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Parents That Made Mistakes

Do any of you parents out there struggle with feeling guilty over little mistakes and imperfect parenting?

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 ---tradedfate on 2/3/07
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Yes, everyone who has ever had children knows all about that. But no one is perfect and if we learn from our mistakes, then we should be pretty good at it by the fifth or six child.
---lorra8574 on 6/21/07


Yes, often, and I am now old enough to be a great-grandmother. I see my off-spring making their own mistakes in parenting also but we only ever learn from our own and not from the mistakes of others. It is difficult not to interfere sometimes but I know that I must not.
---m.p.a. on 6/21/07


** Jack...It is obvious that you have neither a wife nor kids when you make a statement about how you don't understand why anyone is tired at night.**

Did I say you shouldn't be tired at night?

I was simply making a suggestion to say your evening prayers earlier when you weren't quite as tired. That's all.

(Of course, unmarried people are NEVER tired at night, are they? That's what your words are implying.)
---Jack on 2/20/07


Jack...It is obvious that you have neither a wife nor kids when you make a statement about how you don't understand why anyone is tired at night.
---Susie on 2/19/07


While reading to my kids at night I'd fall asleep every time! Had a full time job cleaning houses, going to school full time and 3 school age kids! No wonder I was tired!
---sue on 2/19/07




**My struggle is getting the kids to pray at night. Am usually too tired!!!!!**

I can understand that, but as a suggestion, try saying your family evening prayers earlier in the evening rather than the last thing at night.
---Jack on 2/19/07


Ajaya::Try praying on an empty stomach,its more effective all around.Dont wait till bed time when you are exhausted No prayer No food! They will come to heel, Harsh, But effective till they get the picture,& become like sheep from ravenous wolves.
---Emcee on 2/16/07


I've made mistake before as a parent but the idea is for you to start again prayerfully when you realize the mistake. My struggle is getting the kids to pray at night. Am usually too tired!!!!!
---ajaya9574 on 2/16/07


Stephany: You believe in God, but you deny his power. All throughout history poor and illiterate parents have trained up their children in the ways they should go and the children have grown to become some of the most notable people in the history of the world: scientist, CEOs, preachers, artists, writers, politians. All without the need of computers, formal education, child development experts, parenting coaches, etc. For instance, Abraham Lincoln.
---Steveng on 2/15/07


I think kids are out of control today not because they're not being spanked but because of sheer laziness on the parents side. Yeah, some parents keep their kids on short leashes, but most want everybody to do it for them. Like making companies put V-Chips in TVs and Ratings on games, cds, and TV shows because most parents are too busy with their own "toys."
---Gef on 2/15/07




I have seen terrible, out of control people change overnight when they realize they are going to become parents. I have also seen some people who were totally in control of their lives in all ways turn into the worst parents. As far as finances, most parents will tell you that you just can't always have enough money to raise children. There is always something coming up. As far as limiting how many children you have, that is a good point as a lot of couples never discuss that before they get married.
---Susie on 2/15/07


you could tell if someone is going to be a good parent or not by the way they act (like if they act responsible & grown up.) id also make sure the wanna-be parents had enough money to care for the kid as well as a limit to how many one could have.
---stephany on 2/14/07


All parents make some mistakes, we're human. But as parents we should want our children to grow up to be 'normal' productive adults.
I love my children, but never spoiled them. They were taught early on that with privleges comes responsibility, they were good kids, all 5 of them. AMEN Gef, hitting children is not a good idea, I never had to spank my kids, nor wanted to. All the kids are grown now, all college educated, no drugs, and all have good careers.
---NV_Barbara on 2/14/07


Stephany...I had a boyfriend years ago whose family started calling me #9 when they met me. He was really weird, so I dropped him. Turned out, I would have been his ninth wife had I married him.
---Susie on 2/14/07


Then there was the guy who was asked by a friend of mine how many times he had been married. He said, "Uh. Just a minute. I'll have to figure it out." I ran into him weeks later and he said, "I've figured it out." I said, "You've figured what out." He said, "I've been married eight times."
---Susie on 2/14/07


There was the guy who was asked if his two ex-wives were his only marriages. He said, "Yep. Oh, and the one in between." He had a little trouble with the truth. He said he only had children by his second wife. His daughter was showing family photos and there was one of him with two children. We asked if the girl in the picture was her or her sister. She said, "That's Dad's two kids by his first wife." Like I said, he had a little trouble with the truth.
---Susie on 2/14/07


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Stephany...I was just wondering how you would know what kind of parent anyone would be if they have never had children.
---Susie on 2/14/07


You can have background checks done yourself through services on the internet or most police stations will give you info about it. It doesnt cost much...7 to 10 bucks is all. A lot of employers are starting to do background checks now it seems. I even did a background check on one of my now-former boyfriends once and found out he had a big-time record, everything from burglary to drugs. I dumped him the next day!
---Stephany on 2/13/07


