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Christian Wife Wants Separation

Christian wife wanted separation. Now she says she is leaning towards divorce. I'm not perfect, but I am a good provider, I love her very much and we have 2 children. This has been going on for 8 months with no resolution one way or the other. I'm frustrated and sad. Any Advise?

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 ---George on 8/1/06
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I married a foreign woman from the other side of the world. We met on the internet and became pen-pals. Her family did underhanded things and pressed me into marriage my first trip to the Philippines. She said she would never divorce. She said the romance would never end. She began talking divorce before she ever came to the U.S. I wish we had divorced. She has caused the family GREAT LOSS. My advice - let her divorce. Better to have God than to have a spouse.
---Sin on 10/9/14


Strongaxe

Both sins reap hell, however if the people want to commit sin and you encourage them to do so you will follow in their footsteps !
---Carla on 8/5/14


If a divorce is not what you want then you need to pray and fast, and pray and fast and pray and fast... you can only defeat the devil on your knees and before the I AM !
---Carla on 8/1/14


If it was the courts that married you both then you need to go to the courts for a divorce.

However, if it was a minister of the church of The IAM, then you go to the bible for advice.


Mankind and its government cannot do a thing except, kill, destroy and confuse. If your wife takes another man, you the man of God as long as you have a clean heart before The almighty, based on scriptures are permitted to grant her the divorce and remarry.
---Carla on 7/30/14


God yes! You probably right,I can't say everyone is like that but,my grand father had very much he had to be more close to his family than his wife my grandmother she got tough,went to the Pastor he changed quite a bit he was from Nigeria.He loved her,but yes,I believe some are very close to family first.I went to school alot of Nigerians and other Afrikan people.Cubans too,the men they more close to their moms and family than sometimes the wife.Most descended from the yuroba people.
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 5/19/14




husband I r married 5.5 years. Never lived together. His Brother is actual wife. He lives with him free if he cannot pay rent. I live south ca. he has not been able to move due to insisting on his immigration limitations. That is over. so now excuse is that he can't find a job in south ca. He lives 10 hours away in south bay. I'm filing legal separation, he visits 4 48 hours every other weekend. I feel nigerian culture and dependence on brother affects his ability to make me 1st. His brother treats me like I don't exist.there is emotional abandonment. I am preceding with legal separation and he is not stopping me from doing it. We need a christian counselor to prevent a divorce that can see us on saturday. Does anyone know one in orange county?
---Ann on 5/16/14


//Since murderers are no longer executed, this creates a situation that was not envisioned in Biblical times.
---StrongAxe on 11/7/11
And thus the church would have to be the authority in these matters as the state has already decreed murderers and other retrobates are not dealt with by Biblical laws.
---lee1538 on 11/7/11


lee1538:

Presumably, murder is a more heinous crime than adultery. If a spouse committed murder, he or she would be executed, by both Jewish and Roman law, so such an exception for divorce would never be needed, as the innocent spouse would now be a widow/widower.

Since murderers are no longer executed, this creates a situation that was not envisioned in Biblical times.
---StrongAxe on 11/7/11


Diane_Gilland//This is a sad situation but according to the Bible.grounds for divorce are adultery. or if a saved and unsaved are married the unsaved wants to leave let them you are not under bondage.
---
Due to some of the situations I have observed over the years, I am beggining to wonder if the Bible has really given us an exhaustive list of cases one can be granted a divorce. I may wish to think that the church has been given some authority in this matter to decide individual cases.

What does a woman with children do with a husband sentenced to several life terms in prison for serial murders?
---lee1538 on 11/6/11


This is a sad situation but according to the Bible.grounds for divorce are adultery. or if a saved and unsaved are married the unsaved wants to leave let them you are not under bondage.other than that work on it with God and prayer and counseling
---Diane_Gilland on 11/6/11




The FAMILY that PRAYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER.
---Eloy on 11/6/11


One of my former sunday school teachers whose wife lived in another part of the country due to employment, decided she wanted a divorce. He frought against it on the grounds of scripture believing that divorce between Christians was not permitted. However when they went to court, the judge granted her the divorce. He was messed up for months later.

