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How To Help My Nephew

My nephew needs help. He's 19, has a job but doesn't make much $$. He has nowhere to live and has been sleeping here and there at friends houses. I want him to stay with me and husband for a while. Husband says no. Not enough room (studio apt.). Nephew is in very bad way and needs me. What to do?

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 ---sue on 8/21/06
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The first thing is to pray and trust God to work in the situation. Begin by helping your nephew find his purpose in life. What has God created Him to become. Does this require College, the military, a trade school of some sort. Now is the time He must begin the process of building His life. Without a vision and some support he will remain floating. God will also provide for His basic needs if your nephew will first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness. I will pray for Him.
---Anthony_Perry on 8/27/08

It would be difficult to have him stay with you if you are not both in agreement. Is there any other way you could help him? Are there hostels in your area where he could have a bed to sleep on a regular basis until he can afford something better? What about the Salvation Army, they often find such places - or the Y.M.C.A. (although that is not really a Christian organization any more).
---M.P. on 8/26/08

All married people are to put their spouse FIRST! Maybe there is another way to help this person without asking him to move in with you. You must also consider the fact that your husband may see the picture a little clearer than yourself. He may see that this nephew does not need to be enabled further but redirected to further his education, get a better job, or learn to manage what he does make.
---Crystal on 8/20/07

Sounds like he really needs someone to show him God's love right now regardless his past, or even his present ways. Although you can't take him in under your roof, you can still take him under your wing so to speak. Pray with him if he'll let you, take him to church, talk with him, take him out for a night of fun, anything he responds to positively. Maybe find something he's good at and do it together meanwhile being an example of God's love.
---Katie on 8/22/06

Sue: I hope he is getting therapy through a community mental health agency. They can help connect him with services that can help him. Even though he is working, he may still qualify for food stamps and welfare. He may also be able to get Section 8 housing.

With his recent suicide attempt, he really needs therapy. There is some healing that needs to take place, and therapy can help him find the wounds.
---Madison1101 on 8/22/06

My heart goes out to you, Sue, and to your nephew as well. I'm sad to hear that he feels such low self-esteem. There are alternatives to college, training programs and tech schools just to name two. Also, he might consider getting his Commerical Drivers License (CDL). He can pick a booklet up from DMV (free), study it, and take the test. This may accomplish two things immediately - increase his earning potential AND boost his self-esteem. He will be in my prayers too.
---Crystal on 8/22/06

Sue, he will be in my prayers. I was wondering, if the military would be an option for him.
---bethie on 8/22/06

Thanx Madison, I knew you'd respond, you're so smart with this kind of stuff, social things. This kid is already on probation for under age drinking,and he tried to kill himself a month ago. He thinks he is a looser and no good. Please pray for him! He needs some good people and I'm afraid if he went off to college it just wouldn't work right now.
---sue on 8/22/06

sue, I totally understand and have mounds of compassion on your nephew. I'd take him in if I had the room. My ex-husband's mother was killed when he was 4 and his step-father was an alcoholic and tried to kill him. When I married him, I tried to love him back to life, but he was so damaged, he refused to let anyone help him. I still, to this day, pray for him DAILY. KEEP PRAYING for your nephew. God hears your prayers, and I'll pray for him too. God Bless you.
---Donna9759 on 8/22/06

Your nephew falls into a category called "The Working Poor." I would encourage him to consider going to college. As an independent adult, he would qualify for grants and student loans. He could live on-campus, or get a room near the campus. With more education, the employment picture is better.
It is good that your son is open to letting him live there. The other option would be for him to find a boarding house, or share an apartment with a couple of other guys.
---Madison1101 on 8/21/06

Thank you for responses. Donna, he is staying with my son and his wife now. My son just got home from Iraq and is letting him stay for free for as long as it takes.This kid had a lot of hard knocks. His mom died a few years ago, father never around. He is trying but it's very hard when you dont have money and you're so young.
---sue on 8/21/06

Is he estranged from his parents and grandparents? Is your nephew responsible, or has his lifestyle caused him financial stress? Without details it's hard to know whether to advise financial support or tough love...
---Katie on 8/21/06

sue, do you have any good Christian friends who can take him in? It should really be a family or a male, older and mature in the Lord so they can teach and guide your nephew into all truth. I will pray for Him, God never forsakes the lonely. King David said, "he makes a home for the lonely." Thank you Father God for that!
---Donna9759 on 8/21/06

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