4

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
---Gareth_Rodway on 4/27/11


You must understand what love is. Love is not a feeling, which I am sure is what you are describing. It is an action done from the heart. I promise you, you do not fall into love, because just as fast as you fall in, you can fall out.

Being with an unbeliever is not sin but it is not wise either. I want to encourage you to trust God and be patient, He will bring a Godly man into your life.

I would also like you to consider this. Dating a person does not necessarily help you to know them better, some people are very manipulative and deceiving. Don't be in a hurry and remember the blessing that comes with being single for the time being.
---willa5568 on 4/27/11

My condolences to you. Your disobedience is going to bring you a lot of pain and misery.Trying to make a go of it with a christian is a daunting and difficult task, by itself. Why do we always chose to disobey and bring trouble and pain into our lives.You have been warned. Whatever happens to you will be a concoction that you brewed.
---Robyn on 4/23/11

I read through this blog and the thing that comes into my heart is, are these people Christains? If Jesus was one of tge responders on this blog will he say ' run for your life or you die, suffer'My best advice for you is put it in Prayers and give God time to respond. Your life might end up being a miracle. we all need to read the Bible without the novelist attitude. If you read about Jesus, he died for sinners by the meanest of punishments and got enthroned to the right hand of God, what is it that you will suffer from that unbeliever that will be great than what Christ suffered? Read the whole story about Paul and the Corithians !! Bible says meditate/study the word, not pick out a verse! Caution: pray to God and wait for him to respond
---Samuel on 4/23/11

Cathy: I stick to my answer. It is so many people out here now trying to pass as Christians and don't even know the meaning. You marry one or even befriend one and you usually regret it.Just because you are a believer does not mean you are perfect. Christians have the same problems as others.
In another blog I commented a little on that.Our lives are not going to suddenly become a bowl of cherries because we gave our lives to the Lord. We sometimes are tested beyond belief and don't even know if we are going to pass that test. Its not easy being a Christian. Not for the faint-hearted.
Non christians are not interested in the things of God. But we don't give up on anyone. They may receive Christ before it is too late.
---Robyn on 9/11/09

Doug - I commend you for your reply, how correct and biblical is your answer!!! And to you, Robyn, I don't know what kind of answer you think that was, but it is certainly NOT the "admonish with love" answer we are commanded to do. You should look around and note that there are many unequally yoked relationships that are not "hellish" in the sense of bad relations, but rather it is more what Doug says: simply a fleshly gratification and never a soul understanding. It can work, but it's quite sad for the true Christian.
---cathy on 8/27/09

If you let your feelings, cast down Gods protective command to only marry "In the Lord", you have forsaken
The protection His word had for you.
Once his and your lusts, run their course, you will come to the horrifying realization, your relationship was void of any spiritual depth. There is NO promise you can save him.
You may Well, spend the rest of your life, not being able to share your true heart with the man you have become one flesh with..... Even if he is a " nice guy"
If you are truly born of love, he will have NO sensitivity
To those things most dear to your heart.
Do you wany a husband who can satisfy only your flesh, but will never really know you?
---Doug on 8/27/09

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Be obedient and do as God said do or get ready for Hell to overtake you and your home. Get out now! The worse is yet to come.

It is hard enough to live with a so-called Christian. Run! Fast! And call on the name of Jesus.
---Robyn on 8/26/09

i know how you feel,i too is experiencing such situation, i know its not right for me but I'm thinking that i can help him draw near to God...its not easy to say stop dating him...but let's just know where to stop...
---gorgeous_gel on 8/26/09

Christians should never marry non-Christians. We should ask God to choose our mates for us & wait for Him to do it. He'll reveal His choice at the proper time.
---Betty on 7/14/09

And when Paul states that all things are allowed but not all are beneficial this is Paul repeating a statement the Corinthians had wrote him, which he then later refutes. Nowhere does it say in New Testament scripture that you cannot marry an unbeliever.
---Lee on 7/11/09

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It seems that you have already made up your mind to be smarter than God by doing what you already know is against him. You already know what God wants you to do so asking us is probably not going to make a difference. You have a big choice to make. I hope you make the right one.
---john on 2/7/09

He won't condemn you for it. maybe God won't but Satan will after all your marrying one of his, did you consider that before you gave the person a unbiblical set of advice.

