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Should I Pursue This Man

I met a man on another site, seems to be a very committed Christian and his love for the Lord shows in every conversation. I have 3 children he says he will love as his own. He seems to be everything I would want in a Christian man to lead my family. Should I pursue this relationship?

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 ---Angela on 12/14/06
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Being single after a divorce WILL make you a better parent. However, you will not be alone because GOD will be your spouse. Ask most children themselves. When the parent remarries, they not only have to deal with divorce but the attention they are no longer getting beause of the remarriage. Second marriages have an 80% chance of divorce and then the whole process starts over.
---Kandace on 1/25/08

there8746 - Ok, i sent you an email.
---Angela89 on 2/1/07

I like the "NO" answer.
It's so concise and to the point.

---anonymous on 2/1/07

He sounds great, but there must be something you've not mentioned in your post. You wouldn't be having these doubts if your conscience weren't trying to tell you something is wrong. Write me with more details and I'll do my best to help you. I am a volunteer here.
---there8746 on 1/31/07

The answer is NO.
---CATHERINE on 1/31/07

What is a "B" dancer?
---lynet on 1/31/07

I'll wait on R.
---Ang. on 1/30/07

Angela - what do you mean by a B. dancer and why do you think Rahel is one?
---Angela89 on 1/30/07

Rahel? Are you still here? I have a question for you.

Are you a B. dancer?
---Angela on 1/29/07

shelby - I met him on the internet then after emails and talking on the phone for 2 months we met in person in a public place.
---Angela89 on 1/29/07

When you say you met him, do you mean in person or just through the internet?

Even well meaning Christian men can have 'issues' needing attention. You must INSIST on PASTORIAL counsel with the two of you as well as separate. Your Pastor is the one who has to give an account for your soul to God, so give him/her the opportunity to help you make the right decision. If still unsure in your heart, fast and pray for a week, God will talk to you!
---Shelby on 1/26/07

I used to reply to the males requesting my email address with the Gospel! Now, because of time, I just delete them. Either way, I never hear from them again.
---Helen_5378 on 1/26/07

Pat....If you are female, you may email me....Susie6997
---Susie on 1/25/07

I know what you are talking about...I have had a few men give me their email address and want mine but I told them I don't just give it out to anyone and would need to know more about them. Their only reply was to ask for my email address again. I don't think so!
---Angela89 on 1/24/07

"Personally, I would like to make friends on the penpal site, both male and female, but it seems everyone that writes to me wants me to write to their regular email address and I am not comfortable with that. What say you?? I would like your thoughts."

Pat, I know what you mean. I've had a few men on the penpal site to give me their personal email addresses and I just don't feel comfortable with that. If they want to chat they'll just have to use the penpal email. Amen?
---Kay6588 on 1/24/07 Angela...don't pursue him..but if you wish...give signals that you are open to taking a step into the future with him.

---Rahel on 1/20/07

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Hello... Hello... is anyone there???
---MePat on 1/20/07

Personally, I would like to make friends on the penpal site, both male and female, but it seems everyone that writes to me wants me to write to their regular email address and I am not comfortable with that. What say you?? I would like your thoughts.
---Pat on 1/19/07

Ralph, Thanks for the update. I understand about the mailbox thing... I've had to send many replies saying, "Thank you, but I'm not on this site for that reason..." So,see you on the blogs dear brother.
---daphn8897 on 1/18/07

Hey Daphne. I originally thought I had to join the penpal portion in order to blog. When I discovered that was not the case, I ended the penpal membership as my mailbox seemed to be a depository for advertisements and form letters from women looking for who knows what. I kept my name the same because there is already somebody who goes by just Ralph.
---ralph7477 on 1/17/07

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Hey Ralph, Was going to send you a note... said you're no longer a member. Did you change your ID or are you just on the blogs?
---daphn8897 on 1/17/07

ralph7477 - You really think you know it all don't you...being a committed Christian is VERY important but love is also VERY important in a relationship. If you don't feel a real love toward someone, Christian or not, you have no business moving on toward marriage or it will only lead to heartache later. It is better to end it early before there is more hurt on both sides.
---Angela89 on 1/17/07

