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Do Christians Need To Marry

I've heard of Christians marrying without a marriage license or certificate. Reasons vary, but for now, let's assume there's good reason. Do you consider such marriages as being real and what makes them different from living in sin? If you don't consider them valid, please state why not.

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 ---AlwaysOn on 8/26/06
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A woman in the 80's became the abassador for 16yr olds stating that girls needed the pill to stop teenage pregnacies today Britan leads the polls with the most teenage pregnancies in Europe. So this do gooder only stood to promote under age sex and promote unwanted babies Which is what married without a licence would promote, women/men without any husbands/wives and more, and more children without EVEN more fathers/Mothers how would you measure against this.
---Carla5754 on 3/27/08

It is recorded you reap what you sow. 1963 saw the birth of the sexual revolution and drug indulgement. divorce skyrocketed, everything was love and peace. youth rebelled against everything traditional in life. that led to living together, fornication, adultery, etc. Now it is 43 years later. the children of the flower children have grown and they followed the paths of satan like a horse follows a carrot.
---Lori on 8/12/07

con't living together without a license or marriage certicate is living common law and is fornication in the eyes of God. regardless how you view it, it is just another evil practise many indulge in and profess they are saved. no unclean thing can enter God's kingdom and all the repentence in the world will not save you if you continue living in sin. repentence is turning away from a mistake you make, not doing it every day for life. that is a mockery of God.
---Lori on 8/12/07

=2= God forbid, mind that you are not quoting from the fact that that this generstion is now in a state of rebellion from christian teaching and prior to This generation recieving the word in their own tougue was in veiw of a Godless society. In the (1800) sex related acts rarely made the press. God gave his word that we may abstain from the sins of the world how beit not workless now is not a matter of moving backwards but at least marriage gives some sort of validity.
---Carla5754 on 8/12/07

We must always remember that we are to respect our authorities and not to be seen rebellious. If we rebell against the marriage systems would that bring more or less people to Christ? I believe that the bible does not say what constitutes a valid marriage (correct me if i'm wrong).
---Mbasa on 10/25/06

I'm glad I found this site. Although I have been a Christian over 30 years, I am lately asking the question about whether or not marriage for Christians MUST be legally documented by the State or Country. It's a financial issue for me.
---Sheila on 9/8/06

Mara, that was my question in a nutshell. I didn't create the title (and, honestly, I think the title, alone, threw some). The question was as you stated (even thought you phrased it a whole lot better). Thanks!
---AlwaysOn on 9/7/06

, marriage is by definition very public. any attempt to keep it under the radar has very questionable motives.
---steve on 9/7/06

Interesting topic because I had the same question myself. Or rather, it was more along the lines of, "If two people have a wedding ceremony and make the public declaration to the friends, family and God to be committed, then why do people say they aren't really married if they don't have a license?"

The posts on this blog really helped with my own exploration of this.
---Mara on 9/7/06

Amen, Rachel, Amen...Hugs to you and your wonderful family.
---AlwaysOn on 9/5/06

Thanks for posting on topic, Spike.
Marriage w/out paper isn't rebellious (nor stubborn nor transgression). No law requires it to marry religiously, only to gain legal benefits that people have the right to skip. The bible never states paperwork is needed, but says, instead, God validates marriage (What God hath joined together...Matt. 19:5,6 & Mark 10:9). So, nothing to rebel against. No law, legally or spiritually, stating paperwork is necessary to validate religious marriage. No harm, no foul.
---AlwaysOn on 9/5/06

Rachel, sorry to disturb you. My ancestors built this country too. Everyone has different experiences which produce different viewpoints and we all have every right to speak on them. I don't begrudge anyone for feeling how they may and I don't discredit others marrying WITH a certificate as they's all about choice and the fact that we do have valid options. Yes, God's biblical marriage is a valid option.

