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What Is The Grieving Process

I would like to hear your thoughts and ideas on the grieving process when a loved one dies. What are the stages? What can we say to someone to help them through? How can we comfort them? Is there a good book you can recommend?

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 ---Donna9759 on 12/11/06
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It really all depends on whether they were a Christian or not. If yes, then I think the grieving process is easier.
---emelia on 2/21/07


Donna 9759, God does let people see part of the things concerning heaven. I prayed three times for a friend who was at deaths door the first and second time I prayed God showed me a marble staircase going up into heaven. There were angels of all sizes standing on the sides of the stairs singing.My friend was a singer too,mighty for God. The third time I prayed the staircase was empty. Found out third time was after friend had died. Angels welcomed her home.
---Darlene_1 on 12/19/06


Donna 9759, God does let people see part of the things concerning heaven. I prayed three times for a friend who was at deaths door the first and second time I prayed God showed me a marble staircase going up into heaven. There were angels of all sizes standing on the sides of the stairs singing.My friend was a singer too,mighty for God. The third time I prayed the staircase was empty. Found out third time was after friend had died. Angels welcomed her home.
---Darlene_1 on 12/19/06


Why doesn't Father God do something special for His children and remove the grieving process from us all together? He could do it by giving us a glimpse of heaven? Showing us that our relatives are up there and they're happy to be there. That they think of us, and wish we were there too. Why doesn't Father God give us a glimpse of what's going on in heaven with our loved ones?
---Donna9759 on 12/14/06


** Jack, you made a very good point (for once..lol, just kidding). But I am just so sick and tired of going through painful stuff. I know Jesus was "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" but do we have to be also?**

Is the disciple greater than her Master, Donna?

In all our griefs, He is there with us, through them--though we may not feel like it at a given moment.
---Jack on 12/13/06




Jack, you made a very good point (for once..lol, just kidding). But I am just so sick and tired of going through painful stuff. I know Jesus was "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" but do we have to be also?
---Donna9759 on 12/13/06


**Jack, what if a person isn't in denial, isn't angry, doesn't want to bargain and realizes the person's death was God's will...**

Etc.

I'm not a grief expert. Maybe the tears are part of either anger or depression (which has been defined as rage turned inward).

Maybe you need to allow yourself to be a human being and feel your emotions and admit they are there?
---Jack on 12/13/06


Madison, (((huggs)))). I realize death is such a stinger and hurts us so deeply. I'm so very sorry about your brother. I can imagine how much you miss him and I'm truly sorry. You know, my mother's birthday is Dec 29th, and I know how hard it will be if she passes near or on Christmas or her BD. My heart goes out to you. Tks everyone
---Donna9759 on 12/13/06


Donna: I have been going through the grieving process since my brother's death, almost 2 months ago. To add to the hurt, his 41st birthday is tomorrow, the 13th of December. I have experienced all of it, but have not reached acceptance. I am told, that comes with time. In the meantime, I cry, and miss him terribly.
Hugs,
Madison
---Madison1101 on 12/12/06


Jack, what if a person isn't in denial, isn't angry, doesn't want to bargain and realizes the person's death was God's will, but yet they can't stop crying and hurting over them not being with them anylonger, how do you go directly to acceptance? How can you get your will and emotions to line up with acceptance?
---Donna9759 on 12/12/06




Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance: the five stages of grief. (There was a comedy sketch based on a law firm named this.)

A book dealign with these stages is HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE, which incorporates poems from COME LOVE WITH ME AND BE MY LIFE.

Almost all losses, being a job, hopes, or a love one pass through these sages.
---Jack on 12/12/06


First comes denial of the loss,numbness sets in during early grieving and is what helps a person get through. It isn't unusual for the person then to experience anger that loved one left them behind. Depression sets in with realization they really are gone. Acceptance begins to take hold and the person learns to deal with the loss. All of the stages are made easier when a person leans on God to help see them through and adjust to being alone,if they are. All you can say, I'm so sorry for your loss.
---Darlene_1 on 12/11/06


The Bible, read the Psalms. Other written words will not bring comfort like the inspired Word of God. The 'stages' are the world's interpretation of grief. If your loved one knows Jesus as their Savior, you will grieve as any human would; but the process will not go on for months and years on end. The Holy Spirit is the Comforter, He will help you bypass the stages.
---R.A. on 12/11/06


Donna, there is an abnormal spirit of grief. When you move into severe depression, can't function, etc. Medical attention (along with pastoral/Christian support) to pull someone out of a deep dark hole should be pursued.
---R.A. on 12/11/06


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