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My Wife Lives With A Guy

My wife left me and says the guy she lives with is just a roommate. My kids tell me that they show intimacy and love in front of them. Isn't this wrong to show them and what should I tell them when they ask me if this is wrong.

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 ---Jason on 1/28/07
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Tell them their mother loves them very much. You love them very much. Mommy's behavior is between her, God and you. Tell them to pray for Mommy and you.
---Madison1101 on 6/3/08


if she left you to be with another man, she has committed adultery. she has chosen to leave God. it would be in your best interests to divorce her, so you can both move on with your lives. you can find someone that will love you for you. teach your children that sometimes marriages do not work out, it is not their fault. sometimes people make wrong decisions in life and learn the hard way. keep loving them and reassuring them that they are loved by both of you. I hope it all works out for you.
---anonymous on 2/11/07


Still here, Jason?

Have our comments helped you any?

This forum can be a support of you if you let it become that. However, do not take personally some of the hurtful things some of the less sensitive among us may say, OK.
---John_T on 2/10/07


When your children ask you ANY question you should always answer truthly. You don't need to put their mother down when you answer. But, you do need to tell them what sin is. Also, remind them that God will forgive anyone who asks forgiveness, including your wife. Do not pump your children with questions about their mother! Do not use them as go-betweens in this!
---Susie on 1/29/07


Of course you should tell the kids that the kind of behavior your wife is engaging in is wrong. Just like I'm sure you tell them that stealing or lying is wrong. You need to take a stand and be firm in your beliefs, not wishy washy. Your children need to see you as an earthly form of the Heavenly Father. Steady, loving, an ever present refuge for them that they can always count on to give them the sense of security they need right now.
---ralph7477 on 1/29/07




asking kids what their feelings on this are first might be helpful.
---dsda on 1/28/07


Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Do it without prejudice, as unto the Lord. Your children should understand that we can't live like alley cats.

1Co 6:15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of a harlot? God forbid.
1Co 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
---Pharisee on 1/28/07


Your ONLY job here is to protect the children, and get counsel from a pastor and an attorney as part of protecting them.

If they ask, tell them the truth, as they can understand it without givnig them any ideas that mommy abandoned them.

Madison is correct, they must never get any idea that mommy does not love them, NOR the idea that mommy moved out because they were bad. Mommy made a choice, and we have to pray for her, even though her choice hurts us now.
---John_T on 1/28/07


First, you need to find out why she left you. (Would suggest a Christian, licensed, marriage counselor for both of you, or for just you if she refuses to attend.)
Second, don't say anything to your kids unles they ask and just say you don't understand. They will figure it out.
---wivv on 1/28/07


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