Is Male Companionship Cheating
I am married but my husband doesn't spend time with me but rather spend time with what he says are platonic female friends and male friends. I'm lonely and considered the idea of male companionship, no sex, just to have someone to talk to and do things with. This isn't cheating. Right?
Join Our Free Penpals and Take The Relationships Quiz
---lonely on 1/1/07
Helpful Blog Vote (18)
Wow! this is unbelievable and I thought I was the only one going through this almost identical scenario, if it is cheating I don't agree. My spouse treats me the exact same way he gets on the cell and talks, treats his female friends with so much love, respect and when it comes to spending time with me or even talking to me it's like it's a chore for him. He argues at me more than talk. I've come to the conclusion I'm not going to compete for time with my own husband, rather I am going to find someone to talk to that will appreciate me and the time we spend together.
---yvonne_chestnut on 4/13/12|
tell your husband that you want date- just you and him alone and together, a date doing soemthing that you both enjoy- maybe a honeymoon to rekindle your relationship. And during your date when you're both feeling good, tell him that you want more of this sortof thing- one-on-one togetherness.
---Eloy on 11/23/09|
It's not ok to do this. Just as it's not OK for your husband to be doing this. He is already , at least on the emotional level, being unfaithful to you. You need to pray for him, and be honest before God and yourself as to why he is seeking out alternative companionship, and then prayerfully rectify those problems.
---Eric on 6/1/09|
You are setting yourself up to cheat if you do this. Your emotional needs are not being met by your husband. Looking outside your marriage for a male friend to meet those needs is definitely wrong and will end up destroying your marriage. You need to insist on marriage counseling. In the mean time, surround yourself with some good Christian female friends who can offer companionship and prayer support until you get your marriage back on track.
---Shirley on 4/14/09|
It may not be cheating in the traditional sense, but be careful with that. You might find yourself wanting to be with someone else, too, rather than your husband, which will drive you further apart. Are there other issues in your relationship with your husband that are causing both of you to seek companionship elsewhere? i agree with madison. Consider marriage counseling together.
---dawn on 4/9/09|
i do not consider it cheating. i think some people just need to talk, and if they can find a christian to talk to, so be it.
---debi_coblentz on 4/3/09|
You and your husband need to seek the companionship of a marital therapist.
---Madison1101 on 3/27/08|
Lonely one::Do 2 wrongs make a right?.while understanding your Plight & the unfair condition you are placed in your true & simple suggestiion is a prelude to danger.If you desire to go that route make sure you have & understand the Truth :safety IN numbers is desired.One wrong step & you will be breaking the 6TH.Divert your energies elsewhere.
---Emcee on 5/3/07|
Listen to what these people are saying. Your marriage seems to be on a downhill slide already. He doesn't want to be around you, so he seeks others to hang out with. Your husband has a problem, don't turn it into a bigger one. Pray and talk to your husband. I'm sorry.
---star on 5/3/07|
Sounds like cheating to me. I would think I was cheating on my wife if I was having female companionship just so I would have someone to talk to and do things with. I would also know I was being very selfish--notice I would be doing what I want, so I can get what I desire. Instead of seeking what you want, consider lifting others up, help them find happiness, joy--starting with your own husband. When we let I (the Big Three--Me, myself, and I) go and seek to be like Him, we find things really do change.
---Wayne87 on 1/6/07|
I would consider it to be cheating. I would question where your marriage and where it stands. If you find yourself lonely and your husband is not there, he is the one that has the problem. I have male and female friends. so doesn't my husband, but we don't go out with them without the other one present. If you go through with this, then you are giving Satan an invitation to come on in.
---Rebecca_D on 1/5/07|
In the beginning God..... 1st take this problem to God in prayer. Tell Him everything you are feeling and the things you need that are not against His will.
Ask Him to help you in His wisdom to correct the situation, to correct you if you are doing something not quite right in your home, and to also correct your husband. believe HE will do it, you will receive it.
---adetunji on 1/4/07|
It is NEVER Ok for a Christian husband or wife to have a "best friend" of the opposire sex. Your spouse should be your best friend. Anything else is "playing with fire." If you love the Lord and/or your husband, abandon this idea once and for all!
---Crystal on 1/4/07|
I've had lots of male friends through out my marriage and never was tempted to commit adultry. But why would you choose to get a 'male' friend? Whats wrong with a female friend? I find my female friends are more understanding and just easier to talk to about certain subjects.
---sue on 1/2/07|
No one gets married to be alone, and in our vows we promise to "forsake all others."
Your husband has a problem, maybe he thinks it's being married, but the problem is he is neglecting you and needs to balance his time with consideration given first and foremost to you.
---Pharisee on 1/2/07|
You are putting yourself right in the path of temptation if you consider having male friends. Your husband is wrong to have female friends too. Are you both saved?
---Helen_5378 on 1/2/07|
Although you may have good intentions ,you are playing with fire. You are already hurting from your husbands emotional cheating on you so it would be very easy to be tempted into a less platonic relationship. Try to get your husband to go to counseling with you,he needs to see where he is wrong and you need to see there's other solutions than dating another man. Don't let husband go alone ,be ready and never let him go visiting without you. Most of all pray,Christian or not, seek Christ.
---Darlene_1 on 1/2/07|
And how do you feel about your husband's female "friends"?
Having male companionship to fullfill a need that your husband won't fill is akin to emotional adultery.
On my wife's deathbed she confessed to such an emotional involvement. It was devasting to me.
---Name_Withheld on 1/2/07|
Wrong! If you need companionship, find a female friend you can talk to. Why open the door to temptation? If your husband has time to spend with his "platonic" female friends, why doesn't he just stop seeing them and use the time to spend with you?
---wivv on 1/1/07|
If you want to make of your marriage a bigger train wreck than it already is, go right ahead.
The real question is this: why is your husband spending time with his male and female friends instead of his wife? Have you asked him this?
---Jack on 1/2/07|