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Should I Grant Him A Divorce

Husband wants divorce. No known adultery. Refuses counseling; no accountability; states we are too different. He quit worshiping 1+ years ago. Refers to me as Bible banger. I don't believe in divorce and told him. I am guilty of anger, resentment and sexual abstinence. Is I Cor 7:13-16 my answer?

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 ---Miserable on 10/23/06
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Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28 allow remarriage. God desires that we live in peace. Pray for wisdom.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
---Glenn on 8/16/09

Don't Sign Anything. Let him go and do what he wants, but don't sign or agree to a divorce. Let him figure it out.

If the unbeliever departs, Let them depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. Just says let them go, doesn't say anything about signing or giving them a divorce. Let them do all that. Don't Sign Anything
---Jerry on 12/28/08

I am going through this right now. My husband left in Jan of '08 & wants divorce. I'm led to stand by my convictions and pray for him. Been fasting and lifting him before God. God can raise a man from the dead, HE is capable of raising my marriage from the dead. Please pray for me. Love is a commitment to both my husband and to God. Love is not about feelings. I stand resolute and will not concede to a divorce. Everyone around me tells me to go on and find someone else. I cannot. I love him and I'm commited to him and to what God is going to do. I praise HIM for his mighty promises in his word. I thank Him for the victory though I haven't seen it right now. I am waiting on the LOrd to do his mighty works. Please pray for me, I love him.
---Rowena on 12/26/08

Let him go. Put the ball in his court yard. Leave the rest up to God. If he wants the divorce it will be him, and you will not be held accountable. Now Biblically,because of no adultery was involved, you will not be permitted to remarry, unless he dies. >>My Grandmother had a similar problem. He divorced her. She would never remarry even though adultery was involved. I know without a doubt she is in Heaven today. I do not believe my granddad was ever saved.
---catherine on 6/2/07

Honey my heart goes way out to you. I am filled with grief just reading your post. I am afraid to really comment on this because my comment won't be very godly. I try to be loving in all that I say but this heel has done a number on you. I love you and I pray you work it out real soon. Be encouraged and stay close to God.
---Robyn on 6/1/07

Hello Miserable, how much love have you shown your husband? Are you just as guilty of abandoning him. If that is not the case, and you have been a loving & submissive Christian woman, and he still wants to leave than let him leave. Of course I do feel sorry for the children, if there are any.
---Ryan on 6/1/07

Tracey, I know how you feel right now...when you are left hanging does not know the real reason why your husband is divoricng you. Prayers is a big help the negative can turned to positive result. Try to recall why your husband became attracted to you. Try to change your image. Make yourself beautiful again. You didnt made mention how old you are.Try a different approach in your lifestyle.
---ana8864 on 12/12/06

Keep praying I hope your marriage is saved since this seems to be what U want from your blog. But in case the divorce does go thru remember there is life after divorce. Your not signing will of course delay this but if you are in America the 1969 no-fault divorce laws that were passed means it will still go thru, take a longer time yes but still go thru. But with God all things are possible and many people do reconcile, I wish U well.
---Jeanne on 12/11/06

All I have to say is that I am going through this exact same thing as you now and I am very scared. However one thing I do know and need to remind myself is that we cannot change their heart. We must be in prayer constantly and remember that God is rooting for our marriage. Who would we rather have pulling for us!
---Erin on 12/10/06

I would agree with Ms. Morgan. Do not sign any divorce papers but continue to pray for him that God will lead him to an understanding of the reason why what God has put together, should not be separated.

An annulment takes place when the marriage was not conducted in accordance to legal procedures; say a forced situation or performed without proper license,etc. Say you got married when you were mentally ill or under the influence.
---lee on 11/4/06

Tracey, You are correct about that "so-called" annulment issue, many have used that as an excuse to go against God's Word, deceiving themselves. God will help you, because you put His Word first(Matthew 6:33), many don't do that. I will continue to pray for you, and don't sign any paper's until you are good and ready, the TRUTH will come out eventually be patient(while keeping you eyes and ears open!). Allow God to flow His peace to you(Philippians 4:6,7). God Bless!
---Mrs._Morgan on 11/4/06

Thank you to all you have responded! I have suggested counseling and he refuses to go. I've asked him if there have been other women and he says no, however, he's not always truthful. I've been spending time in prayer asking God to help remove my feelings of anger and resentment because I know it is wrong to have these feelings in my heart. He now has purchased a condo and is moving, but has not filed for divorce.
---Tracey on 11/4/06

I'm confused by Lee's comments. Haven't considered annulment. I don't believe there is a difference between divorce and annulment in God's eyes. Annulment is a creation of man to get around the divorce issue. I'm just struggling with signing divorce papers if my husband procedes and whether or not I can remarry later in life.
---Tracey on 11/4/06

What is the difference between getting a divorce and getting an annulment?

