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My Husband Is Not My Type

My husband is not my type, he is very lathargic and lives life in slow motion ... I want a replacement. What can I do?

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 ---SAHAR on 9/8/06
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Pray for Him and for your marriage. In every marriage there are times when you feel you made a mistake. Pray for resotration and work on reigniting romance in your marriage. Start by changing your attitude towards your husband by renewing your mind through the word of God daily. With Him, ALL things are possible
---Paul_-Dennis on 10/29/07

He was your type when you married him. This man did not change overnight.What happened? You made the decision, now you want to change it.Are you a Christian? What do you think Christ says about this? Divorce is not always an option. Seek the Lord on this matter. Pray first. You can separate from him but you will not be free to remarry.
---Robyn on 10/25/07

A spouse can not be replaced like one replaces a pair of old shoes, the vows go: for better or for worse, If he cheats on you , and you have kept yourself clean, you can remarry though. --Mrs. Morgan
---Mrs._Morgan on 10/20/07

Have you lovingly talked about the fact that you feel too separate from your husband? The goal of Christian marriage is to become one. An integrated oneness. Is he a believer too? Then you should try every different kind of recreation that you can do together and also separate interests that will energize each of you. Then when you come together you will be energized for a new relationship. You will never change him but you both will change as you find new challenges.
---Nancy on 10/8/06

My Grandmomma was in a relationship akin to this. She stayed with him until she died. She did things she liked to do... involved him if he would participate... and LIVED her life. Sometimes she was lonely and sad. She learned how to love him for WHO HE IS and not who she WANTED him to be. She looked for things to do that made him happy too. When she started living, he did more but not as much as she.
---Amy9384 on 9/11/06

You can do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. You can stop wanting to live your life like you want to and start considering someone else for a change--like God. Do you think God wants you to replace your husband simply because he is not FAST enough for you? Stop thinking about yourself!
---Susie on 9/11/06

Sahar & Phila, I know that it is hard to be in a marriage that is not going well. I can not know what your circumstance is, but I can tell you is that if you married your spouse out of Love then God can give you back what you lost. PRAY, and if your spouse is a Christian then get God's help, for both of you. I wish you both Joy, and Peace.
---Dottie on 9/11/06

At the risk of sounding unkind,
Don't you think this is something you should have thought about BEFORE marrying him? Now that you are married, God expects you to honor your covenant with your husband.
---Crystal on 9/11/06

Sahar & Phila, I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time. It's just no fun, is it? I've had my share too & I want to offer you hope! Things can & will get better. You may wonder how I can be so sure. Go ahead, ask me.
---Geoff on 9/10/06

Maybe pray for yourself that God would help you learn respect your husband inspite of his faults.

Don't do like some do and start treating him badly with the goal that he will eventually get feed up and dump you so you can have your freedom. Don't do that.
---Linda32708 on 9/10/06

Seek the Lord with all your heart and soul...He will help you see your husband with His eyes and have His heart of love for Him, He will lead you. Keep thanking and praising Him.
---Christina on 9/10/06

Mrs. M., I did say ticker, didn't I. Okie slang for heart. Not as bad as, Ode da pius hode da doe fa mi. Would you please hold the door for me?
---Spike on 9/10/06

I understand Sahar. My soul dies a little more everyday I am with my wife. I know all the Bible verses that are being thrown at you and I know the pain of not having someone to listen. I married someone who changed drastically before my eyes. I just want to laugh again.
---phila4778 on 9/9/06

With this ring I thee Wed......
now he's yours until one is plumb dead.....
---wayne on 9/9/06

Sahar, after reading Spike's comments, I wonder if I understood the situation. I hope there's nothing medically serious happening. Be assured of my prayers for you and your husband.
---Geoff on 9/9/06

Many have written to get him checked out. But how 'bout you? Have you gotten hyper or been home bored? Did you marry and quit work too soon? Of course you didn't mention ages or medical conditions, etc., so we have no way to tell... May I suggest you both talk this over in a Christian atmosphere. Seek your Bible scripture on marriage. If you need more to do, get a hobby, a job, take in kids who need help. Be your husbands fast half instead of looking for life in the fast lane...
---mikefl on 9/9/06