Last word? I simply took the time to reply to a few recent misleading posts.
---AlwaysOn on 9/5/06

Every morning, my Mom and I raise up the Marine Corp and U.S. flag for my Dad. Every sunset, we take it down and fold it carefully. He reminded me today, it's not my job to fuss with you. I leave you this, from Dad. 1 Cor 8:1 We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him.
---Rachel on 9/5/06

Did you mean you'll have the last word on this subject. I find your views about marriage, family govt., state, and our federal government disturbing. I take care of a disabled veteran who fought for our government and country, twice. We have a great country. He fought so you could speak freely against it. It's your right, but it's our right to defend the United States and all that Christianity stands for.
---Rachel on 9/5/06

#1: Before this blog comes to an end, I'll set the record straight on the deliberate splicing, cutting and pasting of my statements taken from other blogs and placed in snippets here in an attempt to discredit me as a Christian (continued)
---AlwaysOn on 9/4/06

#2: First misplaced quote: "Don't know the answer offhand, tempted to venture a guess"
Taken from: "What Was the Life of a Levite" (
My reply:
"Excellent questions, Ryan! I don't know the answer offhand (though I'm tempted to venture a guess just from what I do know), but I want to say thank you for giving me something else to read up on..."
Harmless, right?
---AlwaysOn on 9/4/06

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#3 (followed by an unnumbered #4): The second misplaced snippet from another blog, but placed here to mislead others: "I inherited Christianity, explored religions, philosophies...had a debate about Jesus. I wasn't lead in sinner's prayer...accepted Christ because He makes sense. I was truly set free"
The question was How Were You Saved and my 85 word reply was (Continued)
---AlwaysOn on 9/4/06

I inherited Christianity, but didn't truly understand or appreciate salvation. In my youth, I explored different religions and philosophies. One day, I had a debate with someone about Jesus. Their statements about Christ resonated in my Spirit. I had been awakened and accepted Christ as truth there and then. I wasn't lead in the Sinner's Prayer & I don't recall the exact date (that used to bother me), but I accepted Christ because He makes sense. I heard the truth and was, truly, set free.
---AlwaysOn on 9/4/06

#5 I wouldn't dream of apologizing for the way Jesus called me. Why another Christian would want to mock someone's testimony and make light of another's salvation is truly beyond me. I don't take it personally, but I do feel it only right to point out the truth for those of you who aren't familiar with the original context of those quotes.
---AlwaysOn on 9/4/06

1 Sam 15:23 "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry." Prov 17:19 "He who loves transgression loves strife, And he who exalts his gate sees destruction." Prov 18:17 "The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him."
---Spike on 9/3/06

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"If you disagree with what I've presented, I encourage you to use scripture to make your point or dissect mine." "One simply has to read through my posts to read multiple scripture references in support of my point.""Christ said, it's your word that binds you and it, alone, is enough. Anything needed to strenthen that word is a sign something's wrong." by AlwaysOn
---Spike on 9/3/06

"Some don't find it necessary to begin their marriages under a system that is already positioning them for divorce. How can the State assume authority over marriages which was already given to man at our creation. I have heard of people marrying without government filing, but their own families don't know. Who's offended? And it's not such a small thing to some who have serious concerns about government intervention in private lives." by AlwaysOn
---Spike on 9/3/06

"Does anyone know how the marriage license came to be in the U.S. From it's origin, it's been an insult to human beings. Some find it difficult to place Godly marriages under the authority of an ungodly system of family law. Especially when marriage was given to mankind before government even existed.....where we draw the line in saying the government is always right and Godly in these matters simply because they have the authority." by AlwaysOn
---Spike on 9/3/06

Carla, it really is food for thought, huh?!
I hope that Elder and Bruce will join the conversation soon. Until then, I really have enjoyed our conversation...thanks!
---AlwaysOn on 9/2/06

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[Spike's Quote]I counted 15 of your posts with no scripture and others are not pure bible. There's doublespeak and contradiction, fancy wordsmithing and manipulative persuasion.[End]

I've encouraged you to prove where my comments here don't line up with Christianity, Spike. Instead you've resorted to cutting & pasting snippets of mine from other blogs. When you're ready to engage in respectful, intelligent conversation, I'm here. Until then, I see no reason to engage you further.
---AlwaysOn on 9/2/06

Spike, is it really honest to take butchered snippets from comments I made on other blogs & string them together here to attempt to malign my Christian character?
Is that your best?
I would've gladly addressed any of the comments you posted within their context on the blog in which they were made. Why didn't you question me there? Why have you not addressed this topic nor did you include any of the comments I made here?