Gee, big surprise. I thought this was all about the fact that he was a committed Christian who loves the Lord. A man to love the children and lead the family. Nah...turns out to be all about Angela which is all it has ever been about. Now that this poor gentleman's time has been thoroughly wasted, perhaps Angela will take my original advice and instead of interviewing men, redirect all that time and energy toward raising her 3 children.
---ralph7477 on 1/17/07

daphn8897 - Thanks for your comments. I emailed him and told him how I felt and he called last night. We talked for almost an hour and agreed to remain friends, maybe get togther once a month or so. We'll see if the Lord and the future holds anything more for us than friendship. It is in the Lord's hands.
---Angela89 on 1/17/07

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Angela, "Sparks and chemistry" are overrated. You were both nervous and probably not at your best. I know several couples who started with seemingly no spark or chemistry.... but God. They built their relationship as a friendship, and as they really got to know each other... then a seeming small ember began to glow... One couple in particular just celebrated their 3rd anniversary and the 1st b-day of their son. I am in awe how God works... not limited to our "cultural" understanding.
---daphn8897 on 1/16/07

There's your answer. There were no sparks or chemistry and that is something that cannot be faked nor is it something that you can learn to have for someone.
---ljt on 1/16/07

(2) I need to tell him how I feel but I'm not sure how to do so without hurting him. He does seem to have feelings for me but it is not right to have a relationship that is one sided
---Angela89 on 1/16/07

(1) Just to update you all...I met him for lunch this past Saturday. He was just as sweet and caring in person as on the phone and in emails but there just wasn't any spark or chemistry.
---Angela89 on 1/16/07

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Congrats! Be cautious. Meet only after many e-mails/phone calls. Then introduce him to family (parents, siblings), best friends, church (pastor, etc.)--but not your children--yet. If they get attached and you and he break-up, they will be hurt. He may not be as he seems or do as he says--you must protect your children and yourself). Pray,listen to any quiet, small voices--pay attention to all red flags (i.e. rushing you)!! If this is who God has for you, may He guide you and bless the relationship.
---helen3883 on 1/15/07

A relationship that begins on the internet isn't a whole lot different than any other kind. You must proceed with caution.
---ljt on 1/14/07

My daughter just married someone we met on the internet.We wrote on another blog and got to him a bit, then we called on the phone, then we mailed, then we met.He's from England,his parents are retired pastors still working in the ministry.He has moved here.He is working for in our carpentry business.Its miraculous how it all came to be.Everyone we know is shocked and amazed.Don't be so quick to 'box' God in.
---chestnut_burr on 1/14/07

Please understand that this was one and half years in the making.It didn't happen over night.He has a bro. who we got to know at the same time and he has asked for my other daughters hand.The wedding is to be at the end of July.Everyone was together for the wedding this week.His family was here for 2 weeks,they are just wonderful,loving,down to earth,just like us ppl.!We feel as if we've known each other forever.Again,don't be so quick to rule net relationships out.
---chestnut_burr on 1/14/07

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Angela, you are doing so many things correctly, responsibly and patiently.

I was wrong in assuming that this was a "rush job". Please forgive that.

Can you get a copy of that personality report? If not, then web search "please understand me" ot "Myers-Briggs Temperament Analysis" to see of you can get a copy of your personality, and have fiance do the same. Then discuss together each other's results.

Blessings on your seeking a mate God's way!
---John_T on 1/14/07

Yes, there have been horror stories of people meeting on the internet, but there are also horror stories of people meeting their mate in their own church. There are many sexual preditors that are in youth/child ministries or work with singles groups tht prey on single moms. I have been a widow for almost 13 years. While I am content in this, I still, at times, long to have that male companion by my side to share the senior years of my with with. Put your trust in G-d.
---Phyllis on 1/14/07

I would never get into a relationship with a person I met on the internet. Haven't you read the horror stories?

---Melva on 1/14/07

John T - I did go on eHarmony once a few months ago and filled out the long list of personality questions but it said they didn't have anyone that would be a good match for me and try again another time.
---Angela89 on 1/13/07

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Angela wrote: My 2 closest friends have talked to him and asked him specific questions. YESSSS!

In the multitude of counselors, there is wisdom. I assumed that this was not the case, so it is good that you are cautious, and using good friends who care for you.