When this persons turns with the tide and rebels in the marriage will you be there for her, be able to replace the Godly love and comfort she may of Gotten from a Godly man.

Provide, and give her a roof over her head when it all go's wrong and there's a great guarantee it will !
---Carla3939 on 2/7/09

Seeing all these people on here saying "leave him, hes a sinner" almost seems selfish in a sense. God is love. Thats all He wanted us to do. If you genuinely love this person, and he loves you and respects your beliefs, i think its just fine. he could come around one day. Yeah, there may be more heartache, but, God loves us and his heart aches every day too. 1 Cor 7:12-15 As long as youre prepared for the road ahead, go for it. To just leave someone you feel this strongly about is almost like comparing skin color or any other difference. The passage about being unequally yoked was just God being protective...he knows theres heartache involved and he wants to spare us. But, if youre willing to go through it, he wont condemn you for it.
---Elisa on 1/12/09

Mess the devils son and You'll get in trouble with your father inlaw Not A Good Idea!
---Carla3939 on 9/26/08

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1 Corinthians 7:12-17
12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean, but now are they holy.
15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
---Child_of_the_Most_Hi on 9/25/08

You must give this guy up immediately and then ask the Lord to forgive you. You won't have peace until you do. We must not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers..... your life would be nothing but misery.
---Helen_5378 on 7/13/07

If you are a born-again Christian, then you must drop this man immediately. It will be much easier to do it now rather than wait. God does not want His people unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14).
---Helen_5378 on 9/26/06

A True child of God is in for much "heart-ache" if they refuse to wait on the Lord in regard to a mate, and for anything for that matter! Marrying a sinner, means one will be "stick with that sinner", and he/she might not convert, causing much distress, one can pray for their salvation, but that choice is their's. It's best to wait on the Lord. God Bless.
---Mrs._Morgan on 9/26/06

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Run from him....what can darkness (unsaved) and light (saved) have in common? If you have committed any sexual sin, like fornication, you should repent of that too.
---sam on 9/26/06

Marriage of a Christian to a non-Christian may well be fraught with peril. It may be at times inexpedient, unwise, or extremely dangerous spiritually. However, the Bible does not teach that it is sinful.
---nina on 9/26/06

You have no choice, based on the Bible - leave him. (The sooner the better.) But, watch out - he may try to fool you - even to the point of claiming to be a Christian. If he does claim to be a Christian, have someone else disciple him and don't date for at least a year. (Even than, don't date if you don't see the "fruit" of the Spirit.)
---wivv on 7/30/06

Sebaga, fall in love with JESUS. Everyone here is right, their answers are good, but no one here is telling you that you NEED to FALL IN LOVE WITH JESUS. How do you do that? You get to know Him for the Wonderful person He is. He is your Peace, Your Strength, HE IS THE JOY OF YOUR LIFE, "Christ is your life." Share your heart with Jesus, talk to him like you talk to your boyfriend. Walk with Him each and every day like He is your best friend because HE IS!!!!
---Donna9759 on 7/7/06

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Sebaga: Can you not see the problem in this statement you made, "I know that the Bible warns us about.. but...I"?


It is like the sin of witchcraft (1Sam15) and it is doing as Eve did when Satan asked her, "Do you REALLY think that God meant what he said?"

Either God said it and meant it, or else he is a liar.

Doing what pleases you, instead of what pleases God will NOT bring his blessings.
---John_T on 7/6/06

Stop dating him now, it will be harder to stop later and totally disastrous if you should marry him. BE YE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED TO UNBELIEVERS.
---emg on 7/6/06

The Bible does not warn against being involved with those who do not believe. It commands it! Have you read the passage? II Cor 6:14-18

You have a choice to make. Do you turn from your (sinful) relationship and do the right thing? Or do you chose to continue in it?
---Bruce5656 on 7/6/06

This is not to deny or nullify the feelings you have for this person but remember, strong feelings or even love does not justify what is wrong. Think of the drug addict. Their dependence is real but that does not justify the addiction. Think of the individual who is in love with someone else's husband. It is a force to be reckoned with but (as with your feelings) must be taken control of to avoid destruction.
---Bruce5656 on 7/6/06

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if you continue this relationship and marry this person, you will pay for it the rest of your life and it will affect your children and grandchildren and their children. It will affect children after you are dead.
---shira on 7/6/06

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