I believe he later re-married.
---lee1538 on 11/5/11


I to am in a similar situation. My wife is in leadership at her church. It is sad that even pastors support separating the marriage without both sides. I am in love with my wife. Sad thing though is the more I tell her and try to show her the more hate and anger she reveals. This is a storm to which I give thanks to the Lord. He is taking me to a new level in trust. Stand firm men and claim your spiritual headship. This is a spiritual battle make no bones about it. The Word says what you bind on earth you bind in Heaven, what you loose on earth you loose in Heaven. God Bless
---John on 11/5/11


My wife of 33 years left me. She received very poor advice from a "phone" counselor of a Christian organization charging her $95 per hour, plus the cost of the long distance call. The counselor had no conference with our kids, with me and only with my wife. Her counselor's advice has discouraged reconciliation. I am seeking to have both of us meet with an experienced Christian counselor and psychotherapist in which we can meet face to face and also have our adult children attend if they wish. The phone counselor has drawn conclusions with insufficient information. It is very dangerous for these counselors to give advice over the phone without getting a full picture. Also, Christian organizations should not be charging such rates..
---DG on 9/14/11


I searched google for Christian wife wants a divorce. This is the first result I clicked on. My wife wants out after 12 years of marriage. I have messed up alot with lying. God has shown me the depths of my lies - which I didnt fully realize - going back to childhood.

She doesnt feel like she will ever trust me again. I just want one more chance.

I have mad God number 1 for again in my life. This time I am determined to make it stick. I have a Christian counsellor, an accountability partner, friends and family that I email or call every couple days and hundreds of people praying for me too. It is hard. I am making God my number 1.
---dug on 8/1/11


Yes Iam in the same place as you.but it is only four months with me. I tryed all the mean that I could come up with but all I did was push her away. I had come to a place to where I had to stop talking to her. I read in afew site that iot is good not talk for three month to six months.
It is to let them gref. I put my trust in the lord that this will work. I know how you are frustrated and it hurts so bad but trust. good luck. and remenber that she is now a diffrent woman.
---john on 11/30/10


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My advice to any Christians facing marriage difficulties is to keep away from marriage counsellors as they are very destructive.

God even tells us in his word, the help of man is useless. God is our counsellor and you can get no better counsel than what He offers us in His word.
---Haz27 on 10/24/10


As a Christian, married woman, I find many of these responses saddening. I believe that God ordained marriage and it should be preserved. I understand that what happens in a marriage is complicated. We can look from the outside and stone the wife for wanting to leave, but that is not helpful. My husband and I are currently in marriage counseling learning to each take responsibility for the state of our marriage. When we argue about our problems, we look at how we contributed the problems. I am not saying that the husband is to blame. Yes a wife should submit to her husband, but the head of the household, the husband, has a greater responsibility to make sure he leads by loving his wife as Christ loves the church. I will pray for you tonight.
---Chanel on 10/23/10


if your wife wants to leave there is nothing you can do to prevent her from leaving. I am afraid that disobedience amongst Christians runs rapidly. i know pagan wives whose husbands are in the military who stay with their husbands even though there husbands don't take them on dates, buy them flowers or cuddle with them because they are at war. The problem is that you have a car nal wife who doesn't have a clue as to what the Scriptures teach. Pathetic really. I have been married for 21yrs and my wife can't stand the fact that I'm not home three days out of the week but never has she threaten me with I want a seperation becauses of blah, blah, blah. She has deeper issues. Let her go and be at peace
---mark on 10/15/10


i can only say get all the spiritual you can. Friends to pray and push your self as a sacrafice to god. get godly wisdom and not passive wisdom. find a brother that will hold you accountabe and that will give you godly wisdom.
---constantine on 12/12/09


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In no way are we to separate under the conditions that you are saying. Is you husband a Christian? That does make the world of a different. My husband and I were headed down that long dark road, BEFORE Christ. He didn't jump on board with me. 1 Peter 3:1-2 - "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." It may take a couple years of praying and for your actions to SHOW HIM that YOU ARE committed. Colossians 3:23 "WHATEVER you do, work at it with ALL your heart, AS working FOR THE LORD, not for human masters."
---Tina on 12/12/09


Us men need to be taught what the Spirit has shown us in Eph 5.

