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I Want Another Baby

I really want to have another baby but my husband doesn't really want another one he thinks our family is big enough. This is causing friction between us. How do we find a middle ground. I can't see giving up a child I long for!

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 ---mommywithplenty on 9/15/06
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I cringe when Christians walk by what they see and can manage, limiting Gods blessings to meet their needs!

I have had so much blessings I can't physically write them here they just wouldn't be any room for other comments.

Who could it Be?

GOD!

---Carla3939 on 2/24/09


Calla:-Yes Yes Yes so true I come from a long line of Big Families and second your thoughts & words .He is the Author and Giver of life and Provides For ALL who trust in Him.Have your Baby God said increase and multiply He will Provide Trust miracles happen daily.
---MIC on 2/22/09


Eric Sheldon:-Your name excites the nerve endings of my Memory.If you have relatives like Felix (judge).Joseph (Dr) Maggie.Teresa amd Iris I would be pleased to open a window to which you may not know existed. My Mother was Mary Sheldon,daughter of Grandpa Mark.I have searched for you these past 50 years.My fingers are crossed as I pray.
---MIC on 2/22/09


Go have your baby girl!

This week MY GOD provided for me/ family in such a way Baby/mother bashers wouldn't believe it I have six no job because of the blessings I can go into business selling designer geer I pick up for a 1 pound Brand New!.

Food when you don't expect it came free from one of the most expensive out lets in Britain!

First of all you MUST believe Your GOD can and will provide, as your belief becomes stronger God rewards your unbelief by providing your needs he did it for me he'll do Greater for you!
ONLY:
If you do it out of Love for a child NOT gain!
---Carla3939 on 2/21/09


It seems you long for a baby to fill a void which is unfortunate many mothers never have interests outside their children ...due to lack of interest in themselves they become desperate to fill the void within

...when child bearing age is over still be faced with reality of void within you

hardest aspects of marriage to understand is talking ABOUT children BEFORE marriage NOT during

failing discuss size of your family PRIOR to marriage you are one who has brought upon yourself this misery ONLY YOU who can change your attitude

thankfully you are not like so many women who go behind their husbands backs having a child anyway becoming untrustworthy causing resentment and strife
---Rhonda on 12/13/08




I just can't understand what gets into a man to cheat on his wife like that. I hope you have learned your lesson.

Communicate with other people who are loving kind generous and caring towards their wives,

Men You got to learn to love the woman God gave you'll have to give account of what you did with the wife of your youth or old age if widowed.

Be more caring and show that you need to be the husband that she thought she married, be helpful towards her and the home considerate and mean it and hopefully you may win her over.

Think of it as a diet,it needs maintaining, you need to be positive reliable with your choices and that's for LIFE if you are to keep the weight off.
---Carla3939 on 12/11/08


you think you have it bad my wife says the same thing. i just want to try for a baby girl, someone to spoil,watch grow up and maybe some day walk down the isle for her marriage. its been 8 years since we discussed it seriously, i cheated on my wife she knows with a lady who wanted kids, but i realized my mistake need help
---eric_sheldon on 12/9/08


So many people here replied on a subject that you know nothing about. Unless you have been in the situation of wanting a child badly and having your spouse not recognize the pain, you don't understand. I find it funny that quotes from men who don't have maternal extinct can go on and quote the bible about submission yet don't add about how a man is supposed to lay his life down for a wife even unto death. Now being a father again doesn't come close to death I'm sure. People call her selfish yet maybe the husband is being selfish and wants what he wants. Sometimes men don't listen to their wives. Unless you've felt the pain of wanting a child and not having one you should show Christian love not condemnation.
---Karen on 12/9/08


If both of you cannot reach a middle ground I feel it for you because My husband allowed me to make up my own mind when it came to having babies I'm sure if I allowed him he would try to limit me with ignorance of the consequences of birth control but thank God he heard me out understood and let me decide.

I now see what a privilege that was especially knowing if I had to go against what I believe for myself, what a devastating effect it would have had on my life, our marriage.

Mentally I'd have been unable to cope and consequently would have divorced and remained single with my children. My own thought through decision.
---Carla3939 on 11/27/08


I say this because It mean't a lot to me to be able to make my own decision to have my own babies, I had worked hard from the age of 16 worked for 20 years during which I also taught p/time in Hairdressing Dept as a Tutor had 1 day off which was a Sunday in which I went to church.