I could return the favor, Spike, but it wouldn't feel right.
---AlwaysOn on 9/2/06

Jack, on patriarchal polygamy, we know this wasn't the original marriage plan. Seems man may have begun departing from God's plan already. When Jesus spoke of hardened hearts, was it only in divorce?
I'll have to study the issue and history of polygamy a little deeper. But preliminarily I'll say that, though it was socially acceptable, I don't believe they were necessarily right in doing so. This is, of course, merely my opinion until I'm better versed on the topic.
---AlwaysOn on 9/2/06

Hi Jack,
Bound in covenant with God like Proverbs 2:17(b) suggests "...forgetteth the covenant of her God".
One would make the covenant by word, witnesses, sexual intimacy & living accordingly.
Re: atheists married in the sight of God, can they be even if they never acknowledge Him? I don't have all the answers, but my thoughts lean towards a "no".
Always ready to entertain your thoughts, however.
---AlwaysOn on 9/2/06

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I asked these questions because it was uncertain where you were coming from. I was frantically looking for elder but couldnt find him, because I needed to ask him his opinion, I'm sad he has not responeded because I like to here both his and Bruce's opininons however I am not all together satisfied with your information but for now I see exactly where you are coming from, this subject really is food for thought!
---Carla5754 on 9/2/06

I did say lifestyle in one post, meant belief system. I counted 15 of your posts with no scripture and others are not pure bible. There's doublespeak and contradiction, fancy wordsmithing and manipulative persuasion.
---Spike on 9/2/06

I said alternate belief system. "Don't know the answer offhand, tempted to venture a guess". "I inherited Christianity, explored religions, philosophies..had a debate about Jesus. I wasn't lead in sinner's prayer..accepted Christ because He makes sense. I was truly set free."
---Spike on 9/2/06

#2: Lastly, I haven't asked anyone to do a thing, nor have I advocated an alternative lifestyle. I advocate exactly what God said and what Christ taught in person. Nothing more or less. There are no traces of New Age anything in my posts, but rather old age truth found in the Old and New Testaments. It's pure bible. If you disagree with what I've presented, I encourage you to use scripture to make your point or dissect mine. Don't just say my posts don't match up with Christianity, prove it.
---AlwaysOn on 9/1/06

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#1 I protest too much, Spike? Really? You asked me a question and I responded. That I use people's names when I address them is who I am. Polite and respectful. Further, your statement that other posters have used scripture (insinuating that I haven't) is ludicrous. One simply has to read through my posts to read multiple scripture references in support of my point. (Continued...)
---AlwaysOn on 9/1/06

** #1 Carla, The issues now are basic bible. Marriage is one man and one woman bound for life in covenant with God. **
Leaving aside the issues of Jacob, David, Solomon, Elkhana, and others who had more than one wife...
Just what do you mean by "bound in covenant with God?"
How does one make this "covenant"?
And does this mean that those who do not beleive in God cannot be truly married in His sight?
---Jack on 9/1/06

Carla, re: your question on challenging what's in force, I'm not advocating we challenge the law at all. I know people who've married w/out a license and certificate and also people who've married with both, but never filed the certificate. Some say these marriages aren't valid. So I raised the question to prompt a bible-based discussion on what makes marriage valid. I ended up offering my views, supported by scripture, but I'm in no way advocating the removal of the certificate as an option.
---AlwaysOn on 9/1/06

#1 Carla, The issues now are basic bible. Marriage is one man and one woman bound for life in covenant with God.

