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Pastor's Wife Is A Divorcee

Any comments or scriptural advice on being a pastor's wife, specifically when the "new" pastor's wife is a divorcee?

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 ---Deb on 8/30/06
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Jake. According to 1 Cor.7:15 Desertion is also a legitimate reason for divorce. A spouse is not under the bonds of the law of marriage in such cases and is free to remarry. Do you think that God would want a family to starve to death when the husband deserts them? I don't see that God would consider a lady who remarried under this circumstance a adulterer if she remarried.
---john on 10/6/06

"Moses did give the rules for divorce but not for every reason. Where did he get them from? God of course."

God gave rules governing pologamy. Does that mean that pologamy is ok today too?
---Bruce5656 on 10/6/06

Carla::Iguess you read Elders answer on Divorce.Mine is the same except to add IF God,in His mercy should overlook it is not for man to Know.That is His jurisdiction.That is why I used the term METHINKS--- not to be smart!!---The word has already been Fulfilled.His next coming is Judgement.
---Emcee on 10/6/06

Emcee Me can thinks, whatso eva, me likes, it's me's perogative to read the scrptures and be approved by God. IF JESUS SAYS THERE IS ONLY ONE EXCEPTION THERE IS ONLY (ONE) EXCEPTION.

He never said that he will back to ammend what is written he said he will be back to fulfill of the word.
---Carla5754 on 10/6/06

The past is the past. And if it is under the blood, then who cares about her past.
---Rebecca_D on 9/20/06

Methinks that God in His infinite wisdom & mercy set a limit on the case & causes of Reasons for Divorce & re marriage because we see that inspite of His sparse reasons man continues to flagrantly violate His law But He alone Knows the circumstances which vary in HIS eyes, not mans supposed ideaology which are numerous including a drop of a hat or his imagined suppositions.
---Emcee on 9/18/06

The Bible says that you can divorce only in the case that your spouse commited adultry and you can only re marry a person who hasnt yet been married or is divorced also because there spouse commited adultry. if you get divorced or remarried for any other reasons, then you are commitind adultry.
---jake on 9/18/06

Brother Elder, that was a great explanation on Mal. concerning devorce. I have had trouble with it, your explanation was well put and I will save it for my studies. Very important issue for many that are devorce.
---lisa on 9/15/06

Elder, amen to your lasr post. The judgment towards the divorced people in the church is a sad thing. If God allows divorce in certain circumstances, who are we to be intolerant?
---christina on 9/15/06

Carla what I am saying is that because someone got a divorce does not make them lesser Christians and God allows divorce for certain reasons. With the reasons that God allows divorce He also allows the innocent party to remarry if they want. Some Churches and people will condemn a divorced person until the day they die but will forgive the adulterer and murder so quick and then allow them into the pulpit to give testimonies.
---Elder on 9/14/06

Respectfully: Elder,
I have read the scriptures several times and I am but for a few books completed the Bible over a period of 35yrs several books I have re-read quite a few times, I really don't know what you are getting at?
---carla5754 on 9/14/06

Elder, We do agree. I think. Not everyone who is divorced committed sin by divorcing and/or being divorced. Unfortunately, today divorce is "okay" for any reason. Most divorces today are because of selfishness on both parties part. He/she isn't fulfilling my needs... waaaaaa.... What a load of hooey! God is the only One who can truly do so... and to look to another to complete or fulfil us is nothing more than idolatry.
---daphn8897 on 9/8/06

Hating divorce is not the same as hating divorced people.
All of us have sinned, and fallen short of God's ideal. Since we are to forgive others 70X7 for the same sin, does it not make sense that we should also forgive ourselves the same when we divorce?
Original post really questions those in leadership in the church-- who have more knowledge of pastor and wife than she does. Not good.
---JohnT on 9/8/06

I think the main issue here is not marriage and divorce, but the "law" which Christ freed us from when he offered himself as the payment. Romans 3:19-31. The purpose of the law was to bring us to Christ, Gal 3:21-25.
---Jerry on 9/8/06

Elder that is a very long and very interesting response from you BUT please remember, you said "I have never seen in the Bible where it says God hates divorce." Some people here pointed out to you that those words are there, not to interpret them differently from how you do BUT just to show you they are there.
---f.f. on 9/8/06

Bruce anytime you comment is fine and welcomed by me.
---Elder on 9/7/06

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Carla, read the book not just one verse.
Matt 19 says, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and marries another commits adultery. To divorce your mate to marry someone else is adultery, unless that first mate has committed fornication/sexual sin/adultery.
The person who is divorced because they committed adultery also causes the one who marries the adulterous person to commit adultery.
Cond #2
---Elder on 9/7/06

Cond #2
I Cor 7:12-15 says that a person who has the right to a divorce because the other person commits adultery is not under bondage in such cases. Many want to put these people back into bondage.
You can believe what you want but don't destroy those who have gone through this pain before and after.
Someone said don't bring emotion into this. Is not a divorce and all that leads up to it emotional?
---Elder on 9/7/06

I did not read enought to see that you had already expressed your opinion re the Mal passage.