In the passage (and others), women are supposed to honor their husbands and the men are to love their wives.

Men want respect from their wives. Women want love from their husbands.

If you are a man and are not loving your wife by giving all that you have/are to her, you are in disobedience to the Word of God.

Let me show you what I mean. Calculate the time do you spend away from her on TV, sports, boys night out, mens clubs, etc. Now calculate the time spent talking with her, cuddling with her, being with her like when you dated her.

The scale must tilt toward loving her or you are in error.
---Mark_Eaton on 12/12/09


I'm not sure if this still applys. I'm a christian wife and I want a separtion. My husband is like you. He's a good provider, however it takes more than just being a provider. A woman need to feel wanted and loved. When the connection is lost, it is difficult to get back. Men can provide for his family, but lack in the area of providing the small things. Dates, dinners alone, romantic evenings, or just because moments. Women are like flowers, if they are not watered the leaves begin to dry up and fall of. It will take a lot more water to get it back to it normal state then it would have been if you would have wanted her more than just once. Stop being comfortable, spontaneous is the key.
---Gloria on 12/11/09


In the town of Hollister Ca. There was a group of believers, maybe about 200 of them, Policeman, Fireman etc. I was called to give my testimony in front of them with my wife next to me. As I began the story, and let me say, I didn't keep anything out, about five minutes into my story, I could see many crying. I didn't understand why. I later found out many were having problems that no one knew. Man ask for forgiveness from their wives, and tears came to many, some teens cried with their parents. All of them made new commitments to each other. I didn't know why God called us there but now I know. I've seen many Christians having problems. Sometimes we need an awakening.
---MarkV. on 4/29/09

Amen, Praise God
---YLBD on 4/29/09


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Alan, thank's. Actually my testimony allowed me to witness to many couples. In the town of Hollister Ca. There was a group of believers, maybe about 200 of them, Policeman, Fireman etc. I was called to give my testimony in front of them with my wife next to me. As I began the story, and let me say, I didn't keep anything out, about five minutes into my story, I could see many crying. I didn't understand why. I later found out many were having problems that no one knew. Man ask for forgiveness from their wives, and tears came to many, some teens cried with their parents. All of them made new commitments to each other. I didn't know why God called us there but now I know. I've seen many Christians having problems. Sometimes we need an awakening.
---MarkV. on 4/29/09


Mark ... I've just seen your story.

It was brave of you to share it with us.

I'm so pleased about theeventual happy outcome
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/28/09


Mic, I'm surprise you answered, thanks for thinking about me. I was married with four kids. My youngest 18 when she left. Since I am a believer in predestination I believe God permitted this to happen to us. It was all in the plan of God for my life and hers and my children. It's just too bad it had to come to that. My point to George was almost the same as yours. We only see the wrongs in others and don't see the wrongs in us. God had to change me and give me a new heart. While at the same time He was working in my wife's life. It was over a year when God brought her home. I promised myself never to speak of that time ever again. Also that I would never hurt her again. I found out what true love was from 1 Cor. 13. To never seek my own.
---MarkV. on 4/28/09


Mark :- I am truly sorry for your plight Did you have any children do they keep in touch with you.How many years has it been since the separation.Maybe this was one of the reasons you left The RCC.I pray you find peace and solace,in the twilight years of your life. Blessings.<:-(
---MIC on 4/28/09


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George, your story is like my story. At the beginning when my wife left me after 25 years of marriage, I would go around telling everyone what had happened to me. In more ways then one I wanted others to feel sorry for me and in some way kind of blame her when I told my story. I kept saying I was a good person, never hit her, always provided for her, in other words she had no reason to leave, so she was to blame. Her and I were not in Christ. What I fail to realize was that I had failed as a husband, father and friend, and my marriage was going no where and I had fail to see that. I had forgotten all the little things I did against her. They were not too important to me so I didn't remember them. But let me tell you she never forgot them,
---MarkV. on 4/27/09


