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Husband Addicted To Anger

My husband has anger management problem. Treats me with little respect, throws things when he looses his temper; lost over irrational things. Want my marriage to work but am tired of humiliation. Father treated mother with little respect and he witnessed that. I do not want to turn to divorce.

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 ---angie_henderson on 8/11/06
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The problem may be more spiritual than physical, but do not lose hope. The Lord Jesus Christ has power over all spirits, please ask for HIS help.
---Adetunji on 8/26/11

Lynn, Unfortunately, your children will be effected, (and may think it normal) as much as you may wish otherwise. I have children who went through violent anger from their father, and younger did not. Differences are quite apparent in the 2 "groups". they will become like him in ways if something doesn't change. Start with seeking the Lord, separate, for fasting and prayer, see where God leads. All could benefit from counseling, pray about who to counsel with. My oldest daughters live for the Lord, and have had counseling, are doing fairly well, but oldest son, not living for the Lord, has violent, frightening, temper. Do all you can while they are young. God bless.
---Chria9396 on 8/24/11

I think the best way to change a person is to invite him to have a personal relationship with Jesus.Only Jesus can create a new person out of Him.This i think is a spiritual warfare.
---mj on 8/24/11

I am 16 years married, 2 fabulous children and a wonderful provider as a husband. It just feels like Satan enters his realm and he doesn't even know what he is doing. I cringe at the thought of my children thinking this is normal
---Lynn on 8/24/11

Anger is a symptom of a deeper problem. Alcohol abuse is also a symptom. Manipulation and control is the underlying cause of these symptoms. And of course, sin is the root. Anger management will not help him. It only treats the symptom. We need to go to the root of the problem, take care of that, then the symptoms will go away too. If you pull a weed on the surface, it grows back. If you pull the weed all the way out from its roots, it dies.
---Vicki on 5/9/09

My husband has the same problem. He throws things and threatens to hurt me when we are in a heated argument. He has never hit me (yet) but he has pushed me away and made me fall to the ground. When he gets this way I find myself to be someone that I do not like and am ashamed of...yelling back and scratching him to keep him from hurting me. Usually the fights are over our infant son...he says I always make comments when he has him and won't let him take care of him in his own way. I don't mean to be nagging or always giving my opinion. I, like you, don't want divorce, but I hate that we bring the worst out in each other and don't want our son to be raised in a home like that. I need prayer! Has anything worked for you?
---Kelly on 5/8/09

Do you have children? are they watching this take place?
---eliza4969 on 3/23/08

And your question is what, Angie?

Are you looking for advice? Sympathy? Support groups?

What exactly do you want from telling your story here?
---Jack on 3/23/07

You call it an anger management problem. God calls it sin. Galatians 5:20 calls anger "outbursts of wrath" and it is listed as one of the sins that "those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God" (verse 21). Your husband needs Jesus to come and save him and set him free from this anger.
---Helen_5378 on 8/14/06

John T - How come you point Angie to Al-Anon. Why did you not point her to Jesus?
---Helen_5378 on 8/14/06

Take hubby to the doctor for physical. High blood pressure msy causes angry reactions, may be so with him.

If he has rage reactions, he may be addicted to the adrenaline rush that anger gives.

At the least, get professional counseling for yourself. Perhaps going to an Al Anon meeting can link you up with other spouses in a similar situation.

Alcohol may NOT be the root problem, but going to a group like them can help you make good plans for your future in a safe place.
---John_T on 8/13/06

**Father treated mother with little respect and he witnessed that.**

HIS father treated his mother this way--or YOUR father treated your mother? It's not clear from your posting.

Either way it shows how adult children frequently repeat the mistakes of their parents.
---Jack on 8/12/06

Angie, he needs help. You might find help available in your area if you go on-line but, if not, your family doctor should be able to advise you or, depending on where you are in the world, you could try Citizens' Advice type organizations. If he witnessed this sort of behaviour as a child he probably believes it to be acceptable and so will any future generation who see his behaviour. This problem will not go away without help.
---emg on 8/12/06

Pray and tell him to go to anger managements problem classes. Whatever you want to do it as a family. i personally believe that our relationship is one -on-one bases. He needs to want God for himself before he can change. You as the wife need to let him know that he is hurting you. Talk to your church leader and your pastor. Seek support from other prayer woman.
---aanu on 8/11/06

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