Okay I am 44 now with a 9 month old baby but I am now setting in motion the equipment/ utilities to go back into business God willing when my daughter is in full time school and you know when you say God willing, God willing!
---Carla3939 on 11/27/08




The trouble with society is their farseness before marriade when are you going to get married you get married when are you going to have a baby, you have a boy when are you going to have a girl, If you have a child with a diability are you going to have a termination? if you have another baby when are you going to stop.......

Christian's if your ill you trust God, If you have to travel via plane you trust God, any other journey you trust God, to get a new Job you trust God,To have a baby obviously you should both agree to have children but then at what costs and it's a real shame when you come to a cross road, who do you trust?
---Carla3939 on 11/27/08


mommywithplenty
Why do you long for another child ? can you afford the added responsibility ? You find the middle ground by waiting for God to move in the heart of yourself or your husband. You should also evaluate your own motives about why you want another child. The worst thing you could do for your marriage is to become pregnant without being in agreement with your husband.
---pg1 on 11/26/08


It isn't up to your husband if you take the birth control If he does then It up to IM!
---Carla3939 on 11/26/08


AMEN sister francess
I have walked that path too.
And we have so many that want to punish the innocent party in it, too.
---miche3754 on 11/26/08


Marriage is not about constant happiness, it is about committment. We promised at the alter to love our spouse in good times and bad, for richer and for poorer, till death us do part. Doing God's will is the true path to true inner peace, happiness and joy.

Pour out all your cares to God in prayer...He knows your every concern, and will ease your burdens. God has a perfect plan for the perfect size of your family so just wait on him and trust in Him. All things happen in their proper time. It is good you are not arguing with your spouse but instead remembering to be patient and trusting in the Lord to do His perfect will.
---Anne on 11/26/08


The expression"what is the sense of shutting the gate when the horse has bolted"Here are cases of Husbands abusing the wishes of their wives and GOD.Why was this not discussed Before the Marriage.If a husband does not want a child he should not get married indulge or engage His wife.A case can be brought against the doctor if it was done against her will.I dont agree with Frances as 2 wrongs do not make a right.women should stop Birth control b/c this is where the trouble started in the first place .But it is an old man's opinion.A father figure.
---Mic on 11/26/08


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Thanks Miche. We live in different times, where the rules have been chucked out and only those who really believe in accountability, are being considerate of other people. It seems right to address the issue and not be afraid to take the bull by the horns. If a spouse becomes the enemy, then it is no longer a happy home.
---frances008 on 11/25/08


I like your answer frances.
So many Christians forget to be humble and honest that we don't have all the answers.
That we cant say we know what Christ was thinking when he said no divorce.
We have to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us.

Anyway, I really enjoyed your answer. Much compassion, sister.
---miche3754 on 11/25/08


Well, someone needs to give in on this. To have a baby is a very important issue in a marriage. If the husband does not wish to have another one, my opinion is for you to wait. Perhaps permanently. Some good news: your husband could change his mind, especially if gold reaches his pockets. Don't allow this to destroy your relationship, for that would prove a weak relationship in which case another baby you could be stuck with somewhere down the road.
---catherine on 11/25/08


Amanda, I feel sad for you in your situation. Your reaction is very normal. Modern technology has tried to give feminists freedom but instead it has punished those who are not feminists, and who want to maintain the natural order of events that God ordained. You could give your husband an ultimatum and if he does not agree that would be grounds for divorce (you would in my opinion be free to continue a family with someone who liked lots of children). On the other hand, you could make the most of your freedom and give more attention to the two children God gave you. Whichever way, don't make your husband unhappy. You decide but take the consequences. The next husband could be worse.
---frances008 on 11/24/08


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I feel your pain. I was pressured greatly minutes before my c-section with my second child to have my tubes tied by mym husband and doctors. I gave in and regretted it immediatly. I want more children, my husband does not. He is adamant about this. I pray for God to change one of our hearts but so far we are at a stale mate over this. My heart is actually beginning to harden against him and I harbor a lot of anger towards him. Any advice? Please email. Thanks.
---amanda on 11/23/08


Hey I feel your pain I also want another child but my husband doesnt want one we actually have a 6 month old but hes not ours he was from his first marriage and she left them both but since he has one he just doesnt understand but im willing to wait just keep talking and praying and see what happens
---Kathryn on 11/4/08


Hello! I am having the same prob! I love my husband and I want one more child to complete our family.He doesnt. I have not said a word about a baby in months till last night.He didnt respond the way I wanted. When we got married he knew I wanted 2 kids.Good luck!I will be praying for you.Let your husband know how you feel and tell him you dont need a response right now,just for him to think about it and talk about it in 1 week see how that goes!
---Emily on 11/3/08