If two stand before God and witnesses devoting their lives to marriage, it's valid. Christ said, it's your word that binds you and it, alone, is enough. Anything needed to strengthen that word is a sign something's wrong (Matt 5:37). (continued...)
---AlwaysOn on 9/1/06

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#2 In marriage, additional paperwork is optional, but state paperwork only applies to the law. It neither spiritually binds two people, nor spiritually validates a marriage. God and only God alone does this when we follow His blueprint for marriage. So, if people choose to get married His way, alone, this is valid.
---AlwaysOn on 9/1/06

#3 Carla, whose marriages aren't valid? I'll say anyone attempting marriage without going before God & dedicating the rest of their lives, in covenant with Him, to marriage. Very basic, but with emphasis being solely on paperwork, many either skip this or don't take it seriously (they don't believe it's binding).

BTW, I've submitted a new topic encouraging people towards good marriages and loving spouses as Christ loves the church (per your suggestion) last night, but I dont see it posted yet.
---AlwaysOn on 9/1/06

All scriptures were quoted by other posters for Christian marriage. I saw your posts making a case for no license, plain and simple. By using everyone's name, you were softening us up with persuasive language. But deeper is a pitch to accept an alternative lifestyle that does not line up with God's word.
---Spike on 9/1/06

Me thinks you protest too much. I see in your posts some alternative belief systems that don't match up with Christianity. I see remnants of New Age, maybe the Course of Miracles and others. They all quote scripture but lurking behind there is another way. Wordsmithing is one thing, but I'm not biting.
---Spike on 9/1/06

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So who's marriages are not valid?
---Carla5754 on 9/1/06

Okay,I read and re-read your post and you have not yet hit the nail on the head. What are the issues now and how will they be dealt with? This is the same problem I have with Pschycologist they delve into certain grounds but do not know how to complete the programme and people are left even more messed up because these things take Gods healing.
---Carla5754 on 9/1/06

Spike, let's be clear. I'm 100% pro-marriage for Christians and 100% anti-fornication. I've clearly supported my views with scripture. I have not asked anyone to follow anything and CERTAINLY not a deviated path. I disagree the path God gave us at creation, and that Christ spoke of, is deviant. Some don't agree that God's marriage is valid and that only a license & certificate validate marriage. Fine. I believe God had it right in the beginning, but we'll just agree to disagree.
---AlwaysOn on 9/1/06

One purpose of a certificate is to protect ones assets which is the same thing you are suggesting with legal assistance concerning assets. I am merely looking for a valid point in your question and reasons to challange what is already in force. What difference will it make to remove the certificate since it has no power over Separation? What will removing it achieve? I understand where marriages originated from but how did that lead you to your position on certificates?
---Carla5754 on 9/1/06

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It's obvious you're not big on a marriage license. But behind the scenes is something subtle (not so subtle) that you're trying to convince us all to follow some deviated path. Are we being used for a college thesis or some other study? If you know 1000's of married couples as you say, why not be less private and ask them?
---Spike on 9/1/06

#1 Hi Carla, hope you're enjoying a blessed evening.

I didn't fail to realize that saved and unsaved people take this seriously. Quite the opposite as I believe that they should take it seriously (more seriously than a piece of paper). This is God's word, and His purpose, that we're talking about. Neither did I state that a marriage certificate isn't credible against divorce. What I did do was agree with your assertion that a certificate is no guarantee of fairness in a divorce.
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

#2 This conversation is not about urging cohabitation or fornication. It's about people marrying as God stated to do in Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-8 and if people feel this is valid without the state's involvement. The Word says that God planned marriage between man and woman from the beginning and He is the one who does the joining . There are detailed biblical stipulations making this binding. I don't believe that doing it purely His way is sinful at all. How can it be?
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

#3 [Quote by Carla] So where are you comming from for real [end quote]

Foremost, I'm coming from the Word. Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-8 all state that it's God who does the joining in marriage. We see the first marriage in action in Genesis 29:15-28. (Continued...)
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

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#4 Through studying the Word and traditions of the day, I've learned that "wedding" in the bible is what we call a "reception" today. It was not what made the 2 married, but was merely a celebration (same as what Jesus attended in Cana). This tradition didn't change between the OT and the NT, it's consistent throughout the bible. This is perhaps why there's no biblical record of Jesus or any of the priests performing a marriage was never in the original plan.
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

