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Sign A Prenup For Marriage

I have read all the blogs posted on prenups. I am engaged to a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with and he wants a prenup. I have refused to sign it. I see it as a lack of trust. Is there any way to get him to see and understand my point of view?

Moderator - Why not sign the prenup?

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 ---Jennifer on 8/9/06
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Robyn--//But it is not the children's business what you are marrying the dad for.//
Unfortunately, the majority of adult kids feel PROTECTIVE toward their single parent. They MAKE his/her marriage their business!

You cannot demand respect respect from adult children. They are adults and will respect you only if they feel you are worthy.

One way to prove your yourself is by showing them your intentions in the form of a legal document such as a pre-nup. (You probably won't want to reveal your whole last will and testament or other financial details...nor should you have to)
---Donna66 on 12/4/10


In Biblical times, the Law had a "prenup." The oldest son recieved the largest share of the inheritance.
One problem of marriages of older couples who marry, without a prenup/will, part of one spouse's inheritance may end up going to the other spouse's children, and the spouse may never have even known them or lived with them.
---Rod4Him on 12/3/10


Donna66: You make a good point,too. But it is not the children's business what you are marrying the dad for. You need to let these kids know upfront you are to be respected and wishes made known---now! Not later. Kids have a way of messing marriages up, if the couple allows this. Interfering where they should not. I don't mind a will. And a pre-nup would not be that bad. I would weigh my options first. Then in most states the wife and husband has to share and split property etcc...if a divorce or death takes place. The wife would be the next of kin and has control of the estate, if there is one. I would have to be aware of the legalities.
---Robyn on 12/2/10


Robyn ---I would ask for a pre-nup if my spouse had children by a previous marriage and they worried that I might be marrying him for HIS money. It would assure them that, despite my marriage to their father, they would get the inheritance they were entitled to!

Again, this does not apply only in cases of divorce, but also if one spouse dies before the other (which is the way it usually happens)
---Donna66 on 12/2/10


A pre-nup does not go against God's Word,literally. But, symbolically it does. What the spouse who wants the other to sign, is saying a lot of terrible things, before the wedding even take place.I would hate to sign one. I would be going into the marriage with apprehension. The person with the money is also telling me, he loves his money, more than me. That is not the best way to begin a marriage. We are to become as one. Sharing everything. Signing a pre-nup is divisive and underhanded. It is going against the concept as becoming one in Christ. A red flag. If you sign the pre-nup, this man/woman with money will continue to use the money to control you and to keep the upperhand in the marriage. Don't do it!
---Robyn on 12/2/10




Pre-nups are especially important for "blended" families and/or to reassure one spouses' family that the new mate is not a "gold-digger" (without revealing your entire last will and testament). If one or both spouses own a business or part of one, it is essential, to insure fairness.

Don't forget, there are other reasons aside from divorce, why couples are parted...death, for instance!
---Donna66 on 12/2/10


\\Rhonda, can you tell us exactly how a pre-nup goes against God's word?

Bet you can't!
*****

how absurd let's play BET on Gods Word?\\

I'm not betting on the God's word.

I'm betting on your inability to answer my question, and it looks like I've won.
---Cluny on 12/2/10


Rhonda, can you tell us exactly how a pre-nup goes against God's word?

Bet you can't!
*****

how absurd let's play BET on Gods Word?

sweetie sorry to INFORM you there is NOTHING that describes a pre-nup in Gods Word

please don't make yourself look silly be comparing Hebrew customs to the teachings of Apostles

further anyone who is foolish enough to sign a pre-nup MUST UNDERSTAND there marriage is a joke - there spouse is already married to their money
---Rhonda on 12/2/10


I agree with the moderator --sign the pre-nup?

Pre-nups guarantee fairness.
You leave the marriage with what you bought materially to the table and no more.

You don't have to sign and don't have to marry him.
Your duty is not to "get him" to see your point of view, and if you want to spend the rest of your life with him...get married.
This says more about you than him.
---larry on 12/1/10


\\this proves???? since Jews have done many things OUTSIDE of Gods Holy Word ....I'm not jewish nor do I care what ANY religion has determined is good for their followers\\

Rhonda, can you tell us exactly how a pre-nup goes against God's word?

