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Looking The Same As Lusting

my boyfriend who is a christian thinks talking about and looking at other woman is ok. His unsaved, married,boss and him will comment on how hot other woman are and talk about their bodies. My boyfriend does not think anything is wrong with that kind of behavior. Is there scripture to back that up

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 ---Tracey on 8/4/06
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Is he acting on those acts? I have heard guys and girls doing things like that,but not acting on it.That is natural though.I have a boyfriend,and don't care to look at other guys.He told me that got so used to and he tries not to look at other girls.But he can't help it.But he tells me that he may see other pretty or hot girls.But i am the one he wants and loves.And he says it only takes him about a second or two and he is picturing me in those skimpy clothes(if that is what they had on).
---angea on 4/21/07


Tracey, DO NOT tolerate this kind of behavior from your boyfriend. You deserve respect and he is not respecting you by making comments about other women in front of you. My ex used to do that - he would say he wanted to "f" other women, and he claimed to be a Christian!
---Michelle on 8/29/06


i refer everyone to rev herbs scripture reference in matt 5 at bottom of page. case closed
---r.w. on 8/12/06


If it hurts you then you should ask him to not comment to it. Boys are probably going to be attracted to other girls regardless, but its sort of rude to talk about it like that and comment about it in front of their girlfriend. I would not stand for that. Some girls don't really mind but obviously you do. I think this is more of a personal thing then a religous thing. If it bugs you talk to him about it. If he doesn't stop he obviously dones't care enough too. But reamber your the one he choose.
---private on 8/8/06


Unequally yoked -- means between a believer and an unbeliever. Jesus bought all the "bad fruit" in the market. As a matter of fact, all the fruit at that market was rotten to the core.

As it is written, "There is no one righteous; no, not one. ..." (Romans 3:10)
---Benny on 8/8/06




yes there is the scripture of not being unequally yoked. John, he is a boyfreind, she has the option of not marrying him.SHE SHOULD NOT - if you see bad fruit at the market do you buy it????
---becky on 8/6/06


If my boyfriend was doing that,i would talk to him about that and if he didn't stop it.I would tell him that we would have to break up then.I wouldn't put up with that.Pray about that and if he is the one the Lords wants you to have.You could ask him if he really loves to stop it,and ask him if he wants you to do the same with guys.If he says no to the other guys,then say that is how you feel about what he is doing.Or tell him if he loves you enough he would stop doing that.
---angea on 8/5/06


I didn't mean that he was picturing me in skimpy clothes in that way.I mean't if there was another woman wearing those types of clothes,he might make the comment that i would look just as good in that after we are married.He has never wanted me to wear nothing skimpy.In fact,he is always saying that i am the prettiest girl he has ever met.Even when i do ask him if he sure that i am the one he wants to be with.And he always says yes.He is a nice christian guy.And isn't like this girls boyfriend.
---angea on 8/5/06


I don't chop my apple tree down just becasue there are a few bad apples on it. You don't have to throw the whole person away as useless just because of some comments or behavior. None of us would last in God's sight if He treated us like that.
---john on 8/5/06


Some scriptures that would back that we are to have decent conversation and bridle tongue are:(1 Peter 1:15), ( 2 Peter 3:11) (James 1:26) anybody can say they are a Christian, but it's the FRUITS(Matt 7:16), that Jesus said you would know them by.
---Mrs._Morgan on 8/5/06




Looking at the opposite sex will inevitably somewhere down the road, if not sooner, lead to it going beyond just a look. Jesus says that to look at a woman with lust is the same as adultery. What do you want a boyfriend like that for?? Don't you think that you are worth more than that?
---Helen_5378 on 8/5/06


my question to you would be why is he still your boyfriend?
---becky on 8/4/06


My ex husband would make comments on other women and how and what he would like to do to them and with them. No it isn't okay, it hurts and it shows no love in the marriage. My husband now, says other women are pretty but leaves it at that, that don't bother me. I say some men are good looking and I too leave it at that. But your boyfriend like my ex is taking things a bit to far, and just don't care how we feel. If he is understanding, tell him how you feel. If that don't work, leave him.
---Rebecca_D on 8/4/06


Oops. I meant Matthew 5:27-28, not Chapter 6. Thanks Herb!
---Katie on 8/4/06


Well his boss is committting adultry in his heart, I feel bad for his wife. As far as your boyfriend you may not have the covenant of marriage but his actions show a focus on the flesh. If he is truly a child of God he would not be looking at women in this way. Galations 5:19 sums it up nicely:
Gal 5:19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,...
Sensuality, which your boyfriend is practicing, is a deed of the flesh.
---Ryan on 8/4/06


2.)Also in regard to MARRIED FOLK, many people don't realize how well God knows our HEART. We are human, and there are many attractive folks out there(beauty is in the eye of the beholder) but we are not suppose to be LOOKING for them, a casual comment that someone is attractive doesn't mean ADULTRY OF THE HEART, but we must be considerate of our mates feelings.
---Mrs._Morgan on 8/4/06


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1.)First of all you said BOYFRIEND, so he has the right to consider other candidates . But in regards to MARRIED folk People must understand that God knows THE HEART, when Jesus said that when a man looks on a woman it is ADULTRY OF THE "HEART", in other words if a married person is lusting , & it's in their "HEART" to sleep with that person(meaning if they had the chance they would).
---Mrs._Morgan on 8/4/06


A true unmarried Christian would not try to picture someone of the opposite sex in skimpy clothing. It is not OK for your boyfriend to think of you in that way either. If things are getting out of control and you are not getting married soon, you should probably spend less time alone together. That is what concerns me about your blog - that he is thinking of you lustfully. That is going to make it difficult to wait for marriage. Be careful!
---melissa on 8/4/06


Matt. 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
---Rev_Herb on 8/4/06


There's a scripture to back YOU up. Matthew 6:27-28, NIV "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already commited adultery with her in his heart." Bring this scripture to his attention (gracefully), and pray that he will understand and repent. God bless!
---Katie on 8/4/06


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Seeing as you are not married there is no covenant yet. There is no way of telling if he is just looking to admire or looking to lust. Lust, of course, is a sin. We can lust after many things but frequently with men it's women. You can do a study yourself about the lust topic. Show him and maybe it will help. If not, you may have to overcome the feelings or leave him.
---john on 8/4/06


I see guys come in where i work,and some may be cute or if i see a cute actor on tv.But that is as for as that goes.And for anyone like my boyfriend or me,i think that is ok.As long as you are not lusting after them,flirting,or intending to cheat on the other person.But if you are looking at them with that intention,then yes it is wrong.And the Bible says it is,if you do it with that intention.
---angea on 8/4/06




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