My friend Erik went to Denmark once where spanking is completly banned and he said they were the sweetest kids, and he doesnt even like kids. I lived in FL for 14 years where some kids were spanked, some were not, so some of the kids were okay while some werent. In KY where Im stuck now (HELP!) Everybody (but me,) hits their kids and Ive never seen such wild, disobediant kids. I've always worked in retail and cant help but do these observations. From what Ive seen spanking is just useless and dumb.
---Gef on 2/13/07


I didn't hit my kids either. Maybe I should have!!
---Penelope on 2/13/07


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LOL Stephany....Who would do the background checks?
---Susie on 2/13/07


I believe that if a child is out of hand and has done something to risk himself and has done something malicious to someone or intentionally damaged their property, then that child should be spanked, but never in anger. The Bible even speaks about it. If you love your child, you will do this if necessary. With that said, I never had to spank my child, not even once, and he is 16 years old. I thank God that he is a good boy.
---John on 2/13/07


No I don't. I have two kids (7&5) I am not perfect, so my parenting skills aren't perfect. I tell them that if they don't have God in their hearts and keep him in there, then they won't make it to heaven. Some tell me that what I say is harsh. I'm going to make mistakes. But as a parent I don't feel guilty for correcting them. If I correct them now while their young, then they won't walk all over me when they are older like alot of kids do now and are out of control.
---Rebecca_D on 2/13/07


It's really unfortunate that Christian parents do not know how to use the Bible as a parenting book. Every parent could easily quote the handful of verse the Bible has including the "spare the rod..." Psycologists have warned parents about spanking since World War Two and now look at what our society has become - full of delinquents. We have more teen problems today since we considerably cut down on spanking - and it's going to get worse.
---Steveng on 2/13/07


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I dont hit my kids either. Thats one thing I'll never do. I dont understand how any parent could willingly hurt their child. I'm all for selective parenting where you'd have to have gene tests, mental tests, background checks, etc. done before you can have a child.
---Stephany on 2/13/07


I use to but not any more since I came to know God Almighty. I committed them all to Him and now I am free...we can never pay Him 4 what He did 4 us...but praise Him always
---jana on 2/12/07


Not really. I just do the opposite of what my parents did. : ) Like my parents thought the only way to discipline a child was by spanking. Hitting of ANY kind is not allowed in my house. Time-outs are wonderful and I wish the US would follow other countries in banning spanking.
---Gef on 2/11/07


John, you are right. I just don't think about it like that.
---CATHERINE on 2/7/07


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We could feel guily but we refuse to. Even that was taken care of by Jesus. Looking back I'm sure everyone of us could make some improvements. If you have guilt about something go and ask forgiveness and then foget about it.
---john on 2/7/07


You don't have to be perfect, to be the perfect parent.
---Rachel on 2/7/07


Seldom, do I feel guilty about my raising my one and only. But if every parent would FOLLOW after God in raising children===WOW!
---CATHERINE on 2/6/07


We all could have done with a parenting handbook and the right advice to go with it but we live in a world of Hard Knocks and Guilt is just another emotion to deal with when things don't go according to ones expectations.
---Carloa5754 on 2/6/07


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Yes, especially when your children remind you quite often of the mistakes you made. Of course, in my instance, they are diverting the attention from the sinful lives they live. They would rather have me out living in the world, than serving Jesus. But, they can't change my mind!
---Susie on 2/5/07


Thank you all for your encouragement. This is the first of the blogs I have looked at on this website that are answered in love and not in judgement and agruing. I am a young mother and I hope that when I have grandchildren I can look back with pride at the way they turn out.
---tradedfate on 2/5/07


I made plenty of mistakes in raising my kids. Some they resented me for into college. When I went into treatment for an eating disorder, I was offered family therapy and the opportunity to have my kids participate with me. We were able to work through the resentments they had, and I was able to let go of the guilt I carried unnecessarily.
---Madison1101 on 2/4/07


M.p.a:: Please do not chide yourself "To err is human to forgive divine"no child comes with a book of rules & we see fit to deal with the situation as we know how. God knows your Heart & Endeavour.Your confession,in forgiveness & is his reward to you.
---Emcee on 2/4/07


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m.p.a.,I'm a greatgrandmother, just a thought;the Bible tells older women to teach younger to be keepers at home. Don't think it's just housekeeping,but also giving input on rearing children. I did with grandchildren,especially since I babysat them, also greatgrandchildren,babysat the oldest of them. I made mistakes with my children all mothers do but if input can help mother and child,I give it. Haha no one hates me yet,they still come around so it must all depend on how we do it that counts.
---Darlene_1 on 2/4/07


I doubt there is any greater challenge in life than parenting.If we need Holy Spirit guidance anywhere in our life we need it here.Our children should learn to know God and experience Him through what we do and how we react?Most of all where and when we have made mistakes we should be big enough to acknowledge them and apologize even to our children.How else will they learn to humble themselves and repent?
---Martin on 2/4/07


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