Bet you can't!
---Cluny on 11/29/10




Jews have been signing pre-nuptual agreements since slightly after Moses
*****

this proves???? since Jews have done many things OUTSIDE of Gods Holy Word ....I'm not jewish nor do I care what ANY religion has determined is good for their followers



******
Rhonda your depth of knowledge of why people get prenups is obviously limited. If he has heirs, he has a responsibility to protect their inheritance.
****

no sweetie you do that with a LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT not a prenup ...your knowledge seems to be bit backwards

prenups have and always will be ABOUT the impending FUTURE divorce

neighbor has been a divorce attorney for more than 20 years NEVER seen a marriage with a prenup last
---Rhonda on 11/27/10


Not only heirs, John, but business partners, investors, employees, etc.

A former spouse can step into a business and cause serious upheaval if a prenup isn't signed. It's unfair to other people with an interest in a business, investments, etc. not to stipulate what should happen to these assets in a divorce settlement.

Divorce happens. No one goes into it believing it will and most work diligently to avoid it. Yet, people...including Christians...get divorced every day and, rarely, is it pretty. A prenup helps protect both parties and is signed when both are in love and open to doing right by the other. If divorce happens, spouses may not be so kind...therefore, signing a prenup upon entry is actually a good thing!
---AlwaysOn on 11/20/10


Jews have been signing pre-nuptual agreements since slightly after Moses.

What do you think the Siddoch, or marriage contract, is?

Among other things, it lists the duties each party has to the other and provisions for division of property and return of the dowry at the dissolution of the marriage.
---Cluny on 11/20/10


Rhonda your depth of knowledge of why people get prenups is obviously limited. If he has heirs, he has a responsibility to protect their inheritance.
---John on 11/20/10


just remember a prenup indicates your husband to be is ALREADY MARRIED

he is married to his financial worth, his assets, and MONEY

you will always be secondary in his life

is it no surprise that more than half of all marriages end in divorce and a prenup has the same statistics

your future husband is really saying I want to marry you and PLAY house for a while but when things are not pretty it will not be for better or worse and I want my first love to stay with me

in essence a prenup is an iron clad guarantee the marriage will be short lived
---Rhonda on 11/20/10


Here is the reality. The civil government is after you, your marriage, your children and one spouse's earnings - to gain federal matching funds that cover state welfare obligations. You don't have any idea the assault you will endure until you are forced through it. Marital partners, and husbands or husbands-to-be in particular, would be irresponsible not to have a signed "proclamation of intent" specifically taking marital problems to a designated non-civil court mediation resource. Lives are totally destroyed by civil authorities utilizing "discretion" [granted by legislators] in an unfair and abusive manner. Sign or be damaged -- or destroyed. This is the reality, until we can change the mess that in the civil courts.
---Kevin on 11/17/10


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The pre-nup is the modern equivalent of a betrothal contract. As long as it protects both parties, there's no insult in having one.

Hire yourself an attorney to make sure it is equitable to both parties.

If it is, sign it.

If not, dump the loser.
---Nancy on 12/1/07


In great faith, I added my exhusband's name to my house and credit accounts. During the sad divorce a decade later, he forced sale of our house to get his "half" leaving me and our children with nowhere to live. We have barely made it, while he lives in a luxurious house with his new wife. I am seeking a prenup before remarrying because of the shocking actions a "Christian" man can take against a stay-at-home Mom and their child(ren). --desdemona
---Melissa on 7/24/07


I echo the Moderator. Is there something in the prenup you disagree with? Prenups are contracts signed by both parties to safeguard the persons in case the marriage happens to end in divorce, and it prevents one person from wrongfully taking everything the other has. Perhaps he was wrongfully destroyed by a women in the past and he doesn't want it to happen again. If you disagree, then don't marry him.
---Eloy on 4/7/07


[1]it depends on what kind of prenup. prenup doesn't have to mean "When we divorce" it could mean how our marriage will work. I was against prenups for a long time before I realized it was just a contract made before nuptials. I will definitely have one and here's why. cont.
---Tami on 4/6/07


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My belief is that the man should be the number one financial provider (I'm the nurturer) So no matter how much I make he is still to provide for more than half the bills 45/65 (10% for misc). And we need 3 bank accounts his mine and ours. because when it comes to gift giving I wouldn't want to be buying my own gift when I want to remodel the kitchen. And vise-versa. I want to spend my money on him. Not his money on him.
---Tami on 4/6/07


[3] There are other things we must agree on before marriage that I would like to have in writing before hand. It's like a business partnership that needs a written contract. So I'm not a fan of divorce but I am a fan of planning a marriage. Some people say I do but have no idea what the "do" is. So in this case a prenup is best. Is there anyway you two could work together to come up with a prenup that says "I love you and..." instead of "I love you but..."
---Tami on 4/6/07


He is not being unreasonable just bases on statistics, 50% of marriages fail in the USA and for Christians the rate is about 40% plus or minus 2 percent dependent upon Church denomination.

