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Live With My Boy Friend

Is it wrong to leave an abusive husband who happens to be a leader in the church so I can live with my boy friend of 11 years although we are not intimate?

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 ---janee on 1/31/07
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Janee: How is your husband abusive? Are you saying you have a husband aaaand a boy friend?
---Leon on 12/9/07


I agree with Rebecca O. unless your husband leaves and asks for a devoice you as a christian are boud to your husband. And by being with another man for 11 years is just as much adultry as if you committed it. "to look is to commit"
---Mother_B. on 2/21/07


I'll bet that this is the OTHER half of the blog begun by Jason, complaining about HIS wife's adultery.
---John_T on 2/21/07


.Until divorce is final, you remain married, and remain in adultery. Jack that is correct.

You gloss over the fact that this has been adultery over 11 years long. She tells only her side of the story, and she tries to paint it pretty, to gain our sympathy.

So much is NOT said, so I stuck with the simple, and most obvious: The marriage is not disolved, she is thus married.

Does she really cares a bit about pleasing God; it has been going on for 11 years w/o divorce?
---John_T on 2/10/07


Yes. It doesn't matter who your husband is, if he is abusive to you, then leave him, but do not run into the arms of another man. That is just wrong. So your married but yet, have a boyfriend for 11 years? There is your problem, you're with another man. You are abusive as well as you say your husband is. Your abusing your marriage by having a boyfriend. Find your way back to God and try and patch your relationship with your husband.
---Rebecca_D on 2/10/07




Honey, My guess is that you have deep feelings for your boyfriend and are wishing that it would be ok in God's eyes to be with him. It must be hard walking in your shoes because if your husband is well respected you automatically looked to be the one wearing the scarlet letter. I don't judge you for complicated curcumstance but I would reccomend hoofing it alone until the divorce is final. Easier said than done since we all desire companionship and intimacy.
---tradedfate on 2/3/07


**Until divorce is final, you remain married, and remain in adultery.**

Are you saying that God allows secular civil courts to decide when a marriage ends?

BCV, please.

To drag strangers into the conversation, Jesus said something VERY different, in fact, almost the opposite.
---Jack on 2/2/07


INCREDIBLE!!!

You put lots of window dressing on it, and then you ask us to condone your adultery.

Hubby may be abusive, but that is his problem, and you need to be safe. (Was this 11 yearsd ago?)

Since you have neither sought legal separation, nor divorce, you remain married while living with another man. Until divorce is final, you remain married, and remain in adultery.

Two wrongs do not make a right.
---John_T on 2/1/07


**that doesn't give your husband a right to be abusive - It does give him the right to divorce you**

I wonder if her husband's abuse was a reation when he heard she'd had a boyfriend of 11 years. How wouls she expect him to react?

Could it be her husband's "abuse" lies in his simply not tolerating her unwifely behavior?
---Jack on 2/1/07


Janee, how long have you been married? How long has your husband been abusive? What do you consider to be abuse? And, when did you stop loving your husband?
---Pat on 2/1/07




I think the question that should have preceded this one is 'should I have a boyfriend while I'm married?' However the horse is gone through the gate and you probably should cut ties with your boyfriend, work out issues with your husband (to stay or to go) and work from there.
---caree3694 on 2/1/07


Even if you've had a boyfriend for 11 years - that doesn't give your husband a right to be abusive - It does give him the right to divorce you. You may have every reason to leave your husband - no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. But for your own mental health you should be alone for awhile to heal and regain your "self" before you move on to a boyfriend.
---grace3869 on 1/31/07


HOLY Moly! No wonder your husband is abusive! No, not really, there is NO excuse for an abusive husband, but there should be no excuse for adultry either. I would say, YES, it is wrong, even if you're not intimate.
---sue on 1/31/07


"so I can live with my boy friend of 11 years although we are not intimate"

Abraham Lincoln said: "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." And, you are not fooling me right now! The fact that you have had a boyfriend of 11 years is called ADULTERY! Living with him would also be called ADULTERY! It's not just wrong, it's sin!
---Susie on 1/31/07


You were carrying on with another man for 11 years, but you say your HUSBAND is abusive?

Pray tell, how did you expect him to react to your behavior? With applause and kisses?
---Jack on 1/31/07


my dear friend,do not dare fate.its already a bad situation i.e between you and you husband which should have been handled by seeking Godly council and also prayer but from that you want to live with your boyfriend ?.oh dear,thats is even making it worse.may God grant you Wisedom.
---Julius on 1/31/07


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janee, you don,t have to live with an abusive husband,but a boyfriend of 11 years.?????and not intimate. do you kiss him?do you tell him you love him?do you hold hands?God hates divorce.have you tried counseling?
---tom2 on 1/31/07


my dear friend,do not dare fate.its already a bad situation i.e between you and you husband which should have been handled by seeking Godly council and also prayer but from that you want to live with your boyfriend ?.oh dear,thats is even making it worse.may God grant you Wisedom.
---Julius on 1/31/07


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