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Am I Too Old To Marry Her

I am 43 years old and am madly in love with a 25 year old woman. We have been dating for only two months, although we have know each other for over a year. We became friends first. I have never been happier about a relationship. I welcome your thoughts.

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 ---PAUL on 10/15/06
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There was a 25 year age difference between my husband and I. He was my partner, companion, and best friend. The Lord blessed us with many, many happy years and two wonderful children. Our life together was a fairy tale. The sound of his voice was as if angels were singing and we loved each other measure. He died in my arms and my name was the last thing he said on earth. I only relay this to say that, if your relationship is of the Lord, you will be blessed beyond measure and the years between you are of no consequence.
---emma on 6/16/11


Crystal, if two people 'really' love each other, than changing diapers would be a small sacrifice, aren't the wedding vows to "love, honor and cherish through sickness and health?" you seem like an insolent, selfish individual
---Ani on 6/14/09


Depends on what type of person she is..if she is a person that does not require physical gratification by all means marry her but if she does enjoy that part of a relationship what are you going to do when she hits her peak and all you want to do is go fishing? This issue may not seem like much but it has a way of snowballing into other parts of your relationship.
---Michael on 12/17/07


It's ok. I myself find older women in general to be more wise and mature than younger women are.
---Eloy on 12/17/07


Listen to Robyn, she knows.
Now go find yourself a tin can and eat the labels off.
(Goats really do not eat tin cans, they only eat the paper labels off).
---BillyGoat on 5/26/07




many love to judge others. who cares what age someone is. it is only a number imposed by society. I know many couples that are very happy with a twenty year difference in wisdom. As long as they both love, support and encourage each other to abide by the gospel of Jesus Christ, that is between them only. There is one exception. if one is ninety and the woman is 18, it is not love. she is a gold digging wench plain and simple. she is only using him and will be judged accordingly. use common sense.
---ashley on 5/26/07


Mr 43 yr old. Yes---you are happy now but will you be in 15 years or maybe less years? You may be opening yourself up to a lot of pain and regret on down the line. It could work. God be with you
---Robyn on 5/25/07


Twenty years is a large gap.
---BillyGoat on 5/24/07


I don't see anything wrong with the age differences. After all, you two are adults. When I met the love of my life, I had just turned 29 and he was about to be 40.
---Kay on 5/24/07


Hi, Been there done that! I married a man 33 years older that me. We had 25 years of the most wonderful marriage a woman and man could want. We were very very happy! We loved each other and trusted each other and accepted each other and never tried to change each other. My husband passed away Oct 20,2006.
I tell you if you love each other, step out in faith and go for the joy that awaits you. Only God knows our tommorows but today we can cherish a lifetime.
terea4783
---Teresa on 11/28/06




NurseRobert, how many troubled marriage blogs here, from younger women who married older men - now, can no longer stand the old guy. Rose colored glasses and a large income have bridged many age gaps. Then there's the mind gap. "Ruby, Oh Ruby, please don't take your love to town.....Ruby, please turn around."
---R.A. on 11/27/06


Oh, NurseRobert, I see your reply today. Why does this 'age thing' always give you a such a big pinch?
---R.A. on 11/27/06


If it's for real & you two do get married, make sure you only work (1) one job! Seriously, this has been happenning for a long, long, long time, some with problems, some with no problems, weigh the cost. Age biologically is not what it once was even with children factored in, if you take care of yourself. Some will use that old inter-racial 'unequally yoked' line which can cause '(over)concern' for some. Wait on G_d! What does she & her parents think?
---bob6749_[Elishama] on 11/26/06


either way it is wrong if they are entering the relationship out of a wrong attitude. too me this deffenatly sounds spicious. Either way.
---Jared on 11/10/06


As Devil's advocate if this was flipped she was 43/U 25 would U feel the same? No judgment just curious. As Devils advocate what would your friends/family,say? I personally dont see anything wrong if U are on the same page since U are both adults,I presume saved. When I was in my 20's I dated a doctor 43 it was a very nice relationship but I was not saved then either. I left because I was sick of his friends/family treating me like I was just a "trophy" & I wanted something just normal.
---Jeanne on 11/10/06


age is not the only thing, there might be love here. But why is he looking at a relationship with a girl that is 18 years younger than him. did it start pure as in the cases that Paul might talk about, were they brought together because they had common intrests and ministries, or did he get tired of "older" women and look for a younger woman to idolize. Age isn't so much the issue it's the reasoning behind the relationship. if he can answer that then I would support the realtionship.
---Jared on 11/8/06