However, as a further precaution, I stick to my recommendation about eHarmony, and also recommend that you both get premarital counseling together.
---John_T on 1/12/07

His life is centered around serving the Lord and we have talked about our goals and keeping the Lord first in our life and when you can truly put the Lord first everything else will fall into place. And no, I don't believe God's will is for me to stay single.
---Angela89 on 1/12/07

Thank you all for your concern. My 2 closest friends have talked to him and asked him specific questions. They liked what they heard from him and we plan to spend time with my friends and their husbands so they can get to know him better.
---Angela89 on 1/12/07

You must know that he is a believer and a mature one to take the responsibility of a family...Perhaps you can introduce him to some of your friends who may be able to help with discernment.
Are you personally convicted that the Lord wants you to marry?
In a bilical sense, let the man pursue and let the Lord direct your path. Wait for Him. Commit this to the Lord. He alone knows what is best for you
---Edmond on 1/11/07

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Good advice John T.
eHarmony is confidential, and from what I've heard works quite well. Actually Angela what we are advising is that you be as certain as you can be that this is the right move for you, and your family.
---Lynet on 1/12/07

Angela, just remember not to be unequally yoked means to be like minded. It is important that you have the same goals, i.e.... God first, each other second, family third, others fourth, yourself last. I will pray for you.
---faye4464 on 1/11/07

I am an intuitive, and I sense things. When I get that feeling, I usually say so.

The parts that gave me the feeling were the 3 kids that "he WILL love" and "he is everything..."

You seemed to be anxious to have a good companion because you "KNOW" what he will do in the future, and may not have met the kids.

Take your time, take the FREE personality quiz on eHarmony. Please do not rush. I reserve the right to be wrong, and haste makes messes.
---John_T on 1/11/07

Faye4464 - Thank you for your comments. I have prayed about this relationship and have asked God to show me if this relationship, in any way, is the wrong direction for me to go in. I don't plan on rushing to the altar, I made that mistake the first time.
---Angela89 on 1/11/07

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John T - What vulnerability do you see in my posts? I am just curious and would like an honest answer.
---Angela89 on 1/11/07

I believe that when your heart, your mind, and your relationship with the Lord are all working together, the answer will be given to you from the Lord. Be still and listen. And God Bless You Richly!
---Pat on 1/10/07

I miswrote. Here is what I meant:

Dr. Neil Clark Warren is Chairman and co-founder of the online dating service eHarmony. He is the former dean and psychologist at Fuller Theological Seminary. Dr. Warren holds a Bachelors degree from Pepperdine University, a Master of Divinity degree from Princeton Theological Seminary, and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from The University of Chicago.
---John_T on 1/10/07

JohnT...excellent advise. If more people would just give God the time to work relationships out, it would save a lot of heartache.
---Susie on 1/10/07

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Angela, if this site is from Christain Dr A... then the personality tests there are scientifically validated. (Lynette also knows how important that is.)

Nevertheless, I advise GO SLOW IN THIS I percieve a vulnerability in your posts that may not be healthy. If it is of God. it can't be stopped, and time will not hurt it. But if it is NOT from God it may have an "urgency" to proceed. Please talk to uninvolved others about this, like a pastor. Don't lament for years a wrong decision.
---John_T on 1/10/07

Angela, I know several people who met their mates on the internet and they have wonderful marraiges. You won't know for sure until you make an attempt. The Word says if we ask anything in Jesus' name he will give it to us. Ask God to tell you in a way that you will never doubt it was Him and he will. Then wait for God. He has promised that his Word will not return to him void.
---faye4464 on 1/9/07

Hope you all are having a good weekend.
---Angela89 on 1/6/07

Thanks Alan! I see what you mean.
---Susie on 1/6/07

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nananana ... I am not sure you are correct about the "good" email address
---alanUKquent64534 on 1/6/07

Susie & Nananana
I think this one will prove the magic point
---alanUKquent64534 on 1/6/07

Hey, Alan, I knew it wasn't you from your voice. Susie's voice is sweeter :))
---Caring on 1/6/07

Susie ... There you are ... he last one which was published with your name at the end actually came from me!!
So it could be possible for someone else to publish all sorts of things in someone else's name, and thus completely destroy their credibility, and make it appear they tell lies.
And it is possible for two people to use the same name, and so cause confusion
---alanUKquent64534 on 1/6/07

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Alan: Susie just meant by 'verified' that the post will get posted if there's a good e-mail address; NOT that it's connected in any way with the name you choose to attach to that particular posting!
---nanananana on 1/6/07