Preplan for contingencies!!!
---notlaw99 on 4/5/07


I said it before and will say it again, All that we have is from the Lord and belongs to Him. Seems the focus here is all about what is MINE or YOURS.
---Christina on 9/23/06


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Prenups are disgusting, to me. Like you, I agree - they are indicating a full percent of trust is lacking, regardless of the reason. While you indicate you want to spend the rest of your life with him - the question that comes to my mind is, "does he plan on spending the rest of his life with you?" Change him - while I'd like to think you can, I really doubt it. Before I can make a valid judgement, though, it would be required for me to know why he wants a prenup in the first place.
---wivv on 9/22/06


Jennifer... We're anxious to hear your thoughts (in 85 words or less) on the subject now. Maybe you can enlighten us about what you think (not feel~ emotions are rarley reliable) now that you have researched the topic. Carla~Nobodys "worried"! We're just realists who choose to consider other possibilities other than your "pie in the sky" approach to life. (At least you're still not trying to sell your errant "will" advise :~)
---David on 8/30/06


If your afraid of someone wiping you out after marriage why bother getting married to them!
---Carla5754 on 8/30/06


Biblically, before marriage, assets were negotiated.

Many corporations won't allow execs in key positions without a prenup. Previously, ex-spouses often ended up being majority shareholders (decision makers) in multi-million dollar corps as a result of divorce. Often, jobs were lost and revenues suffered. Prenups may also protect one spouse from suits brought against the other and the seizure of assets. They offer legal asset protection and not just in circumstances of divorce.
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06


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Jennifer... Did we "help" you? Haven't heard from you in awhile. Still engaged? :~)
---David on 8/25/06


CARLA! Pay attention. Wills and prenups are different. Why be sneaky? Agree on everything up front. Why would you try to "sneak one by" your loved one (deception). Anybody who is considering a will instead of a prenup, make sure you educate yourself first and seek legal advise. You will find out Carla is wrong. This doesn't have to be so difficult if you READ before you act. There is a MOUNTAIN of information available if you really want to know
David(MFEMF?)
---david on 8/21/06


Make a will and there can be no mistake where your hard earned cash will go. To manny times I have seen families with childern robbed by people with money vasted interest over and over again. It's been sad to watch the children suffer hardship when a parent has been wealthy. I would rather see the children regardless of age inherit their parents wealth than see a stranger benifit with their new partner and again with a partner with one foot in the grave, while they are ready for the next windfall!
---Carla5754 on 8/20/06


There certainly are two sides to this and if I were involved, would want to be able to freely and openly talk it over. It could well be that there could be a whole lot more peace and lack of problems in a marriage when both partners KNOW where things stand. It certainly would seem to eliminate an area where there could be a lot of temptation to "think evil" if someone was having a bad day.
---Wayne87 on 8/20/06


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Absolutely WRONG! Wills and Prenups are ENTIRELY different. Dangerously different. You are mis/uninformed! Read something. Books, internet, legal opinions.

Remember "KNOWLEDGE IS POWER".And IT IS ABOUT TRUST! You wanta trust, trust Jesus! everybody else... insist on a prenup ! Someone wrote "Would you go on a cruise without a lifeboat, on a cruiseline where 50% of the ships sank"? Nuff said?

Hey! anybody heard from Jennifer who started this mess :~). God bless all!
---MFEMF on 8/18/06


It was said tonuge in cheek really, and David that was 100.000 pounds not dollas I dont come cheep! Get real money could never be the basis for marriage and I understand that one has to protect ones assets against people that marry for money and the children loose out, but if you write a will there's no need for a Prenup like the rich and famous, I have heard of the horror stories but that's all down to people who trust, their partner rather than make a will.
---Carla5754 on 8/18/06


thus divided equally in the case of a divorce (UNLESS he requests different arrangments in your prenup~ watch that closely). True, you should hionestly discuss WHY he wants a prenup if he has "nothing" but be open nminded and mature I'm convinced you can reach an agreement. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER JEN... Read... Every financial expert I have read (ALOT) and even "Equality in Marriage" and "Focus on the family" STRONGLY advocates prenups.
---david on 8/18/06