Pardon my repeating what has already been pointed out.
---Bruce5656 on 9/7/06

" have never seen in the Bible where it says God hates divorce"
Malachi ch 2. God is not receiving the sacrifices of the priests because they have divorced the wives of their youth. God called this treachery.
We read: Malachi 2:16, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."
---Bruce5656 on 9/7/06

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If anyone preaches anthing other than what the bible says you will be preaching another Gospel one you made up because it suits yourself which is a cursed. So leave ot the emmotional drama claiming re-marriage for those reasons of abuse, drunkeness, violence,ect get a divorce you are at liberty to do so. Re-marry well that is Adultery according to scripture. Forgiveness is unto salvation, not an excuse to Re-marry.
---Carla5754 on 9/7/06

So if one is allowed to divorce for any other reason so be it, but to RE-Marry think again!. One can only do so if the marriage resolved because of Fornication Otherwise BOTH commit Adultery, if you do not understand thats fine you just have not grasped the understanding yet if not tuff. It is plain in black and white to read and study for yourself. If it was not so Jesus would not have mentioned verse 11 in Matt 19
---Carla5754 on 9/7/06

Jeues said because man were unwilling to accept what God originally said Man was hard of hearing why MOses permitted divorce. Christ establishes that in the New Testement andPaul go's on to stress that only death constitutes Re-marriage. I challange anyone to bring to the table where Jewish laws govens Gentile marriages, Jesus states accept for fornication and FORNICATION ONLY, can a marriage be resolved(my words) Except may suggest that one can re-marry, Paul states ONLY IN THE LORD!
---Carla5754 on 9/7/06

Those of you who have experienced divorce is welcome to jump right in and share your views.
God said He hated Esau but loved Jacob, Rom 9:13. So, what does that mean? Does God hate people and things? According to some He does.
The word "hate" is better
rendered "preferred." God didn't prefer Esau's actions and life style.
Cond #2
---Elder on 9/7/06

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Cond #2
God does not prefer divorce, but it is allowed because man is so hard hearted he will not bow to God's ways and won't allow others to either.
A person who is allowed a divorce according to and for Scriptural reasons is not under bondage of any sort. To think otherwise is to error and live under law. God has called us to Grace.
---Elder on 9/7/06

Many believe what they have heard not what is in the Bible.
Mal 2:16 the word "putting" is the Hebrew word "Shalach" and it means, "To send forth."
In Mal 2:11 where this passage starts, God said Judah had dealt treacherously, committed an abomination, profaned the Holiness of God and married the daughter of a strange god.
The message is to not deal treacherously with the wife of your covenant and youth v14-15.
Cond #2
---Elder on 9/7/06

Cond #2
God said He hates this "putting away" which means "sending forth" treacherously. This would be not caring for the health, welfare and comfort of the wife of your youth.
Have we forgotten the book of Ezra? How could God tell anyone to separate themselves from their "strange wives" and it be sin?
Would God tell us to sin?
Would God allow an action by a believer and then deem that action sin?
Cond #3
---Elder on 9/7/06

Cond #3
When God says someone is not under bondage can we then bind them?
Can we make them second class citizens in our little "Christian" groups? Yes, we can and that is what is sin.
What God has freed no man can put back under bondage.
Malachi could be applied to divorce in a broad sense but there were strange gods involved and people involved with them.
How could God allow and condone something then say He hates it?
Cond #4
---Elder on 9/7/06

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Cond #4
How could God allow a sinner to be born and then not give him a chance to be saved and call Himself Holy? He doesn't.
How can a drunk rape his wife, beat her while she is pregnant, commit adultery, not pay the bills, and allow his friends over to abuse her also then get Saved and become a pillar in the church, while she is kicked to the curb because she divorced him?
Cond #5
---Elder on 9/7/06

Cond #5
God doesn't want divorce but He does allow it for certain reasons. Under those reasons it is not sin.
If it is sin how do you correct it and repent?
Do you go back and remarry the person?
By the way I have been married over 30 years, 10 more and the Honeymoon is over, then we can start the marriage. We have never been divorced but we have read and studied the Bible.
---Elder on 9/7/06