#5 I offered approaches to asset protection to show "legal unions" are not the only way to receive such. Not advocating another form of marriage at all, Carla. Since we're not afforded "legal" benefits under God's original marriage plan, some prefer to abide by His original blueprint yet seek asset protection via other means. Again, it's not the state that makes us married, it is God. The state merely offers benefits and we have many choices as to how we choose to access them.
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

#6 [Carlas quote] You stated that that act marriage involved sexual intercourse, So what would the implication be of all those that have had sex with more than one person before they married? Would they now be commiting Adultery if they are not living with the same partner they lost their vaginity to? What would be the clarity of this? so how would they have understood fornication, Or how would fornication be defined? Now it gets really complicated. [end quote]

Great points! My reply next
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

#7 Sex before, or outside of, marriage is fornication or adultery! It is all sin. This is one reason why God uses statements such as "Adulterous nation" even when talking about His own people. Thank God for Jesus who cleanses us now. This is also why we have to teach God's people that it's not about safe sex or responsible's about married sex, period! One man and one woman 'til death do you part is God's plan for mankind. It's the Word!
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

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#8 [Quote] Instead of taking away the law of marriage[end quote]
Hopefully you see my points are the exact opposite of this. I'm 100% for God's marriage & want nothing taken away from it.
[Quote by Carla] lets get into a debate of how we can best help people to stay married, how can we support others and show them the best way to begin to love each other as Christ love the Church. [end quote]
Gladly. Would you like to start the topic or shall I? Lol
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

#9 [Quote by Carla] This is more important and deserves communication of good sound teaching and how to engage the church into immediate involvement, something we need right now!. [end quote]

I don't know that it's MORE important (all of God's plans should always be priority for Christians), but I do agree that we do need sound teaching on how to remain in a good marriage that mimics Christ's love for the Church.
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

#10 If I haven't been clear in any of my explanations, Carla, please let me know. Remember, this isn't about shacking or fornication, but REAL marriage which is stipulated in the Word, bound by God and only by God. As Christians, its important that we understand what makes 2 people married and understand that the government's control of it, while it's an option, is not what makes a marriage valid. I am not speaking on anything that's not in the Word!
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

"What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh." 1 Cor. 6:16

You are joined as 1 flesh to every person that you have intercourse with. So when you have sex with a second person, I think that you are committing a grievance against the first or adultry. The New Testament tells us we can remarry after becoming widowed, but it doesnt say that about divorce.
---tofurabby on 8/31/06

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Instead of taking away the law of marriage lets get into a debate of how we can best help people to stay married, how can we support others and show them the best way to begin to love each other as Christ love the Church. This is more important and deserves communication of good sound teaching and how to engage the church into immediate involvement, something we need right now!.
---Carla5754 on 8/31/06

You stated that that act marriage involved sexual intercourse, So what would the implication be of all those that have had sex with more than one person before they married? Would they now be commiting Adultery if they are not living with the same partner they lost their vaginity to? What would be the clarity of this? so how would they have understood fornication, Or how would fornication be defined? Now it gets really complicated.
---Carla5754 on 8/31/06

So before you get on the wagon ask why I post what I said instead of attacking in my statement for a reason to reinstate marriage without a certificate and the use of some assets stratergy, business, if this isn't advocating some other way of marriage what is it? Marriage is complicated as it is. do you not think, without the implication of other theories.
---Carla5754 on 8/31/06

Making a step backwards is not the answer while you place emphasis on the name Christian I was faced with quite a few Christians that proposed sex before marriage and felt that this was their right to do so as ''At least we will be getting Married'' Yes born again.... spirit filled...., bible preaching so called Christians. So where are you comming from for real?
---Carla5754 on 8/31/06

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Do you understand that people who make decisions based on wisdom consider the fact that not all people think alike this would be like, so we can have sex without the ties who would know since there has been no acknowledgment or law to bind this relationship. Being Christians is no exception. I here your point... I just don't agree that this is something to advocate.
---Carla5754 on 8/31/06

