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How Long Can I Wait On Him

I am 44 he is 49, we have both been divorced, dating a year. He is a good Christian man. How long do you wait? I cherish my time spent with him, but I am starting to wonder if he will ever be able to commit to me. He says he loves me, but what if he loves with no commitment of marriage?

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 ---Terri on 1/16/07
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I feel sorry for desperate women, ready to run after a man's car and lick his tires if she can catch up with it.
Some hang everything they have on their idea of personal beauty, thinking that their beauty alone will allow them to hang onto a man. Wrong. You may catch him, but all the superficial exterior trappings do not work in the end.
Why not worship Jesus Christ. He can find you a man if He wants you to be with one.
---Towanda on 7/22/07


Ask him what he thinks about marriage. If you can't be open and discuss it then it's not meant to be.
---grace3869 on 7/22/07


then enjoy the friendship...who says you have to be married. you should only be married if both want to take the relationship to a more physical level. But you can be friends, very close friends and lead a life as an individual. you are both divorced there's baggage and fear there maybe you should encourage counseling to see if there is a problem.
---Jared on 1/20/07


Terri...I will keep you in prayer as you make this decision. The Lord will make it turn out for His glory in the end.
---Susie on 1/19/07


Jack,

Not understanding my faith as deeply as I would like, has hindered my judgement. I think I will take time and refocus, maybe my confusion is just my gut telling me to step back for a while. Thank you all!
---Terri on 1/18/07




**We have discussed marriage a few months ago, and he is concerned about our relationship changing after we are married.**

Well, DUH! All relationships change after marriage.

When "being in love with him" actually changes to "loving him", that's a change--and how it's supposed to change.

Remember, in Bible times, love was NOT the motivation for marriage, but rather its fruit.
---Jack on 1/18/07


Johnny Angel, how I love him
He's got something that I can't resist
But he doesn't even know that I..I..I exist

Johnny Angel, how I want him
'cause I love him, 'cause I love him
And I pray someday he'll love me
And together we will see how lovely
heaven will be

I'm in heaven, I get carried away
I dream of him and me and how it's gonna be
Other fellas call me up for a date
But I just sit and wait
I'd rather concentrate

On Johnny Angel, cause I love him
---Johnny_Angel on 1/17/07


Thank you all for your suggestions, and questions...they have given me plenty to think about. We have discussed marriage a few months ago, and he is concerned about our relationship changing after we are married. I believe he still doesn't trust that as a christian couple we would grow together. I love this man but as a christian woman the obvious next step is to get married, and if he can't then I need to move along with my life.
---Terri on 1/17/07


Terri, why is it so important to you for him to commit to marriage to you right now? You sound too anxious. If you want to follow Jesus, do what Jesus said to do. If anyone marries a divorced woman, she is considered an adulterus woman. Mark Chapter 10.
Paul tells us that if you are divorced, then you are to remain single. You only have a right to re-marry if your spouse dies.
---Donna9759 on 1/17/07


My pastor has given us a road map to this area. Try the spirt by the spirit. You need almost a year to heal from past relationships. If you are already doing the wifey stuff ( cooking and cleaning) then why should he give you his brand name (last name) he is already getting everything without the commitment. To get a real good answer you need to get by yourself, fast and wait for God to answer you. No one has the truth but God.
---Towanna on 1/17/07




It's strange, but the best people to ask are his ex and his kids. You've probably never hear the rest of the story so go find out. I suggest he do the same as he may have some second thoughts about you too. Any relatives including parents can give you plenty of advice on his past and character. They've known him a lot longer than you and are a good judge if he will make a good husband or not. Happy hunting.
---john on 1/16/07


Has he actually brought up marriage, or are you merely daydreaming or wishing for it?

Maybe you should broach the issue. It's not like you're kids. You're both mature adults.
---Jack on 1/16/07


You need to be bold as well as blunt. Ask him where does he intend for the relationship. Be prepared to accept whatever he says. Since you are looking for marriage, and if he says that he does not want to marry you, move on. Joy9988
---Joy9988 on 1/16/07


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