MAMA with grace not plenty::A child is a gift from God, with potential for His purpose.It is unfortunate Your Husband cannot see it That way, if he did not want another, he should have abstained. Besides he has a partner who wanted a child. No use crying wolf. Keep the Blessing & tell your husband to pray for enlightenment.He will not regret as it is Gods will being done on earth.
---Emcee on 11/27/07


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I have five children of which 4 are at home one gone to University, and found that being in agreement is the best policy, I am pregnant again at 43 and the happiest mother for it but it takes two. Both you and husband need to get to a middle ground if he's not happy with another child understand sometimes it's not all about what we want but what brings a happy balance and pray about it!
---Carla5754 on 11/27/07


Fostering might be the ideal compromise between you and your husband--you'll get to raise a child, and he'll not have to worry about a life-long committment. (Besides, the state gives a subsidy for raising foster children, and that might ease his financial worries)

Also, if your husband doesn't want more than five kids in the house at a time (a reasonable attitude--he deserves some of your time too), remember you can foster long after it's safe to have biological children.
---Nancy on 11/26/07


I just wanted to add that after lots of prayer my husband has come around and agreed to have another one.
---Donna on 11/26/07


You are so welcome Linda... we all need encouragement as we speak/walk in the truth. Many may come against us, but I wish you to know that you are a blessing!
---Christina on 6/18/07


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mommywithplenty how are you doing?
---Donna on 6/16/07


Thank you Emcee and Christina for the encouragement. I appreciate it very much.
---Linda on 6/10/07


I believe you are right Linda, the Holy Spirit desires to bring us into one accord, and bears witness of Christ, to draw us into all truth. I find your posts generally to be spirit led, uplifting, pointing to the Lord. You are an encouragement and I thank you.
---Christina on 6/10/07


As with all arguments of this nature, The friction will stop when there submission to authority. If you don't like the autorities decision then pray that God will change his mind. If it's God's will that you have another one He will let your husband know. Until then, your husband is the authority in this area and God expects you to honor that.
---john on 6/10/07


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The first question you must ask in this debate should be do I really want another child and if I do what do I want another child for. BTW your suspicion about someone close 2 U is true. Pray.
---Raj on 6/10/07


Linda::I do not Hob nob with those who denigrate, or belittle, but always side with that which I percieve to be the Truth .I am in your corner& agreed with you as there is a lot of subterfuge going on & It seem the powers that be Do not want to eradicate & get a handle on it, to clear the slate ,by imposing stricter sanctions.Those at fault should be ousted.
---Emcee on 6/9/07


"Linda: This leads me to believe that there are other spirits masquerading on these Posts as you also have noticed as also some who use 2 or more names,I suspect.
---Emcee on 6/9/07"

Emcee, I don't think you were joining the ranks of those who have persisted in that same accusation of me, however, I will state here as I did on the other blog: God is my witness. He will take care of the rest.
---Linda on 6/9/07


Linda::This leads me to believe that there are other spirits masquerading on these Posts as you also have noticed as also some who use 2 or more names,I suspect.
---Emcee on 6/9/07


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Steveng, the funny thing is that is how I study. I don't imagine the Holy Ghost is saying something totally different to each of us. One way I can tell if someone is being taught of the Holy Ghost is by what they speak most of. The Holy Ghost bears witness of Christ, not the events in the earth. I made mention of the sacrifice, a truth seated securely in the heavens. All you talked about was events in the earth.
---Linda on 6/8/07


Jesus said, "Men's hearts will fail them for fear for looking at the things coming upon the earth." Those were Jesus' words, not mine.
---Linda on 6/8/07


Linda: Wow. Barna is right! (well, at least I think it was Barna) Most Christians don't know anything about end time events and prophesy even if it was staring them in the face. I think you better take a one year sabbatical and study the Bible without concordances, novels, Christians dictionaries and any other type of Christian reference book - just you, the Bible and the Holy Spirit. Personally, I wish there was a Bible without all those verse numbers. They tend to confuse people.
---Steveng on 6/8/07


Mom with more than enough, is probably getting ready to deliver another one about now.
---Leona on 6/7/07


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Steveng, come up out of the gutter.
---Carly on 6/7/07


Many women have expresed the need & desire of wanting to be a mother all over again.Yours is the call of motherly instinct.While your husbands cooperation is needed.Yet the will of God is a paramount item.Your willingness shows Obedience to His will just pray & wait, don't force the issue with your husband but reconcile yourself to,patience & the saying "theres many a slip between the cup & the lip.BUT God's will WILL be done.
---Emcee on 6/7/07


"...woe to them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!"

