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Having An Unwanted Divorce

I am going through an unwanted divorce. We have been married for six years, however my husband has always been drunk. What should I do?

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 ---Chastity on 7/31/06
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If he is hurting you or your children..leave now. If he isn't then pray, pray, and get involved in a healthy, life giving church, good solid believers, and believe God to change him. Do not get onto him..love him..he will notice.
---melanie on 5/12/08


Did you file for the divorce, or did he? Being drunk is not grounds for divorce. Separation would be necessary sometimes when dealing with an active alcoholic.

Get into therapy and get yourself emotionally stable before you make any big decision. Godly counsel from an older Christian woman would be in order too.
---Madison1101 on 5/12/08


Chastity.Paul says,"If the unbelieving husband/wife wishes to stay, we are to stay married". If THEY(the unbelieving want to leave)let them go, as we are called to live in peace.
Too many disappointed Christians, believed God *WILL* save the husband if we were "1st Peter ch 3 wives".
You can't make someone stay in a marriage. "But you can Stay In God's Love"!!!!
---kathr4453 on 8/2/06


Rebecca:
I am surprised that you fail to see the difference in this cases, so I will tell you.

Chastity is IN THE MIDDLE OF ABUSE through an alcoholic hubby, this is first hand information. She saw hubby drunk, and reports it.

You, and the "reporter" of the pastor's wife take HEARSAY and make it as true, not hearing both sides. It is third hand information because neither you nor the "reporter" actually witnessed what the pastor told you is true.
---John_T on 8/2/06


Chastity-If it is you that is deciding to go, why not separate? You clearly do not want a divorce, and he definitely has a problem that needs to be addressed. If I were in that situation I would separate from him, and tell him I love him, but we cannot be together until he sobers up. Then I would devote my time to praying and fasting for his deliverance, salvation and our reconciliation. Don't lose hope. Keep seeking the Lord. His timing is perfect, and his way is best. Wait on the Lord.
---Katie on 8/2/06




Rebecca, none of us know the complete story of these blogs, and we tend to make unfair assumptions at times. Seriously, if you really want to know where we are coming from you need to read the Bible concerning marriage. It lays it all out there for us plain as the nose on my face. Before continuing in this argument, please read 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7. People are not trying to pick on you, they are simply trying to make sure people get sound, biblical advice.
---Katie on 8/2/06


Now what is the difference the advice you have given her but refuse to say the same thing about the Pastor in another blog? His wife doesn't want to be with him, apparently is an unbeliever, because of how she acts, but yet he should stay with her because of the old law. but it is okay for this woman to leave her husband or vice versa, because her husband isn't a believer? What is the difference?
---Rebecca_D on 8/1/06


2) Eventually abuse was just too much, and there was adultery, so I had a basis to divorce, but waited until I felt I had a go ahead from God. Still very sad. Fasting and prayer, Godly counsel and good fellowship may be best. God is able to see you through, seek Him
---christina on 8/1/06


1)Chastity, you say the divorce is unwanted...does that mean he filed for divorce? Jack is correct. Even when divorce is justified, it is grieveous and difficult. I understand your pain having lived for years with an alcoholic/crack addict. I refused to divorce for years, went through numerous seperations, prayed, counseled with pastors, the situation just went downhill.
---christina on 8/1/06


I disagree with that type of harsh answer when the person is saying her divorce is NOT WANTED and is asking for HELP, in case someone has been through the same and can give her some good sound advice Shira, She did not ask if anyone has some harsh comments and wants to party with her :(
---Carla5754 on 8/1/06




Be thankful to God you got rid of him.
---shira on 7/31/06


There is the Pauline privilege, where if the unbelieving spouse is not willing to dwell in marriage with the believer, let him (or her) depart, and the believer is free to enter into a new marriage, only make sure it's with another Christian.
---Jack on 7/31/06


Is he a non-believer that wishes to leave you? If this is the case let him leave. Read I Corinthians 7.
---Ryan on 7/31/06


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