In all countries of the world, save one -the Philippines - one can get a divorce but there one must get an annulment. I really see no difference as either way the marriage is dissolved.

Sometimes it is a matter of simple justice!
---lee on 10/28/06

Marriage is till death do you part! Divorce is man made! Jesus said put him or her away for adultery! meaning separate not terminate. Even if you go through with the process, your marriage is still legal with god! pray for him,stay steadfast, take the time to let the lord clean you up.
---John on 10/27/06

I hate to write again, but you confessed anger and resentment for your husband.

This needs to be gone or you could be deceived by the Devil and miss God's joy and fullness. Be very careful about the spirit in which you proceed.

Stay true to the sadness you feel, and don't let it again turn to anger.
---Pharisee on 10/24/06

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(I.)Many have misinterpreted (I Cor 7:13-16), making excuses for themselves and other's to remarry without biblical grounds, which is adultery or death. One can't live for another, if he doesn't listen to your words of Truth,of godly reason, just pray for him(I Cor 7:16,17).You should let him do what he wants...
---Mrs._Morgan on 10/24/06

(II.) ... in regard to yourself, remain "True to God". If the unbelieving depart, let him, draw on God's peace dear one. But, you must keep yourself clean, and still honor your vows that you made before God. If he commits adultery, you are free to remarry ,that is your choice to make. Be prayerful about it, put it in God's hands and close the case(Philippians 4:6-8)(2 Corinthians 12:9). God Bless, I will pray for the both of you.
---Mrs._Morgan on 10/24/06

(III.) In regard to your question, should you grant him a divorce? No, it isn't what you want to do, the bond's of marriage still exist(no adultery has taken place) he wants to "call all the shots", you are not "his puppet", let him do what he wants, and then act, accordingly, using "godly wisdom". Ask him if he has been with anyone, and ask him if he plans on being with someone, You deserve to know this.
---Mrs._Morgan on 10/24/06

Sounds like you two could use a marriage counsellor. There is something going on deep down inside of your husband, he wants a divorce, he's refusing counselling, he quit worshipping. Either ask him why he quit worshipping or go to a marriage counsellor and sort this all out. A man doesn't just quit worshipping because he doesn't want to, it's usually something distracting him or subtly drawing him away from God. Go to counselling, ask him to go with you, if he doesn't, you go alone.
---Donna9759 on 10/24/06

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It would not be Christ-like to keep an unbeliever in a marriage he does not want to be in. That is in deed the passage I was thinking of in replying to this.
---laure5759 on 10/24/06

However, my sister once had a friend who was in a similar situation. She advised her friend to stop being too involved in Church activities, and to rather spend time with her husband. Even to stop referring to the Bible in conversation - but to pray continually. Their marriage was repaired, and they are now regular church-goers. You can message me if you want to know more.
---laure5759 on 10/24/06

You're not a Bible banger, your one of the few Jesus talks about who walk the narrow road leading to life.

Indeed, if the Heathen departs let him go. It's easy to fake being saved, people do it all the time, but how can we be sure?

Only God can tell you how to proceed, so wait on HIS answer until you are SURE of what it is. Start by confessing all known sin to God, stop being miserable, and realize that no matter what the world does God is in control.
Just tell hubby you can't decide yet.
---Pharisee on 10/24/06

At this time, you are unequally yoked. Keep 'banging' your Bible. Don't give up, and don't let fear enter in. Knock on heaven's door with fasting and prayer. Get some of your bible banging prayer partners to agree with you in prayer (pastor, pastor's wife). Storm the heavenlies and don't give up on your marriage.
---R.A. on 10/23/06

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Ask God what His will in your life is..Obviously a loving Father does not want us to live a Hell on earth.. Get out, you deserve the best as a child of the King.
---Lynn on 10/23/06

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