Jennifer: Read "Prenups for Lovers" by Arlene Dubin. Please don't arbitrarily refuse to sign without a full understanding of the reasoning behind them. Depending on what state you live in, an attorney MUST represent you in order for the prenup to be legal. And if neither of you has "anything" going into the marriage, then neither of you has anything to lose. Most state laws designate anything acquired during the marriage to become community property i.e equal ownership (continued),
---david on 8/18/06


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Carla ... I'm so sorry for what I said ... I had not looked at any blogs about yuor marital status or history.
My remarks were purely as a result of what you had written. It sounded so bitter and distrustful of men that I assumed you had had a bad experience of a man or men.
I'm very pleased that you have a happy marriage.
---alan8869_of_UK on 8/18/06


Carla, for what it's worth I took what you originally said as sarcasm. Don't be too hard on Alan though, he was looking to encourage you, the others, well...I'm sticking my tongue out as we speak, how's that for maturity? LOL!
---Katie on 8/18/06


All that we have is from the Lord and belongs to Him. Seems the focus here is all about what is MINE or YOURS.
---Christina on 8/18/06


Alan if you go back to those bloggs that suggest that I am remarried and comitting Adultery you will notice since I discovered them and corrected the untruths no more has been written, Carla5754. I am not in An Unhappy marriage,Pro Marriage, Man Hater,Goldigging marriage,re-married,Looking for forgiveness ,Love, or for sympathy to buy thank you, for the last time, PLEASE. I am married ONCE &ONCE only and continue to be so. I give my opininon as do everyone else I just get called names for doing so!
---Carla5754 on 8/18/06


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Sorry if you were hurt by the suggestion but it was basicaly written to point out fairness. I do'nt value marriages based on Penups basically because it is unbalanced and based on money not love. Sorry Alan but your assessment of me are again unfounded and I really do wish you would ask before you publish such untruths, thats how you get to know a person and stop the wrong things being written in the first place, please.... get to know me, Thanks!
---Carla5754 on 8/18/06


Jennifer, have you asked him right out WHY he wants a prenupt? I mean, if both of you have nothing what's the point? What you guys accumulate after you marry would be divided, right? He has nothing before so what is he trying to protect?
---sue on 8/17/06


Sadly, I think Carla was much damaged by her marriage, and by making what David thinks are excessive demands, is telling us that she will not trust any man in the future.
Carla, we men are not all cruel & faithful, or whatever you fear we may all be. There are marriages where neither spouse on the other, and where each truly loves and honours the other.
---alan8869_of_UK on 8/17/06


Carla... Your "kneejerk" demand for $100,000 are "golddigging" words, shows a lack of maturity and may be unreasonbable. What if "he" doesn't have much money but simply wants to protect something he brings into marriage for his children/ grandchildren, that needs to be protected under your state laws? Is that selfish? Unreasonable?

Everything else you suggest, depending on domestic circumstances, is fair and "fair"ness should be the standard in prenups.
---david on 8/17/06


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You go David!!! I'm a woman, and I would certainly sign, after reviewing, praying, and discussing with my future partner. We live in a fallen world, and the only guarantee is Jesus.
---daphn8897 on 8/17/06


My ex-husband came into our marriage with absolutely nothing. No vehicle, no job, no money, NOTHING. I had a savings account, a 401K, a CD, a new car, nice house that was almost paid for, etc., NOT that material things mean anything to me BUT when we were divorcing he went after EVERYTHING that was mine before we were married. God somehow blocked it, but I gave him $13,000 to buy a new truck for himself. I wasn't willing to give him anything further...so I see your finacee's point.
---Donna9759 on 8/17/06


Jennifer, my suggestion to you would be instead of signing a pre-nup, write a note saying you are in love with this man and you do not plan to ever divorce him, but if it should ever happen, that you will not go after anything that he isn't willing to give to you. How's that sound? Good advice? Tell you why I'm saying this....to be continued.
---Donna9759 on 8/17/06


"Nothing can kill romance faster then the word "prenup"... describes how many women FEEL about prenups. It is an EMOTIONAL issue. But use you head, not your heart. When "informed", reasonable and logical women ultimately conceed their FAIRNESS. "KNOWLEDGE IS POWER"... Their fairness (your attorney must deem them fair) and "smart"ness may take a while to sink in, but it is indisputiable.

