i personally dont think there is anything wrong with you being attracted to a 36 yr old man or he to you, one reason is because i am 20 and i am like dating a 35 yr old man you cant help who you fall for (with reguards to the person being above the legal age limit) thats the bottom line |
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---jess on 4/7/08 |
Nothing wrong, you just probably prefer a mature man that will treat a women with respect. It takes a while for a man to mature and become a man, instead of trying to "the man" |
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---Bruce_Slimmer on 2/21/08 |
I am a 51 year old man who has a 30 year old girlfriend. I know the worries, and after this Christmas with her parents (my age), NO ISSUE.
Love and Be loved, and all will be fine :-) |
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---John on 1/22/08 |
It's beautiful. I'd say go for it, Brenda. If you're a Christian, you must FIRST seek the LORD about it. And, make sure that the man is ALSO a Christian. For, the LORD says not to be unequally yoked. You're passed 18 AND 21, you're an adult, and so is he. Seek WISE counsel, not those who Satan uses to tear you down by his own pure hatred. |
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---Gordon on 1/4/08 |
Hi there, I am a nice-looking 57 year old guy who wants a family. I could only have one with a younger woman. Doesn't seem fair but I don't think there is anything wrong with either of you. |
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---charlie on 1/3/08 |
A man always looks taller when he's standing on his wallet. |
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---BillyGoat on 7/10/07 |
How are his finances? And yours for that matter? I was 23 when I married a much older man.I overlooked the fiances when I married him. We are still together. He is the greatest. Just celebrated another wedding anniversary in June. |
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---Robyn on 7/10/07 |
"When I finally got married, my wife was 15 years younger than I. Now divorced, I find myself attracted to both younger and older women.", well, we can see you're ready to jump back into the pool of love. Hope the second marriage lasts longer. |
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---Martin on 7/10/07 |
I really don't think age should be any hindrance to male-female relationships. When I finally got married, my wife was 15 years younger than I. Now divorced, I find myself attracted to both younger and older women. Age is a postulate dictated by man who invented it to explain the passage of time.
-- Regards, Kevin |
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---Kevin on 7/10/07 |
Yes there is something wrong with that picture, a child should stay in a childs place and let this man take care of his two kids and not add a third one to the bunch. Young girls like you make it hard for older women to get a honest man and show them true love. What they see in a young girl is only lust. |
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---Jane on 6/28/07 |
A. As men get much older, they tend to become more rigid, they cannot move thier bodies like a younger person. Some have to use some kind of pill to perform sexually, which I imagine could lead to a heart attack depending on his age and heart condition.
There bodies will sag and have alot more wrinkles as the days pass by, but the young woman will still be youthful and firm..... |
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---Chris on 3/7/07 |
B. She may miss out on alot, one day wake up and recognize the enemie stole her youth.
This can be the case with some, not all.
Pray about it, you do not want to waiste your life, time or youth. I gaurantee you one thing when a person hits thier mid thirties, they are able to look at young adults in thier twenties and see just how young and naive they are, mentally, physically and emotionally. There are some who know the mindset of an innocent woman or man and will take advantage of it. |
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---Chris on 3/7/07 |
I was your age when I married my husband almost 30 years ago. I am now a 51 yr old married to a 72 yr old who is getting worse by the day. He is no longer the suave, suit wearing interesting man he was when we married. On the other hand I am not the child-like, adoring(him) fresh faced, innocent girl he married. I am also 80 pounds heavier than I was when we married. In other words, count up the cost of this relationship.
Please pray and pray over this. |
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---robyn on 3/6/07 |
I have to reply several times to this blog. Space is limited in our responses. Nothing wrong with desiring an older man but ask yourself why you want to marry this seasoned man and not someone your own age.You are starting with a lot of possible problems. Are u prepared for this? I did ok but my spouse was very supportive. Will yours be? I have so many questions and so much to share with you about this subject. If you love him and he loves you . Go for it. |
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---robyn on 3/6/07 |
I was 23 when I married my husband who was 44 yrs old. He had been married before with three small kids. Had also lived for 10 years with the kids mother(different woman).Would I marry my spouse all over again? Probably so. He had qualities I value in men . He was loyal, loving, hardworking and so on. Hard to find these days. And straight. A rare commodity, as well, these days. |
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---robyn on 3/6/07 |
As a mother, I would not advise my daughters to marry men who are alot older than them. I believe it would be unfair. The man has lived his life, had children, aged, should be with a woman who is in his age category.