George 2: after three months of her gone I begged her to come back. She then told me of all the things I had done, things I didn't remember. The more I begged the farther she got.
Through this time my neighbors were preaching the gospel to me almost everyday. One day I got on my knees and begged Christ to help me. That I needed Him in my life and that I had squandered what He had given me. I cried and asked for forgiveness. Let me say that when something is broken, like a marriage, it does not get fix in a month and many times even a year. God changed my life George and gave me a new heart. A heart that finally realized what true love was. I turned everything over to God and ask God to guide me in my life.
---MarkV. on 4/27/09


Seek the face of God in prayer. If you examine your conscience and have nothing against your wife - eg unforgiveness, and your wife has nothing to complain about you - eg lusting after other women etc. then you just have to accept her decision to reject good and to be independent, breaking up what could have been a happy family. After time passes, you have every right to remarry if you are completely innocent. Just let the situation go ahead under God's guidance. Maybe if she is an unbeliever she is better out of your life. Everything happens for a reason. Pray for her...it sounds like she needs prayer urgently. This can work wonders.
---frances008 on 4/26/09


George:-"I am not perfect.I am a good provider.I love her very much.We have 2 children"What struck me as odd was the order in which you placed your priorities.Look at it from a woman's perspective.Do you detect anything?.Maybe if you reverse the order, Put the love first,to HER then the kids,delete the Provide(your duty) and work on the Not perfect, You may have a reconcilliation on your hands .Play out your love FIRST.we get complacent in Marriage but women don't.It is of the utmost importance.Pray and ask The help of The lord, to help you make your peace with her and find out the real reason what is bugging her.Peace be with you both as you discover the love in your relationship.How to remove the fence.
---MIC on 4/26/09


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Hello George, I sympathize with you greatly. My wife left me after 6 years and took our 13 mo old son. These last mos have been utter hell with all the irrational behavior, lawyers, and trauma, I surrounded myself with Christian therapists, lawyers, and pastors. Here is my conclusion: Do all that you can to draw near to Jesus as your priority. Have a trusted support team/friends for prayer. Stay constant fellowship. Work with a therapist. Be in contact with a pastor. Give your wife to the Lord, if His creation is broke...he can fix it-it's out of your hands until she decides to work with you. Retain a spirit filled lawyer who will help you protect your paternal rights. You cannot be replaced in your children's lives...Your children need you!
---Rodney on 4/26/09


Tell your wife that she is in SIN! If you have been faithful, she's in sin, yes she is. And if she is truly saved, which I do doubt, there will never, ever, be any peace on this earth for her. You go on with your life. God bless!+++
---catherine on 4/21/09


Go to Christian, Biblical counselor who will dig through issues of unforgiveness due to sometimes much earlier times of pain in our lives.When loved ones touch the slightest memory of the old pain,the pain becomes very "now",very similar.A good biblical counselor can help you reach down into your heart, find out who, what, when, and help you choose to forgive these people, pay their debt that they owe you, just as Christ only could pay for Ours..She is in much pain and has let the enemy gain bigger footholds with her bitterness and disobedience.Don't give up. Our King can change the hardest of hearts. He will always pick up the failures, but can't use the quitters!!
IN His grace and His grip, Sheila
---sheila on 4/21/09


George, stand up to your wife. She didn't leave for a non-reason, face whatever is keeping you from being a real man in this situation. She wants your strength, not your hurt, anger, or control. She has to stay where she feels safe and able to protect herself and children emotionally. You can prove to her that you are a new man. II Cor 5:17-19. If you didn't do anything wrong, then obviously your going to have to stand up for your rights, but if you did do something then find out what it is going to take for you to be the man she believed you were. You can do it, but it will take a long time. Did I say a long time? You're a man and you can do it. LT
---LT on 11/25/08


