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How To Love My Husband

How do I learn to love my husband again?

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 ---Janet on 9/23/06
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I know it will not happen overnight. That I do know. Once you lose feeling for something or someone it is hard to regain that feeling back. But it is possible.It will take a lot of hard work and undoing some of the things that you have learned over the years. Changing your mind set and just almost becoming another person. A lot of work. Try prayer and marriage counseling(christian). And then, sometimes it is best to just move on. Start fresh with someone new.Another possibility.
---Robyn on 8/18/11

Rebecca, Love is a choice and an action word. The feelings are not always there. You are right to choose to remain in your marriage. You're right too in that it's not easy. However, "I don't want to be with someone I don't love. I'd rather be alone. I don't want to go the rest of my life in a marriage like mine is now." shows me something of what's in your heart. I'm not judging it, but suggesting you go before the Lord with all you think and feel and lay it down (at the cross). Stay before the Lord, allow Him to change your heart. Keep going back. He wants you to give it all to Him, your pain, your desires. He IS love, and where else can we go if we desire love? We love because He first loved us, it's ONLY through Him that we are able
---Chria9396 on 8/14/11

Everyone here seems to be giving very general advice. I typed the same question into google and this is the first link that came up. None of this is helpful. Not to me. Everyone saying things I already know but, it's not that easy to just do a bunch of nice things for someone you feel like you no longer love. You can't just choose to love him again. I have been married for almost 8 years and the last year and a half I've only stayed with my husband because I made that promise to God and because I think right now it's best for our 3 year old. It is a miserable stagnant marriage. I don't want to be with someone I don't love. I'd rather be alone. I don't want to go the rest of my life in a marriage like mine is now.
---Rebecca on 8/13/11

I don't know the circumstances, but I do know that The Love Dare has helped many, including myself. It gives a step by step process on how to love your spouse, and have a successful marriage in God's eyes.
---Debra on 6/17/10

You have not indicated why you no longer love your husband. I can only say that prayer is the key. Pray for your husband and your marriage. Pray for God to change your heart attitude, if it is wrong.
---Madison1101 on 9/4/07

Janet, without knowing your circumstances, all I can do is share one very basic step that I have learned. That is the power of giving. The Bible says that God so loved that He gave (John 3:16). There is something supernatural about giving. It causes anger to dissolve and even breaks down walls of bitterness. You can give openly or secretly. You can start very small. Just begin where you feel comfortable.
---DoryLory on 9/29/06

Actually, John, there is at least one Biblical reference regarding "learning to love." Titus 2:3,4 tells the older women to "train the younger women to love their husbands."
When a women feels loved by her husband (as Christ loves the Church), she will not have any trouble with this. However, when a woman doesn't feel loved or when she feels taken for granted, loving her husband can be very challenging. She often must "learn" how to do it.
---DoryLory on 9/29/06

The Bible says, we love because He first loved us. This is an example of how Christ loves us and one area where, I believe, men are blessed. Since they are designed to be the family leader, and are commanded to love as Christ loves, I believe men have a greater ability to love first. It isn't the same challenge for men to love first, that it is for women. Women are designed to follow their husband. Her heart is inclined to follow love. It's just the way she was created.
---DoryLory on 9/29/06

If there is a great deal heartache or animosity between you, perhaps you can do little "favors" for him in secret. Something like sorting his sock drawer or sharpening his pencils or baking his favorite dessert. Do something every day. Do it on purpose for your husband, whether he is aware of what you are doing or not. Pray and ask the Lord for creative ideas. He will help you. It won't take very long before your notice a change in how you feel.
---DoryLory on 9/29/06

You have to do what God has done for us. Wash away his sins.
God's will for a husband and wife is the joy of Eden, to be naked and unashamed. This nakedness has to carry over into an emotional nakedness or transparency as it's called.
Don't be afraid of past or future hurts, the Lord suffered that we might come to him and be healed. Be truthful, be open, and trust God to bless you for doing these things...HE WILL.
---Pharisee on 9/25/06

as we grow and eminulate jesus we should always loved him once you can do it again,thru jesus.problem is we rely too much on the flesh for discerning,instead of God.
---tom2 on 9/24/06

Rekindle that romance. You both have taken each other for granted. A houseplant needs daily nurturing and so does a marriage. Who makes a better HOME, a husband or a wife/mother. Wives/mothers have this God given gift of making a house a home, not just another place like an office, or a church, or a caf. Remember, man thinks with his head and women thinks with the heart. Also remember the old maxim that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. :)
---Steveng on 9/24/06

Be careful not to mistake bloom of first passsion for your husband for love. If you've lost that feeling it's not about love but physical attraction. True love goes deeper, it is being content with husband. Love may come first as desire but knowing someone helps people love many things about the person. If something against him,forgive. Love suffers long and is kind,love seeks not it's own way.Love gives not takes.Look at the posivitive things about him and don't build a life on the negative ones.
---Darlene_1 on 9/24/06

Janet, "We love because HE first loved us" Since God is love, go to Him, soak yourself in His presence, ask that He give you His heart for your husband and allow you to see your husband as He does. Only God can do this work in you, and HE IS ABLE.
---christina on 9/24/06

As you love Jesus.
---Lynn on 9/24/06

Husbands. This question wouldn't have to be asked by a wife if she felt she was loved in the first place. Lets make a bigger effort to show our wives the kind of sacrificial love that Christ shows His bride. It can't harm us.
---john on 9/24/06

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Jesus never told us to learn to love he just told us to do it. Even our enemies are to be love and prayed for, taken care of,and blessed. Whether we feel like it or not. But you want to feel it again don't you? God bless you. Ask God to help you with that. I'm sure He will. Meanwhile, do the love and trust God for the rest.
---john on 9/24/06

Simply make the decision to do so. Love is given without conditions. However you should expect your husband to love you as Christ loves His church. Love as the Father has commanded, by doing so you place your love in His hands, putting Him in control & if the Father be for you, who can stand against you? Greater is He within you than anything you sensual perceive coming from without. Trust the Father for the return of that love.
---Josef on 9/23/06

Pretend you love him till you do. Why do you not love him anyway?
---Rev_Herb on 9/23/06

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