An older man is more likely to become sick, get arthritis, sterile, etc. I believe my daughters should be with someone in their age category. SOmeone they can enjoy thier youth with. |
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---Chris on 3/6/07 |
I am 37 married to man who is 69 we have three children together. It shouldn't matter what the age is all the matters is that you two love each and are willing to pray and go to church with each other and accept God as your savior together |
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---Shirley on 12/18/06 |
Brenda::Ever heard of a young sapling being Grafted on to an old tree.The sapling gets stifled for want of a place to grow,& put down its own roots.Be prepared to live the life of being Trodden upon,if you accept this; as a pilgrimage you may make it, marriage is servitude of both parties working together Pray for Guidance. |
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---Emcee on 12/18/06 |
Brenda, the Bible makes the stipulation not to be unequally yoked. The important things that need to be equal are your committment to Christ, each other, family and others, in that order. If you are equal on those points any other differences can be worked out. But do not compromise on those points.God Bless. |
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---faye4464 on 12/18/06 |
i am in love with and due to be married to a man who is 59 years old. i am only 25 but i feel that age has nothing to do with love.he has children both older and younger than me and they do not have a problem with us being together as they can see that we love each other to bits. if you truly know in your heart and mind that you love each other then go for it.good luck |
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---mhairi on 12/16/06 |
Pray together with your potential partner and ask God to show you both His will. Nothing else matters, not age gap, not children nor the opinions of others. Just focus on God's will for you. |
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---Benny on 8/5/06 |
Brenda,
I am certain that you have NO idea what you may be getting yourself into. First, it is very difficult to love someone else's children. You are 23 for Heaven's sake! Blended families are a HUGE challenge. I agree with the previous blogger who said think loooooooooong and haaaaaaaaaaaard about this one. Then, think about it some more. Pray about it, read about blended families and then think about it some more. In fact, fast and pray some more too. |
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---Crystal on 7/31/06 |
Brenda, no there is nothing wrong with you, or him. |
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---bethie on 7/29/06 |
There is nothing wrong with you for being attracted to an older man. Age is not the problem here. He is divorced with two children. You refer to yourself as a "girl" and him as a "man." Think about that! |
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---Susie on 7/27/06 |
What will happen about childsitters when you both want space and need to out without each other? have you ever considered all this? well I am a married mother of 5 and just to keep home is hard work enough and this is my own family. never mind you doing it for a stranger. As Explained your SUCH A YOUNG GIRL. With so much to learn but not yet ready to give believe you me when I say this, Is it really worth his baggage think loooooooooong and haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard! |
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---Carla5754 on 7/27/06 |
You are barely out of nappies yourself dispite what anyone else tells you, your experience of life is but a few years old, are you ready for being disrespected because you are not the childrens mother, having to do the cooking ,cleaning and general up keep of the home, which takes more than two people at times, The laundry, The bill paying, The late nights up with children that are not yours when ill? |
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---Carla5754 on 7/27/06 |
First of all your question shows age prejudice, your aware of older men going purely for youner women. Again you are aware that some women can be attracted to older men. Okay with all that to answer your issues are also dating a divorcee, plus been involed with a ready made family. Are you following Me? already there are several issues here! never mind the added importance of the bible reason for divorce, have you considered that or does it not matter?. |
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---Carla5754 on 7/27/06 |
Brenda ::I don't want to sound like a wet rag but the saying is "fools rush in where angels dare to tread"Its a choice but he is a divorcee.Think 20 years from now you will still be vibrant & he will be 60.His children will always be his .I would take time out to reconsider such an undertaking there is No turning back once the die is cast. |
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---Emce on 7/26/06 |
I wouldn't advise my sister to get into a mess such as this. Its dirty and can get dirtier. If you are a Christian then go for a clean, low risk, low hassle relationship rather than entangling yourself with a complicated one. Divorce doesn't find God's favour. |
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---aurunoday on 7/26/06 |
In your case there is more than the age factor to consider. You have not been, "around the block" enough to know what you are letting yourself in for. To get married with someone who has two children is far different from just getting married. There are alot of questions that need to be addressed, for example: why did he get divorced? What is his relationship with his ex? How long has he been divorced? And there are more. At least wait 2 more years before making any decision. |
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---wivv on 7/26/06 |
There is nothing wrong for being attracted to an older man. Examine your feelings closely. How could you compliment each other in a relationship? Is he just looking for a replacement for his ex wife? Are you a Christian? Have you prayed about this? Have you asked for advice from family and friends about this? Remember our feelings can be deceiving. God has created us to be attracted to each other. Trusting what pleases the eye could be dangerous. There is much more to your question. |
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---Robert on 7/26/06 |
First, are you both believers and what was reason for his divorce, and does he have custody of kids? |
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---tracy on 7/26/06 |
Brenda,
I'm going to ask you a serious question: are you prepared to be step-mother to two children who are not too much younger than you? |
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---Jack on 7/26/06 |
No there is nothing wrong with your emotions, nor with his. Both are entirely natural. But you should both consider whether these emotions are going to last, and not fade as reality sets in.
How will you cope with his children, and their access to their mother? Will he want more children with you?
There is a chance that marriage would work, but greater possibility that it would not last.
Have you both prayed about it? |
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---alan8869_of_UK on 7/26/06 |
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