If you refuse to sign one, who doesn't trust whom?
---david on 8/17/06


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Hi back Geoff (2)! Amen to that!
---Katie on 8/14/06


Hi Katie. Seems there is another Geoff on ChristiaNet. This Geoff agrees with you. A prenup in my understanding is a reserve, "just in case" things don't work out. When I got married, I burned the ships, no turning back. The only way to do this is in Christ. He will make it last. It's been wonderful. Maranatha!
---Geoff on 8/13/06


Jennifer:: After your clarification it seems that your to be Husband has no reason to advocate a pre nup.He has probably been reading too many Hollywood titbits,from where he got the idea.my Vote is NO pre nup.You are just both starting life & has no other assets which he brings to the union.
---Emcee on 8/10/06


emg,I said what they aquire while married belongs to them both. In Texas the last I heard that is except for anything inherited, it belongs only to the one who receives it. Not everyone uses those vows at marriage anymore. Thanks Madison and Jack, I was sure laws in other States are different. It still doesn't seem right for anyone to get what may rightfully belong to the other's heirs, and it's still good business to take care of what you have. Some New Spouse's true colors may not be so pretty to see.
---Darlene_1 on 8/10/06


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Moderator, what did you mean when you said to Crystal "He may have family members that have a Biblical right to his assets."

Moderator - He may have a family business, prior children, grandchildren, etc. Typically, people of wealth are older or part of a family business or both.
---emg on 8/10/06


Darlene, 'with all my worldly goods I thee endow' etc. No-one should take vows lightly. A wealthy man could lose all his money during marriage, the wife might be the one to get the finances back on track again because she might be much wiser than he is. Are you saying that, in those circumstances, the money should then be only the wife's and not shared if they split up? What about marriages where the man has put in nothing except money and the wife everything except money?
---emg on 8/10/06


I agree with those of you that have stated that what he has before the marriage should be his and vice versa,neither of us had much of anything other than personal belongings. We have began purchasing a home together which we share financial responsibility. Other than our home that we have began to biuld together,there is nothing of value other than sentimental. As for his family doubting my reasons for marrying their son, well , BOTH of them think that the prenup is a bad idea.
---Jennifer on 8/9/06


** I believe by law a new wife has no claim on what a man owned when they marry and vice versa.**

Darlene, I believe this depends on the laws of the state where the couple resides--or laws of the country.

California does, or did, have a "community property" law where all property held separately by the spouses before the marriage automatically was assumed to be held in common afterwards, unless other provision were made by a prenuptual agreement.
---Jack on 8/9/06


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There are some good reasons for a pre-nup. Especially in a case where a widower has grown children, his new wife may want to sign a prenup to assure the children that the marriage won't affect their or the grandchildrens inheritance. It may not seem to be an issue, but if tensions arise, it's all too easy for adult children to decide their dad has married a "goldigger".
---Donna2277 on 8/9/06


I would definatelty agree 100% with a prenup as long as it came with the condtion of a 100,000 dowery before marriage directly into my bank account, He also signs to doing 100% along with mine, when it comes to the house work,looking after the kids and washing the car, even the dog. If I close the curtain he closes the other, if I cook he washes up, If I wash the clothes he drys them....ect, after all life for him is about protecting his assets, and life for me is making sure I'm not USED.
---Carla5754 on 8/9/06


Good for him. He is a realist. Maybe he has been reading the blogs posted by all the women who justify divorcing a man for any reason at all. These are supposedly Christian women yet vows, promises, commitment, biblical principals all mean nothing if they decide that they are not sufficiently fulfilled. So many people expect trust yet are not trustworthy. Feel fortunate that you have a wise, financially prudent man who is willing to take a chance where the odds are not in his favor.
---ralph7477 on 8/9/06


Darlene: You are incorrect. In Pennsylvania, what a man brings into marriage becomes community property unless there is a pre-nup.
---Madison1101 on 8/9/06


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Prenups aren't lack of trust but a way for someone to assure what they had when married will remain theirs and any heirs. I think it is foolish not to have a prenup, the other party has no right to what a person accuimalated before they commited to them. Word to wise: you "NEVER" know a person until you live with them. It's nothing about trust, but all about using wisdom. Many a poor sucker, male and female, has trusted only to be taken to the cleaners. Prenup=protection.
---Darlene_1 on 8/9/06