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Paul::We say age is not the difference,if love is strong.Practacality does play an important part& the decision should rest on the younger Partner.The "what If"needs to be explored& discussed & accepted,before a decision is made only because we cannot foretell the future.If all facets give a green light,I'd then say no impediment Go for it.
---Emcee on 11/7/06


I might be extremly attracted to a supermodel but it doesn't mean it is love, it might be that thing called LUST. which is probably more of what is going on here. that big of an age gap can rarely have much in common.
---Jared on 11/7/06


but he if he was truly in love her then would he really be concerned about age? If he's concerned about age then something inside him is feeling guilty about dating a girl that could physically be the age of his daughter. I would think more of you would see that.
---Jared on 11/5/06


No, not too old. If you two truly love/honor each other.
---sue on 11/5/06


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If you are asking the question then yes.
---Jared on 11/4/06


After 25 age hardly matters; before 25 'you' still have the 'college kid' in you.

Rachel
---Reiter on 11/3/06


If you love her, Paul, and if she loves you, then marry her! The Bible commands a husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church. You love her enough to die for her?
---Marietta on 10/19/06


RA, are you making this up as you go along?

Where are your stats that support your assumptions?
---NurseRobert on 10/19/06


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You do sound happy, the love endorphins have kicked in. One question, would you be as happy with her if she were 18 years older than you? Now there's the test. Most men wouldn't consider that acceptable.
---R.A. on 10/17/06


Hi, Paul! We are all anxiously awaiting your follow-up thoughts. Any comments?
---Crystal on 10/17/06


Thank you Crystal. God is a God of modesty.
You say you are madly in love with her. Are actually talking about love, or are you talking about lust, fondness or romance? If your love is true and she reciprocates it, go ahead. I hope you two haven't been commiting fornication though.
---Okebaram on 10/16/06


Age is not what is important. Love and a committment to each other and the Lord is what is important. I know several couples where the wife is much older than the husband or the husband is much older than the wife and they have wonderful marriages. Personally, if anything were to happen to my husband, I'd consider a younger one who could keep up with me!
---Susie on 10/16/06


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Paul, in all honesty, it sounds like this is more about lust than love. You may think you are in love with her, but I think you are in lust with her. 18 years is a big difference. Not only that, you've only been dating 2 months, that's NOT enough time to get to know a person. Date her for 2 more years. THEN make a decision.
---Donna9759 on 10/16/06


Paul, I've heard marriage counsellors tell people that you should date a person until you go through something very serious, something hard, something where it tests your endurance towards each other and THEN decide if you want to get married or not.
---Donna9759 on 10/16/06


Age is a state of mind. My father was 19 years older than my mother. At first it didn't make any difference; but, when my father became a semi-invalid she had to both work and care for him. My mother was about 50 when he died and she was still a young woman, but to worn out to enjoy life. These are things that need to be taken in consideration. Give yourselves more time.
---Norma7374 on 10/16/06


You're old enough to be her father! How does she feel about changing your diapers when you're 90 and she's 72? Sorry for the honesty, but I think it is disgusting. I wouldn't date a man old enough to be my father nor would I want one of my sons to marry a girl young enough to be his daughter. You just have to draw the line somewhere. If this seems less than loving, I apologize, but you asked.
---Crystal on 10/16/06


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RA, you are making some really big assumptions. How do you know that the OP wont be the one who wants to bungee jump or white water raft? I know a number of 60 year olds who do both. One I know retired at 65, then walked the Appalachian Trail. One 70 year old rides his bike 15-20 miles a day along the Eire Canal.

Age is a number, not a condition. Paul, if your happy together, GO FOR IT!
---NurseRobert on 10/16/06


That is a huge age gap. You being the older one, should you marry it would be not too many years before you start feeling the strain. Pray and pray about it first.
---Helen_5378 on 10/16/06


10 years fine, 20 years - that's a big gap. Will the lady be fine when you're 60 and she's 42. Retirement age, ready for golf, remote controls, lunches at country buffet. Will she want to give up bungee jumping and white water rafting? If all that is worked out, then fine and dandy.
---R.A. on 10/15/06


My grandmother was only 15 when she married granddad,he was 28,13 years difference, and their marriage lasted until he died,58 years later. It all depends on the mind set of the couple and their commitment to each other and marriage,plus loving enough to live by that love,willing to give to each other more than you take. Study-live marriage by 1Cornthians 13:4-7.
---Darlene_1 on 10/15/06


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