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Divorce A Non-Christian Spouse

Non-believing spouse left me 15 months ago.He refused any counseling or working on our marriage in any way.Now he doesn't have a place 2 live & wants to come home whereas I'm ready 2 file 4 divorce.As a Christian spouse, must I ask him back into the home?Nothing has changed & I don't want him back.

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 ---Debbie on 8/6/06
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15 months is plenty of time for you to know whether you would ever want him back or not. If he only wants to come back for a 'place to stay' he doesn't really want you either. Give him the 'phone numbers/addresses of a few housing agencies and send him on his way. He sounds like a user. He is the one who left you remember.
---M.P. on 12/15/07


The Bible says, What fellowship hath light with darkness, besides, Be not un-equally yoked with an unbeleiver, but also there is James 4:4
---Cynthia_1 on 3/8/07


Forgive him, even bless your enemies, but don't give place to the enemy. That is probably what he represents to you now, Sounds like a user. Does'nt any body else want him? tell him get a job, and get lost. And it sounds like Revie Herb, needs to get enrolled in the school of hard knocks.
---Cynthia_1 on 3/8/07


Mt18:21
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Mt18:22
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Why did you marry him to start with? Rekindel that first love.
---Rev_Herb on 3/8/07


While it is true that divorce is not God's best, the Bible clearly states that if an unbeliever wants to leave, the believer is not bound to stay. Your best bet in this case, I believe, would be to finalize the whole deal with divorce papers.
---tommy3007 on 8/7/06




Tell him no he can't come back. and that you don't want him back. You are not oblagated to take him back. he made his bed, now make him lay in it.
---Rebecca_D on 8/7/06


I agree with emg on this one!!! You are under no obligation to invite him back. He made his bed and now has to lie in it.
---Crystal on 8/7/06


Rachel: Yes, we were unequally yoked when we married, but I didn't know that. I was a new Christian and he said he too was a Christian. I didn't know enough to look at his fruits rather than just listen to his words. I believed him. It was after the wedding that I realized he likely is not a Christian. Madison: he has refused any kind of counseling.
---Debbie on 8/7/06


Doesn't the bible say that if a non-believer wanted to leave a believing spouse they should leave but if they wanted to stay the believer should let them stay? (Don't know where that is though). This man is the non-believer and he chose to leave. Does scripture also say that if he chooses to return the believer must allow this? I don't think it does. He chose his path and she should be allowed to now live her life without the stress and financial hardship that he will bring with him if he returns.
---emg on 8/7/06


From what has been written, it appears all he wants is a place to stay. ONLY consider taking him back if he agrees to counceling BEFORE you take him back.
---wivv on 8/7/06




Debbie, if he has told you that he does not love you. He is not going to bring peace into your home. Set him free.Maybe he will look skyward once he hits rock bottom. Do NOT worry about this detail. If a nc leaves the Christian is set free. That means you bear no more responsibility because he is not staying with you in peace. He is TRYING to use you. I suggest you get some good study books to help you understand your worth as a woman in Christ. TD Jakes has some good ones. Woman Thou Art Loosed.
---Amy9384 on 8/6/06


Debbie you are not responsible for this man. He left. You may wait and see if he is willing to go to counseling adn if he will work on the marriage b4 moving back in. Don't let him move in without doing any work...and getting his own money right. Don't let him back in without PEACE!!! The scriptures ICor7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
---Amy9384 on 8/6/06


Doesn't sound like there's anything to re-ignite here. If the unbelieving spouse departs, you are free. Especially if he had girlfriends on the side(if that was the case). You were spiritually unequally yoked, if you were a believer and he was not at the time of your marriage. Seek Godly counsel, I don't know if you have kids.
---Rachel on 8/6/06


Personally, I would not file for divorce, NOR would I let him back into the house until there has been a few months of weekly marital therapy sessions.
---Madison1101 on 8/6/06


Madison: I believe it is just for a roof over his head. He has shown no desire to work on our marriage and his timing is very coincidental (he was kicked out of his father's house recently). He admits to not loving me. I am torn about if I am still bound to him because I didn't divorce him soon after he walked out on us.
---Debbie on 8/6/06


Is he coming back to work on the marriage or just have a roof over his head? If it is to work on the marriage, then you are to take him back. If it is for a roof, send him to a shelter.
---Madison1101 on 8/6/06


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Rev. Herb: This is not about forgiveness. I have forgiven him for walking out on me and our daughter and for not supporting her ever (not even when he lived here). My question was, must I allow him to move back in here? I do not wish to be used and he will certainly send me into financial hardship with his erratic spending.
---Debbie on 8/6/06


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