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I am also a Christian woman seeking a legal separation from my backslidden Christian husband. I have no desire for divorce, but my husband is abusive in every sense of the word and admitted to putting his hands on another woman, but then retracted that statement a few days later. I have had our Pastor and Assistant Pastor convince him to agree to counseling only to refuse days later. My Pastor is kind of lax in dealing with my husband, but my Assistant Pastor has advised me that the time has come for a decision to be made. My hope is that this separation will be enough to "scare" him into seeking to renew his relationship with the Lord, attending church on a regular basis, and get counseling for his anger issues.
---Rosemary on 11/5/08


Let your request for healing in your marriage known to God and let him do the rest. Keep your eyes off of the circumstances for they will cause you to faint. Stay focused on the fact that God hates divorce and if there is anyway possible for your marriage to survive, God already has the solution. Your part is to meditate on scriptures concerning marriage and get your thoughts lined up with God's thoughts and then stand on your faith. God will do the rest. All He need is your faith!
---Delora on 10/3/07


Get on your knees and not only pray but seek God out. Ask him to change you to become the man you were made to be, and ask that your wife will take notice, and have a change of heart too. You may not be able to change her mind with words, but a noticeable change in you might. Don't lose hope! Even couples who have been divorced have reconciled. God can move mountains, and will for those who seek him.
---Katie on 10/1/07


1 Corinthians 7:5 5 "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

Sepration may help I was against a seperation with my wife she then favored divorce and divorced me. Separation is not permanent and I regret no giving her that.
---Dan on 3/17/07


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I have left my own husband and we have two children. We are separated. I suggest you talk with your wife. Have you prayed? Read your word and become intimate with Jesus Christ as He loves you and your wife. Our mates are the answer to our new character in Christ. We walk in that character as we surrender to Christ. It is not an easy walk as I myself am walking this way... God has told me to stand still and see my salvation and know that I am God. You are in my prayers.
---Airica on 10/26/06


Thank you for your advice. I will carefully consider all of my actions regarding our situation. We've had 14 years of marriage with 31 years as best friends. I've not been the perfect husband and will be the first to admit that. She's turned to the worldly ways because I have not supported her spiritually or emotionally. I will continue to change myself and continue to pray for her return to her faith. It is in God's hands. Thank you again for all of your thoughts and prayers. God Bless you all!
---George on 8/7/06


George, I agree with the posts that suggest you get a lawyer for yourself. While I don't believe in divorce, should your wife file, I believe it to be your duty to let her go. However, if the one book recommended for you to read might help and you could try that first.
---Phil on 8/4/06


I also agree that he should seek legal counsel, and do what is necessary to gain access to his children. And Ralph, you are assuming much about his wife with very little to go on. He's intimated she is a believer, so you implying there's adultery on her part (especially not knowing the full situation) is doing what Satan does, accusing believers. I appreciate you suffered and were sinned against... but you must step back a bit brother, or your counsel will be of no help.
---daphn8897 on 8/4/06


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Ralph, My intention was not to "blame" George. However, if he wants to reconcile and do so Biblically - he is responsible to own whatever part of this is his. Is his wife blameless - most probably not. But, again, if he focuses on her failings, there will never be foundation for healing and reconciliation. He is the head - so, ultimately, he is responsible to take Godly, not culturally or emotionally motivated, steps.
---daphn8897 on 8/4/06


George: The GREAT thing about this is that you are in counseling for yourself. You need it since you are being hammered from afar.

Two pieces of advice:
1) Get an 800 phone #, and have the children memorize it next time you see them.

She seems to be triangulating you via the kids, so beware of that trap, and do NOT fall into it. That brings up #2.