Elder, "For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away". Malachi 2:16a - putting away = divorce. Jesus said the provision for divorce was because of the "hardness of your hearts," - which indicates sinful hearts. Scripture also says our hearts are deceitfully wicked. Therefore, it isn't a stretch at all to say divorce is a sin. It may not be politically correct to say so, and some folk's feelings might get hurt, but it is the truth.
---daphn8897 on 9/7/06

Elder, if you read Malachi 2 verse 16 in the following versions you will find that God does indeed hate divorce. N.A.S.B., N.I.V., N.K.J.V., R.S.V., and T.L.B. In the Hebrew the words translated as 'divorce' are 'putting away'.
---M.P. on 9/7/06

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daphn8897, I said on 9/01, "I also think that All divorce comes because of sin but NOT all divorce is sin."
I have never seen in the Bible where it says God hates divorce.
Again, the guidelines were given by God Himself.
Are we agreeing or what?

---Elder on 9/6/06

Elder, Anything that God says He hates is sin. I see no way around it. And that it is so emphatically stated by Jesus Himself, should not that end the debate? So, whether one sinned or was sinned against... sin is still there/the root cause. Again - NOT saying everyone who is divorced sinned in that process.
---daphn8897 on 9/6/06

Are you using this as a "scriptural pretext" for causing trouble?
The pastor was called to the church after examination by elders, etc, and if a denominational church, approval by the denomination. Why are you doing this?
The divorce could happen before conversion, or due to Scriptural reasons. Does it matter, since God has forgiven, and the reasons are accepted by those over you in the Lord?
---JohnT on 9/6/06

greetings,what will one do if the spouse decided to engage into paganism, atheism or evil craft in respect to pauls statements on divorce stating that there is only one reason for divorce?
---earl on 9/6/06

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daphn8897, how could your sisters divorce be sin if she followed the liberty and guidelines of Scripture? She was granted the liberty of divorce because of the sin of her mate.
All divorce is NOT sin as I said before.
Would God instruct someone to sin? Of course not.
Ezra 10 proves this.
---Elder on 9/5/06

Elder, I would be a bit more specific on this one. All divorce is caused by sin. All divorce is sin. But, not all who are/have been divorced are the ones who did the sinning. My sister's first marriage ended because of abuse and adultery, neither of which was her doing. I believe she walked biblically through the process, and when he finally deserted (left the state with another woman), ceasing all communication, the final "death blow" occurred. All my sis did was to put it in a grave.
---daphn8897 on 9/5/06

After many years of being divorced and remarried, I still don't believe that God sees me living a sinful life now. The first husband was a drug dealer, a pimp, abandoned us periodically, etc. What a horrible life!
---June on 9/1/06

Daphn, I agree that divorce is the "Capital Punishment" that "kills" a marriage.
I also think that All divorce comes because of sin but NOT all divorce is sin.
Sometimes divorce is the Spiritual thing to do.
Cond #2
---Elder on 9/1/06

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Cond #2
Moses did give the rules for divorce but not for every reason. Where did he get them from? God of course.
In Matt 5 Jesus spoke of cutting off offending things. He then goes into divorce. I think there is a connection.
There should be more forgiveness and life changing than divorce but when a mate refuses to change there is the "cut off the offending part" policy given by God.
---Elder on 9/1/06

2. I am not saying that everyone who is divorced sinned in being so. I don't believe a woman, or man, should necessarily remain where there is domestic violence. And, if an unbelieving spouse choose to leave... there is scripture covering that. Just want to say, because God hates it - it should be the absolute LAST resort...
---daphn8897 on 9/1/06

Elder, I agree that God allows divorce - but He also hates it. When the Jewish rulers talked to Jesus about it, He reproved them saying it was allowed because the hardness of their hearts. So, whether the hardness is selfishness while in the marriage, or foolishness/selfishness in choosing a partner, it still boils down to sin. Cont'd
---daphn8897 on 9/1/06

bob, no theres 2, the other is if you are married to a non believer and they leave.
---tom2 on 8/31/06

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Daphn, many think that God is against all divorce and any who are divorced. God gave Moses the procedure for divorce and how it was to be conducted.
We see the "rules" for divorce in Matt, I Cor and some other references. We see what must be done in order to obtain a divorce and why it can be granted. We do not see the marriage vows in the Bible.
Cond #2
---Elder on 8/31/06

Cond #2
People take mates that refuse to serve the Lord and they continue to practice ungodly sinful acts.
In Ezra ch 10 we see an example that the pleasure of God was for these men to separate from their strange wives v11 and put them away v19.
Sometimes it is the Spiritual and right thing to do. If it is the right thing to do then there is no "bondage" to the marriage any longer.
---Elder on 8/31/06

Elder, What scripture are you referencing when you wrote, "Did God ever tell anyone in the Bible to get a divorce? Yes, He did!!" ? and, what was the context?

