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I Am In So Much Pain

Why is it so painful? My ex-husband died. Is it wrong to grieve so much? When will pain go away?

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 ---ilga7853 on 7/21/06
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I'm sorry for your loss. Its not wrong to grieve and feel sorrow. Seek Him, you'll find all the comfort you need. Now the pain might seem unbearable, but fear not for "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33. The Lord is closest to the broken hearted, He rescues those who are crushed in Spirit. Psalm 34:18" Give Him your pain, commend yourself to Him, and you'll find peace.
---LaLupe on 12/21/07

Jesus bore all of your pain and heartache on the Cross. Give Him the grief and sorrow and let Him heal you. Bless you sweet one.
---Helen_5378 on 12/21/07

Ilga-Grief is right or wrong to it. The pain may not totally vanish. But the anguish will ease.It won't STAY foremost in your mind.

Almost anybody left behind feels some guilt.. False guilt, but real feelings.

There may be other losses to grieve too. Loss of a dream that the relationship might be revived? Loss of plans for your future or your children's? I know nothing about your situation. But somewhere down the line, you might look at other things involved. Bless you.
---Donna2277 on 7/23/06

I am sorry about your lost, It's not wrong to grieve, you had a life together. The pain will go away will you stop telling God about your pain, and start tellin your pain about your God -Peace and Blessing
---tonya3849 on 7/23/06

Queen Elizabeth II of England made a profound remark for times of mourning and bereavement:

Grief is the price we pay for love--and it shows we can and do love.
---Jack on 7/23/06

I don't know all of the circumstances hon, but if God had truly joined you together the divorce does not neccessarily stop a part of you from dying as well with his death. Hopefully it's not guilt from skeletons in the closet, so to speak. You're in my prayers and may our precious Lord comfort you in this time of grief. Those who are of like faith will mourn with you as you mourn and rejoice with you when you rejoice. May our precious Lord bless you.
---Shari on 7/22/06

But not the same, Madison, as for a partner who has stood by you, and who has gone on loving you?
---alan8869_of_UK on 7/22/06

I understood it was her ex who died. My husband's ex died last year. Her life had been going downhill for years. She had walked away from the Lord 30 years ago. She was driving drunk and ran a red light. I grieved for her because there's a good chance she is not in heaven. And, I grieved for her children who had to watch it all end this way.
---Susie on 7/22/06

you have a good point Alan. Also, depending on Ilgas circumstances, such as length of time since the divorce and many other things, there may well be old wounds unhealed. I have been divorced quite some time, grieved that loss for years...and just this week found myself grieving the loss again when my ex's crack addiction escalated with frightening consequences. Ilga's loss may be greater, but I know Christ is able.
---christina on 7/22/06

alan: I caught this the deceased was her ex. That is irrelevant to her grief. I am sure that when my ex dies, I will mourn similarly.
---madison1101 on 7/22/06

Only one person, Jack, seems to have opicked up the fact that the man who died was Ilga's ex-husband
Ilso seems unable to understand her grief for her ex, and may have some guilt to add to the gruef.
---alan8869_of_UK on 7/22/06

Ilga, your loss may cause you to feel you are alone...but please try to remember that Jesus never leaves us or forsakes us, and the comforter is always there for us. He hears your cry's, and knows that deep part of your heart, and holds your tears and holds you in His hand. He feels your pain. I pray you may be able to turn to Him and allow Him to heal, to comfort. Tell Him all. BLESS YOU
---christina on 7/22/06

3. that God knows what His doing even when we don't understand. He uses everything that happens to us for a purpose. I don't go anymore. I know that God has healed me to go on with my life. Her time is now with Christ, and my job is to do the best I can with the time God has allowed for me. One day it will be my turn and my kids will grief for me, and then there turn and their kids for them. God has a purpose for you, thank God for the time He has given you. Just my thoughts to you at this time of pain.
---Lupe2618 on 7/21/06

2. I cried so many times along there. One day when I arrived at the cementary I saw a lady laying on the ground asleep. I thought she was hurt but when I talked to her she told me she was laying with her daughter. She told me she found it comforting to do that. I told her there was nothing wrong with it. We met and made real good friends God gave me the opertunity to witness to her. After that I met so many there and both of us would help others. Many things of God we don't understand. We walk with faith
---Lupe2618 on 7/21/06

ILga, I lost my wife, and was at a loss. I went everyday after work for three years to see her. I guess I missed her so much that not having her at home really bothered me. I needed to continue to be with her so I found time everyday to just go there where she was buried. As a person who has lost a love one, I knew her spirit was not there but it made me feel better to keep the connection going. For the many times I was there I met great people that God put in my path.
---Lupe2618 on 7/21/06

Because we lost someone we loved. Death is always painful. Loss is painful. Losing someone we loved is painful, even losing a pet because we loved them. LOSS is devastating sometimes. Your pain will last as long as you need to cry it out, grieve over it, etc., It took me 3 years to accept my loss, I cried almost every day for that entire time, UNTIL I came to a place of acceptance. Read the book "Hinds Feet on High Places" By Hannah Hurnand. It will comfort you.
---Donna9759 on 7/21/06

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Grieving anyone's death is never wrong. It just means that you loved a lot. The pain will begin to ease daily. Eventually, it will be buried deep in your heart, and only occasionally rise up. "Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning."
---Susie on 7/21/06

There are several stages to grief. We need to go through each of them completely to reach peace. If you are concerned about your level of grieving, therapy may help you sort out why you are struggling and help you find healing in Jesus.
---Madison1101 on 7/21/06

Dear soul, your marriage might have ended in divorce, but does this mean your love for him stopped?

Of course not.

Don't condemn yourself. Take as much time as you need to work through your grief, and know that God understands.
---Jack on 7/21/06

Ilga -- Never give up because there is hope. Your healing may be just around the corner, so don't give up believing and trusting in Jesus.
---Helen_5378 on 7/21/06

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