Wow. You can't get much more out of context or timing with that one. Jesus is talking about the tribulation that took place during that generation. Titus came and destroyed the temple just like Jesus said in 24:2 and those Jews were between a rock and a hard place. It was the end of the world (age) for them. No more offering for sin.
---Linda on 6/7/07


They either had to accept the once for all sacrifice or rebuild the temple to hold their rituals in. Wonder what they did with all their sins during that time. Jesus said there had never been nor would EVER BE another tribulation like that one. Read the whole chapter in context please and let's not use Scriptures like that to scare folks.
---Linda on 6/7/07


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Remember that Isaiah had a mouth full of "woes" too until he saw the Lord high and lifted up and the train of His robe filling the temple...and got his mouth seared with a hot coal from the altar.
---Linda on 6/7/07


Why would you want another child in this God forsaken world? For it is written "...woe to them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!"
---Steveng on 6/7/07


You call yourself "mommiewithplenty," but all you are doing is complaining that your husband won't do what YOU decide.

If you have "plenty", why do you want more? That's just greed! All you're saying is "I want I want I want."

**I can't see giving up a child I long for!**

See it. Now. For the sake of your marriage.

And didn't you long for your other children?
---Jack on 6/7/07


**When I look at my kids I feel like one is missing. **

Feeling isn't much to go on.

**We do help watch my niece alot so I know the ups and downs of another child.**

With this big difference: you can always send your neice back home to her own parents. You conceive and bear a sixth child, and you will forever have that responsibility.
---Jack on 6/7/07


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**I can't see giving up a child I long for!
**

mommywithplenty, all I see you do is complaining about what YOU want and don't have. So you get a sixth child. Will you be satisfied, or will you want a seventh?

And have you stopped to think about your poor husband, laboring to support you and the five children you have now? Maybe HE longs for peace and quiet at home instead of another baby crying and more diapers when he returns from his labors.

Or don't you care about HIS feelings?
---Jack on 6/7/07


You sound miserable today, Cynthia.
---Leona on 6/7/07


There is no middle ground. Either you accept the decision he has made or find another husband. Clear and simple. If you go ahead and have this baby, you will live to regret it. You want a baby for very selfish reasons(your own) Having a baby should be something both people should want and desire. Anything short of this, is going to be a nightmare for you both. Also: having kids these days is murder. You need to reconsider your reasons, as well.
---Robyn on 6/7/07


I was surfing the web with the same question. Holding someone else's baby doesn't fill the hole that the yearning for your own child, that you feel is missing from your family, would fill. I would not bug your husband but ask him if there are anymore reasons why he won't consider having another and ask God to help you both be in agreement. I sooooooo know your pain and I pray for all women in our shoes to have peace and to find joy in every day and to be content with or without. (((Hugs)))
---Donna on 6/7/07


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Mommy,

You need to go to bed at the right time...not before...not after...Just Then.

rachel
---Reiter on 11/14/06


I understand. Again, at what point do you surrender your desire? Not my will but Your Will be done in my life. Leave it at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ. I have watched couples become mentally and financially bankrupt. It becomes all consuming. God might have other plans for their lives. I'm sure you've watched this too, when they quit forcing the issue, a surprise/miracle happens.
---R.A. on 10/3/06


R.A. It is very difficult to adopt a healthy infant in the US. With abortions, there are few healthy infants available for adoption. That is why so many people are going to Asia and Eastern Europe for adoptions. And they cost a lot of money as well. Plus, many people want babies of their own, with their gene pool in the child.
---Madison1101 on 10/2/06


Kim, why can't you adopt like Sue suggests. I don't really understand how some couples deplete all their savings, 2nd mortgage on the home, etc., go through all kinds of medical procedures to have a baby. At what point does that become an obsession? There are so many children that need a home.
---R.A. on 10/2/06


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Dear Momwithplenty:

It is a BLESSING to be the mother of five children. Let me share my story: My husband & I have been told our chances of having a child of our own are virtually nil. What I wouldn't GIVE to have just one healthy child. Dear sister, count your blessings!!!!! My husband & I are even in our childless state.
---Kim on 10/2/06


Adopt a baby. I would if I could but my lurid past prevents me from adopting. Too bad cause I would LOVE to adopt a child.
---sue on 9/20/06