What you failed to understand that these posts are taken seriously by both saved and unsaved people. So your notion of a certificate not been credible against divorce is negative where marriage is concerned, did you only pick out parts of my response to make your opinion on a marriage certificate more appealing or did you read that I mentioned that this was still no garrantee.
---Carla5754 on 8/31/06

You're so welcome, Michelle. Yes, God is awesome and it sounds like you waited on Him to bring you the perfect mate for you. I'm also pleased to hear that you've gleaned a few things from this blog that you find enlightening. Take care of yourself...and your new husband!
---AlwaysOn on 8/31/06

Thank you for the good wishes Alwayson! I appreciate that. God is awesome in having brought my future husband and me together at this stage in our lives.
---Michelle on 8/30/06

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I posted a question yesterday asking if anyone knew the history of the marriage license in the U.S. No one answered, so I'll tell you that it is a remnant of American slavery. In an attempt to track, deter and control intermarriages (btwn races), the license was created. As people began to migrate between states, it became more difficult to control and, therefore, the license became a requirement for all desiring a legal marriage. Just a little FYI for us all.
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06

In response to your statement about Christians being Gay, watching porn etc. A true born again Christian should not engage in such sinful acts. Somewhere along his/her walk he/she yielded their members unto the world/Satan. Christians take on the Characteristics of Christ and these acts are not that of a true Christian!
---donna on 8/30/06

#4 (I think) Carla,

I'm not advocating that Christians not marry, therefore I do not believe that to do so is wrong. Quite the opposite. Please take the time to read my thoughts again. The title of this topic is, perhaps, misleading, but I am talking about Christians having the exact same marriage as is in the bible and I do not believe that God gave us something sinful to mimic. The Word says, "What God hath joined together..."
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06

#3 Carla,

I don't think I have a hyped up notion of anything. I've learned a great deal about how and why God gave marriage to us. I don't see His emphasis in legal marriages of today.

Are you aware of asset protection strategies designed to protect people from the very dangers of which you speak? Unmarried couples, business partners, etc. have used them successfully for years. And, as you said, a certificate is no guarantee that a spouse will remain in a marriage, nor be fair in divorce.
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06

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#2 Carla,

RE: What are you trying to pull off now Christians now advocate marriage without a licence!

Were having a discussion where both sides have presented biblical and historical evidence to support their positions. No one is trying to pull off anything. Were all just seeking truth and greater understanding through discussion of the bible.
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06

Carla, I find certain comments of yours bordering on insulting, offensive and wholly unnecessary (e.g. What planet are you on New age marriges for the 21st century.) We've all respectfully represented our positions here. If you will agree to the same, I'm happy to continue the conversation with you.

To that regard, I've extensively studied this topic. The wedding in Cana was simply a celebration (much like a wedding reception today). The actual act of marriage involved sexual intercourse.
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06

Pharisee, Im a rather private person and dont post much about my personal life on the internet. I posted this generic question as Ive personally known people in these types of marriages and have always found the concept interesting. Prior to me posting, Id also had a discussion with a couple IRL on the topic. I sincerely hope you and Jack can get past this and I thank you so much for your thoughtful contributions.
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06

Rachel, I hear you. I can cite similar scenarios between people with licenses and certificates, however. Its always a sad state of affairs to see people miserable in a marriage. I think this comes more as a result of their own lack of understanding and commitment to marriage, more so than it does the actual ceremony they opted to marry under.
---AlwaysOn on 8/30/06

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Haha! You are sooo right Carla5754! Nicely said.

I read a poll there was a poll recently that showed 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. Additionally, 60% of women who confessed having "significant struggles with lust." 40% admitted to being "involved in sexual sin" in the past year. I believe the poll was done by ChristiaNet
---tofurabby on 8/30/06

---Carla5754 on 8/30/06

I guess this is really a NON Starter! ''Christians'' are now Gay, watching Porn, Divorcing and re-marring regardless of fornication, Drinking and getting drunk, smoking pot,swearing, backbiting, lying, gambling, did someone post a question are we near THE RAPTURE LOL
---Carla5754 on 8/30/06

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