Susie ... In my experience, the posters are not verified by the email address.
It is possible to send a blog using your own email address, but the name shown as the sender is what yuo type in as your first name/
N0ow this will prove it
This is alanUKquent64534 & quoting my norml email address.
But it will be published as if it came from YOU
---susie on 1/5/07

The posts are verified by the email address you give, not the name used.
---Susie on 1/5/07

Angela89...Now if you click on your new name you will see that it lists only this post.
---Susie on 1/5/07

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Thanks for the tip lynet. There probably are other Angela's.
---Angela89 on 1/5/07

Lynet...You're welcome. It is very helpful to check out the honesty of some of the posts on these blogs.
---Susie on 1/5/07

Thanks for the tip Susie. I clicked on my name and found that all my recent posts were there with the titles. I was able to look back and see some of the blog questions I have responded to in the past.
Angela, all the post under my name are mine, but if you feel there has been an error in your list perhaps the moderator can help you, or if there is another Angela you could use a number, or middle initial with your name.
---lynet on 1/4/07

Angela..When you click on the name, it will list every blog that the person has posted on. You can see the answers that the person posted as well as the other posts on each blog. That's the way it works on Christian Net.
---Susie on 1/3/07

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For your information, I have prayed about this relationship, I haven't just jumped out on a limb hoping not to fall. I have a friend that is single and never married. She is happy that way. I don't believe God intends for me to remain single the rest of my life. I am prayerfully trusting God to show me if this is right for me and my children.
---Angela on 1/3/07

Susie, when you click on a poster's name and see all the posts listed...that doesn't meam they all came from that person. I checked out what was under my name...I guarentee that I did NOT write many of those posts. Many of them are against what I believe and I would never have said them!
---Angela on 1/3/07

daphn..I read Elizabeth Elliot's webpage and was impressed. Thank you for enlightening me as to who she is. In my earlier post, I was referring to all the "Christians" who put so much faith in the words of those televangelists who are spreading false doctrine.
---Susie on 12/30/06

Amen daphn....Too many women (myself included) have spent too many hours trying to find our happiness in a man. When we come to realize that Jesus is the Man for us, then He makes our life worthwhile.
---Susie on 12/29/06

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Susie, Elizabeth Elliott is the widow of James Elliot, a pilot/missionary (along with Nate Saint and others) who was martyred by the Auca Indians around 1956, I think). She's been an amazing model of strength, courage, and biblical feminity over the years. She is NOT a televangelist.
---daphn8897 on 12/29/06

I think her point, as was mine, is that being single isn't a curse, and we need to be content where the Lord has us. I sense from Angela's posts that she wants to be rescued... she needs to let the Lord be her source, not a man. It isn't easy, and it may sound harsh...but it is the truth.
---daphn8897 on 12/29/06

Daphne ... Sorry to have got the gender wrong.
It seemed to me that if she meant "at present" there would have been little point in making the comment, as it would not have been very helpful.
But if that's is what she meant, she obviously is right.
---alanUKquent64534 on 12/28/06

Who is Elizabeth Elliott? I just know what Jesus says!!! It's time Christians started making up their own minds by reading what the Word of God says! Stop listening to all these televangelists and listen to Jesus!
---Susie on 12/28/06

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Alan, It is MS. Elliott. And her point (which you obviously missed) was that if the woman was single, it was God's will, AT THAT TIME, for her to be so. Ms. Elliott is certainly not a fool... she is one of the most well known godly women in evangelical circles. Basically, when you were single at 28, it was God's will for you to be single, AT THAT TIME. Sheesh...
---daphn8897 on 12/28/06

Daphne ... Your story indicates that Elliot meant it was God's will the lady remained single. If that is the case, I suggest he is a fool?
I was single at age 28. No doubt Mr Elliot would have told me that it was God's will for me to stay single.
And yet the next year, He gave me a marvellous wife. Mind you, I did have to ask her out, and then to marry me. God does not do everything for yuo ... you have to take some action yourself.
---alanUKquent64534 on 12/27/06

Better to be single and sane, than dating and disfunctional.

Better to be single and secure in Jesus, than dating in disillusionment.

Better to be single and saved, than dating and lost.
---Deb on 12/26/06

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