2) GET AND RETAIN AN ATTORNEY IN THAT STATE.
You are in a war not of your own making, and you need to fight for the children
---John_T on 8/4/06


George, in conclusion, my advice to you is that you need to find some strength. You need to realize that your wife is in the wrong and that your kids need you and they need to see you pursuing what is right. You can't control your wife's actions and experience dictates that whatever you do to try to please her will be in vain. Ask God what is right here. The answer may be to pray and trust, or take action. Listen to God, NOT the words of your wife that undoubtedly linger in your mind.
---ralph7477 on 8/3/06


George, she is taking advantage of the fact that your ability to travel is limited. There is a chance that she is involved with somebody else which is why she doesn't want you to contact the children. She may also know that in most states you can't get a court to grant visitation or make any custodial ruling unless you first file for divorce, which she knows you don't want to do. Obviously your wife has deemed you unnecessary to your children, except perhaps for money support. Cont...
---ralph7477 on 8/3/06


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George I have been exactly where you are so here is how I see it. Your wife is not somebody in need of understanding and patience. She is only thinking of herself and what she wants at this time. To live in another state and not allow you to have contact with your children is reprehensible. I understand that you feel inadequate and you do not want to upset things anymore but I tell you this my friend, she has you right where she wants you. She knows exactly what she is doing. Cont...
---ralph7477 on 8/3/06


I have read the responses to George's situation day after day and it has been enough to drive me insane. The theme of the responses is that he is to blame for this situation. His wife leaves him, takes his children and then tells him not to have any contact with them or her, yet she needs understanding. George's wife has obviously beaten him down to the point where he considers himself a failure and he will do anything to try to appease her and restore his family. Continued...
---ralph7477 on 8/3/06


George, If you are sincere, there are some steps you could take to win her back. The process will probably be difficult and very humbling for you. There is a book by Ken Sande, "The Peacemaker". There are chapters that deal with similar situations to yours. If you mean business, you'll do the work. Praying for you.
---daphn8897 on 8/3/06


3. Her leaving was a cry for help, hopefully she will seek professional counseling before she makes any permanent decisions.
Draw cloe to the Lord, He will give you the strength to make it through this very painful time.
I'm praying for your family, and marriage.
---lynet on 8/2/06


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2. The exception would be child abuse. Your children should know you love them, and want to be a part of their lives.
One other important factor, whatever your wife is dealing with is personal. Her pain and possible anger may cause her to be what you consider unreasonable, when she may be doing the very best she can in a difficult situation. You can't take back what has already been done. What she faces now is a combination of the beginnig, middle and now.
---lynet on 8/2/06


George,
It appears you are doing all you can at this point. I suggest you contact a lawyer for the sake of your relationship with your children. Arrangements MUST be made with the cusstodial parent to accomodaate the psrent who is not in the same state/city/or side of town as their family, but wishes to maintain the realtionship with the children. Especially so if the children feel the same.
It's the law.
---lynet on 8/2/06


Is there anything preventing you from getting shared custody of your children and/or visitation so you can see your children? I would get a lawyer and pursue that. Also, a lawyer would help you arrange child support payments as she is going to demand that of you at some point anyway.

Like it or not, you need to seek legal advice. You and your children have a right to see each other.
---Madison1101 on 8/2/06


Pray George: w/o ceasing. Cling to the word Because HE lives you can face tomorrow. Jer. 29:11-14, Ro. 8:28, Pvb. 3:5,6. Pray for both your hearts. You CAN do all things thru Christ. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Send cards of love. Trust HIM. Num. 6:24-26 dear brother. You ARE forgiven!
---Annie on 8/2/06


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Daphne:I thought I did indicate what I believe I did wrong.I'm certainly NOT perfect.I showed jealousy & I didn't go to church w/ her for a long time.I've realized my mistakes & I own up to them.Matter-of-fact, I probably take most of the blame myself.I feel like I have failed as head of the household.I just want to make it up to her & reunite my family.I'm sorry if it seemed like I was making her out the "bad guy".Not my intention.I'm just repeating what she has said to me.
---George on 8/2/06


**She has asked me to NOT contact her or the children that that just pressures her. **

Barring child abuse, you have a legal and moral right to visit your children, even if she doesn't want to see you. You might have to contact a lawyer.