---daphn8897 on 8/31/06

Jesus says there is only one reason for divorce Matthew 19:4-9
---Bob on 8/31/06

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greetings,there are several reasons for divorce,fear of death,drug abuse,rape,child molestation,beating,mental abuse,and domestic violence to name a few.does anyone believe that our Father desires us to live in a wicked domestic enviroment at the clutches of sinfulness?
---earl on 8/31/06

M.P. Thanks,I think as Christians we need to remember we are to win souls, not judge them. Love suffers long and is kind.
---Darlene_1 on 8/31/06

Goodness! Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
---Annie on 8/31/06

Sounds like someone should get a nose job and keep the extra part in their pocket instead of in someone else's business.
DIVORCE ENDS A MARRIAGE! It is over done kaput, dede and what ever word you need to understand that.
If someone has the scriptural right to divorce they have the right to remarriage and any service God calls them to.
But do others have the right to slander them?
Did God ever tell anyone in the Bible to get a divorce? Yes, He did!! So now what? Should He get off the Throne?
---Elder on 8/30/06

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deb, so are you saying that you know for a fact that her divorce was not biblical?If so theres a problem ,if not the question should never have been asked.
---tom2 on 8/30/06

It's amazing the number of people who post to these blogs have been married before.

The percentage of divorces among evangelical Christians is equal to the rate in the general population, alas, according to some studies.

Let's just say that the ones who have had leniency shown to them should NOT object when the same leniency is shown to others.
---Jack on 8/30/06

My comment is that we as Christians are commanded to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. It is God's job in the Holy Spirit to clean people up and convict them. I'm called to LOVE not judge or condemn them.
---Helen on 8/30/06

Darlene I agree with all you say.
---M.P. on 8/30/06

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Isn't it strange how God can forgive and restore and man will just keep on judging. I believe if it is alright with God that she is a divorced pastor's wife, then it should be alright with everyone else. God will use anyone whose heart is right and is willing ot be used. This is wonderful example of the GRACE OF GOD!
---Debbie on 8/30/06

32"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery"
---mima on 8/30/06

greetings,many churches expect pauls doctrine to be strictly adhered to,and this is one of the sins that the members do not forgive the other for.but remember that if one does not forgive then our Father in heaven will not forgive them.i have also seen where a church member was denied deaconship by being divorced.they did not forgive the best candidate for the this not a perfect example of man serving man?
---earl on 8/30/06

If the "new" pastor's wife divorce was on biblically authorized grounds (Matt. 5:31-32; 1 Cor. 7:10-16) she was free to remarry. Otherwise, she & he are living in sin, i.e., adultery.
---Leon on 8/30/06

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Are you saying that you were the pastor's previous wife, and how are you to cope with the fact that he now has a new wife who is divorced?
Or that you are the wife of the existing pastor, and an additional (or replacement) pastor has arrived, bringing a wife who was previously married to someone else?
If the latter ... I agree with Phil ... it is really none of your business.
---alan8869_of_UK on 8/30/06

My comment is: Dont judge.
---sue on 8/30/06

Did they openly admit that or did some overly concerned member of the body dig that up and gossip about it? There are animals mentioned in the Bible that go about digging up the bones of the past, chewing on them a while, and then burying them again, waiting for the next chewing frenzy. We are warned of them in Phillipians 3:2. Beware of those who move on their own soulish instinct. Their motives are probably not pure. A dog will dig up bones and then come nuzzle your hand for attention.
---Linda on 8/30/06

It may be that her first husband was into fornication. She may not even have been saved in her first marriage. I trust they have been forgiven from their past. I hope people get some details first before rejecting them. Depending on what kind of people are in this church, they may be in for a rough ride.
---john on 8/30/06

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Perhaps she was divorced before she was married to the Pastor or saved. In that case wouldn't all her forgiven sins be cast into God's sea of forgetfulness? In fact isn't all forgiven sins forgotten by God? Man looks at the outside,God looks on the heart. Judge not that ye be not judged,for with the judgement you judge, you will be judged. God doesn't call a Pastor to serve without calling the wife too.
---Darlene_1 on 8/30/06

The is nothing wrong with it, and it really know one business.
---Phil_the_Elder on 8/30/06

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