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You can pray and ask God for eyesalve that you might see what He did for you when you were an alien and stranger from Him, what He does daily for you when you are lethargic in His service and live a spiritual life in slow motion. He wants a replacement too, but remember what He does for you, then go and do thou likewise.
---Wayne87 on 9/9/06

SAHAR your husband is not a computer that you can simply type in 'delete' he is flesh of your flesh, for BETTER or WORSE! Maybe your livliness depresses him and he gets lathargic, perhaps depressed. He needs to be checked medically, he may be missing some nutrients that he needs. Has he always been like this? Maybe he has some worries that he's not sharing with you. TALK!
---NV_Barbara on 9/9/06

My answer to your problem to bear because marriage is an institution undergone for anything it provides, remeber 1 corinthians.
---Igbafen on 9/9/06

Spike , you said ticker.
---Mrs._Morgan on 9/9/06

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Learn to love your husband.
** Pray for God to change his heart...**
While it is possible that your husband might be depressed, the main issue here is YOU and YOUR attitude towards him.
Did it ever occur to you that your feelings about him might be why he's lethargic. Yes, I'm putting some of the blame on you.
---Jack on 9/9/06

My brother in law answered to that description. He was clinicaly depressed and need bypass surgery. He still struggles with the depresion but the surgery got him up out of the chair and on the move again.
---Bruce5656 on 9/9/06

God says love your enemies (that includes husbands), pray for the ones who abuse you, bless the ones who curse you. If someone stikes you on the cheek offer the other one also. For if you love only the loveable you have done nothing. But if you love the unloveable your reward is great.
---john on 9/9/06

Have you had his ticker checked out? Have you made a doctor's appointment for him? Before you throw the baby out with the bath water, this could be a medical condition. Let a professional check him over.
---Spike on 9/9/06

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Pray for God to change his heart. He could be depressed and need therapy. He could need a physical. Get him to a doctor for a physical and then get a referral to a therapist.
---Madison1101 on 9/9/06

What can you do, Sahar? Praise the Lord for Him! And thank God you are different. How boring to have someone just like you. If there were two of you, one would be unnecessary. I suggest making a list of all his attributes & the things you liked about him enough to marry him. Then you might want to share the list with him and even "big him up" on those virtues. Most of all, thank God for those virtues & for him. It will work wonders in your marriage. 1 Timothy 6:6
---Geoff on 9/9/06

saharr,how long have you been married?biblically you have no grounds to replace him.
---tom2 on 9/8/06

They are no more two but one flesh.
Let's think realisticly here. In essence there is no more me and him, you're an us.
I forget which of the popes it was but he used to refer to himself as 'we.' (himself, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit)
This requires faith. How are you thinking about your marriage? "The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat." Proverbs 13:4 Prayer works.
---Pharisee on 9/8/06

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Pray for him!
---manuel on 9/8/06

SAHAR you have two choices;
1. You can dedicate yourself to the Lord and ask Him to train you to be the wife you should be. We can all tell there is something that needs tuning up in your life.
2. You can jump off of a tall building. That should put some speed in his step. If it doesn't look on the bright will be outta this marriage.
Choose the Lord and get your life right and you will see your husband different.
---Elder on 9/8/06

Part 2:
Replacement? Do you think that your husband is a faulty appliance that you bought from an appliances store that could be replaced while the warranty lasts? I wish to ask, are you a Christian?
---bebet3754 on 9/8/06

Part 1:
If he is not your type, then why did you marry him? If he courted you, then how come you were not able to observe that he is lethargic and that he lives live in a slow motion? I don't want to be mean but I am really wondering why you married a man whose life style is not known to you.
---bebet3754 on 9/8/06

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Why don't you slow down?????
---shira_9639 on 9/8/06

You need to get saved and pray for your husband. You do not get married to "get a replacement". That is horrible in God's eyes. What were the vows that you took? - "until death do us part"?
---Helen_5378 on 9/8/06

I just heard this tonight. If you have 30 pounds of differences before you are married, then you better have 30 pounds of flexibility after the fact. Sounds like you are on the flexibility end of this one.
---Linda6563 on 9/8/06

Was he in fast motion before you got married? If he wasn't, then I hope you didn't think marrying him would change him. The only real change comes by a heart bowed to the Lordship of Christ that works out in relationships with one another. Ultimately, when two are married, there must be flexibility in the relationship in proportion to the differences in your likes and dislikes.
---Linda6563 on 9/8/06

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