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Pastor Goofing Off With Golf

My sister is married to a pastor. He owns a corrugated box business. Things are slow and he is not earning any money. He's the breadwinner, my sister is 5 months pregnant and very stressed. He plays golf all day and I feel like saying something. Is it proper to approach him? I feel so disturbed.

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 ---cris on 9/19/06
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Cris, how do you know this about your sister's husband? Has she been complaining about her husband to you behind his back? If so, then she has been a very unfaithful wife and has sinned by doing so. And you have sinned by entertaining it and allowing her to talk about her husband to you. You need to encourage her to talk with her husband and work it out, not complain to other female friends or family. This is how marriages get distroyed.
---Jed on 6/17/12

Yes, remind him of the economic problems we are in and then show him pictures of Obama golfing? Maybe he will understand that golfing fixes absolutely nothing.
---Jim on 6/17/12

hello,family!love ChristiaNet old blogg,yet,still relevent..don't we all know some married or wife "try avoid any responsibility!"?? I know a wife who is just out of this planet! She takes no responsiblity ...Found out fr experience the Holy Spirit good teacher...told me don't talk anymore you waste time...pray & keep praying! So,that's where I am these day either at home or at church praying. Love of Jesus!
---ELENA on 4/18/12

Mind your own business. Again......MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have nothing in the world to do with your sister's business.
Your sister knew what she was getting into when she married this loafer. She made her bed hard then she will have to sleep in it. I feel for the unborn baby.
But you had better keep your distance before you wind up a stat.
---Robyn on 7/5/07

Sometimes it pays to note the context of which it is heard; anger, bitterness, fear, sorrow...ect.
Approach the issue but be careful to avoid the other persons stance from whom you heard it, and be in control of your Spirit through the Holy Spirit.
There can't be any motive other than healing as Jesus did with a touch, ask him to pray with you about it. Then if he has taken a stance of assurance through grounded faith at least the both of you have agreed on it.
---Pharisee on 7/5/07

Well then say something to him. If you don't his eyes may not get opened. It should be his wife saying something to him. But if she don't I would.
---Rebecca_D on 10/1/06

Donna22, I've been praying about it. You are correct. There's more here than we know about. To ratchet it on down, does this man want a family? I mean, at all? Solution is simple, moral and rational. He needs a job. Does he want this family responsibility? Is he golfing to avoid going home?
---Spike on 9/20/06

Spike: They have a 3 year old little girl, and she is the most precious little angel.
---cris on 9/20/06

I agree with Alwayson. I doubt that a word from bro/sis in law (don't know which you are) would be helpful. In fact, it has great potential for starting a family fight or, widening the gulf between husband and wife. Talk about stress for your poor sister!
If you want to, help meet her needs directly. Not making money? Golf is very expensive, Something's fishy. I think there's more here than meets the eye. Let them work it out themselves.
---Donna2277 on 9/20/06

Kenneth Copeland told Jerry Savelle one time, "you go play, and I'll pray for you." Jerry couldn't. He had something very heavy he was going through, but Kenneth recognized Jerry needed a break. So he prayed while Jerry played and the blessing came through! Morale of the story: You never know what's going on inside a person's heart, so pray for them.
---Donna9759 on 9/20/06

Cris, bear in mind that golfing isn't free and a corrugated box business takes money (and probably a staff) to run. I don't doubt your concern or that there may be a serious issue, but I'm not reading that they're ready for the soup lines just yet.
Just my opinion, since you asked. FWIW, I trust your judgment and realize you're a lot closer to the situation than I. I do sincerely hope that, whatever you decide to do, everything works out for the best.
---AlwaysOn on 9/20/06

Yes, we should help ea. other. Never said otherwise. But it's not Cris' place to approach her BIL. A man leaves family & cleaves to his wife & the 2 become 1. Family has no place btwn. them unless invited or there's abuse. Cris' unsolicited approach may be offensive & may cause greater problems btwn them.

Marriage is btwn 2 people & family must let them work on their own issues. Pray for them, but unless or until they decide to seek outside help, others shouldn't get involved between the 2.
---AlwaysOn on 9/20/06

Sis, is this the first baby, or are there other little people to feed in that household?
---Spike on 9/20/06

SPIKE: I am the same way...I can't stand laziness....This has been happening for about 7-8 months...
---cris on 9/20/06

I really can't hack it when a man doesn't look after his family. I have low tolerance for lazy. Sister, was this a weekend deal or for months on end? I woke up this morning and thought about religious man with so much pride (years ago) who was out of work and refused to get assistance for family. Teenage boy died after few weeks without food. I realize golfer has energy to golf, so it's not that desperate. It's hard to fix lazy, they can become shameless. I hope this is not the case.
---Spike on 9/20/06

If he is a manager of a business and a pastor then I doubt it that he would be golfing all day very often. I went fishing "all day" twice this summer and had a very concerned lady approach me with her deep concern that I was neglecting the church with "all my entertainment" If I were you I'd check on the report of him always being at the golf course.
---john on 9/20/06

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If anyone does not provide for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Christians must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives.
---Steveng on 9/19/06

AlwaysOn: I disagree with your answer. We, as Christians must encourage one another, to help one another. If we don't do what is commanded of us, we, too, will fall. Read Matthew 18:15-18, Gal. 6:1, 2 Cor. 2:7:8.

Cris: Provide your sister with these verses: Prov. 26:13-16 (about a sluggard who always finds excuses), Proverbs 6:6-11, 2 Tim. 2:15, Prov. 12:11, Prov. 19:15, Prov. 20:4, Prov. 24:30-34.
---Steveng on 9/19/06

I have four sisters. All married to bums who have spent half their lives goofing off and not working. Go get your sister, feed her, take care of her. When the bum gets hungry, he'll go to work. Don't go through him, go around him. Don't cast your pearls before swine.
---Spike on 9/19/06

Are you married AlwaysOn? If your husband was indifferent, would you want your family to step in? Sister, 5 months, very stressed. Not good for mother or baby. These aren't neighbors, they're family. Sisters. And sis is concerned enough to reach out. 'BinLaw not earning any money.' No money, no food. No bills paid. Yes, a friendly chat with BinLaw is in order vs. a golf ball in the gazoo.
---R.A. on 9/19/06

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Have your sister talk to her husband about her concern. If afterwards he continues golfing and not doing what he should be doing (e.i. actively marketing his business) then she should bring two elders from the church to discuss the issue at hand. If he continues golfing, he should be demoted as the pastor for it is written that if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?
---Steveng on 9/19/06

Hi Cris!

No, it's not proper for you to say anything. I understand that this upsets you, but this is their marriage and their finances, thus it is THEIR issue to deal with, not yours. You have no business interfering in their marital issues no matter how helpful your intentions are.
---AlwaysOn on 9/19/06

Why don't you approach both of them and ask what you can do for them? Have you ever thought that your sister's husband might be stressed also. You "pinpointing" one of them will cause more harm than help. If you are not a solution to the problem then just stand back and don't add to the problem.
(Whenever I get STRESSED I just read the word backwards and turn to what it says.)
---Elder on 9/19/06

You have every right to be upset for your dear sister. I have sisters, I would lay on railroad track for them. I believe some are sent, and some just went. Meaning not every one is called to be a pastor. It can be easy life, no physical labor. Golf is a great escape from life. Spend time in prayer first. Ask others to pray with you. If you're married, take your husband, visit with brother-in-law. Discuss your love and concerns for your sister. 2 Thess 3:10 If you don't work, you don't eat.
---Rachel on 9/19/06

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