Affair Produced Another Daughter
Having suffered through adultery, lies and multitudes of other sin a friend of mine found out her husband has a five year old daughter resulting from an affair. He has not told her about the child. She has held this secret in a number of years. How should she proceed?
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---Wendy on 2/6/07
Helpful Blog Vote (8)
Wendy, since friend confided in you, this is out of her hands, but it is also above your pay grade.
Friend needs to get counseling, as Madison said. Go to her pastor, telling all, asking to help reconcile the marriage. Then ask to do pastoral counseling with both.
You remain a friend, ONLY. Print these responses & show her, she can make a good decision.
DONT take sides; if marriage is restored, and you believe her, your friendship will dissolve to keep her marriage.
---John_T on 2/10/07|
Wendy, Susie is right, that whole scenario doesn't add up. I am not siding with the man, I just think your friend needs some closure at this point, and maybe to be more bold in getting to the bottom of this.
---Pharisee on 2/7/07|
We have witnessed how dangerous a love triangle can be. I have no idea what the astronaut was doing with all that junk in the trunk, but it was not a picnic basket.
I think you should stay out of it. Let your friend handle this and no more specifics needed here.
---Cindy on 2/7/07|
The "other woman" told your friend this in order to cause problems so she could have the husband. Your friend does not need to be believing this trouble-making woman. She needs to believe her husband. If this were his child, there is a good chance that the other woman would have gone after him for child support by now. That's the way it works in the system.
---Susie on 2/7/07|
You have a valid question. Thanks guys for the positive input. She has held this secret so long that she has grown to despise him for the lies and now is intolerable to him. She has confronted him without exposure of the source, and has been told no. It's also like one writer said, probably none of my business, yet I believe in marriage. I am biased because I am not an advocate for divorce, but love her.
---Wendy on 2/6/07|
I am a good friend first of all. Secondly of all I really care about her and thought that such concerned blogger as yourself would understand that being that she is one of my friends I want to help. The other woman called her and told her several years ago. I direct her to the word, but cannot relate to what she is going through.
---Wendy on 2/6/07|
She should proceed with her own business, without her friend announcing it on a worldwide web site.
Unless you are the "friend".
How could she hold this in secret for a number of years - or are you, the "other woman"?
---Paula on 2/6/07|
I would first want to know if she indeed even wants to proceed with exposing the truth or proceed with her life the way it is now. I wonder the reasons she hasn't said anything to her husband. She must be in a lot of pain.
---Annie on 2/6/07|
Avoid self will. It only hears the cries of self pity and considers no one else.
A Christian counselor or the Holy Spirit are both of no use to someone bent on having their own way.
God will heal and lead you if you lend consideration to what you call impossible, for all things are possible with God.
---Pharisee on 2/6/07|
Your friend should talk to her husband instead of other people. It is possible that the "rumor" of this child being his is not true. Until she deals directly with her husband, she cannot get it resolved.
---Susie on 2/6/07|
I would suggest legal advice as well as counseling for her. She needs both.
---Madison1101 on 2/6/07|