I'm afraid I don't like the idea of the prenup.
To me the husband to be is saying to his beloved that he does not really think they will spend their life together and that if they do part, he does not trust her to divide the spoils fairly.
---alan8869_of_UK on 8/9/06


Jennifer::A Pre nup is a clause reneging "with all my worldly Goods"Circumstances may dictate that there was a prior commitment.Is it his lack of Trust Or Your Doubt.?This is not in Gods marriage contract.you would be well advised to reacess this relationship.
---Emcee on 8/9/06


PART ONE:
This is from a recent news letter I recieve:
"Commitment--and the lack thereof--continues to be a major issue inrelationships, even long-term ones. Relationship coaches frequently see couples who have been together for years, but still have "one foot out the back door." In other words, one or both people still have not made a wholehearted commitment to the relationship. When commitment is not 100%,it has the same effect as if it were 1%.
---Bruce5656 on 8/9/06


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PART TWO:
Until one if fully committed, one cannot summon the power, passion, and energy to solve the inevitable challenges that arise."

To me a prenup shows a lack of trust and a "one foot out the door" attitude.

The prelevance of this attitude is not suprising given the attitude toward divorce that is evident among the responders to various divorce centered blogs that appear here. "No problem, get divorced and move on. After all, "God forgives any sin."
---Bruce5656 on 8/9/06


Geoff, that's funny cause I think NOT signing a pre-nup is right for the same reason you gave! LOL. Both sides have good points, but I don't agree with prenups. Personally, I think it's a back door for a failed marriage.
Heirs are only heirs if you give it to them. it's not a right, but a blessing. It's not the money and materials that matter in life, it's the people. Shame on us if we let greed get in the way of that.
---Katie on 8/9/06


Ok, now I understand you reasoning a little bit better. I apologize for my haste!
---Crystal on 8/9/06


Natasha, You cannot guarantee that you will even be breathing tomorrow - and, we live in a fallen world and people still sin. With that in mind, why not remove one area of contention - finances - and sign. And, Jennifer, even if he "understands" your point of view that doesn't mean he'll agree with you. Your refusal to sign could send up red flags to him and his family - as to your real reasons for marrying him.
---daphn8897 on 8/9/06


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Prenup would seem to be a quiet discussion of your divorce before it takes place!!!
---mima on 8/9/06


Why not sign the prenup? Did you really suggest that, Moderator? What kind of Christian advice is that? A prenup indicates that one party believe this marriage may not last. Time to reconsider or at least seek pre-marital counseling. I think it is preposterous for Christians to sign prenups. Call me old-fashioined, but I don't think this is part of God's plan. It's like putting your teen daughter on birth control - a license to sin.

Moderator - A prenup is used to make sure that the assets are passed on to the rightful heirs. He may have family members that have a Biblical right to his assets. Of course the prenup can be changed over time as the family situation changes.
---Crystal on 8/9/06


i dread the day my fiance asks me that, if he does. I agree with Jennifer. I wouldnt want to sign it either. When you marry it should be forever, stats or no stats. To sign it shows distrust before the marriage even starts. Its like saying, i love you forever but just in case i dont sign here pls.
---natasha on 8/9/06


I think a pre-nup is the MOST ROMANTIC thing a couple can do before marriage. It's a metaphor, saying "As long as we're together, you can trust that it is because I WANT to be with you. I honor my vows because of my faith in God and my faith in you. Money has absolutely no part of it, and never can."
---Geoff on 8/9/06


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His wanting a prenup is, unfortunately, a sign of the times. I suggest you sit down with him and go over the document. Let him know if there are specific points with which you disagree. Trust goes both ways... if you love and trust him, you'll find the middle/compromise - and then sign it.
---daphn8897 on 8/9/06


I believe by law a new wife has no claim on what a man owned when they marry and vice versa. It is only the things they buy together after marriage that belongs to them both. Prenup is fair ,you have no right to what he already had . Where is your trust in him? You need to see his point.It really looks bad for you to refuse to sign. Like you are a gold digger. If you love him and truely want to spend the rest of your life with him forget what he has and sign.
---Darlene_1 on 8/9/06


Prenuptual agreements (I believe the term is "siddoch")--marital contracts by any other name-- have been part of Judaism for centuries.

However, if you don't trust him for ANY reason (and the idea of a pre-nuptual agreement is clearly vitiating your trust), you shouldn't get married.
---Jack on 8/9/06


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