I wanted one little boy, but didn't get any. Be thankful for what you have now. Praise the Lord God for giving you children. Rejoice and be full of thankfulness for the children you have now. For those of us who have none, it is painful. God Bless you.
---Donna9759 on 9/20/06


I suggest you put your energy into the kids you have now, and volunteer at church to work in nursery. When I longed for another baby, and knew it was out of the question, I volunteered to work in the nursery at church. I got my baby fix every Sunday morning, while I ministered to the moms who needed an hour of Sunday School to feed their Spirit.
---Madison1101 on 9/18/06


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I urge you to consider adopting a special needs child if you want another baby. Take a look at the list of foster children in your area who need loving, permanent homes. Giving an unwanted child a home is proof positive that you love children.
---randy on 9/18/06


I have 5 kids who are well taken care of. I stay at home and raise my kids. We have no financal problems. We see eye to eye in all areas but not this. We are not on the verge of devorce nor have we had any "fights" about this. I do try my best to be a good wife and are fully aware of my responsabilities. When I look at my kids I feel like one is missing. This is the same feeling parents get when they lose a child. We do help watch my niece alot so I know the ups and downs of another child.
---mommywithplenty on 9/17/06


One thing that pleases God is when married couples agree. When my husband and I are at opposite ends of a decision, I pray and ask the Lord to bring us into agreement. It's a prayer He always answers because it's based on His will. (Matthew 18:19). I don't ask God to change my husband. I ask Him to change one of us, to bring us into agreement with each other. In other words, I am willing to have my heart changed should the Lord desire to do so.
---DoryLory on 9/16/06


I think you answered your own question with your name...'mommywithplenty.' Get a puppy or a cat if you want a little more responsibility. You can't go against your husband's wishes to fulfill some 'high' you might feel by being PG or giving birth, IMHO.
---NV_Barbara on 9/16/06


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Mommy::whilst Children are a gift of God yet it takes 2 hands to clap so you will have to get the willingness of your spouse & Pray for the Lords help.Dont worry about incidentals God will provide He always does "Suffer little children to come to me"is enough, do not worry Solomon in all his glory could not provide one such as these.
---Emcee on 9/15/06


I think you need to ask yourself why do you long for another child so much. Sometimes women keep wanting babies because they give undivided and unconditional love and that is what she wants more actually than the baby. Your husband is trying to take care of the family,perhaps it is big enough. Stop asking for a baby and wait on God. If you are suspose to have another,you will,in God's good time. Know this,God sometimes speaks to wives through the husbands.
---Darlene_1 on 9/15/06


Can you afford another child? God is #1, husband #2, children #3. You can't have 1/2 of a baby, no middle ground there. If your husband doesn't want one for various reasons, friction, why would you add more? You don't want to push your husband out the door. He is the head of the household, I'd listen to him. Start a daycare in your home if you need more babies. Take care of all the babies at Sunday School. Don't let your longings ruin your marriage.
---R.A. on 9/15/06


Many in the Bible longed for just one child.

Remind him how preciously concieved a wanted baby is, and how a grateful heart dies for these things.
---Under_Cover_PZ on 9/15/06


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Please, how many children have you got already?
---alan8869_of_UK on 9/15/06


You do not mention how many children you already have, nor do you mention being able to financially afford another child to support.
---Madison1101 on 9/15/06


Part 2:

Should you go against your husband's wishes, he will resent it and I can hardly thing of many things worse than not being wanted. Consdier, not only your husband's feelings, but those of the child. Again - don't be selfish. The price you may have to pay may not be worth the heartache.
---Crystal on 9/15/06


This is one of those things where you must both be in full agreement. Is your husband perhaps right? Do you have enough children already? Do you struggle to care for the ones you have now? Sometimes we give up what we "want" because we are adults. Honestly examine your own motives and those of your husband. Don't be selfish and possibly bring a child into the world that is not wanted by at least one of the parents.
---Crystal on 9/15/06


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I would tell you to entrust the hearts of both of you to the Father. He will either change yours or your husband's by either taking your desire for a child or giving your husband a desire for another one. Trust Him alone.
---Linda6563 on 9/15/06


You haven't said how many children you presently have, or what your income is.

What if it's God's will that you have no further children? Would you tell God that you "can't see giving up a child" you "long for"?

What BOTH of you need to do is seek God's will on the matter.

And that means not asking here!
---Jack on 9/15/06


Well mommywithplenty, you seem to ve plenty on your plate already so why do you want more? I am sure prayer and talking it through is the best way forward. One of you has to compromise, and that needs humility and wisdom.
---pkay on 9/15/06


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