BTW, if it's as you say, YOU have grounds for divorce as she abandoned you.
---Jack on 8/2/06


George, You still haven't indicated what you think you may have done to offend/hurt her to the point she needs her space/separation. I sense we aren't getting the whole story here - and that you're making her out to be the "bad guy". I really don't see you owning any of this. Biblically, as the head of your home, you are ultimately responsible for your family dynamic. Be honest with yourself, and then with her.
---daphn8897 on 8/2/06


"I need my space," is & always has been nothing but an excuse. Sometimes, it is appropriate to be jealous. Even the Lord says, "I am a jealous God." He doesn't want anyone else to take His place in our hearts and/or lives. Maybe your jealously was not misplaced. I don't know, but what I do know is that it takes TWO people to make a marriage work. If she refuses counseling or even talking with you, I'm not sure there's much hope. I'm sorry, George. I will keep you in my prayers.
---Crystal on 8/2/06


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EJ and Ginni: I cannot go to church with her and spend time with my family as they now live in another state. She has asked me to NOT contact her or the children that that just pressures her. If I do anyway, I feel I am pushing her away. If I don't, I am afraid that they will think I do not care. I love her so very much and just want my family back. I would do ANYTHING for that. Will that possibly include waiting forever?
---George on 8/2/06


Besides providing financially, woman needs to be reminded that you miss her, care for her, love her and all these words/acts from your heart has to come in frequently either through email, phone or etc.. especially when you are not by her side physically always.
---Ginni on 8/2/06


??Disobeyment?? there is a village out there that is misssing their idiot.
Let me correct myself: disobedience.
---Ryan on 8/2/06


George my heart goes out to you brother.

Madison1101-If they have read I Corinthians 7 and disobeyed than that is between them and God. They will answer for their disobeyment to Him.
---Ryan on 8/2/06


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It sounds as if you are doing all you can do at this time. When my ex decided to leave, I was left at the end of my rope. A dear friend gave me a verse, Jeremiah 29:11. I also held onto Romans 8:38-39. I did therapy and I prayed. There is nothing more to do but strengthen your faith.

I will pray for you.
---Madison1101 on 8/1/06


Is she bipolar? Maybe she just isn't happy with her something about her past or with herself now. Even Christians can be unhappy. Go to church together treat her like you were dating and spend lots of time with your family and pray alot. Keep us posted.
---EJ on 8/1/06


We have been married 14 years. My Wife gives 2 reasons for the separation. #1) she needs space. #2) I have shown jealousy in the past. She refuses marital counseling. I am in counseling on my own. I have apolgized & changed my ways. I have prayed non-stop. She will not talk to me via phone now and has asked me to not even contact our children. I'm in the military and cannot go to them right now.
---George on 8/1/06


You need to get yourself into therapy, with or without her. You don't say why she wants to leave you. Things do not happen in a void.

Ryan, there are true Christians who have read 1 Corinthians who still divorce.
---Madison1101 on 8/1/06


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If she is truly a Christian than she wil be convicted of the Holy Spirit when she reads I Corinthians 7. Her focus needs to shift to the Spirit. Love is giving. I refuse to believe this is one sided. Both of you need to shift your focus. You need to apologize to her for whatever it is you have done.
---Ryan on 8/1/06


Christian marriage counseling
---ralph on 8/1/06


George, we're not professional counsellors, so I say either Go directly to Father God and state your case, your heart, to Father God. Then I'd go to counselling if I were you, either alone or with her. Why is she leaving you? How long have you been married? What is the history between you two? See how deep the counsellor must dig in order to give you sound advice.
---Donna9759 on 8/1/06


George,

You fail to say why your wife wanted a separation. I'm sure she didn't just leave with no explanation at all. My guess is that she tried to get your attention BEFORE the seperation, and you (being the good provider and all) didn't get it and thought you were doing enough. Maybe she is dying inside because there is no "one-ness," which is every woman's desire. Just a guess without more details...
---Crystal on 8/1/06


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P.S. Be patient. Life doesn't always go the way we plan, and our time table is not always according to God's. It could take days, it could take years, but remain steadfast in God's promises and seek him continually.
---Katie on 8/1/06


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